Kenta: This single-chapter fanfic was created from a moment in MajinHentaiX's fanfic 'Naruto: Game of the Year Edition'. Chapter fourteen had Sasuke doped up on drugs, acting like the funniest pervert I have ever read. And so this story was born.
Credit goes to, of course, MHX, and Sasuke, who unknowingly has become the star of this story.
"Don't worry Sasuke! You're gonna make it!" Sakura Haruno yelled, tears falling from her eyes like a river.
"'Tebbayo! Sakura, quit worrying! Of course he's gonna make it! I still have to kick his butt! There's no way he's goin' six feet under!" Naruto Uzumaki tried to loudly comfort his pink-haired teammate.
Sasuke Uchiha would have glared at the two for screaming in his ears if he wasn't in such pain. He had saved Naruto's sorry ass again by throwing him away from an obvious trap and getting caught up in a letter bomb. Now he was on a stupid gurney getting rolled into the emergency room. He could still hear Naruto and Sakura yelling after him telling him he had to 'get better' as the doors closed. He was rolled into a room that was swarmed with doctors yet all he wanted to do now was twitch his eye. Badly. He was thriving in pain and yet the doctors were arguing over who would get the honor of treating him. Helloo? HE WAS FREAKING IN PAIN HERE! Luckily a nurse noticed this and took a needle before poking it into his arm, making his pain increase before it slowly began to die down. His eyes started to droop as he drifted into unconsciousness.
When he next woke up, he could hear...moaning? His head felt so cloudy, like he was in a great big haze. He felt his eyes lazily turn to the side, his head not responding to his command. He saw two figures off to the side next to each other, one of them moving slightly. He heard the funny sound again before he heard them. Words. Small, happy little things that bounced around in his head. Wheeeee...
"Mmm! Wait," The nurse said panting.
Sasuke heard something about 'not here', followed by something that sounded like 'home' and 'private'. What were these funny things he was hearing? Wait, how was he hearing? He felt some things on each side of his head flop up and down. He giggled as the sound of a door closing touched the things on the sides of his head again. The horny doctor and nurse exited the room, not realizing that the nurse had left the morphine treatment given to the Uchiha to keep giving him the drug. The haze that the Uchiha had felt was only the beginning, for the next morning, when Sasuke Uchiha was (somehow) discharged from the hospital, the world was about to witness something they had not seen for more than seven years...
Sasuke Uchiha walked on a path away from the hospital with a smile on his face. The sun shone brightly, the birds were chirping, and to Sasuke, everything was happy and colorful. To Hinata Hyuuga, everything was miserable. Her father would not even supervise her training anymore, she couldn't find Naruto anywhere, and worse yet, her little sister Hanabi had been acting like an arrogant snot-nosed little brat again. She sighed as she turned a corner and was surprised to see Sasuke Uchiha.
"Ah!" She squeaked.
The Uchiha turned to her before smiling brightly, something that didn't fit right on the Uchiha. "Hinata! How are you doing? How's Neji? Have you been able to get Naruto's attention yet?" He asked as he walked over to the Hyuuga heiress, not being able to walk in a straight line and instead swerving left and right.
Hinata blushed a bright scarlet red. "Ah! H-h-h-h-how d-d-d-did y-y-you n-n-n-n-know I l-l-l-like N-N-N-Naruto?" She squeaked out miserably.
Sasuke, having fallen into a wall and now using it to hold himself upright, (sorta) narrowed his eyes comically at her. "What? You like Naruto?" He suddenly clapped his fist into his hand as he pushed off from the wall with his shoulder, wobbling back and forth again. "I KNEW IT!" He smiled as if he had solved the greatest mystery in the world, Hinata having turned even redder at having told the Uchiha herself that she liked his teammate. Sasuke suddenly narrowed his eyes again. "You know..." He suddenly grabbed Hinata's breasts before squeezing them a few times. "If you stopped wearing this heavy jacket, you COULD get his attention..." Hinata reflexively slapped his hands away, the Uchiha staring at his hands, twitching them before smiling. "D-cup...heehee. Boobies." The Uchiha giggled perversly to himself as he wobbled back down the road, a crimson Hinata being left in his wake.
Sasuke smiled as his legs were doing lots of funny things. One would go up, then down and then the other leg would go up and then down before the other leg repeated itself. As Sasuke reached a different part of the village he suddenly thought of something. "How am I walking? What is walking? And how am I moving my legs?" Suddenly somehow forgetting how to use his legs, the Uchiha flopped down on his face in front of a store. One of the store tendants, a young girl with blonde hair, suddenly noticed the Uchiha fall flat on his face outside of the shop.
"Sasuke-kun!" Ino Yamanaka raced outside of her family's flower shop before kneeling down beside the Uchiha. The Uchiha rolled onto his back, staring up into the pretty blue sky when a head popped into his line of sight.
"You..." Sasuke tried to focus his eyes on the face. It seemed familiar."You're..." Ino nearly squealed, hoping he would say her name. "Funny looking..." the girl deflated before Sasuke suddenly touched her face with both hands, making it heat up.
'Oh my god, Sasuke-kun's touching me! Maybe I'll finally get my first kiss!' The blonde's cheeks went aflame as the thought entered her mind. It quickly died however as he suddenly grabbed her face before making wierd faces.
"HAHAHAHAA! FUNNY FACES!" The Uchiha laughed hysterically before Ino pulled back, her face red, but not from excitement. Sasuke suddenly pulled himself upright with only his feet, something most people would have trouble with, before turning towards Ino. Said kunoichi flushed as Sasuke suddenly groped her chest with a smile on his face saying "Beep beep! You're a car!" The Uchiha then wobbled down the street once more, his hands waving back and forth as he himself wobbled back and forth. Ino's face turned redder as she heard Sasuke say "Bee-Bee cup!"
"AUGH! THIS THING IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF!" Anko Mitarashi threw a small electronic device onto the ground, breaking it to pieces. She stomped on the now ruined Dual Screen handheld videogame before grinding it further into the ground with her foot.
"AAAHHH! NOOOOO!" A voice suddenly screamed behind the special Jonin, making her jump slightly. When she turned around she found a horrified Sasuke staring at her feet. He suddenly rushed forward, tackling her off of the gameboy before scrambling back to the machine. "Master! Master! SPEAK TO ME!" The Uchiha burst into tears as he picked up a few of the mutilated pieces and holding them close his his heart. Anko, however, didn't like the fact that she had been tackled by this crybaby and was just about to maul him when he suddenly turned around, a pissed off look on his face. "YOU! YOU DESTROYED MASTER! YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!" The woman was about to blow him off, but the boy suddenly jumped up before flipping through six handsigns and inhaling deeply while bringing a hand to his mouth.
'He wouldn't...' Anko thought in shock. The Uchiha suddenly blasted a large fireball towards the woman, making her jump onto the roof of a building as she watched the large fireball fly down the crowded street, making random people run around with their hair, clothes, etc. caught on fire. (PIKMIN!) 'He would...' Sasuke continued to blast fireball after fireball at Anko, making her run from the doped up Uchiha and his fireballs of redemption. The chase of redemption led them to the forest, where Anko realized her last jump wouldn't get her over the fence. She threw out a kunai-like grappling hook towards one of the larger trees, and pulled herself over the fence. Smirking happily, she didn't realize that the Uchiha was in the air right next to her. She began to sweat slightly as he suddenly clapped his hands together before pulling them apart, revealing shiny ninja wire. The next thing Anko knew, she was hanging upside-down from a tree, completely tied up, much like a blonde-haired ninja had once been, only worse.
Sasuke walked slowly towards Anko, his bangs covering his eyes as his headband was not on at the moment. "W-wait kid! Stop! You'll regret this!" She was not used to being in this sort of position, the last time being when she had bet Kakashi she could beat him in a game of capture the ninja, and Kakashi had once used a kunai to cut open her mesh shirt before squeazing her boobs. The young Uchiha stared at Anko before tilting his head to the side.
"Hey miss...why are you all tied up?" Sasuke asked with a completely serious face. Anko stared at him for a few seconds before blowing up.
"Why the hell am I like this? WHY THE HELL AM I LIKE THIS? YOU'RE THE FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO TIED ME UP IN THE FIRST PLACE! YOU SHOT A FRICKIN' SHITLOAD OF FIREBALLS AT ME EARLIER AND NOW YOU'RE ASKING ME THIS SHIT?" The Special Jonin raged on before Sasuke put a hand on her mouth. He had the sort of angry look you would see on a little five year-old.
"You're saying a lot of bad words...You need to be spanked." Anko flushed before she began to rage more. Her face turned bright red as she was suddenly spun around before feeling a hand slap her across the ass. Her being tied up and not touching the ground made her spin around. "ACK! KNOCK IT OFF YOU FUCKIN' JACKASS!" SLAP! "AH! STOP IT YOU LITTLE FUCKER!" SLAP!
Sasuke continued to spank the special Jonin, making her spin around and around before noticing something wet was in between her legs. He nearly poked at it, but the lady suddenly started spinning back around, her eyes spinning around in circles. Sasuke's eyes suddenly sparkled in excitement before he kneeled in front of the dizzy and aroused woman. He pulled out a kunai before cutting open the parts of her mesh shirt around her breasts before squeazing them repeatedly. "WHEE! HONK! HONK!" He giggled happily. Anko only moaned in pleasure. "YAY! HAPPY C-CUP!" The boy giggled again before walking back towards the village, a happy smile on his face.
As the young, high and perverse Uchiha walked away, the upside-down Anko heard footsteps off to the side. Kakashi stared at her for a moment before raising an eyebrow. "Wow, didn't know you were into that stuff Anko."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Sasuke giggled as he continued to walk through the village. Everything spun around so colorfully! The Uchiha looked to the side to see he was at a lake in the largest park of the village. Turning further to the side, he saw a lady with purple hair. She seemed familiar...like he had seen her before. Sasuke smiled as he remembered where before walking over to her in his oh-so wobbly fashion. "SITTING BABY!" He called out to her, making the woman look up in shock.
Yuugao Uzuki was relaxing in Konoha's largest park, finally being able to take a break from her ANBU duties. She had only been relaxing for five minutes on her blanket when she heard someone shout out something along the lines of 'sitting baby' or some nonsense. Looking around, she found Sasuke Uchiha, the last Uchiha of the village, walking very unsteadily towards her, a smile on his face the likes of which she hadn't seen since before the Uchiha massacre. She then realized that he had called her the 'sitting baby'.
"Ummm...were you...talking to me?" Yuugao asked uneasily. Sasuke merely face-planted himself onto her lap, smiling like an idiot. The ANBU ninja nearly threw him into the lake, but he suddenly looked up before shouting out, once more,
"SITTING BABY!" The ANBU member resisted the urge to strangle the boy before asking in a very strained voice,
"What are you talking about?" The Uchiha pouted like a four year old.
"Come on! You used to sit on me all the time! Remember? When I was four and a sixty-eighth years old? Daddy would always pay you for it too!" Yuugao then realized that 'Sitting Baby' actually meant 'Baby Sitter' and relaxed a bit. She had often been asked by the Uchiha clan to babysit Sasuke, as her genin team had an Uchiha on it. She nodded her head in understanding, but Sasuke continued to stare at a certain spot in-between her legs.
"What are you doing?" She asked, a small blush forming on her face.
Sasuke suddenly looked up, a dead serious expression on his face. His eyes burned with certainty as he announced, "You have no panties on!" SLAP! Sasuke continued to stare at Yuugao even as an angry red handprint was embedded onto his face. The Uchiha blinked before he reached out and started squeazing her chest with a smile on his face. "YAY! ANOTHER C-CUP!" The Uchiha suddenly sat up before he clapped his hands like a seal and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Yuugao stared into the cloud of smoke, her face red before reaching a hand up to her chest. She then fumed as she packed up her things before going to report a doped up Uchiha to the Hokage.
Tenten Higurashi panted as Neji Hyuuga moved away from her, completely unexhausted. "H-how, can, you, do that?" She panted, her face flushed with exhaustion. The Hyuuga merely grunted.
"Hmph. I need more of a workout. I need to increase MY stamina, not yours." The Hyuuga walked away as Tenten flopped onto the ground panting. Neji quirked an eyebrow as a smiling, wobbling Sasuke stumbled past him saying "HI NEJI!" The Hyuuga merely shook his head before heading back home from the training field. Sasuke turned to the kunoichi on the ground before gasping.
"TENTEN! YOU'RE TIRED!"
The girl sat up before glaring at the Uchiha. "No shit sherlock..." She grumbled. The Uchiha sat down in front of her before tilting his head to the side. "What?" Tenten asked, a bit wierded out by the Uchiha staring at her so intently.
"I'm trying to undress you with my eyes...but I can't figure out what color your underwear is...blue?" He put a hand to his chin in contemplation.
Tenten blushed before growling at the boy. "YOU DON'T ASK A GIRL THINGS LIKE THAT!" She nearly threw a kunai at him, but he was suddenly right in her face.
"But I wanna know!" He suddenly gasped. "I GOT IT! I'LL FIGHT YOU FOR IT!" He suddenly smiled brightly, a twinkle in his teeth. Tenten shuddered. He almost reminded her of Gai and Lee. A horrifying thought appeared in her head.
'What if...what if he turns into another Gai or Lee? NO! I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN!' The girl glared at the Uchiha. "Fine, but if I win you have to do what I say! Uchiha's honor and all!" She grinned on the inside. She had seen him walking up to her, he couldn't even walk straight meaning he was on some kind of powerful medicine. Sasuke smiled brightly before shaking his head up and down rapidly.
Tenten held her head, groaning in pain while Sasuke merely tilted his head to the side. Why was she on her side like that?
"Mother fuckin'..." The Kunoichi groaned as she held her head. "So, you wanna start already, huh?" She suddenly threw a few punches and kicks at the boy who dodged easily. Growling a bit, Tenten went a little faster, only for the Uchiha to sway from side to side.
"Wheeee! I'm a tree!" The Uchiha giggled. He then gasped. "TENTEN! What does a bee taste like?" The random question caught the girl off gaurd, but she quickly jumped in to try and bash the boy's tilted head.
"How should I know?" Sasuke smiled.
"I bet it tastes like panties! OOH! BETTER YET! BOOBIES!" The Uchiha smiled brightly once more, his teeth sparkling a little. Tenten's face drained of all color.
'NO! HE'S BECOMING ONE OF THEM! I'VE GOT TO GO FULL THROTTLE!'
Somewhere in another training field, two bowl-cut ninja suddenly sneezed simaultaneously, making them fall out of their handstands.
"Gai-sensei! Someone must be talking about us!"
"Yosh! We must show them our appreciation! Quickly, we must INCREASE OUR YOUTHFULLNESS by walking around the village on our hands and with our eyes closed!"
"I'm a little teapot, short an stout!" Sasuke giggled as he started to dance around before pushing his butt out and pointing his open hand to his head, imitating a boxum redhead's 'Lunch eating pose'. "Here is my handle, and my spout!" He suddenly grabbed his crotch before laughing aloud, all the while dodging Demon Shuriken, kunai, normal shuriken and paper bombs, all thrown by Tenten.
"FRICKEN' ASS! STOCK JUMPING ALL OVER THE PLACE!" Tenten roared, completely pissed off that the doped up Uchiha was dodging everything she threw at him. It was like trying to deal with Lee after he drank alchohol! Sasuke suddenly appeared right in front of her, a cute little pout on his face.
"You're saying a lot of bad words...you need to be spanked just like that snakey lady!" Tenten suddenly blushed scarlet. He had done this before? AND he had done it to the freaky Chunin Exam proctor? Oh shit, this was a bad idea! Sasuke smiled brightly as he pulled out his ninja wire again, but Tenten managed to pull a substitution with a log. Sasuke pouted. "HEY! YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY! WE MADE A DEAL THAT YOU WOULD SHOW ME YOUR PANTIES AND YOUR BRA COLOR!" He yelled to her new location, inside of some bushes to his left.
Tenten panicked. She could either, A.) try and continue the fight, hopefully winning, or B.) just show him and get it all over with. She decided to go with choice A until she saw something. Sasuke's eyes suddenly went red, making her realize something. He was dodging her WITHOUT the Sharingan. What would he be like if he DID use it? Tenten growled before lifting up a hand.
"All right! I give up!" Sasuke smiled before hopping over to her, acting much like a little bunny rabbit.
"YAYS!" He cheered in joy. Tenten slowly unbuttened her chinese shirt and pulled her pants down. Sasuke stared at her with a wide-open mouth.
"But I won! I can stare all I want!" Sasuke stared at the girl's newly revealed underwear, greatly interested in them. "Huh...you sure you don't like Lee? I mean, you ARE wearing the same colored underwear that his clothes are..." He stared intently at the green bra and panties before smiling. "Oh well!" Groping the girl's chest Sasuke pouted, even as he was punched across the face and sent flying across Konoha. "Aww...only an A-cup...but still, boobies are boobies." He looked down to see Rock Lee, whom had gotten seperated from Gai through the training. "HEY LEE! TENTEN'S ONLY AN A-CUP BUT SHE STILL DIGS YOU!" He shouted before a loud SPLOOSH! was heard.
Rock Lee fell out of his handstand before looking around, his face slightly red as he heard something VERY unyouthful about his teammate, yet he could not keep the blush away from his face. He shook his head as he figured it was nothing, but when he looked up he was quite shocked to see his teammate in her underwear, prompting the youthfull taijutsu specialist to be propelled backwards, a stream of blood erupting from his nose. Tenten's face turned crimson before quickly dressing. When she finally got over to the boy she was surprised to hear him mumbling something about not being able to decide between giving up on Sakura or not.
Sasuke stood up in the water, realizing that it was actually quite warm. Looking through the steam that was around him, he smiled. "BOOBIES!" Jiriaya, who was just outside of the bathhouse spying on the girls, winced in sympathy. He knew the Uchiha wouldn't be able to escape their wrath, but he suddenly paled as he turned to his side to see the soaked Uchiha staring at him, his head tilted to the side. "Do you like boobies?" The question made the man snort in annoyance.
"OF COURSE I LOVE THEM!" A chorus of gasps caught his attention and the sannin paled. Looking behind the Uchiha, he saw the group of women Sasuke had crash landed with in the bath, all with towels covering them and with quite angry looks on their faces. Sasuke smiled as he turned to them and pointed to Jiriaya.
"He's my master! He taught me everything I know!" The boy smiled again before disappearing in a puff of smoke, leaving a battallion of angry kunoichi and civilian women to attack Jiriaya.
"OH COME ON! AT LEAST LET ME GET A GOOD AMOUNT OF INSPIRATION BEFORE SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS! I DIDN'T EVEN GET ANYTHING OUT OF IT!" He cried in misery as he ran for his life, as well as the sake of his manhood.
"I'm a nut, I'm a nut, my life don't ever get in a rut! WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP! The head on my shoulders is sorta' loose and I ain't got a sense that god gave a goose, lord I ain't crazy BUT! I'm a nut!"Sasuke danced around as he sang the song, a big smile still on his face. 'Two A-cups, Four B-cups, six C-cups, and a great big D-cup! Yays!' Sasuke cheered in his head as he flexed his hands once more.
He danced around happily, not noticing a blonde-haired prankster following him. Naruto Uzumaki grinned broadly as he pulled out his camera, having gotten AWESOME shots on Sasuke. He had been following him after Neji had told him to 'Go and check on your teammate.' He was quite proud of Sasuke on having blamed Jiriaya so well. He really should have thought of that himself when he was used as a scapegoat for the perverted old hermit when he was caught the last time. He wasn't expecting him to get Tenten to undress after a fight, but he decided to do something about it. He created two clones before handing one the camera he had.
"Okay minion number one! You take the camera back home so I can develope the blackmail, er, pictures...nah. Go put it in the secret panel so we have some blackmail against Sasuke. Minion number two, follow Sasuke. Write down anything else he does so I can laugh at him for it later." The original chuckled evilly after he gave his clones their instructions.
"Well what are YOU going to do?" The clone with the camera asked.
"I'm going to try and figure out what's going on with Sasuke, see if he was given any medicine and make sure I get some more of it!" He smiled brightly. The three blonde's high-fived before taking off to perform their appointed tasks. As Sasuke wobbled around the village, dancing around to the song he was singing, Naruto found Sakura near the bridge the team usually met on. Quickly deciding that it might be better to send a clone first, Naruto performed the jutsu before his clone went out and waved to his teammate.
"Hey Sakura! I've got a question." The pink-haired girl turned to Naruto before tilting her head to the side slightly. "Was Sasuke put on any medicine? I thought I heard it, but I can't rememeber." Sakura raised an eyebrow, curious as to why Naruto was asking.
"It's called Morphine...why do you want to know?"
"Ah! Well, I uh, heard it was used on me before, so I was just curious." The clone panicked.
Sakura raised an eyebrow. "On you?" The blonde suddenly seemed to shrink in on himself, not too quick to talk about his past treatment.
"Uh, yeah, anyway thanks!" He quickly bolted away.
The real Naruto bapped the clone on the head. "You doofus! You know I hate talking about it!" The clone dispelled before Naruto realized something. Sasuke was doped up. REALLY badly. Maybe...
Naruto smiled as he pulled his hands into another handsign. "Transform!" The blonde disappeared, leaving in his wake Uchiha Sasuke. Naruto grinned behind the Uchiha's face before grinning even more. Wobbling out of the bushes, Naruto Uchiha stumbled up to the shocked Sakura.
"HIYA LITTLE MISSY!" Sasuke smiled happily. Sakura looked a little shocked to hear the Uchiha speak so happily, but figured he was just warming up to her. Sasuke wobbled over to her before staring into her eyes lazily. "Your eyes look funny..." Naruto Uchiha spun around her in circles as Sakura had a look of bewilderment on her face.
Naruto grinned evilly behind his mask. Sasuke was already trashing his reputation by himself, so why not add a little more? Just for the hell of it. Sakura blushed as Sasuke suddenly stared straight into her eyes. "What's your bra size?" The kunoichi flushed, but reminded herself that this was Sasuke. He wouldn't do anything bad to her.
"Eh...er..." AUGH! She couldn't do it! She was too embarrassed! Luckily, or unluckily for her, Sasuke caught her hesitation. Smiling wider than before, while Naruto himself blushed quite a bit, he reached out and grabbed the girl's chest, giving it a small squeaze. "H-huh...they're small..." Sakura would have felt depressed if her inner self hadn't taken control of her body, sending a fist towards the perpetrator who had just groped her chest. Naruto, who already had a shaky hold on his jutsu becuase he was touching Sakura like that, lost his hold completely as Sakura punched him. A puff of smoke revealed the blonde flying away, tears flowing from his eyes like a waterfall. A sort of emptiness filled his being, and he knew it wasn't becuase of the deed he had just done.
"You must find and fondle a girl with a GREAT RACK!" Jiriaya said with complete seriousness in his voice.
"What? Why!" Naruto had shouted as he nearly tripped on the path to Tanzaku town.
"Because not only will you feel fulfilled, any student of mine must have touched the bosom of a woman with at LEAST a C-cup bra size! Even the Fourth Hokage did so!" Naruto flinched at that.
"FORGET HER! YOU MUST FIND SOMEONE WITH A GREAT BOSOM!" The sage suddenly calmed down. "You will understand when the time comes..." He said sagely.
Naruto groaned as he flew towards one of the training grounds. He sort of understood what Jiriaya was talking about. He was expecting something...more. Maybe he WAS spending too much time with the perverted hermit. Landing roughly, the boy began skidding across the ground before stopping in front of something. His head was in-between two long and slender things and the palms of his hands were being slightly pressed back, not to mention he could have sworn he had heard a gasp. He knew it was a girl, and that his hands were going to be missing very soon, so he inwardly shrugged.
'Might as well make it count...they're not going to be around much longer...' With that thought, Naruto squeazed his hands, making whomever it was gasp before...moaning? Whoever was in his hands right now had to have at LEAST a C-cup...because Sakura's weren't even CLOSE to the size of these. Looking up, Naruto blushed as scarlet as the girl whose chest he was groping.
"Ah! N-Naruto-kun...th-that...feels g-good..." Naruto suddenly realized what his sensei had been trying to tell him. He finally felt fullfilled. Now he just wanted to feel it some more.
Sakura felt beyond pissed. NARUTO! That idiot had henged himself into Sasuke to get a grab at her chest! She should have realized it was Naruto since one; he had done it before, and two, Sasuke NEVER acted like that! She continued to fume on the bridge before she heard singing. Turning to the side, her eye twitched badly.
'He's going to try it AGAIN?'
"Wheeee!" The real Sasuke Uchiha smiled brightly as he twirled around before wobbling up to Sakura. "HIYA LITTLE MISSY!"
"DON'T EVEN TRY IT!" Sakura threw a fist towards Sasuke who, naturally, took the blow full force. It however, did NOT send him flying back. Instead, the boy merely acted like his feet were glued to the ground, going almost completely horizontal, before suddenly flying back upright and swinging his hands onto her chest. Sakura's face turned red as Sasuke squeazed a little before suddenly pouting. "Aww...barely an A-cup? Boobies are boobies...but still..." He pouted as he walked away from the bridge, no longer singing his happy song. Sakura felt depressed, and slumped to the ground, a black storm cloud above her head, drenching her in water.
Sasuke pouted a bit as he walked towards a random shiny red building. He wanted his hands to be completely overwhelmed! He wanted to find some boobies that his hands could disappear into! He slumped as he walked into a room and sat on a couch. The sound of footsteps reached his ears before Sasuke twitched upwards. 'High heels...slightly offset...and by the tone of the clacking, they must be huge!' Sasuke turned around and stared slack-jawed. 'I HAVE FOUND THEM!' The Uchiha jumped up in joy before running towards the village's buxom blonde Hokage. "BOOBIES!" The Uchiha jumped towards Konoha's Twin Peaks with stars in his eyes. Tsunade, however, was a Sannin, much like Jiriaya, and so her reaction time was faster than her thinking time. One chakra-infused fist plus a pervert's face makes Tsunade a happy Kunoichi.
Looking at the Uchiha-shaped hole letting light into the mission reception lobby, Tsunade turned towards her secretary. "Wasn't that Sasuke Uchiha?" The shaking secretary, still shocked at having seen Tsunade bash a pervert away without blinking an eye, shakily held up a report. Tsunade skimmed the report before calling Shizune.
"Yes Lady Tsunade?" Shizune asked, Tonton in her arms.
"Run by the hospital and confirm this report. Also, go and get a recovery team for Uchiha Sasuke and bring him to the hospital." Shizune took the report before raising her eyebrows as she read the piece of paper.
"Hoo boy..." She sighed before heading off to do as the Hokage had asked.
Sasuke groaned. His head felt like shit, his entire body was wracked with pain, and the last thing he remembered was being dragged into the emergency room. Realizing that he was still on the gurney, but outside and heading BACK to the hospital, Sasuke wondered what had happened. He glanced off to the side to see something yellow moving over in the trees. Looking further off the side, he raised an eyebrow. Wasn't that the shy Hyuuga's jacket? And wasn't that Naruto's right next to it? 'Huh...I'll have to thank whomever it was that finally got those two together.' He suddenly had the urge to sneeze, for whatever reason, even as the Medical ninja rushed him back into the hospital's emergency room, where they once again argued over who would treat him.
Itachi Uchiha suddenly sneezed loudly, scaring the living daylights out of his partner, Kisame. "Dude, Itachi, you okay? You don't sound so good..." The Uchiha prodigy shivered uncontrollably.
'There has been a disturbance in the way of the Uchiha...someone repeated my past actions...but doesn't know about it...' He shivered once more before it faded. "Let's hurry up and go back...I have a feeling I have some photos to collect from someone..." Itachi spun around to head back to Konoha, his partner staring at him strangely for a moment before hurrying to catch up.
Kenta: Just for the record, there will be moments in your life where you A.) Can't feel you limbs even though they are there, and B.) COMPLETELY forget how to use said limbs. I've tripped three times because of this.
Hope you guys all enjoyed!