A/N: Well, this is my first Megamind fanfic, though I do have a few oneshots and a couple drabbles that I'm planning on writing.
For fans of my Ranger's Apprentice works, sorry that this isn't an update for any of my Ranger's fics, but I kinda have writer's block for all those stories.
For those who have no idea what I'm going on about, and are here for Megamind fanfiction, I also apologise.
Anyway, I saw the movie two days ago, and absolutely loved it. One of the best things is the myriad paths open to writers like myself, evident in the fact that it's already amassed almost 200 stories on this site even though it was released so recently. So here is my (however small) contribution to the Megamind category.
Oh, and one more thing (sorry, again). I actually wrote this chapter in the 'Notes' app on my IPod, and that was certainly cumbersome enough in itself. What was worse, though, was that when I had almost finished typing, I accidentally selected all text and pasted what was on my clipboard (lyrics for a song, I think), replacing all my work. And Apple, in their infinite wisdom, decided not to equip iPods with an undo. So I had to rewrite the entire chapter, which was fun. I think I actually like this version more, though.
Ahem. Anyway, for those considerate enough to read my ramblings (I really didn't intend for the author's note to be this long), please, read on to the story!
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"You have reached the residency of Megamind, this is Minion speaking. How may I help you?" The cheery voice of the alien-fish-gorilla-cyborg enquired into the mobile phone. Since Megamind had become the city's new hero, Minion had adopted a more secretary-like role. "Uh huh… Uh huh." He nodded each time, despite the fact that the person on the other end of the call would have no idea that he was doing so. "You'd like him to cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the new mall…?" His voice still joyful as ever, he glanced over at the said hero, sleeping in a light doze in his black leather swivel chair. Feeling Minion's gaze resting on him, Megamind opened a pair of tired green eyes. It took a few seconds for the words to sink into his slowly waking brain, but when they did, he made frantic negative motions. Minion smiled and gave him a thumbs-up. "He'd love to. He seems very excited about it." Megamind slapped himself on the forehead, groaning, then scrambled towards Minion, reaching for the phone before he could do any more damage. "Oh, he wants to talk to you."
"Ollo?" Minion opened him mouth to say something, but Megamind was already correcting himself. "Um, hello? Yes, well, you see, there's…" A loud, ear-piercing shriek emanated from the mobile phone, causing the blue-skinned alien to nearly drop it in fright. As it was, he managed to keep it in his grip and held it tentatively about an arm's length away to protect his hearing. Once the noise subsided he gingerly brought the phone back to his ear, now quite concerned about what had happened to the (presumably) young woman on the other end of the call to make her scream like that. "Ollo?" he asked apprehensively, his worry causing him to revert to his old pronunciation again. "Are you alright?"
"OhmygodohmygodOHMYGOD!" The startled blue hero held the phone away from his ear again as the voice reached an increasingly higher pitch than before (if that was in fact even possible). Eventually, she calmed down, and he cautiously inched the mobile back to its intended position. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" the voice babbled. "I just can't believe it's you!"
"Well, you did ring my foone number," he replied reasonably, stumbling a bit on the still relatively new word.
"I believe the word is phone, sir," Minion interjected helpfully. Megamind just gave him a withering glare. After all, it was his fault he was on this portable phone contraption in the first place.
"It's so great that you said yes. I can't wait to tell my boss, he'll be thrilled. Oh, and I'll have to tell Odette, she'll be so jealous. And I'll tell…" She kept on listing all the people she would talk to about it. He tried to explain that he was still very new to being a hero, and thus had a very large and stressful workload already, but she just talked straight over the top of him. Sighing with defeat, he slumped back into his swivel chair, reaching for a pen and some paper. "…And my mum, of course, she'll be so proud I was the one to get this through…"
"Time, date and address, please?" he asked wearily, finally managing to cut her off. She rattled off the details, thanking him profusely. Squeezing in a goodbye when she paused to take a breath, he hung up, slamming the phone onto the table, groaning and thunking his head down next to it.
"Minion, why did you tell her I wanted to attend that ribbon-cutting ceremony?" His voice was slightly muffled due to the fact he had half his face mashed into his desk.
"Sorry sir. I thought you were saying yes with those actions." He rubbed the back of his tank sheepishly with one of his gorilla-cyborg hands, much as a human would scratch the back of their neck in embarrassment.
Megamind sighed. "It's alright Minion." He lifted his head, dropping it heavily into his hands, elbows propped up on the desk. "Come to think of it, though, I don't really get the whole ribbon-cutting procedure in the first place. What difference does cutting a ribbon make on whether a new building is open or not? It's not like it's impossible for people to go inside with the ribbon there. They could just duck under or jump over it." One hand started randomly gesturing as his monologue got more heated. His head tilted slightly to the side to better balance in his other hand. "And why is it still called ribbon-cutting in this city, anyway? They've had years of Metro Man just blasting through the ribbons with his laser beams, and I do much the same with my ray guns. Why don't they just call it a ribbon-blasting ceremony? That sounds much more exciting anyway."
"It certainly does, sir, but perhaps they feel that 'blasting' and 'ceremony' don't go all that well in the same sentence," Minion offered.
"That's true enough." He froze as another thought came to him. "Minion, how would that woman have gotten my number?"
"From the phone directory, of course." He said it like it was obvious.
"Why is it in the phone directory?"
One of his cyborg gorilla hands twitched towards the back of his tank again and he smiled nervously. "Um, I thought it might be handy, in case Miss Ritchie forgot it or something?"
"Minion!" he moaned. "What with all those sav- I mean fans, the calls would start flooding in! Please don't tell me you put it in as a picture ad?"
"No sir, just a number and a name," he replied, happy he had at least hadn't done that wrong.
"Good. All the same, could you get it taken out?"
He hesitated a moment. "I'll do my best, sir." He didn't want to mention the fact that it would take a while for a new, corrected phonebook to come out. Then he had a better idea. "Sir? Wouldn't it be easier to just get your number changed?"
"Yes, yes, do that." Megamind yawned standing. He almost immediately collapsed. Minion rushed forward to catch him, and with concern noticed faint dark rings underneath his eyes. He'd only ever seen rings under his eyes like that a few times before, and it had only been after working on something for several days without rest. It was different than with humans; whatever race Megamind was, they could survive easily on very little sleep. However, if he went too long without enough sleep, he would crash severely. Once, he'd slept for almost a week, and Minion had to spoon-feed him lukewarm soup the entire time.
"Sir!" he asked anxiously. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, yes, I'm fine," he muttered, shakily trying to stand.
"Sir," he adopted a parental tone, "when was the last time you slept? Properly?"
Megamind shrugged, which only served to make him dizzy again, weakening his legs.
"Sir!" Minion exclaimed, scandalised. "You're going to go to bed, right now." So saying, he scooped the tired blue alien into his arms and carried him to the opposite side of the Lair, where the newly-installed bedroom was.
When Roxanne had found out that Megamind almost always slept in his swivel chair, she went into a rage, berating him on how bad it was for his posture. He quickly agreed to have a bedroom built into the lab, if only to stop her rants, but he had to admit sleeping on a bed was far more comfortable than his chair. Minion opened the door and gently placed his boss down on the cerulean sheets covering the black metal four-poster bed. He sighed, settling into the bed and closing his eyes.
"Uh, sir?" Megamind cracked open one eye. "Aren't you going to get changed into your pyjamas?"
"Oh yes, of course." Minion nodded, but stayed where he was. After a pause, he added, "Which would be a little awkward with you watching me." The alien fish nodded inside his tank – seeing as it was impossible to nod the tank itself – and ambled out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Megamind deftly changed into his blue 'evil' pyjamas – he would've thrown them out, but they were just so comfortable – and crawled under the doona, falling into a deep sleep almost instantly.
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A/N: Well, here's chapter one, hope you enjoyed! Sorry it's short, I just wanted to get this chapter up today and figured this was as good a place as any to stop. I'll try to get the next chapter ready for tomorrow or the day after, but with my talent for procrastination I can't promise anything. :P
Anyway, please tell me what you thought. I'm most worried that I didn't keep them in character enough, because I've only seen the movie once (can't wait until it comes out on DVD on 22nd February!), so let me know if you think that's the case, and if it's not too much to ask, a few pointers as to how I could improve. :) Thank you in advance to all those that review!