Scot: Over the Past few months I've been getting notices that people have been reviewing "The Snowpoint Incident, some time after its ended, as a gift for pushing it over the 200 review mark, here's a present! AND KEEP REVIEWING!
'Parodies are overrated, ratings are overrated, and being overrated is overrated.'
Red, Green, Blue and Willow
Many weeks after the Snowpoint Incident Kanto was stricken by a freakish heat wave, the very earth itself was releasing water vapour and some people were using metal surfaces to fry eggs simply because they could. Needless to say because of this heat wave most folk were forced to stay indoors, many families huddled around a single fan to try and cool themselves off.
It was times like these Green was glad he owned such a high tech gym, with state of the art air conditioning. What he didn't like was the fact that three of Kanto's more irritating townsfolk took advantage of it.
Green shot a hostile glare at the three said townsfolk who were sprawled out in the middle of his gym, right under the vents that blasted cool air throughout the building.
"Are you three planning on leaving any time soon?" He grunted. "I would like to open my gym to challengers today."
"So why don't you?" Blue replied as let out a content yawn and stretched out.
Willow who was beside her nodded sleepily. "Yeah Greenie, why don't you? Aren't you supposed to be a good gym leader? You are a gym leader after all, aren't you Greenie?"
"How can I when you three are sprawled out in the middle of my battlefield! ?" Green snapped. "And quit calling me 'Greenie'!"
"I'm sorry Greenie I didn't quite catch that, Greenie, your Air conditioning is so loud I can't hear you, Greenie."
"Why did you use that name three times in the same sentence?" Green boomed, he was at his limit. "Red, surely you can't be on their side in this…?"
Red continued to snore; he had been asleep for some time now.
A vein popped in Green's forehead. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? !"
"We're too hot." Blue replied simply, now using her hat as a fan.
Green slowly wandered over to his control panel and cut the electricity cord. The lights immediately died and the air conditioning fell silent.
The three intruders shot up in horror, bodies quaking in panic.
"The AC is gone!" Red cried. "Greenie you're a monster!"
"Greenie why did you do it!" Blue screamed. "We are going to die!"
Willow started to bash his head off the wall. "I'm just asleep the AC is really still on… I'm just having a nightmare… yes a nightmare… Greenie would never sabotage his own gym…"
"WHY ARE YOU ALL CALLING ME GREENIE NOW? !" Green roared. "The AC is gone now! Leave!"
A massive burst of heat flooded into the building and Green started to sweat. 'Is it really this hot?' He suddenly thought to himself. 'Blast I shouldn't have wrecked my gym… NO! I must keep a cool façade I must not let them think I regret my actions…' Another trickle of sweat ran down his face and he slowly turned to face his panicking friends.
"Hey, do you guys know any place that has an air conditioner?"
Red, Blue and Willow stared blankly at him.
The four slowly staggered through Viridian, the heat was so strong the world around them seemed distorted. The sweat on their bodies evaporated almost instantly as the continued to wobble around.
"This… is… entirely… your… fault… Greenie…" Willow rasped, his throat dry.
Green simply grunted weakly. He was too hot to reply.
"We have to get to Pallet Town…" Red gasped. "The professor will have some fans set up…"
"We will die before we reach route 1 at this rate…" Blue moaned. "Isn't there anywhere we can go…?"
"I set up a shop, nearby." Willow pointed to a nearby building, "It has a fan… and some water…"
Red, Green and Blue glanced at each other. Before breaking into a run towards the building, viciously shoving each other as they did so.
"Urgh!" Blue groaned as Red shoved her. "Where are your manners? You're supposed to let the girl have the first drink!"
Red opened his mouth to protest before Green shoved him. "Pesky girl, you'll just steal all of it!"
A shadow flew over them and Willow jumped down onto the balcony of his shop, pulling out his Aura Pistol as he did so and pointing it at them with a wicked smile on his face. He fired a single blue bolt at their feet stopping their advance.
"I don't recall saying I was going to share my supplies with you." He cackled evilly, he turned to open his door, "Good luck finding water, Suckers- huh?"
Willow's eyes widened in horror, his shop looked like it had been ransacked, and a small note had been posted to his door. Willow hastily snatched it and scanned the paper.
As you are aware, you owe us three months of pay; as such we have taken it upon ourselves to take our payment in water and your barely functioning fan. If by chance you come back here during the heat wave… what was the term you would use? Ah yes…
'Good luck finding water, SUCKER!'
From Mallori, Jean and Rylte
A depressing aura surrounded Willow and he hung his head in despair.
"Those…" Willow sniffed as if he was going to cry. "Traitorous…"
When he looked up he realized that Red, Blue and Green was glaring at him.
"Guys… I know that I don't ask for much…" Willow started. "But I need you to kill me… preferably by drowning if you have any water."
Red, Green and Blue shook their heads in disgust and started to walk away.
A voice caught their attention.
The four glanced at a man in thin clothing, running in sandals to reach them. Once he reached them he stopped and started panting. "This is the shop that does anything for money, right?"
"That's right…" Willow replied glumly, completely lacking enthusiasm. "I'm the boss…"
"Wonderful!" The man cried. "Listen, a group of thugs stole my fan, now this isn't any ordinary fan… it's a very high tech prototype my father designed. I need you to get it back for me, or destroy it."
Willow's eyes lit up. "Yes… I can get your fan for me- I mean you…" Willow beamed brightly at him, "so where are there guys hiding?"
"These guys call themselves the "Super evil organization", but they are just a bunch of guys in black tight suits who wave their arms in the sky making stupid noises." Willow's client explained. "With that fan in their possession who knows what they could do…" He glanced back up at Willow. "Destroy it if you must, just make sure that they don't use it."
Willow ignored him and kept nodding his head. "So where is this fan hidden already dammit! ?"
"Oh yes its in that building over there." The man pointed a small building at the end of the street, prompting Willow and the other dexholders to sweat drop.
"Oh and one more thing you should know about this fan-" The man started, but Willow cut him off.
"THE FAN IS MINE!"
Blue, Red and Green immediately followed him. "NO! Its mine!"
"You made me break my AC, I should get it!"
"No I should, I've saved Kanto loads of times, I should be recognized as a hero, you can do so by letting me have it!"
As they rushed up to the building, Yellow in a light pink summer dress approached them. "Hey guys!"
"Hey Yellow!" They shouted simultaneously as they shot past her.
She raised her hands to her mouth and called out to them. "I just got a new AC system installed at my house, if you need a place to cool off you can come to mine!"
Sadly she was ignored at the Dexholders where to busy arguing over who should get the fan.
The four now stood at the entrance of the building surprised at how decrepit it looked.
"It looks like a gust of wind could destroy this place before we do…" Willow commented tiredly. "*sigh* all this hassle for some cheap fan too…"
"So you don't want it then?" Red smiled, "No problem I'll happily take it off your hands."
"No way you should give it to me!" Blue protested.
"You destroyed my air conditioner, you owe me a substitute." Green spoke in a monotone.
"What? !" Willow boomed. "You were the one who wrecked your own AC!"
"Don't lie it was entirely your fault." Green continued in a passive tone, just pay me back with that fan.
"What type of deal is that? !" Willow cried. "You are just making up stuff!"
"INTRUDERS!" A man in a black tight suit cried as he charged out of the building, waving a golden Japanese hand fan in a threatening way. "How dare you attack my compound, my 'EVIL' compound."
"Oi, shutup." Willow spat at him and turned back to Green. "What was I saying again? Oh yes, you would be more popular as a girl character since so many people pair you with Red, no idea why… if you get a sex change I might become an Original shipper."
A vein in Green's head exploded. "WHAT TYPE OF LOGIC IS THAT? ! AND WE WEREN'T EVEN TALKING ABOUT THAT EITHER!"
"Eh, Its too hot…" Willow complained and jerked a finger skywards. "I said its too hot, Mr Sun, don't you ever take a break you Bas****? !"
"Willow, please stop swearing…" Blue scolded him, it was apparent she was struggling to stay conscious under the intense sunlight as she was swaying side to side and trembling violently.
"Muhahaha! Just as I thought, even the mighty Dexholders cower before Colonel Evil!" The Man in the Black tight suit cackled still waving around his golden fan.
"Oi, fatso in the tight suit, give us your fan." Willow ordered him.
Red stepped in. "Willow, that isn't how you ask for something, you should try to be reasonable."
Red stepped forwards. "Hey Mr Fatso, we need to borrow your fan-"
Willow slugged him the back of the head. "Polite my a** you just insulted him!"
"I did?" Red replied dumbly before noticing that Colonel Evil was pinching his stomach to measure how fat he was, before falling to the ground and breaking into tears saying "it's true, it's true." over and over again.
Colonel Evil fell on his knees before the Dexholders and raised the golden fan up to them like a tribute. "You have bested me Dexholders, you have crushed my self-esteem, and I can no longer be a villain."
Blue stared blankly and pointed at the golden fan. "That's what we came here for?"
Willow frowned. "No, he must have meant an electronic fan, nobody uses hand fans anymore…"
"I haven't got one of those." Colonel Evil interrupted, "but I have an Air Conditioner inside my house."
Sadly he was ignored by the despairing Dexholders.
"WE CAME ALL THIS WAY FOR THIS RUBBISH!" Willow screamed waving the golden fan around. "WHAT IS THIS BULLS***? ! A JOKE? IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY? A PUNCHLINE?"
The four Dexholders gathered around Willow as he dropped the golden fan onto the ground, the four proceeded to stamp on the device, sending pieces of electronics everywhere.
"What have you done? !" Colonel Evil cried, "That device can control the weather! With it I could have ended this heat wave!"
The Dexholders continued to ignore him as they weakly wandered back to Viridian, completely unaware that they had both, saved the world and further ruined their day.
Why yes, I did just make this up on the spot... I fail so badly... excuse me while I go eat some ice cream... *sobs*