A random one shot that I thought of when daydreamming and listening to music :D Natalie POV, a one-shot about her making the choice to become strigoi. Written to Jennifer Hudson's Invisible.

Hope you like it, please let me know what you thought! xx

No one noticed me. I faded into the background.

I was a royal sure, a Dashkov; but that didn't make a difference. I wasn't pretty enough, or tall enough to be noticed. I wasn't astonishingly smart; I didn't possess some unknown and rare talent that few people had mastered. I was just me.

Natalie Dashkov.

The only daughter of Victor Dashkov, once primed to be heir to the throne. But even that wasn't enough to make me stand out in the crowd. Sure, I wasn't interested in being a part of all the snobby royal cliques; being bitchy and gossiping about everyone and everyone who wasn't royal and therefore didn't fit in. But that didn't mean that I always wanted to be on the sidelines; on the outside looking in. I was royal, but sometimesā€¦ I didn't feel like it.

Seems like I'm not here
It's like I don't mean nothing
Like glass unclear
Almost like you can see straight through me
I got questions but no answers
So tired of being confused and I
Don't wanna stay right here and I
Gotta find my wings and fly

Daddy had said that this would help him. That I would be helping the greater good. That was what he was working towards anyway. He didn't want to hurt Lissa, but he needed her to help him. To heal him so that he'd be strong again; and able to lead the moroi forwards into victory against the strigoi. Queen Tatiana wasn't doing anything to save our race, or to save the dhampirs. They were so brave, so selfless to lay down their lives for us; and we took it for granted. I didn't want anymore dhampirs to get hurt. I knew they would, but if there was something I could do to prevent it, I would do it.

I gotta find me another way
Cause I don't wanna stay another day
Time for a change in my mind
I've opened my eyes I'm changing my life
And now I'm gonna live my life for me
Cause this ain't how it's supposed to be
No more standing in the back of the line
Cause I'm invisible for the last time

We expected the dhampirs to be there to protect us no matter what. But their numbers were slowly falling. Too many strigoi were being created, and there were too many strigoi for the dhampirs to fight against. More and more of them were being killed in battle; and like daddy said, since we moroi didn't even try to fight backā€¦ we were killed too. That's what he had been pushing for, trying to subtly encourage other moroi to look into extra ways to protect themselves. But he didn't push it. He needed to become king first; and then he could simply make it law that all moroi learnt how to defend themselves slightly. It would make things easier for the dhampirs, reduce strigoi numbers and ensure that both of our races survived.

Why can't you see me
Do I really even matter
You changed me completely
And I remember how it used to be
I got question what's the lesson
I'm tired of being confused and I'm
I'm gonna take my chance and fly
I'm taking back my life

But it hadn't worked. Daddy was getting worse each day; and Lissa and Rose weren't revealing any of their secrets. I knew why they'd left in the first place; daddy had explained to me and his guardians. But it was tough getting Rose or Lissa to spill the beans. Since they'd been brought back they'd hung around with me, which was good, but they didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. So I'd continued to try to be the best friend that I could be. Lissa and I were cousins, and daddy was fond of her so she didn't suspect me; but Rose was a lot more cautious. Especially, because everyone had judged her so harshly once she was brought back to the academy.

I gotta find me another way
Cause I don't wanna stay another day
Time for a change in my mind
I've opened my eyes I'm changing my life
And now I'm gonna live my life for me
Cause this ain't how it's supposed to be
No more standing in the back of the line
Cause I'm invisible for the last time

But I kept at it. Kept trying to do what daddy wanted me to do. Sometimes I felt guilty, knowing what would happen once Lissa admitted to the special abilities she possessed. But daddy needed help. I wanted to help him. It was selfish, but I'd rather have my cousin tired and weak while my daddy was alive and leading the moroi to new heights; rather than having Lissa walking around paranoid and scared while my daddy suffered and died. It would be tough on her, and I'd head daddy mention that it could drive either her or Rose mad; but it would help all the moroi and dhampirs. She would be like the legends, living up to her namesakes. 'Vasilisa the Brave' would really come to life, healing daddy so he could set up a new era for dhampirs and moroi alike.

This can't be it for me
This can't be all I'm made for
And all my time wasted in this life
It's my time to shine
No more feeling insufficient
I'm gonna make my own decisions
It don't matter what you can or cannot see,
I'm doing this for me

She was tough though, and Rose protected her all the time. Where she would forget and slip up, Rose would remember and stop her from revealing anything. She almost told me at the banquet after Queen Tatiana embarrassed her; but again, Rose was there. The dead animals hadn't done much either, and so daddy had had to resort to injuring Rose. He hadn't wanted to hurt Rose, and neither had I. She was my friend, but I knew that this was more important. So I rotted the bench, and watched as she fell and broke her ankle. The sound of her bone snapping made me cringe and feel sick with guilt; but this was my choice, my decision. It hadn't hurt her training because Lissa healed her, which gave daddy all the evidence he needed. He did something to get Rose out of the way and took Lissa. She healed him like he'd said she would; but Rose had ruined it all; and daddy had been thrown into jail.

I gotta find me another way
Cause I don't wanna stay another day
Time for a change in my mind
I've opened my eyes I'm changing my life
And now I'm gonna live my life for me
Cause this ain't how it's supposed to be
No more standing in the back of the line
Cause I'm invisible for the last time

It was up to me now.

This was my time to take charge and be noticed. Daddy and I had discussed this scenario and what would happen. We hadn't thought it would come down to it though, so I hadn't given it much thought. But now, faced with the knowledge that if I didn't act, didn't do something; that daddy would be locked away, simply for trying to help the moroi and dhampirs, I wasn't afraid. Sure, I had my doubts, but I knew that they were there to simply make me think twice. To make me double check that there was no other way. And though part of me didn't want to do it; didn't want to keep drinking from Mr. Nagy, and to take that final step... I knew I wouldn't stop. This was my way of doing my part. Daddy would help me control it, and if not, he would kill me so that my soul could rest in peace. I would go down in the history books as Natalie Dashkov, who helped pave the way for the salvation of dhampirs and moroi alike. I would be me; but this time, everyone would know who I am.

Can you see me
I know you see me
No more stand in the back of the line
Cause I'm invisible for the last time