A/N: This is for MinionsOfTheNachoArmyUnite's Pairing Names Challenge. The name that I recieved was Iced Mocha, and I guessed that it referred to Lucius/Sirius.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to JKR.
So what if you can see the darkest side of me.
No one will ever change this animal I have become.
Animal I Have Become :: Three Days Grace
Sirius Black was nothing like his mother, his father, or his brother at all. He felt no allegiance to or pride for the Dark Lord. Or at least not that he would ever willingly admit. But it was there deep down, an instinct that he was born with, a pressing feeling that he could never quite kill, only smother with friendships and love that he could never bare to betray.
Most of the time he was the greatest of actors and no one was the wiser to his shameful secret. But his friends never wanted to see the darkness in him, they trusted incessantly in the good that he projected, and never thought to ask questions. But it takes one tainted soul to recognize another.
As he walks down Diagon Alley, the entrance to Knockturn Alley catches his eye; it freezes him in his footsteps. Because the pull of the darkness that waits beyond is almost too much to ignore, to deny. He tries to lift his foot, to take a step away – but it won't move, some part of his subconscious overriding the message he tries to send to his legs.
Just then, before he can do anything more, a soft chuckle breaks the silence that has fogged over his mind. He can feel the breath of the person standing behind him on the back of his neck. There is an edge to the laugh, something sinister, and he wants to turn around, to face whoever is behind him. But his body is still struck by instinct, oblivious to his commands, and the voice continues before he can do anything.
"Go ahead, Sirius Black. All it takes is one step and then another for you to find your rightful place." The voice is soft and low in his ear, the deep voice of a male, and the words are meant for him and him alone. The voice and the words stir something inside of him; they speak the thoughts he has refused to put into words and the truth he has always known.
There is a rush of cold air against the back of his neck as the hot breath disappears and the man walks around him, coming to a stop just in front of him, but still not blocking his view of Knockturn Alley. His white-blond hair falls over his shoulders, his thin lips fall effortlessly into a smirk. "It has been there all along, hasn't it? That desire for something better, something greater than all of this?" He waves a hand, encompassing everything around them. "It doesn't just have to be a dream." Lucius takes a step toward him, their faces inches apart. "Let me show you." His voice is even lower than before, and Sirius senses a passion in his tone that he has a sudden feeling has nothing to do with the conversation at hand.
Sirius looks into Lucius's eyes, really looks, and he can see it there, too. It is suppressed and it is masked, but he can see it. Passion and longing twined together to form a deadly combination. And just as love has always been enough to save him in the past, to allow him to fight the fate that is always lying in wait, just around the corner, it is enough to allow him to gain control of his body once again, to allow him to take a step backward.
Lucius's dark gray eyes narrow slightly, but his smirk never falters. "We are not so different you and I. You have your little secret, and I have mine. Those secret desires that are too dark to mention. Yet somehow, when no one else can see them, they are obvious to each other…" he trails off, his expression half amused.
"Maybe," Sirius agrees, and Lucius's smirk transforms into a sadistic smile. "Two secrets, neither which will ever see the light of day, which will never become a reality." Sirius's tone is offhand and careless, but there is no doubt that he means it. Lucius's smile instantly slides from his face.
"I am not like you Malfoy; I won't ever be like you," Sirius says and starts to turn away, but Lucius reaches out a hand, grabbing his arm.
"You were born for this. It is in your blood, it is in your name: Black," Lucius says, his words coming quickly, almost desperately.
Sirius yanks his arm away and steps out of Lucius's reach. "Of course it is. But we all have our own choices. You've made yours and I've made mine, and there is no going back from that," Sirius says and turns to walk away. Lucius doesn't try and stop him this time, and as he rounds the corner, disappearing from sight of Lucius and Knockturn Alley, the truth of his words sink in. With a sense of relief, he realizes, that there never really was any competition at all.
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