It's perfect. Absolutely perfect, Quinn thinks.
Maybe she's the only one who thinks so; God, she hopes that after she performs, she's not the only one who thinks so. Or else it would have been a complete waste of her time.
She and Emily have been back together for about a month now; things have been going great for them. For Quinn, in general. Regionals was a couple of weeks ago and New Directions won because Rachel, as Quinn has stated thousands of times since they became friends, is a genius and original songs were exactly what they needed to make it to Nationals. She moved out of the Jones' place last Monday and into her mother's new place; actually, it's her new place, too, but it's going to take some getting used to. She's yet to unpack all of her stuff, but she figures her stuff can wait because her mother's been going crazy shopping for furniture and kitchen supplies and any other necessities that will make their new home feel more 'homey'.
Surprisingly, living with her mother again hasn't been all that terrible. Her mom is more mellow without Russell there; she'll always love her father, but he abandoned her and her mother and as much as she wishes she could, she doesn't think she'll ever find it in her heart to truly forgive him. He hasn't even showed his face once since he and her mother split, and honestly, she's glad he hasn't and she hopes he doesn't anytime soon because her life is great and she doesn't need him ruining that for her.
Then again, she thinks not even her father could ruin her happiness - yes, happiness. For the first time in for what feels like far too long, Quinn Fabray is genuinely happy. Her life may not be perfect, but whose is? She's never going to reach perfection and she was crazy for ever believing she could; her life, for now, is as good as it's going to get and she's not ashamed to say that she is perfectly okay with that.
"Fuck, Quinn, this shit is gross," Puck says, tossing the lyrics she handed him earlier right back at her.
She scowls at him after the sheets of paper hit her in the face and land on the floor.
"Pick those up," she orders, not giving him a chance to protest as she turns to Santana and asks her opinion on the song she chose to perform during glee. She wants to be assured that she's not going to look absolutely ridiculous up there singing about her feelings like this. She's not used to pouring her heart out in the open; it's not going to be easy, she knows that, and it scares her.
"Honest?" Quinn nods. "I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but Puck's right, Q." Santana pauses, turns her head to look at Puck. "And wipe that smirk off your face right now, asshole." He does, and Santana grins before focusing her attention on Quinn, who is currently glaring at her. "Chill, Fabray. The song is gross. Which means it's perfect. So perfect that it makes me want to puke."
Quinn's glare disappears and she smiles a smile that she's sure lights up her entire face.
"Perfect!" she exclaims. She starts to clap her hands together excitedly, but catches herself and stops before she gets too carried away.
It's official, she's been hanging around Rachel way too often.
"Sappy isn't my style, Quinn," Puck pipes up after he's scooped up every last paper into his hand and handed them over to Quinn. "My gross ain't the same as your gross."
"Isn't the same," she corrects him; he rolls his eyes, "but thank you for your input. It's appreciated."
"Anything for you," he says, and even though he says it in a slightly teasing way, she can see how much he means it. They've come a long way; they threw a party for Beth after performing at Regionals and somewhere in the middle of the party, the two took a walk together and finally looked at the one picture they have of their baby girl. He held her while they both cried; though, he will never, ever admit he cried and she knows it, but for him to let her see that side of him? That's more than enough for her.
That night proved what she's always known; she and Puck will forever be linked because they have a child together and nothing can break that bond. She doesn't mind it, either. Being linked to Puck forever, that is. He's a great friend and someday, he'll find someone that can love him wholly and she knows he'll make that girl, whoever she may be, very happy.
"Okay," Santana drawls, capturing both Puck and Quinn's attention, "let's get this fucking show on the road, yeah?"
Quinn grins. "Yeah," she says, taking her usual seat. The club, in its entirety, should be here in a few minutes, which means that, in a little more than a few minutes, she'll be performing her first serenade ever. Only, it's not really a serenade - it's more like a bearing of the soul, but that saying is way too dramatic for her.
She'll settle with referring to her performance as just another way to prove to her girlfriend that she's not going anywhere.
Everyone's okay - she has to keep telling herself that; it makes her feel better. She doesn't know why she needs to feel better, though, because it's true. Aria, Spencer, Hanna, Maya, Toby... they're all okay. It's not over, not by a long shot, but they know who 'A' is now. They may not have the upper hand, but they're getting there.
I know who 'A' is now. That thoughts plays over and over in her mind as she enters the choir room and takes her usual seat. Quinn's not beside her, but not because she isn't in the room; she's standing at the front of the room, preparing for a performance, which confuses Emily because she thought Rachel was performing today, but... that's not really important.
This past month, it's been amazing. She and Quinn are happier than ever, she talks to her friends back in Rosewood nearly every day, and now, now, this little game that 'A' has been playing is almost over. She doesn't want to let herself believe it, or set her hopes too high only to have them crushed, but she can feel it; this nightmare she's been living in, it's coming to an end. She doesn't know what she'll do when it's over; she doesn't know if she'll stay here or return to Rosewood, but she's decided that she'll cross that bridge when she gets there.
The important thing is that she's okay. More than okay. She's content with her life how it is right now; she has the most amazing friends and girlfriend. Life is good.
"Okay, so, I know this week's song choices are supposed to be about heartbreak or whatever," her girlfriend's voice drags her out of her thoughts, "but the song I'm about to sing is... well, you'll see."
She raises an eyebrow as the first chords to a song she's never heard fill her ears. Whatever it is, it's beautiful - that much is obvious when Quinn begins to sing. She watches, mesmerized as her girlfriend sings, and it's only when Quinn reaches the chorus and looks directly at her that she realizes why the blonde chose this song.
"So won't you breathe
Oh won't you breathe
Breathe me in
So I am whole.
Oh won't you breathe
Oh won't you breathe
Breathe me in
So I am whole."
Quinn doesn't break eye contact with Emily as she continues the song. The brunette knows it's probably a cliché, but it's as though they're the only two there. And the words, And I watch you circle and baby I watch you fall, you make me feel what I thought I could never feel at all seem to hit so close to home for the both of them.
She's seen Quinn fall and she's been there to pick her up, and Quinn has done the same for her. She felt something with Maya, something very strong, but with Quinn, it's different. With Quinn, what she feels is... better. Not stronger, but a thousand times better. And it's because there aren't any secrets; not anymore.
Quinn finishes the song with "Oh, won't you breathe me in", and everyone starts clapping. Excluding Emily, of course - she's just gazing; gazing lovingly at her wonderful girlfriend. She's never understood the big deal with having the one you love sing to you, but she thinks she gets it now. What she's feeling, it's indescribable.
She doesn't give herself much time to think of what she's doing; she stands and makes her way over to her girlfriend, and the second she's standing in front of the blonde, she grabs her and kisses her. She kisses her passionately, in front of everyone. She can hear Puck and Sam wolf-whistling and she can hear Mr. Schuester clearing his throat and she can feel eyes boring into her from nearly every direction, but she doesn't care. She doesn't care because she loves this girl and if she has to, she'll kiss her like this in front of the entire world just to show how much she means it.
They're both breathing shallowly when Quinn pulls away and she rests her forehead against the blonde's, never once breaking eye contact.
"Me, too," she whispers; she doesn't elaborate, doesn't really need to.
Quinn grins a full-blown grin. "God, I love you."
There's a few 'awes' from some of the glee kids, and she hears Mr. Schue clear his throat again, but they both ignore the noises.
"Good," Emily replies, her grin matching Quinn's.
"And why's that?" Quinn asks, arching her eyebrow in that cute way she always does.
"Because I love you," is her only reply.
When Quinn met Emily, she'd been running. So had Emily. Quinn had been running from Puck, from Beth, from her parents... Emily, she'd been running from everything, from life as she knew it. Both girls had run until they couldn't anymore, until they chose not to.
Quinn, she never wants to run again, but she doesn't regret running. Sitting here, in the choir room, surrounded by her family and holding her girlfriend's hand, makes her see that, had she not decided to run, she wouldn't be here now. She wouldn't have a girlfriend whom she loves that loves her back, she wouldn't be best friends with Rachel Berry, and she and Santana, their friendship would probably still be on the rocks, practically non-existent.
She realizes running is not the smartest thing to do; it's just about the dumbest, but she wouldn't change a thing.
The important thing is, she's not running anymore. And neither is Emily.
And because of each other, they will never, ever have to run again.
So much more than I had ever hoped
Oh, won't you breathe me in
author's note: and this is the end.
i don't know the song. don't know what the beat is or anything, but the lyrics are beautiful, i think. also, the song is called 'breathe me in', so it's kind of perfect, yeah?
this is goodbye. for now. i may write something again soon, may not. thank you so, so much for sticking around and for reviewing. i truly appreciate it and i'm glad i'm not the only one out there who thinks emily and quinn would be interesting. :)
thanks again, lovelies.