AN: This here one-shot is brought to you by boredom and an the request to write an Canada/Ireland fic for my friend Trisl. I beg you, ignore any flaws you find, unless they are like...terrible. I wrote this while half awake and babysitting. Now for everyone's best friend...THE DISCLAIMER!
Hetalia is sadly not mine, nor is Emerald. Hetalia is Hidekaz Himayura's, and Emmy is Trisl's. Now enjoy, please?
Baby, baby, baby oh~ WHAM! Matthew slammed his phone against the wall. Oh how he hated Alfred for setting that song to go off every morning, then somehow locking it so it couldn't be changed. Just because Justin freaking Beiber was Canadian, didn't mean Matthew wanted him as an alarm! Meh, he'd deal with it later, because right now the poor nation had the worst hangover. Not only that, but he couldn't remember the previous night and it annoyed him to no end. As Mattie turned over, he was met with a very unwelcoming site. The freckled face of Ireland was staring back at him and it clearly said "Why the fuck are you in my bed?"
"No, I'm the queen; you moron. Now why are we in bed together?"
Neither person had an answer. As Matthew looked around he realized that he was definitely not in his own home, and from what he could remember, this wasn't Emmy's either.
"I-I don't know, Emmy. I was hoping you would. But the bigger question here is, why are we naked?" The blush on both their faces could easily rival one of Spain's tomatoes.
"Ah, the lovebirds are awake. It's about bloody time."
The pair turned sharply to meet the owner of the new voice. England. Knowing the older nation was seeing them in such a state was enough to make the younger nations keel over on the spot.
"Excuse me?" Of course it was Emmy who finally found her voice and asked.
"Do I need to go slower for you lass? I said it was about time that you lovebirds woke up!"
If Canada was any other nation, preferably his twin, he would have smacked the cheesy grin right off Arthur's face, but instead went for the direct approach, "Did you just say lovebirds?" He turned to his bed mate, "Did he just say lovebirds?" The young girl only nodded before breaking into a long wind of swears and some kind of "I did NOT sleep with that cry-baby. Nope, nope, nope. This is just a dream" rant. Matthew soon joined her, but his curses were in French, so they where classy swears and rants.
Arthur couldn't take much more, and his laughter broke the two out of their thoughts.
"What's so damn funny?" They cried in unison.
"Calm down. You two didn't actually do anything like that last night. I just wanted to see what you thought happened."
"That's mean Iggy." Emmy pouted.
"Consider it revenge for replacing all my nice tea with that degrading piss you call beer last week. And don't call me Iggy."
"Does that mean you know why we're in this situation?" Arthur turned to the soft voice and nodded kindly.
"Aye, that I do."
"Then what are we waiting for? Fill us in!"
"Patience Emerald," Arthur said. The young girl just scowled at being called by her proper name. "Now, as I was saying. I know exactly why you two are naked in bed together when no sex went on last night. We where all at Ireland's eighteenth birthday party celebrating," He pointed to Matthew, "you and America got into a competition to see who could hold their liquor better. You lost by the way. The birthday girl on the other hand," He turned back to Emmy, "is just a drunk. She got so excited about being legal that she downed quite a few kegs of ale. If I was a better big brother I would have stopped her, but I'm not, so I didn't. I'm actually quite proud of you my dear." Arthur smiled to prove his point then paused to let the first half of his tale sink in.
"Okay…" Matthew started, "But that doesn't explain why we're...um...you know…naked." Emmy nodded in agreement. At least their blackout was explained.
"Ah yes. The nudity. Well, you can thank a very plastered and perverted Italy for that one. Feliciano loudly announced that if anyone skinny dipped in the Shannon at midnight, he would make a pizza in the shape and size of their country. You lot where the only gits drunk enough to take him on." Blushing from the younger two resumed at this point. "Anyway, after we fished you both out, caught you, and the party ended, Francis and I brought you back here to sleep it off."
Shock could not describe the feeling that surged through the two nations who had yet to leave their bed. But Matthew, somehow, managed to catch something in the ex-pirates story, despite his mortification.
"What do you mean 'caught'"?
The Brit couldn't help but chuckle. "Of course, how could I not explain? You two decided to go streaking around Dublin."
If England ever wished for a camera, it was right now more than ever. By this time Emmy had fallen out of the bed, and was trying to crawl under it to escape to anywhere other than that room, and Matthew looked as though he would cry at any second.
With a curt nod, the old nation left the room, leaving his charges to think about their little journey. Emmy came out from under the bed long enough to watch her brother leave. How could she have let this happen? Sure, the girl was nuts, but not THAT nuts. And now the whole world and seen her naked! Oh the shame…And Canada! She could only imagine how the boy was feeling. He was the shyest thing she had ever seen. She wasn't surprised that he had drank so much, competitions between the North American twins where quite normal, but [never] would she think he'd get up enough gumption to skinny dip, let alone streak! She turned to look at the poor lad, initially to see how he was handling the situation, but upon seeing his exposed (and well defined, might she add) chest, something in that ol' Irish mind of hers clicked.
"You know…." He looked up. Something about the ginger's tone was suggestive, and he…liked it?
She crawled towards him, and his eyebrow rose.
"Just because what we thought happened last night didn't happen doesn't mean it can't happen now."
"Eh?" Up went his other eyebrow. Matthew was thoroughly confused.
"Blimey you're slow," She removed his glasses and gently placed them on the nightstand, "We're here, we're naked, and I'm bored. Besides, it's not like we have any dignity left to lose. How you like to pour your syrup all over my lucky charms, Mr. Lumberjack?"
OMG it's another Author's note. So, here you go. My crappy nonsense. Please R&R, or Ivan will eat your face while you sleep. No lie. And as per my usual promise, all who do reveiw will receive a plush in the form of the nation of their choice. :D
Maybe someday I'll write something that isn't Hetalia...