It always starts the same. I see a white light and run towards it. I run and run and run. I run miles and miles, but I never come close to touching it. The funny thing about it, is that I never get tired. I never sweat, I never think, I never panic. I simply run. But today was different. You see, today I woke up.
There was a feeling of confusion once I opened my eyes. I was unable to recognize anything. "Where was I?" There was no sign of anything or anyone. "How long was I asleep for?" These were all questions I wanted answers for.
I moved my arm, but quickly stopped. There was an intense pain coming from my left arm. Two needles were pinned inside. It hurt to think about them. One by one I slowly took them out. It was unpleasant to feel pain right away, but I kept my mind busy. Once I got up, I had to sit back down. I felt dizzy. I lay down for a minute, and slowly rose up. This time, it seem to work.
Looking outside the window, everything was grey, cold and wet. I knew I didn't like the look of this. I couldn't imagine the type of people that lived in this dreaded weather.
"It's not like the weather back home," I whispered.
There were loud sounds, cars I presumed. Maybe people yelling at each other over the weirdest things. These sounds frightened me. They sent a shiver down my spine. Yet, I knew this shouldn't scare me. After all, this was a city.
Everything around me looked too plain and empty. I made my way around the room, and found a door leading to the bathroom. I could tell the lights were off, since it was dark. The darkness faded once I went in. The bright lights seem to hurt my eyes at first, but I quickly grew accustomed to them.
The reflection in the mirror caught my attention right away. My skin was pale, translucent was more like it. A few more days asleep, and I could have passed as a vampire. My lips were blue, cold almost. I knew right away, I didn't look like the old me. The two dark purple circles under my eyes caught my attention the most. They weren't that soft aqua I was use to seeing. Instead, they were more like a dark grey. There didn't seem to be life in them. It was as if I had died. I heard the door open, but paid no attention at all. All I could do was stare into this unknown reflection of mine.
I heard a loud scream, and quickly covered my ears. The crackling sound brought intense pain. How I wish it would stop already. It went on for a few more seconds and suddenly became silent. I lay my right hand on the sink, putting all my weight on my arm. I could hear footsteps coming closer and closer. I felt my eyes get heavy. The dizziness had come back. At first, I thought I was floating. No, that wasn't it. It seemed like everything in the room was moving round and round. Everything became blurry all of a sudden. I closed my eyes for a moment, and saw nothing but darkness surround me.
I opened my eyes again, and surely after, I was back on my bed. This time, I wasn't alone. Laying on the small sofa bed near me, was a woman. She looked about thirty, with jet black hair. Her eyes were closed. She was probably asleep.
A moment later, the nurse entered the room. She was wearing a uniform white dress, with a red thin jacket over it. The little hat like object at the top of her head seem to match her outfit. I couldn't see her face, since her back was turned toward me. It made me wonder what she looked like from the front. Once she turned, she looked at me and gave me a smile.
"I see you're awake." It startled me, when she asked me how I was doing. Her voice was so high. Almost like the sound a mouse made, when it tried to escape its own death.
The woman laying on the sofa bed near me finally opened her eyes and awoke. She stared at me for quite some time. I wasn't sure whether to ask her if she was ok, or not. Tears began to fall from her eyes once she recognized that she wasn't imaging anything. She hugged me unexpectedly and asked me if I was ok. I didn't reply.
"Who are you?" I asked, once she let go.
She looked worried when I asked. She explained to me that she was my mother and that I had been in a car accident three weeks ago with my father. I managed to survive, yet he didn't.
"Why can't I remember any of this?" I asked.
She explained how the collision managed to injure the part of my brain that had all my memories. That explained a lot. The thought of being unconscious for three weeks seem like a long time to me. I wondered how much of my life I had missed throughout these three weeks.
Once the nurse left, the doctor walked in. He seemed friendly, almost overjoyed by something. He put the flashlight in front of my left eye and turned the light on. It was so bright, I blinked a few times. He did the same to the right and again, I blinked a few times. He examined every inch of my head, but I paid no attention at all. I was too busy reading the name tag on the left side of his chest: O'CONNER. He didn't seem like an O'Conner type. He seemed more like a Jackson. Maybe it was just me.
"What happened to you earlier back there, was the consequence for taking those needles off. Next time, leave them in. They'll come off once you get your strength back ok?"
I nodded and lay my head back on the pillow. I turned to my side on the empty part of the room. I didn't feel like talking to anyone anymore. I could hear the doctor and my mother having a conversation outside in the hallway, about when it would be ok for me to move rooms. It went on forever after that. I closed my eyes and decided to concentrate on going back to sleep.
I turned for hours and hours. It was no use. I couldn't sleep. Probably because I had more than enough for the past three weeks. I gave a loud sigh. How I wish I wasn't here right now. I looked at the empty sofa bed. My mom was nowhere in sight. I was starting to wonder where she had run off to. I decided to get up and look for her with the needles on. This time, I didn't bother taking them off.
Looking out the window made me realize how quiet and beautiful everything was outside. Everything seemed less scary now. Very peaceful, I should say. No people or cars in sight.
"Nice view, isn't it?" I turned and found a girl starring straight at me.
There was something angelic about her, almost doll like. She had wavy chocolate brown hair coming just under her shoulders at different lengths. The purest violet colored eyes. She was like nothing I had ever seen. Her eyes mesmerized me. I was speechless.
A moment later, the nurse crashed in.
"Cheza, there you are. I've been looking all over the place for you."
There was a slight look of relief on her face. She took her by the arm, and pointed her finger toward the entrance. She knew it was time to go.
I could hear the nurse mumbling about how some of the patients here were so childish and how she didn't want to take care of them anymore. She looked at me one last time and smiled.
"Goodbye." She waved at me and disappeared.
"Cheza," I whispered.
I wasn't going to forget that name after today. I also felt this wasn't going to be the last time I'd see her.
Days later, the doctor decided to move me away from the intensive care unit. Since I had regained all my strength back, the needles were finally out. I was relieved, now that I didn't have to worry about them anymore. It felt good to not be attached to pouches of IV and serum.
My new room was much smaller. Although, there was no sofa bed, there was a small chair.
"It's for mom," I thought.
The walls in this room had some color on it. Blue borders at the top and bottom. There was also a few picture frames. I could tell they were new, since the plastic was still wrapped around them. My bed was about the same, minus the machines.
Everything seemed to be going well after that. Except for the fact that I hadn't seen her. I was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to show up again, like before, when I had just awoke.
"I guess she forgot," I thought.
I heard the door open, but didn't think much of it at first.
"It's probably mom."
My mother always managed to be the loudest, when it came to entering the room. I could define her steps with the snap of a finger.
This time was different. These footsteps were light and fast. Just like a child, making sure their parents wouldn't be able to hear them passing by, while they walk to the kitchen for a midnight snack. These footsteps were cautious.
"Could it be?... Cheza?"
She was the first thing that popped into my mind. I stood still. I didn't want to startle them. Even if it wasn't her. I could feel someone coming closer. Still, I did nothing, but think. Hoping it would be her.
I felt a gentle touch at the top of my shoulder. It was her. I could see it from the corner of my eye. The small hand just there. Resting on my shoulder. I caught her gazing back at me. How I loved those eyes of hers. So pure and vibrant. It was hard too look away. It was almost spellbinding.
"I see that weird doctor decided to move your room. I almost gave up after searching for you through this whole hospital."
I assumed she was talking about the weird smiley doctor who had checked every inch of my head the day I had first woken up.
"Come with me. I want to show you something."
She stuck her right hand out at me. I decided to take it without hesitating. I followed her through the halls. No one seemed to pay any attention to us. I felt as though we were ghosts, roaming around this huge hospital. I grasped her hand when we walked down the stairs, and walked into a room.
This room was different. It had a huge window with the nicest view of the city with chairs all over the place. I figured it was a waiting room.
"Where are we?" I asked.
She smiled at me, but said nothing. There was an akward silence for a moment. She told me how the room we were in use to be part of a mental institution that got closed down about fifty years ago. They decided to take it down and build a hospital. This was all that was left of it.
"I come here all the time to clear my mind off of things. It's my favorite room."
"Why did you bring me here?" I asked.
She shrugged and looked out the window.
"I don't know. I just wanted to show this to someone."
Ever since you arrived here at the hospital, I found you intersting. I've been observing you for a while now. You don't seem like the rest of the patients here . You're very observant. I just thought it would be nice to get to know someone. I don't really have many friends."
It made me happy to think that someone found me interesting. She smiled at me, and turned away. I looked at her left wrist. She had, what seem to be a tattoo. It was a red human heart with big white wings on the sides. There were black thorns around it, with a formed flame at the top of it all. It was so beautiful.
"Oh yes, everyone always stares at that."
I quickly turned away, embarrassed. God, I was so stupid. I was making a complete full out of myself. She must think I'm such a child.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
She smiled, but didn't say anything.
"It's alright. I don't mind. I like having people stare at it and wonder about it. It didn't hurt much, but it took a long time to heal completely."
She lifted her hair up and showed me another one she had on the back of her neck. This one was much smaller. It was a butterfly. It amazed me how a girl like her would have these tattoos on her body. She didn't seem like that type. I shrugged it off, and decided to lay down on the floor.
She followed after a minute. I didn't bother to say anything. She moved closer towards me. I let her get as close as she wanted. It was different with Cheza. I felt safe. Thinking about this didn't make me uncomfortable at all. I never really let anyone get close to me. I knew that for a fact.
I remember being eleven and my aunt Marriott's hugs. They were always the worst. Everytime she hugged me, I felt I couldn't breathe. I decided to not let anyone get so close to me ever again after that.
"so how did you end up in here?" I asked.
She didn't answer. She became quiet. "Did I ask something wrong?" I knew I had probably blown it this time.
"It's complicated to understand."
There was nothing but silence for a long time. I was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to tell me. I didn't want to bother her about it anymore. Maybe it really was complicated for me to understand what was wrong with her. Maybe she just didn't want to tell me.
"I'm going away for a really long time. But I'm not sure if I will be coming back."
It shocked me to think she was going away. I didn't want her to leave me alone. Not like this at least.
"When will you be leaving?"
She didn't answer. It must be sooner than I thought. I was glad I had this chance to talk to her. She layed her head on my chest. I smiled. I think I was beginning to fall in love with her.
"I'm really tired. Can you wake me up in three minutes? Please?"
I nodded. She smiled at me and slowly closed her eyes. I looked around for a moment and closed my eyes. I smiled at the thought of having her rest on my chest. I knew for the first time since I could last remember, I was happy.