Hello, dear readers. This is my GG fic with lots of characters involved. Since they there are around 30+ characters in GG, I have to apologize because I will not be able to give equal attention to them. The main characters will have more attention. This fic is partly-crack, or crack, and was made without much effort. The quality of this fic is very low for me.
Christmas is a season for love and is a Christian holiday, but since the GG cast is like that, we can figure out that they celebrate it differently. If you want a serious fic, check the one I wrote last year, "Ma Mere."
"Happy Holidays!" the Creator greeted to his beloved children. A loud mic feedback screeched the ears of the audience. After adjusting something from an amplifier, the Creator smiled back from the stage. Some mice scampered behind the stacks of boxes. The tables were assembled and the chairs were plastic stool. The Creator's big grin shrunk "Eto… where is Jam Kuradoberi?"
"Sir, she's cooking for the Blazblue cast." Bridget politely replied.
"Ara? Why is that?" The Creator looked sad.
Potemkin grimly replied, "'Cause she's being paid double."
The Creator let out a sigh, he counted off each of his children from the stage; "Sol Badguy, Ky Kiske, May, Potemkin, Axl Low, Dizzy, Slayer and Sharon, Bridget, Anji Mito, Baiken, I-No, That Man, Raven, Valentine, Sin, Robo-Ky…" He shook his head in disappointment… "So few…" A small tear feel from The Creator's eye. "I'm sorry that we are in the basement… the Blazblue cast is partying in the lobby and The Company's staff is partying on the top floor…"
"Please, don't be crestfallen sir; we should thank the heavens that the basement was given to Guilty Gear. We are even more fortunate than the Battle Fantasia cast… who are in the parking lot." The knight, Ky Kiske, spoke as if he's giving a speech to a losing army.
"We would be loyal to you forever…" Potemkin bowed down, and stood up immedietly afterwards and cried, fist up in the air, "For the love of Guilty Gear!" Out of patriotism, Ky Kiske joined him as everybody else stared as the two passionately sung the Guilty Gear anthem (whichever it was).
The Creator wiped the tear from the corner of his eye. "That is very touching, Ky, Pot, but you may stop that now." The two immediately ceased their actions and stood up straight, "Yes Sir!" they answered and saluted. The Creator continued his speech, "Okay, but before we start I wanna ask why many didn't make it tonight… I really find it weird that even Chipp is not here."
"Try to find me!" A voice replied, but he was nowhere to be found.
Tired of Chipp's addiction to invisibility, the Creator ignored him and asked May instead, "Sweetie, where's your captain Johnny?"
May burst out weeping, "He's at the lobby! He chose those 12-year old triplets over me! My chest is even bigger than theirs!"
"12- year old triplets?" The invisible Chipp asked.
"Yeah, those with metal panties…" May replied sniffing.
"Metal panties?" Raven asked the guy beside him.
Axl whispered back to Raven "Oh, it's those girls with crotch plates."
"I still prefer crotch spikes," Raven answered, other guys nodded in agreement.
The Creator asked again, "Slayer, where are your assassins?"
" Millia said she found a split-end on her hair and lost her mood to come, Eddie hates accidentally got mixed up with that blob upstairs, and Faust and the breast woman are doing their best to separate them now. That child Venom, on the other hand, said that if Zato isn't coming, he isn't coming either." Slayer spoke with a poetic tone as he held his wife beside him.
"That's expected." That Man remarked, under his hood, but nobody heard him talk.
"ABA?" The Creator asked.
"Paracelsus is upstairs with Mori, she couldn't separate from him so she's there at the Blazblue party." Chipp answered, but remained invisible.
Dizzy was about to open her mouth to answer.
The Creator cut her off, "I forgot that I don't need to ask. Eto… I don't think I would ask for more details about the other characters. We should start the program now by gift giving!"
"No food!" Sin complained. "But-"
Sol punched him in the face, "Shut up."
Sin rubbed his cheek in pain, "Why did you-"
His "uncle" responded with another punch.
Ky rushed into the scene and hugged his kid, who looked disgusted. "Hey, that's child abuse!' He growled at Sol.
"Hah! Who committed child abandonment here?" Sol pointed at Ky's face mockingly.
The knight froze and fell down his knees, mumbling some words in the process.
Everyone was silent and nobody dared to speak except for Dizzy. "Um… you know, I cooked food for everyone… If you're hungry you just have to ask for food, no need for drama." She scolded them.
"But why are there no games?" That Man asked.
"Because every year we had people either cheating or meeting accidents. And Faust isn't here to help in case the same things happen." Bridget explained.
"Like what?" asked Valentine who was a first time attendee.
That Man, who had attended every party answered, "One time Sol's limiter fell and the building burned, Millia accidentally strangled someone with her hair, Potemkin crushed Axl one time, Dizzy crushed Ky in a newspaper dance last year because she was heavy, countless Robo-Ky's had exploded due to their perversions."
A robot gulped as Baiken stared at him with killer eyes.
"My dear children, since my gift to everyone is a surprise, I think you should all give first your individual presents." The Guilty Gear cast started walking around giving gifts.
"Hey boy, take this." Sol handed Ky a oven-sized box. "I have a lot of this and I figure out you'll need them."
Ky was surprised at Sol's sudden thoughtfulness, but grew suspicious as there was a slight grin on Sol's face. "Thank you, but I shall first inspect this…" The younger man opened the box and was greeted by hundreds of packs of… "Contraceptives! Artificial birth control! Damn you, Sol!" Electricity jolted out of his body. The older man ignored it and walked away.
Meanwhile, a young woman bounces around like a pogo stick. "Free feathers! Good for ink writing!" Dizzy walked around throwing her feathers like confetti. She accidentally bumped to Ky. "Oh, I'm sorry!"
"It's okay…" Ky said, looking all red and embarrassed as he held the box. "Oh, Dizzy, I have a gift for you." He handed her a rectangular, flat box. "I would appreciate if you open it now."
Dizzy excitedly pulled the blue ribbon from the white-wrapped present. She looked both surprised and dumbfounded as she saw some pads with garter straps inside. "What is this, Ky?"
"Brassieres my lady, I would also appreciate if you wear them now. I think you would look better if you wear one." Ky smiled politely while other guys around gave her a "you're going to be killed" look, he responded with a "you'll have to try" look.
"Brassieres? Okay, I'll try wearing them right now. I'll ask May to teach me. Thank you, Ky!" Dizzy ran off to the bathroom.
When everyone else was eating or giving presents, the Creator went up to the stage and spoke on the mic again, now with a radio on his hand. "Eto… Since everyone who has gifts has finished giving now, I shall now announce my gift to everybody." His voiced echoed throughout the internet and the cast gave him full attention. He continued, "The next Guilty Gear will be playable in PS3 and Xbox, and it will have bigger, high res sprites and animated cutscenes!"
A loud cheer was heard from Japan and the Guilty Gear cast hugged each other and cried, except for Sol, who remained scowling. "That's not a gift, that's an obligation." He muttered because he didn't like talking.
"And to the fangirls," the Creator continued as Sol Badguy covered his ears. "I shall draw five- no, ten- suggestive Sol and Ky artworks! And I'll hire a female J-Pop singer to sing their rivalry theme."
Ky spat the coconut juice he had been drinking, Sin puked, and Sol pretended not to hear anything as millions of fangirl glee-screams were heard throughout the universe. The forum servers crashed with new posts. The rivals had expected this, since every year Daisuke does these kinds of things, but this year was probably one of the worst.
"Aw come on, my kids, it's fanservice and it isn't canon."
"It isn't canon it isn't canon it isn't canon…" Ky chanted over and over to himself, the words gave him so much relief to cope with the shock.
"And now to my dear fanboys, I shall increase the bust-size of all the female characters by one cup!" All the internet servers crashed and hentai sites popped all over computer screen. I-No looked very, very happy.
May screamed, "Yehey!" Baiken received the news without reaction, because she knew bigger boobs wouldn't make her any less manly that she was now.
The Creator wiped a sweat on his forehead, "I should remind you fanboys again: Bridget is a boy." The servers went back to normal. "Oh, I forgot! The breast increase would not include May."
May pouted and sobbed as she stomped her feet on the ground. "I've been a loli for 12 years, when will I ever grow up!"
A loud squeal was heard from the bathroom and a blue-haired girl came running out. "Ky! Thaaaannk youuuuuuu!" She flew in high speed and hugged him. "Thank you for this 'bra,' I feel so comfortable." Dizzy was wearing her first bra, open for everyone to see. "From now on Ky, I'll be wearing bras every day, I feel that my chest is so supported and protected and it reminds me of your firm but gentle hands." She looked at him with a moe-moe face.
Ky's knees collapsed and his hand held his bleeding nose, "She got it wrong..."
"Awww, how cute…" The Creator, and everyone else in the room looked at her with a smile. He proceeded, "I shall now announce my gift to each person: to Raven, you'll be playable in 2D; to Axl, you'll have an artwork with your girlfriend; to Potemkin, you'll have a robo-clone; to Valentine, a new theme song; to That Man, a new bicycle; to I-No, new toys…"
I-No chuckled and licked her lips, her gaze went to Dizzy who looked as ignorant as ever.
"To Slayer, a daughter, meet her upstairs…"
"Do you hear that Sharon?" Slayer embraced her and said, "Is Rachel a good name?"
Sharon said "yes darling" without talking.
"Haha, I'm glad you're happy, now I shall announce the rest of the gifts: To Chipp, a Japanese dictionary; to Baiken, a Kenshin action figure; to Anji, free botox; to Bridget, boxer shorts; to Dizzy, another contract with the Queen's Blade franchise!"
Dizzy didn't understand why some of the men were cheering and asked May, "I'm going to be a queen?"
The man on the stage went on "To Sin, a game featuring Chimaki; and to Robo-Ky, nothing because you'll get scrapped soon."
"Bzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!" Robo-Ky wept in monotone. Ky gave a sign of the cross and silently prayed.
"Poor fella, but canon requires it… or not hehe…" The Creator laughed. "Anyway, since the last two people are the main characters I shall announce their gifts last: To my avatar Sol Badguy, your gift is… I will voice you again next game!"
Sol remained emotionless and yawned.
"Sol, why aren't you happy with my gift!"
"That's not a gift 'cause it's a damn obligation." Sol scowled and said nothing more, because he didn't like talking and he's a badass.
"Fine! Next game you'll have more dialogues!"
"Moving on, to my second protagonist Ky Kiske…" The young man stood up as his name was called, as if waiting to be bestowed by something honorable. "My dear Ky, next game you're going to have an off-screen love scene!"
"Sir, yes sir!" Ky answered like a military-man. The room was filled with laughter."Wait… w-what!" Ky stuttered, his face glowing red.
"Let me elaborate to you, off-screen sex scene hehe…"
Ky pulled out his crucifix and prayed, "This is bound to happen, forgive me for my sin…"
"Hey, you always, you always consider me as your sin!" Sin complained, hurt by his father's words and glared with hatred. His mother came running and comforted him. Sadly, Ky didn't seem to hear what Sin said.
"Arara…" The Creator shook his head. "Ky ain't doing it with a woman, he's doing it with Sol!"
The basement shook with laughter and millions of crazed fangirl screams resulted in an earthquake. Sin collapsed beside his father and Dizzy remained standing because she's ignorant. She asked wide-eyed, "What is that? Have I done that before?"
"Yes…" Sol replied as he removed his limiter.
"Is that the thing where Ky…" Dizzy mentioned something about walls and tables with her cute, childish voice. The cast was staring at her. "So the two of you will do that? But isn't it odd because…"
Sol exploded with the question and growled "Daisuke!" He charged with fire blazing on his dragon wings. The shock caused the roof of the room to explode and the Blazblue cast came crashing down with it. The anime characters emerged from the rubble with some injuries.
"Sol, it was a joke! It was a joke! It was a joke!" Daisuke ran desperately but it was too late as Sol grabbed the collar of his shirt.
"If you dare to make that kind of thing happen outside fanfiction I'll quit this job!"
"I promise I would never joke like that again-"
The Creator wasn't finished in his sentence when Ragna the Bloodedge came charging with his black aura towards Sol. "You bastard, how dare you ruin our party!"
Sol responded with a Tyrant Rave not noticing that almost the whole Blazblue cast was already waging war with them ~ except for Rachel, who ordered her butler around to fetch tea for her new parents. Taokaka bit Baiken's boobs while I-No caught Hazama's tie and dragged him under the table. That Man and Saya stared at each other and argued which of them had a better outfit. Potemkin and Tager dueled and brought the whole building down. Dizzy used her tentacles on Tsubaki and Noel. Jin froze Ky and Ky burned Jin. Bang and Chipp couldn't find each other.
The two Creators hugged and cried together. The Blazblue dad sniffed "Aren't our children wonderful?"
The Guilty Gear dad replied, "Yes, they're so amazing. Look, May and Platinum are killing each other. Aren't they cute?" Some surviving staff came out of the rubbles and watched the battle, clapping and remarking how they made something so successful.
Meanwhile, few kilometers away from the ruins of the Arc building, Testament was having a picnic with his beloved potatoes in a snowy park. "I guess… Dizzy cannot come and comfort me in my loneliness. But you Mr. Potato, you're always here with me…"
Fanfiction dot net doesn't allow real people to be included in fanfiction. But since Daisuke and Mori are common Japanese names, and I didn't mention a single proper noun the real life society associated with the creators of Guilty Gear and Blazblue, I guess there is no problem.