Ask Death Note Sock Puppets Answertime Jamboree

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is over, and it was awesome, but don't ask questions anymore, please!

Warnings: Rated T for language, probably.

Disclaimer: I am not making fun of anyone, seriously. These 'ask _' fics have been around since the dawn of time, and they can be really fun. I've wrote questions for a few of them, and I read them sometimes. But, with so many around in the past few weeks, it is irresistible not to make one. I'm not implying that anyone should stop writing 'ask _', OR stop doing anything that they enjoy because of wet blankets. Even if I was making fun of people who write 'ask _' fics, tell me to screw myself because people can do what they want. And also, I am not actually making fun of you.

Now that's out of the way, let's make fun of some stuff!

What is this?

Sup, Dawgs, I heard you like fanfics about Death Note characters answering questions. So I put some Death Note characters pretending to be authors pretending to be to be OTHER Death Note characters answering questions in your fanfic, so you can get answers with your... um answers! Anyway, the point is: Pay attention to me: The author!

So anyway, based on a shaky premise, I have all of the popular DeathNote characters here in some vaguely defined space where the fic takes place. I guess it's some sort of puppet-theater. Try not to think to much about this.

So who are the popular characters?

Well, how about all of them? There were so many who played an important role in the series! Like Quillish Whammy! I bet you want to ask him what was his deal, WTF is with Whammy house, and why does such a rich guy act like a butler! Or Soichiro and Aizawa, the self-sacrificing family men who gave so much to save the world, all on a beat-cop's salary! I bet you want to ask either of them… what do you mean no one cares?

Fine! Here's the list of sexy characters you care about:
L, Light, Mello, Near, Matt, BB, and Misa (not because you care, just so this isn't a total sausage-fest). OH! And don't forget that, as the author, I am PROMINATLY featured in this *Spotlight*.

The deal is: Everyone gets a DeathNote PuppetPal of another character and that character will answer questions through their puppet for the puppet-character.

You, the audience, do not get to know which character has which puppet, and the puppets will be swapped between chapters.

Sound terrible? Good! Then ask anything in the reviews!

Light-Puppet: As main and 'best' character, I expect to field most of these questions. I will try to make time for each of my fans, who I sincerely admire. That is the truth. *sparkle sparkle*
Mello-Puppet: (Did you just say 'sparkle'?)
Light-Puppet: (Yes, we can do sound effects.)
Matt-Puppet: (Do you always make sound effects to go with your mental problems?)
L-Puppet: I'm a big smelly jerk and not cute at all! Please make sure not to ask nerd-questions because this crowd is, like, 5/7 geek.
Near-Puppet: I'll help you actually say that percentage because I think I'm so smart. And since you clearly couldn't calculate it in your own head like the real L... It is... 71%.
Matt-Puppet: Ask us questions, or try to guess who we are. We don't care.
BB-Puppet: I don't know who I am!

OK, so there they are. Make sure to ask them something. But remember who is the real star here: Me.

So pay attention to me, the author, and write your reviews with questions for the Death Note characters pretending to be Death Note characters or to flame me for having this idea. This is going on until I am not bored and on holiday after Christmas.

Oh wait, before my insanely long AN is over, thanks to Near, probably, for making the puppets. Now say the slogan for this fic, Near.
Puppet-ActualNear: It's Pander-riffic!