Chapter 18 : Moving Forward
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Myer.
I need to apologize to my readers. I've had this chapter uploaded on FFn for weeks, but forgot to add it to the story. Sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.
This chapter begins to smooth things out. It'll either really piss you off or give you peace about Jake, Edward and Bella. Don't forget to let me know what you think.
Oh, if I haven't told you in a while… I flove you hard. You guys make me love to write.
((((( Bella's POV )))))
It was time for my doctor appointment. The office called, asking us to come in, and discuss my results with the doctor. My nerves were everywhere which made Edward more on edge. I couldn't focus and I paced the house over and over, looking for things and kept forgetting what it was that I was needing.
When Carlie and Brady ran into the room, I may have even forgot to respond to their "I love you." All I kept thinking about was how bad this would be, and how it would devastate my family. I had already put them through so much.
Edward seemed very calm, despite his edginess earlier. He took up my slack. He dealt with the children and explained to Carlie and Brady that I wasn't feeling well and he was bringing me to the doctor to get me well. Thankfully, they understood, and ran into Esme's room.
"Bella," Edward said to me while turning me toward him. "Just relax. Whatever it is, we can handle it. Everything'll be fine, I promise." I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I just gave him a half smile, and he pulled me close. "Please, don't give up on me without even knowing what we're fighting against. I need you to survive this. I need us to survive this."
With that, he finished getting dressed and helped me pick out my clothes. We got in the car and were off to the hospital. I just couldn't seem to pull myself together. I knew I was making it worse for him, but what was I to do?
On the way there, my phone rang. I recognized the number. It was Jake. I looked at it ring a few times then silenced it.
"Who was that?" Edward asked.
"Jake," I said, then took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.
"Why is he calling?" Edward asked, sounding annoyed.
"I don't know. I've only spoken to him that one time, and he hasn't called since. Maybe he's wanting to say thank you."
"Huh. I sure hope so. I hope I didn't make the wrong decision," Edward said in thought.
"It'll be fine. I'm sure he knows exactly what you did for him and understands the terms."
We arrived at the hospital in record time. He let me out at the door while he went to find a spot to park. We waited for what seemed like forever in the waiting room. It was longer than the last time. Any other time it would've been fine, but today was different - I paced the whole time.
Edward tried to redirect my thoughts. "Bella, when we're finally cleared, have you thought about birth control? We can ask while we're here if you want."
"I don't know. I honestly hadn't thought about it. I guess I can if you'd like."
"It's up to you. You have to carry my babies, not me. I'll have as many with you as you allow me. I just know you're probably tired of being pregnant. I'm fine either way," he kissed me on my cheek, and smiled. Suddenly, I didn't feel as anxious. He's always had a way of calming me. Just his touch melted away almost all of my anxiety.
"Bella, Bella Cullen!" A nurse called for me. We both went back to the room. It was different from the ones I usually go into. This room had extra lights, a newer bed, and much more room. They had all types of utensils that were spread across the counter which scared me, and I looked at Edward. He just shook his head, and shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal.
"Don't worry, baby. Carlisle says he's the best in town. You'll be well taken care of," Edward encouraged.
"You told your dad?"
"Well, no, not really. I just asked him questions about Dr. Rabie and his abilities."
He finally came in, but with another doctor in tow. "Shit." I whispered. Both men had interesting looks on their faces while each of them read through my chart.
"Bella, how are you today?" Dr. Rabie asked.
"I'm fine," I snapped. "Please don't small talk me. Tell me what's going on. Be straight with me."
"Well, the sample I took came back negative. Bella, this is Dr. Raney. He's here today for a second opinion. I'd like to check you again, and get his opinion just to be make sure it hasn't grown since I last saw you. Are you all right with that?"
"I guess so...," I said worriedly.
"Bella, don't be worried. I don't expect anything to have changed. I just don't wanna send you out of here without doing all I can for you. Do you understand?"
I agreed, and they left while I got undressed.
Dr. Raney felt around, and opened me up to see what Dr. Rabie had seen. I looked at Edward while he looked down at Dr. Raney.
"Mrs. Cullen, there's no evidence of any growths on your ovaries, whatsoever. Dr. Rabie, can you check to make sure?"
Dr. Rabie checked me again, and smiled. "You're right. Bella, get dressed. We'll be right back."
After I was dressed, they knocked and came back in. "Bella, I just wanted to be sure that I checked everything I should've. In cases like this, if we catch it in the beginning, the treatments can be much more successful. But in your case, all is void. I'm so glad." I leaped off the bed and gave him a huge hug.
"You don't know how worried we've been. Thank you for being concerned. We appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you." Edward said to Dr. Rabie while shaking his hand.
We were on our way out the hospital ready to celebrate when we literally ran into Jake on the way out. In our excitement, we had run into two other people rushing to get back to our children. Jake was our third as we turned the corner right outside the elevator.
When Jake saw us he was shocked then he looked ashamed and put his eyes to Edward's shoes. "Hello Edward, Bella," he almost whispered.
"Hi, Jake. What's up?" I asked.
"Nothing – just going to see my Psychiatrist," he said looking up at Edward. "Thank you for what you did for me. I didn't deserve it but I do appreciate it. I called Bella's phone a little while ago to tell you."
Edward looked blankly at him for a moment. I looked at Edward who looked back at me. He seemed to be thinking about whether or not he wanted to answer Jacob or not. I smiled at Edward and held his hand. The silence was strange and the crickets were coming out when Edward finally spoke.
"You're welcome, but you can thank Bella. She believes in you. I hope you don't make me regret my decision to help you," Edward said sternly.
"I won't. You have my word. I acted ridiculously and I'm so sorry." Jake admitted.
"So, you're back at work?" I asked.
"Yeah, it helps keep me focused. I missed the dramas of the days," he said smiling.
While he was talking, I thought about our great news, so I gripped Edward's hand tightly and smiled at him. Nothing could break my high and I couldn't wait to get home.
"You two look really happy," Jake noticed.
"Yeah, Bella just got some good news, and we were in route to get to our kids," Edward said smiling at me.
Jacob seemed shocked. I guess he didn't expect any conversation from Edward. He just stood there with his mouth open then smiled.
"Jacob, are you all right?" I asked, giggling at the same time.
"Yes, perfectly," he never took his eyes off Edward. "I almost just hugged Edward, but I caught myself." He smiled, and Edward and I laughed. Edward reached his hand out to Jacob in peace.
"Jacob, I'll take a hand shake," he said jokingly as he held his hand out. Jake took Edward's hand then pulled him into a hug.
"I'm truly so sorry for all of my bullshit, and especially for shooting you. You didn't deserve that. I wish we could start over and try to be friends." Jake let him go, but kept his hand. "You're a great person, and I could probably learn a lot from you," Jake admitted.
"Well maybe we can go out to eat together or maybe even work out. I need to get back to the gym anyway," Edward admitted.
"Yes, either would be great - even both."
"I'll call you next week, but right now, we need to get to our children," Edward said smiling and tugging at me."
Jake's whole facial expression changed, and he put his head down. "That's fine. I'll be looking to hear from you. Thank you again, Edward, Bella," with that, he walked off.
Edward looked at me and pulled his wallet out. "Jacob!" Edward called. "Come here." He pulled Leah's picture from three days ago out of his wallet and handed it to Jake. "This is Leah three days ago. She's home now and is perfect. I just wanted you to know."
Jake immediately brightened up. The excitement in his face was hardly contained. He took the picture, and his eyes glassed over like Edward had just given him a million dollars. He pulled the picture close to his chest then kissed it. "Thank you, Edward, so much. Thank you."
Tears were streaming down his face. He stepped back to Edward and pulled him into his embrace. "I know I don't deserve this, but I love you for it. You've definitely made my day," Jacob looked at both of us and walked off. Edward and I stood there and watched him walk off, staring at the picture. He was so into Leah's picture that he didn't see anyone in his line of sight. He bumped into three people while making his way to the elevator.
Edward looked down at me. "What's up with him? Why's he like that about Leah?"
"I told you. He genuinely loves her. I think he really just wants her to be happy - just like you would. I don't understand it myself. It is strange."
"Well, is it safe to let him around Leah with him like that. He looks like a love struck fool."
"No, of course not. Spend some time with him then we'll revisit it in a year or so. Let's see where his mind's at first," I said. "I don't wanna put our children in any danger any more."
"I'm so glad you said that. You know I only offered to spend time with him to keep a close eye on him."
"I know and he knows too," I said giggling.
Edward grabbed my hand as we strolled to the car - taking our time. We were so happy. We just wanted to bask in our new found peace. When we got in the car, I remembered that we hadn't asked Dr. Rabie if we could resume making love so I called him, and he cleared me. He just requested that I call him immediately if I feel any discomfort during or after sex. I also asked him to call me in a prescription for birth control just in case we decided to use it.
I was really excited. I told Edward what he said and he looked at me strangely.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Nothing, Bella, I just don't wanna hurt you," he said sadly.
"Edward! You're about to upset me! You promised me! I promise you this...if you hold back from me, I won't speak to you for a month," I said whining, but threatening. He looked over at me. "Don't tempt me, Edward Cullen. I will do it. And, I'll wear the slinkiest lingerie I can find to bed and rub my cooch until I reach an orgasm every night while you're forced to look and smell the fruits of my labor." He smiled then pulled my hand to his lips.
"Wanna try me?"
"No, I don't. You'd probably do it," we both smiled.
The ride home was long. We just cuddled, laughing from time to time for no particular reason. I thought on our meeting with Jacob, and how gracefully Edward handled him. He's such a great husband, and I'm the luckiest woman in the world. I really hope Jake doesn't disappoint us.
We arrived home.
We were so happy to see our children. Alice and Esme both gave us curious looks at our excitement. I'm sure they wondered what happened in the last four hours that gave us so much happiness, but we ignored them and loved on our children and enjoyed all the new possibilities of our future.
Alice and I decided to take Carlie and Brady to the park. Esme happily kept Cameron, Embry and Leah, and Edward tagged along. We hadn't spent any alone time with Carlie and Brady since I had Cameron, Embry and Leah. We got on the swings and slides with the twins, and they dared us over and over again to follow them on the rides. They accused us of being giants, and laughed because sometimes we couldn't fit. We had so much fun. We laughed more than we had in a long time.
When the twins got tired, Brady crawled into my arms and Carlie into Edwards. Brady is definitely Mommy's baby. He never misses an opportunity to tell me he loves me and he loves cuddling. It usually doesn't take him long to go to sleep. Today was no exception. I pulled him close, kissed his forehead, eyes, cheek, and lips.
Besides the fact that he looks just like Edward - more than the rest - he has a loving kindness about him that draws you in. There's no denying him when he wants something. Never pushy, but definitely knows what he wants.
Carlie on the other hand is a little spit fire and she has her daddy right where she wants him. There's no request too small or too big that she can ask him that he won't jump through a thousand hoops to accomplish for her.
Sometimes I get a little jealous. I know that his love for her is limitless, as it is for me, but the special attention that he gives her is not always as I would prefer. I would never tell him that though. I love seeing him with her like that. A girl should prefer her father. He should be the one to show her how a man should love a woman.
Carlie'll never have a problem being in a relationship with a man that treats her wrong. She'll recognize it immediately for what it is. I only feel for that poor man. How will he ever measure up to Edward? I am dying to see.
I looked over at Alice. Brandon was on her just like Brady was on me - another Mommy's baby. She's so good with him. She shows him very special attention, and never misses an opportunity to tell him that he's loved. I have to admit that I've always watched Alice and Brandon. She's shown me how to keep a loving closeness to my children. I always envied her relationship with him even before Edward and I had children. I knew I wanted exactly that.
One day, I'll have to thank Alice for her displays of love and patience. It's seriously influenced my life.
We got back to the house, put them to bed and went down to talk to Carlisle and Esme. We told them about the past four days and what we had been told. We also told them about the results we got this morning. They weren't very happy with us for not telling them, but they understood why we didn't.
Edward and I were still very excited, and wasn't at all tired. We went downstairs, found an old flick, and took it back to our room.
To be honest, I had no idea what was playing on the television. Edward was looking at it and laughing, but all I could see was him. His beauty, his sexiness, and how much I wanted him.
Since the movie started, I had been subtly making advances to him. Either he didn't get it or he chose to ignore me. Either way, it didn't sit right with me.
I got up, stood in front of him, and removed my shirt and shorts. I had on the blue, silk bra and panties that I picked up while I was pregnant. I knew when I saw it that he'd love it.
He sat there, looking at me but not giving me any facial responses, and I couldn't tell if he liked it or not. I took a step closer to him, and placed my hands in my panties, then took another step closer. He sat there quiet, frozen - seemingly in thought.
I didn't understand what his problem was. He knew how much I wanted him and needed him.
I pulled my hands from my panties and brought it to his mouth. I traced his lips with my juices then pushed my finger into his mouth. He moaned so I straddled his lap. I removed my finger from his mouth and replaced it with my tongue. He allowed it all and eagerly responded, but eventually pulled back.
"Bella...baby..." He whispered to me.
"Shhhhh. Please don't. I need this. I need you.
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