This was written by AChangeableMask and I, on the inspiration of the video on you tube of the Doctor Who cast singing 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas'. You ought to go see it, it's really read! It includes a drunk Doctor! And singing! Disclaimer; If we owned any of this, we would be very, very lucky and also either a large Broadcasting Company, or Judy Garland and MGM. Maybe both.
"You are under arrest for time-traveling while intoxicated." A Scottish female in a police outfit said coquettishly.
"Can' do tha! No time travel cops no more!" A very drunk Doctor waved his hands in front of her face.
"It's just me, Doctor! I thought you said you could hold your..liqu...lick...alcohol." Amy took off her hat and sat down next in between him and Rory. "But honest, you can't drive when you're drunker than I am."
The Doctor nodded, "Right. You right. We nee' one of those…wha' do you call 'em? Designer divers?"
Rory sighed, "A designated driver?"
"Rory," Amy smiled sweetly, "You should be the des-dis-driver."
"Me?" He asked his wife, "Why me?"
"Cuz you're the sobererest!" The Doctor announced.
"But we don't even have a car! What am I supposed to do, take away the TARDIS keys?"
"Should do," the Doctor attempted to throw an arm around Rory's shoulder and in a slurred voice, whispered conspiratorially to him, "dun wanna get pulled over flying back t' Leadworth."
"I don't know how to fly the TARDIS!"
The Doctor blinked at him "Why not?"
"Failed his test!" Amy giggled. The Doctor seemed to find this incredibly funny and erupted into giggles of his own.
Rory stared at the both of them and sighed, then attempted to move the drinks that sat in front of his wife and friend. Amy leaned forward and poked him in the nose in an attempt to point at him, "Nuh-uh, mister. These not yours." She giggled and pushed the tip of his nose a bit to the side, "You look funny like this."
"Amy." He sighed.
"An' soun' funny!" The Doctor noted, making Amy start laughing again.
Rory mentally counted to ten and tried again. "Amy, love, you're going to be miserable in the morning."
"Not misererble now." She replied petulantly, "Lighten up, Rory."
The Doctor nodded sagely. " 'S like Christmas, Rory."
"Here? Or in your head? Don't tell me you've got sugar plums dancing in your head?"
He wrinkled his nose "Naw, that'd be dumb. S'like Christmas cuz... iss sparkes... an' jingly."
"Doctor?" Rory asked, "Nothing's sparkling. And if by jingly you mean a very bad crooning of 'Hound Dog' I'm wondering if it was only your dancing effected when you did that who...body changing thing you told us about."
"Amy's sparklin'!" the Doctor insisted, "An' you're jingling!"
Amy's eyes widened, "I'm sparkly?" She squealed, looking at her arms for possible sparkles.
The Doctor shook his head "No, no 's'like... a met- a metor- a metraphorcal spakle."
"I'm jingling?" Rory asked, not entirely believing his ears, "What's that a metaphor for?"
The Doctor thought very hard about it. He frowned. He scratched his head. He wrinkled his nose. Then he looked up at Rory and grinned. "Forgot."
Rory sighed and tried to change the conversation. "Honestly, though, can they get that guy off the karaoke? No," He told the bartender, "They do not want another."
"Says who! He's the design diver, mister tender, so we'll 'ave a mother." The Doctor leaned back and threw his arms out.
Amy giggled, "he means ano-ant-more."
As the two downed their drinks, Rory slumped onto the barstool next to them. "I give up." He mumbled, just praying that Amy wouldn't take her hangover out on him later.
"We should sing!" Amy blurted. " 'f'it's Christmas, we should sing."
"Brilliant! Rory! You. Piano. Now." The Doctor ordered.
"Do you even know if I can play the piano?" Rory sighed.
"Course you can. Your mum had you trainin' one of your own since fore you was eight, Rory Williams!" Amy frowned.
"The Piano is not a pet. You practice playing the piano. You don't train a piano to do tricks, Amy."
"I know a piano once." The Doctor said, "Could do back flips."
Rory wasn't sure if the Doctor was telling the truth, or just more inebriated than he'd previously thought.
"Please Rory?" Amy begged, her hands clasped in front of her and eyes wide like a puppy's, leaning up close to him, nose-to-nose. "Please play piano?"
He stared at her for a second, before he sighed, "This is the last time I let you talk me into some think like this. And the puppy dog eyes are a mean card to pull. Even if you're drunk."
"Yay!" Amy shrieked with glee, clapping her hands together and bouncing in her seat like a hyperactive five-year-old
"Wha' song should we singe? Let's think ver' carfully." The Doctor put his head on his hand, and leaned forward, sliding off the chair.
"Doctor? Are you okay?" Rory asked very slowly, helping the time lord up.
"Never better! Song? What?" He asked them.
"Christmas song." Amy said.
"Good. How do tha' go?" The Doctor asked, looking at her very carefully, in much confusion.
"Uumm... tha's the one 'bout chestnuts right?"
"It is." Rory sighed, "But you don't know the words, Amy. You refused to learn the proper ones. And I'm not hearing the Doctor sing 'those folks dressed up like all the hoes."
"Tha' does no' sound ver' Chistmasy."
"I like it! Very funny!" Amy muttered.
Rory thought for a moment, then decided to just start playing. The song he picked was "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."
The song commenced with the two of them-well, howling was the word that first came to mind. The two started out singing very quietly, almost whispering, "Have yourself a merry little Christmas," until the line 'Out of sight' (Rory ignored the Doctor's miming of out of sight) at which point the Doctor ordered him to play it down lower-and then Amy and the Doctor started singing very loudly, and not very well. Despite himself, the only drink Rory had made him join in.
The song ended with the whispered, "Have yourself, have yourself, have yourself a merry little Christmas NOOOWW!" Amy continued the note while the Doctor played air guitar in the background. A second later, the Doctor fell to the ground, asleep.
Amy smiled, "Merry Christmas, everyone!" She shouted, then after a moment of dizziness also fell to the ground, asleep.
Rory stared at the two of them, now snoring on the floor, and started to play Silver Bells. It seemed like the best course of action.
Thank you for reading this! Now, you know you want to Review…this close to Christmas, this close to the Special…Be charitable! Review, please! (We're not just asking for us, it's because you know you want to do a good thing, and what's better than knowing that your hard work was appreciated? Please?) Just a quick line would be fine.
Thank you for reading it! \_/) of tea for everyone who reviews! And it's not a true cup until you review, because I will send you the tea only review!