Ahahaha...no comment. ¬_¬

^_^ Final chapter. It is a three shot after all...and this is the third shot...so...yeeeeaaah...


Rain can be so beautiful sometimes. The way the small droplets stream down a window, creating an intricate web of water is a sight to behold for sure.

And it can reflect ones mood perfectly sometimes.

A wet, constantly moving web.

One filled with either beauty and cleansing.

Or one that is stormy and uncharted and untamed. A jumble of emotions squashed together into a tear drop before they are released and sent spraying across a surface.

Oh man...

Here I am, a proud Uchiha, and I'm spewing out emo poetry about the rain.

If that isn't a sign of the end of the world...well, wait...this isn't the first time it's happened actually...

Guess the world will survive for another day.

Okay, let me clear things up a bit, since I'm going to confuse myself soon if I don't.

It's been three days since I went to see Tsunade.

I have been holed up at home through that entire time.

It's not that I'm hiding...I just don't feel like facing anyone at the moment.

After all, finding out that the pain in my chest was heartache at seeing my best friend and secret-even to me- crush with another is something that I don't really want people inquiring over. And I just know both Sakura and Kakashi will be nosy about it. They knew I was planning on seeing Tsunade, so they'll inquire.

It's just human nature.

But I don't want to have to deal with their questions.

Especially not if Naruto is there too.

God forbid.

But this is hard for me!

I find out, not by myself, but rather with the help of an old lady who disguises her true age that I actually am gay, and not only just gay, but also gay for my best friend, who happens to be gay for someone else!

Give me sympathy.

I demand it!



Dammit...there it is again.

That annoying ache in my chest.


I miss him.





I am an Uchiha! And Uchiha's do not mope around!


Don't say a word, you cretins!


So Naruto doesn't like me that way!

So what?

We weren't going out before, so why should it change now I know about his preferences!


It shouldn't!

I can still hang out with him!

I can still be his best friend!

Screw Hyuuga...no wait, I don't want to do that.

That's Naruto's job...



I just hurt myself.

Way to go, Sasuke! Why don't you grab a kunai and slice your throat while you're at it?

Ha ha.

I made a funny again...


I'm not laughing.


Fuck I'm such a mess.

I think I drank a bit too much last night too. I can barely remember half the shit I did.

My head is ringing!

And pounding!

I can hear this constant banging sound in my skull!



Oh wait, that's my door...



Who could be visiting at this time?


I'll just leave it.

Whoever it is will go away soon enough.





"Teme open the door!"

No thanks, I think I'll just curl under my covers and sob for a bit.

"Sasuke! Please!"


Hang on...

Why does he sound...like he's crying?



Something's not right...

I'd better answer the door...






...Someone is going to die.

"Sasuke? I-I'm sorry for coming here so l-late but..."

Someone is going to die slowly and painfully...

"I-I just really n-needed to talk to s-someone! And you're my b-best friend!"

And that person is most likely a pale eyed, long haired son of a prick.

"Naruto, what happened? Why are you crying?"

Okay, first let me lead him to the couch.

Maybe some tea?

Or coffee?

"I-I'm sorry Sasuke!"

Such an idiot.

"Dobe. There's no need to apologize. Now tell me what happened."

Tell me who to kill!

Or torture?



Both are always a good option!

"W-well I was with N-Neji earlier..."

Oh here we go...

"And t-then he said we needed to talk..."

It's always a 'talk'. Everything always starts with a 'talk'.


Fucking 'talks' suck.

"So when I asked h-him what was wrong he s-said...he said that...we should b-break up!"

YAY! Now I shall take you for myself!



That was mean...

Even I admit that was a mean thought.

After all, Naruto really liked him...

Why he liked him, I don't know, since I am so much more awesome than Hyuuga.

I mean, I've got the whole tall, dark and handsome thing going for me!

What does Hyuuga have?

Pale eyes and long hair.

Like a woman.


And the definition of gay is liking the same gender.

And since I have showered with Naruto and seen him naked, I know he is a man!

Just like me!

Therefore, his infatuation with Neji was completely irrational...


Shit! If Neji was a woman, then does that mean that Naruto isn't gay after all?


That means that I'm the homosexual, and I'M the one with the secret crush that's going to have to come out of the closet all over again!

Oh come on, this is so not-

"Sasuke? Are you listening?"


Oh... he was still talking?



"Hn. Of course I was."

"Oh really? Then what was I saying?"

...What was he saying?

Okay, re-cap...

"You went to talk to Neji and he dumped you, and now you want me to find him and slowly torture him before killing him in a very slow, very painful way."

Yep, that sounds about right.



"...You do realize you-"

"Yes, I put words in your mouth. Sue me."

Well, this must be a step in the right direction. He's laughing.

And they say laughter is the best medicine!



No wonder I'm always feeling sick of everything!

I obviously need to laugh more.


Ha ha.

I made yet another funny!

I should get on stage at this rate.

"Sasuke, you always know what to say to make me feel better."

That's because I am awesome.


"Tch, always the same. What does that even mean?.!"

The 'Hn' is a way to show that I'm badass.

That's why Hyuuga can't do it.

Or Rock Lee.

Or anyone else...


I'm the Lone Badass.




"Again? I swear, that's all you do! Hn!...Hey it's actually kind of fun!"

Was he used as a football when he was a baby? Seriously?



Getting Naruto riled up is most definitely on my favourite past time list. It's just so easy and so fun!

And rewarding!

I mean, not only does he do that weird grumble thing, but he pouts and acts like a complete kid.

It's hilarious.


And...dare I say...



If I was a fan girl, I'd be wiggling on the spot, with my hands on my cheeks and squealing.


Wow, that is some horrific imagery.

Thank God I'm not a fan girl!

"Hey Sasuke...Is there someone you like?"



Shit. What should I tell him?

I mean...it's so soon after he broke up with Neji, if I tell him that I am, apparently, in love with him, it might turn out bad.

He might blame me for the break up!

And this time it wasn't my fault at all!


Not really...

I'm sure the few threatening letters I sent to Neji had no part in his decision to leave Naruto...


Oh yes.

I went there.

It wasn't planned! I did say that I drank a bit too much the other night.

"Hello, Sasuke? Are you feeling okay? You keep spacing out! And that's my job, remember?"

He's such an idiot.

But a cute idiot.


What the hell is wrong with me?

Oh that's right...I'm sick.




Did I just...?

Oh God I did...

I need therapy! I need a lawyer! I need a priest!

I need...I need...

I need beer!

"Hn. Dobe, wait here."

"Uh, okay."

Run Uchiha run! The liquid amnesia calls to you!

Ugh, hopefully this will help me figure things out...



It can't be...

"Sasuke? What's taking you so long?"

Quiet fool! I'm in the middle of mourning!


"What is it this time?"

It's terrible, Naruto. It's horrendous! It's unthinkable! It's absolutely tragic and horrific, inconceivable and unbelievable!

"Sasuke, what's the matter?"

Oh it's so bad...it's worse than bad...it's a disaster!

"...I'm out of beer..."






"...That's it? You're out of beer? That's what's so sad?"

Why the nonchalant tone? Does he not understand the severity of this situation?.!

I mean...I've got no beer!

I've ALWAYS got beer!

So why is my fridge void of those cans of goodness?.!



I know who to blame for this atrocity!

The reason why I have a beer-less fridge in my home...

Is because of HYUUGA!

Yes, it must be his fault!

Everything is Hyuuga's fault!

"Naruto, I'll be right back."

Quick, slave, bring me my mallet! I'm going to go smash a screw into a wall! (a/n: 'Neji' translated is 'Screw')

"What? Where are you going!.?"



"Through my front door and beyond."

Grab the kunai, grab the shoes, and grab those badass sunglasses...

Oh wait, it's evening...

Okay, forget the sunglasses.

"How long will you be, teme?"

Oh, that all depends on how thick Hyuuga's bone structure is...thinner the bone, quicker the time it takes to break it.

"Not long."

Hyuuga Neji, your skinny physique is going to be your downfall!

The Lone Badass is on his way over!


I need a theme song.

Stride that stuff! Sway those hips!

Look intimidating!

Oh hell yeah, the sneer always works!

That's right little man, run away!

You too grandma, cower before the badass that is me!

Man, the Hyuuga complex is pretty big! I've been striding through it for ages and I've yet to find the pale-eyed pansy!


Well, the right one, anyway.

Man, what's so great about having long hair with these people? Surely it must get in the way!

I mean, don't they use that weird spinny technique? How can they stand to have their long hair swatting them in the face every time they spin right round when they go down?



You spin me right round, baby, right round, when you go down, when you go down, down!

Ha ha, I bet you thought I didn't know that song!

Well surprise, surprise! Even I listen to that kind of music every now and then.


Is that the main house?


These people are amateurs!

My house is way bigger than-

Oh, that's just the entrance hall...

The rest of the house is...



Okay, so they're not completely pathetic.

Those solid gold beams are...reasonably impressive...

I'm sure my family could have had those if we had wanted...



"Uchiha? What brings you he-"


"You bastard!"

"-cough- What is the meaning of this, Uchiha?"

"You know damn well!"

You stole my beer, you jerk!


Oh yeah, and you hurt Naruto...

That too.

"...Is this revenge for Naruto?"

No it's revenge for my lack of beer! And my lack of a sex life!

And anything else I happen to lack...well, that can be your fault too!

"Why did you dump him? He wasn't good enough for your stuck up ass?.!"

Ha! If anything, it's the other way around! Naruto is way too good for your pansy ass!

"I assure you, it's nothing like that. I simply didn't feel the same way, and didn't see the point in continuing something one-sided."

Oh, you think you're so smart with your cool logic and reasoning don't you, dick-weed?

Well guess what!

"You bastard! You couldn't even give it an honest try?.! He really liked you dammit! He's such an honest, kind hearted, loving guy, and yet you're not even going to try to hold onto him at the slightest sign of things looking a bit sour?"


"He's always caring for others, and working his ass off to keep everyone else happy! He deserves a little bit of his own happiness!"


"And dammit! As much as I hate to admit it, when he was with you, he was actually happy!"

"No he wasn't. If you truly believe that our relationship was all sunshine and rainbows and great sex, then you're sadly mistaken."


What was that last one?





I'm going to kill him.


"We were under constant pressure from my family, which doesn't feel too proud to have me in a relationship with another male, and they were constantly nagging us about it. Also, we have less in common than we thought. Our conversations and dates would be bathed in silence more than there was actual talk."

"But he's upset! He fucking came to my house in tears!"

"And I regret that he feels pain, however, I know that it is more a subconscious obligation of his. He doesn't truly love me. In fact, I am quite certain that his love lies with another."


Are you serious?

"...Are you serious?"


"You think he is in love with someone else?"

"Yes I do. He's just taking a long time to realize it. He is an idiot after all."

I can't argue there...but still...

Naruto's in love with someone other than Neji?

If that's true then...

Who is it?

Who am I competing against now?


"...Who does he love?"

"You mean you haven't figured it out for yourself?.!"

Oh come on! Not another 'you-poor-ignorant-man' look!

I am really starting to get sick of those!

Why is it always me?

Okay wait, focus...

So Naruto loves someone...

And I'm supposed to have known about it by now...

So then that means...

"...It's Kiba, isn't it?"

"What? Uchiha, Kiba isn't even gay, is he?"

"He's bi-sexual."

"Huh. You learn something new every day."

That's what I said!

Now, not only do you steal my beer, my best friend, my crush, but also my lines?.!

You Hyuuga's have no boundaries for your nefarious deeds!

"So if it's not Kiba, then who is it?"

"..You really don't know?"

If I knew, I wouldn't be here, gripping your shirt and holding you in the air, now would I?


Well, I probably would...

But that's beside the point.

"Just tell me dammit!"

"You're an idiot, Uchiha. It's you!"







"Oh for...Uchiha, Naruto loves you!"









Doing mental victory dance...

Process completed.

"...You're serious? He l-loves me?"

"Yes! I can't believe you haven't seen it sooner! I assumed that you weren't gay, and that's why you were ignoring it."

Oh well Hyuuga just knows everything doesn't he?


But hang on, that's not the point!

Naruto loves me! My secret crush loves me!

And, I feel the same for him!



And he's alone at my house.



"I...I got to go!"

"Yes, sure, whatever. Can you kindly put me down now?"

"Huh? Oh, right."

"So, what is your plan now?"

Go home and fuck that fox!



I'm such a dirty boy.

"I'm going to talk to Naruto."

Yes...talk...a nice long talk...

Heh heh...

"You look like you're planning something sinister, Uchiha."

Give the psychic a medal.


"Try not to scare him. As you well know, he can be painfully innocent at times."

Oh shit he's right. Naruto is not only an oblivious idiot, but he's also an innocent one.


That's going to put a damper on my sexual fantasies for the time being.

"Hn. I know all that."

"Well then, please fuck off now. You're trespassing."


But he's right. I've got more important things to do!

Like going home and persuading Naruto that, since we both have this weird feeling called love for each other, that we should get together and have hot manly man-sex.


Or something like that.


Why am I not freaking out over the fact that I've gone completely gay for my best friend in the span of three months?

I guess Uchiha's really are awesome at everything. Including adapting to new view on their sexual orientation.

Although, I suppose in my case, I have a 'Narutorientation'.

Ha ha ha!


Bad Sasuke.

Keep away from the pathetically bad jokes on your orientation.

Okay, here we are, back home.

Truly, it is where the heart is. I can feel mine beating a lot faster than usual.


Shit, I hope this love stuff doesn't cause me to go into cardiac arrest.


Is that why so many people have heart attacks? Because they're actually in love and are experiencing this?


That would suck.



Where is he?


No way. Did he leave?

Did he actually have the gall to get his ass off my couch, get his shoes off my floor and get his future uke ass out of my front door?


Well fuck, that just makes everything shitty.


Of all the rotten luck to give me! I swear, there's some higher power out there that has it in for me! Why do I always have to deal with stuff not going my way? First it was my family, then it was my strength, then it was my leaving, then it was my power, then it was my friend being a straight guy, then it was my hidden emotions, and now it's my love not being where he's supposed to be! On my couch!

Or underneath me, moaning.


Wow. I'm a pervert.

Who knew?

Oh well, everyone has skeletons in their closets.


I literally do. It was a stray rat that used to live under my bed.

I called him Joey. He lived a good life.

Well, he did right up until that fateful night I had to piss and didn't look where I was walking while he was out for his nightly stroll.

He was quite the fat rat.


Shit, Naruto's short attention span has gotten to me! How did I go from ranting over his absence, to perverts to my old friend Joey?

Something is wrong with the world.

Well...I suppose I should just go to bed. It's really getting late now, and no doubt Naruto isn't at home. He'll most likely be wandering the village. He does that when he wants to think.

Or, I suppose, more accuratley, when he wants to give himself a major headache attempting what most people find easy.

Better go upstairs and change.


What's that sound?


Humming? Or singing of some type?

Wait...who's humming in my house?


Why is someone humming in my house in the first place? Uchiha houses are not humming houses! My family may have been gifted in a lot of things, but the most singing we ever did was in the shower, and even then it was low and out of tone and something we kept a well-known secret from each other.

So why, may I ask, is there some stupid moron sitting in my bedroom humming some random tune that sounds very much like that 'Ramen' song that Naruto made up when he was a kid...


Naruto's sitting in my bedroom humming.


Because that's normal. Oh yeah, very normal.



"Oh! Sasuke, you're back! Uh, sorry...I was just bored so I thought I'd walk around and I just ended up in your bedroom."

Oh, did you? Mmm, I'm sure you'll find yourself 'ending up' in my bedroom quite often.


"Teme. Where'd you go anyway?"

Originally to kill Hyuuga and get beer...OH SHIT!

"Oh shit!"


"I forgot to buy beer."

Why's he laughing? I fail to see what is so amusing about this tragedy! I forgot the beer! That is like...devastating!

I should be shot!


Put the guns down, people, Kishimoto will not forgive you if you shoot me.

I've got a contract.

Anyway, back to this world!

"Dobe, stop laughing."

"I'm sorry it's just...hahaha! You really need to slow down on the beer. You drink it way too much."

Too much beer?

Bah! Heathen!

How dare he mock my nectar of forgetting?

I'll have to reform him somehow.

But that comes later. For now, it's time to see if what Hyuuga said was true or not. If he was lying, I'm going to rip his lungs out through his ass and then feed them to him with an exploding kunai.

"Naruto...we need to talk."

Ah yes, everything starts and ends with a talk.

"What about?"

About the fact that I want to bang you.

"About...something important."

"...Great work on the vague factor. Care to elaborate on what is important?"

I want to use your thighs as earmuffs. Wink wink!

"It's important."

"Is it really important?"

As important as my need to see you naked.

"Dobe, don't make me hit you."

Because damn, I want to hit that!

"You wouldn't hit me."

Wanna bet?

"Dobe. I'm being serious."

"When are you ever not serious?"

When you're riding me like a rabid cowboy.

"Please, let's just talk."

"Holy shit, did you just say 'please'?"

I'll say a lot more if you beg me.

"Yes. Now sit down, shut up and listen!"

And take off your clothes. They're not really necessary.

"Okay, geez!...So what's so very important?"







"...Sasuke? What's important that you need to talk to me about?"


What do I do?

What do I say?

How do I say it?


"...Teme, if you're not going to even say anything then why-"


"I love you!"




Here it comes...the moment of truth!


...Or not..

"...I said...I love you."

Ha ha.

Heavy silences make me heady. Ahahahaha...

Insert 'I've-gone-insane' face here.

"S-Sasuke...are you s-serious?"

"Hn. 'When am I ever not serious?'"

Using his own words against him! Fuck yeah!

"B-But...I thought you were straight! I mean...when did this happen? Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

Maybe because I only found out myself a short while ago.

"I wasn't sure that what I felt was love...I didn't even know it until a short while ago. And isn't it obvious why I didn't say anything? You were with Neji, and you seemed happy, so I kept my mouth shut."

Because, of course, it's not like I only figured out that I was both gay and in love with you three days ago.

No, not at all.

"Sasuke...I...I don't know what to say..."

How about 'Take me!'?

"If you'd like some time, I understand. You've just gone through a break up after all. I didn't really mean to lay this on you now."

No, I wanted to lay something else on you entirely. It's called 'Little Sasuke'.


"Just think about it...I know it might seem crazy, but I do love you. However, if you don't feel the same, I understand. We'll sort something out eventually."

But no matter what you say, I'm seme. Let me just clarify that now. Me. Seme. You. Uke. End of story.

"Sasuke...Sasuke I don't...really know. It's true that I was with Neji but...even before the break up I'd been feeling that it...wasn't really right, you know? I mean, I was upset when he dumped me, but...after a while, while you were gone, I thought about it and realized I wasn't actually that upset."

This is good.

"And...even before then, I'd been finding that the time I spent with you was really the best. Even before, I cherished all the moments I spent with you. You're my best friend...you've always been important. You've always been the most important."

If only he knew how much those words apply to me to. I cherish every memory with Naruto. Even before I discovered my love and seemingly insatiable lust for him, I considered him my most important friend. He saved me in so many ways.

He really is my world.

And it really took me so long to realize just how much he meant to me?


Seems even Uchiha's can be blind to the most obvious things.

"Sasuke...I think...I think I love you too."

He looks absolutely adorable with that blushing, confused, 'I'm-totally-unsure-if-I'm-saying-the-right-thing-but-hell-it's-too-late-now' kind of face.

Ah, I'm smiling aren't I?

But I just can't help it. And besides, it's Naruto.

He has every right to see the things he does to me.

"Dobe...Since when do you 'think' about anything?"

Ha ha. I couldn't resist.

It's just a natural thing with us.


He's pouting again! I love making him pout! He always gets all flustered when I outsmart him. I just want to hug him.


Hey wait, I can do that now, can't I?


"Ah! Sasuke!"

"Shut up Dobe, don't spoil the moment."

"But since when do you hug?"

Since I found that Teddy Bear in one of the old nursery's and decided to give it a try.

"Since now."

Hi, my name is Sasuke, and I'm a liar. It's a pleasure to meet you all! (That was a lie, by the way.)

He feels so warm in my arms. I could really get used to this.

It's truly amazing how much can change in such a short time. All you need is to be given another perspective on things, and everything is thrown for a loop. You see so much more than you did. So many new possibilities and so many new doors are opened, while some might be closed off. I never once imagined that my best friend would be my true love.

And yes, I add the word true because I have never, ever felt this way for anyone else. Not even the few girls that I have dated- bad memories, go away!- ever brought out the feeling I have when I'm near Naruto.

He is my sun. He is my world.

As sappy as I sound, it's the only way I can think to describe it.

I really want to make this work.

I just know that we'll be happy.

"Sasuke...where are your hands going?"

And I'm sure the sex is going to be amazing!

"Nowhere suspicious..."

"Teme, get your hands off my ass! We just confessed, we're not together yet!"

Ah, the melodious sound of my sexual dreams shattering into a million tiny pieces.

"Haven't you ever heard of rebound sex?"

Is that a flicker of shining hope I see?

"Teme! I'm not going to have rebound sex with you!"

Nope. Just another one of my dreams going up in flames.

Never mind.


"TEME! You're such a pervert!"

Yeah, it's shocking isn't it. I was surprised myself.

"Only over you."

God forbid anyone else cause 'Little Sasuke' to look up. That would just be horrifying.

But he's smiling. I'm glad I'm able to make him smile. I'm glad that he saves those small, sincere smiles just for me. I'm glad I see those blinding, stupid smiles. I'm glad I see him cry, and laugh and shriek and whisper.

I'm glad he's here with me now.

"I'm glad...that you were born."


And above all...

"I love you, Naruto."

"I...I love you too, Sasuke."

Above all... I'm glad that you dragged me out of my comfort zone to tell me that you're gay all that time ago.

Even if it wasn't in my job description, it's alright.

Because I'm glad I got to fall in love with you.

Ah, Sasuke's a big softie at heart...and a total pervert. XD

Hope you enjoyed this absolute randomness!

Reviews would be loved and cuddled and well looked after, so please feel free to give as many as you want! They'll go to a good home! :3

Later everyone!