Title: I Don't Like Your Girlfriend

Author: Tali

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything to do with its fandom. I am not making money off of this fiction. This is in no way representative of canon.

Summary: Sasuke returns to find Sakura and Naruto dating and all hell breaks loose.

~ Set in a modern day American high school ~

A/N: I cheated; modern day American high school was just easier for me to write. Funny bit… I wrote this listening to a Japanese copy of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend"! o.O Ahh the inner workings of Tali's mind. I know you'd all prefer I work on Broken Promises but I'm having Dr. Pepper and Jelly Belly jelly beans… which is akin to crack for me. So, writing that might turn it into something scary right now. Bwahahaha… who know what else will come out of me tonight. I'm free of pressie duty! (written last night in a sugar induced haze… NOT BETA)

Hands stuffed in his jeans Sasuke sighed. He never expected to come back to this town. After his mother and father had been killed in a mugging his brother had insisted Sasuke come live with him and Itatchi had chosen to stay and run a dojo in this stupid place. So Sasuke had transferred out of his high class private high school and sent to the town's local public school. He and Itatchi had gone round and round about that. He'd insisted private school was better for him and Itatchi insisted it was turning him into a snob and killing his social skills. Personally Sasuke thought his brother was trying to ruin his life. The summer had passed in slow torture as he'd been ordered to get a job because it would teach him responsibility. Which Sasuke felt was ridiculous because they were filthy rich. Then to top his miserable summer off his brother had made him buy his own school cloths from his earnings that summer. "Miser." He muttered moving through the halls.

Black bangs hung in his face, the black t-shirt bearing the Fullmetal Alchemist symbol in red adorned his slim figure followed by a red and black check belt and slim fit black hipster jeans and the silver chain attached to the wallet in his back pocket. He'd slipped a white wrist band on that morning once he reached the kitchen and smirked as his brother had groaned at his attire and told Sasuke all he was missing was black eyeliner. Sasuke had slipped the pencil from his pocket and slid it across his lids in the shiny toaster making Itatich throw his hands up and leave the room. That memory brought a smile to his face when he heard a familiar voice. Looking up wide eyed he swallowed. After being here all summer and having not seen Naruto Sasuke had simply assumed the other boy had moved away at some point. Evidently he'd been wrong because right before him stood the blond sex god.

He was tall at least as tall as Sasuke himself, with a bright halo of sunny hair, sun kissed hair and bright blue eyes dancing with mischief. His jeans fit but were not tight, except Sasuke noticed across his ass. He had a white t-shirt on mighty mouse on the front and an orange hoody over that. Sasuke rolled his eyes at the stupid hoody, "Same Naruto then."

"Hey, Sasuke… you in there?" Shino frowned at his friend. They'd worked together at the record store over the summer and found they had a lot in common. "Hu? Yeah… just, recognized someone from before I moved away." The black haired boy shrugged. "You mean Naruto? He just got from visiting his weird uncle. The man writes porn for a living. His girlfriend hates the old guy but he's pretty cool, don't know what Sakura's problem with him is." Shino tugged Sasuke away from the growing group of jocks as Kiba joined Naruto along with Choji, Lee and the girls, Ino, Tenten and Sakura. Sasuke's last glimpse was of the pink haired girl attaching herself to Naruto's arm and the blond leaning down to give her a kiss. He sneered and shook his head. "I have someone I wanted you to meet." Shino told him as they headed for the courtyard Sasuke blinked as the bright sun accosted him. A boy with shoulder length brown hair stood in the shade of a tree leaning against it as he smoked a cigarette wearing dark jeans and red converse tennis shoes with a white button down shirt untucked and red neck tie over the top. He was talking to another boy who had waist length brown hair like a river of chocolate down his back wearing simple black jeans and a white t-shirt with black boots. Leaning against him resting on the bench stretched out was a boy who looked much younger than the rest, with dark black circles around bright green eyes and pale skin, on his forehead was a kanji symbol for love in blood red. The symbol was framed by fire red hair and he was dressed similarly to Sasuke in slim fit black jeans but he was in a green t-shirt which sported that happy bunny fucker but with his head cut off and little exes where his eyes should have been. Smirking Sasuke already liked that one.

Shino lead him over and grinned, "Guys this is Sasuke, the guy who I worked with in the record store this year." He lifted a finger and pointed to each. "This is Shikamaru, he's too smart to be popular. Neji, honestly I think he's just here for Gaara." At that Neji leaned back wrapping a possessive arm over Garra's shoulder his hand wresting on the red head's flat belly. "And this is Gaara." Sasuke blinked. "But I thought Gaara was your boyfriend?" He hoped he hadn't just stepped in it. "He's mine this week… we trade." Shino laughed when the yaoi manga in Gaara's hand smacked Nije's stomach. "Do you have to put it that way?" Green eyes glared up at the brunette. Shikamaru was choking because he'd taken a drag just before Neji spoke up. "You'd rather he said you were a little cock tease who can't make up his mind?" Stepping back he looked between the three boys and shook his head. "Ok I'm not gonna even pretend that isn't weird. You're both dating him?" Shino shrugged. "And each other. Well that's more sex." Blowing smoke out Shikamaru decided to break it down. "They date Gaara and fuck each other… basically they're horny perverts. Gaara not making up his mind gives them an out to basically fuck around together." Sasuke chuckled shaking his head. "At least the three of you won't have a problem with me being gay." Neji frowned. "We're all gay Sasuke." Standing Shikamaru gathered his bag rolling his eyes. "Not all of us. I am an equal opportunity player." Gaara snorted and got up following, Naji grabbing both of their bags. "What you mean is you're an 'any hole in a storm' guy. YOU are a bigger slut then me." Shikamaru just shrugged. "Give me your schedule." Gaara demanded, it quickly became obvious who the actual leader of their little group was. Looking it over he frowned. "First and third with Shika… fourth and fifth with Neji and it looks like we have second together but you're on your own for seventh and eighth." He handed Sasuke off to Shikamaru as the other three headed in the opposite direction. "Are you my body guard or something?" The brunette shrugged leading the raven into a class. "We tend to stick together. Some of the other's don't like our… open mindedness or how we dress, or just our faces." Sighing Sasuke took a seat in the back and put his head down. Great just what he needed a school full of homophobic ass holes who didn't like anything not white bread.

Classes were pretty easy, thanks to private school he was easily a year ahead and that meant he basically could skate through it. It was easy to see who the bullies were. A boy named Kiba gave Gaara a hard time, mostly for turning his friend queer. Evidently before Gaara can into his life Shino had been good friends with the kid with anger management issues. In fact for every friend he had in a class he seemed to have one of the 'jocks' each of whom seemed to have had a relationship of some sort before high school. Seemed high school was some sort of great equalizer and separated every one out into the sheeple and those who refused to be anything less than themselves. In two classes he'd been subjected to the pink girl, who was Naruto's girlfriend apparently. She went on and on about how she'd made Naruto buy her an expensive bracelet when he got back because he'd been gone all summer. "Can you believe it Ino, isn't it perfect? He brought me some stupid comic or something and a cheap cat plushy. Ugh so when we went out all I had to do was pout and pull out the sad eyes and he was blond putty in my hands." The two girls giggled. The next class he'd shared with her was worse because she was telling the blue eyed girl all about Naruto rounding the bases and how she found the relationship much easier now that they were having sex, because he'd do just about anything she wanted if she hinted that she was in the mood. By seventh period he was fairly sure he was in high school hell. "Totally going to murder my brother to get access to my trust fund." He wasn't paying attention just heading for a desk at the back of the class. "Sasuke?" It was a low whisper and his head snapped up and blue eyes were staring at him in shock. After the day he'd had the last thing Sasuke wanted was deal with getting abused in any way but his dream guy.

He'd like to just keep him a distant pleasant memory. He'd been dreaming about the sunny little Idiot he'd gone to grade school with until he was twelve. The only who'd fought his father when they'd decided to move away with Sasuke. Naruto had been his first kiss. Naruto had cried when he left. He didn't think he could take Naruto being a complete ass hole now. "Hn." He waited, unsure of he really wanted to hear what the other boy had to say. "Holy shit! Sasuke." Standing Naruto hugged him and laughed. "When did you get back? I can't believe you're really real. This is awesome." Finally he let go and blinked at the dark black eyes. Stepping back he took in Sasuke's attire and felt his mouth go dry. There was just no way any man got to be that hot. Sasuke had been his best friend and Naruto had missed him terribly every day he'd been gone Naruto had bugged Itatchi for three years to get Sasuke's address and every day Itatchi gave him the same answer. 'He's not ready yet.' Naruto had no fucking clue what Itatchi had meant but he figured it was one of those creepy weird ninja things. Sasuke was stiff and blinking when Naruto stepped back. "Idiot." He muttered rolling his eyes and blushing a little. "My brother made me come back after my parents died. He's my guardian now. I got here at the beginning of this summer." Naruto slid into his desk still grinning. "If I'd known I might have come back earlier. Grandma Tsunade had started harping on me by July." Sasuke flashed a smile as Naruto started talking like they hadn't been parted for three years. Sasuke would be seventeen soon, followed shortly by Naruto and that thought made him very happy. Sasuke was about to sit in the desk to Naruto's right when a throat cleared. He looked over and noticed the pink haired girl tapping an irritated foot. When she saw his handsome face, she plastered a smile on her face. "I'm sorry but that's my seat. Aren't you in a couple of my classes?" Her lashes fluttered. Naruto frowned at Sakura's rudeness and then rolled his eyes as she started flirting. "Sakura… this is Sasuke." She blinked and then giggled. "That kid in the pictures in your room. Wow, he grew up." She flashed another of those fake shy smiles. "You can sit in front of…" Naruto glared suddenly. "Me… Ino sits in front of Sakura so you should sit in front of me. People tend to hate sitting in front of me." He flashed a toothy bright grin. "Because you fuck with them and pull pranks most classes?" Blushing and looking down Naruto rolled his eyes; of course Sasuke would have his number. Sasuke slid between the desk and Naruto's unintentionally letting his ass slide across Naruto's desk and line of sight. Naruto couldn't help but look and once more his mouth went dry, this was not good. He was with Sakura and Sasuke smelled really good. Shaking his head he turned to look at Sakura, "Are we going out tonight?" He usually let her make their plans it was easier then fighting with her about things. "Uh, no Ino needs a girl's night. Sorry Naruto, maybe tomorrow. She's a mess because of that whole Shikamaru thing. I can't believe you introduced them." She scoffed checking her gloss in the mirror. "Hey, Shika's a great guy. He plays basketball like a demon and he's brilliant." Naruto defended. "He's also kind of hot." Sasuke added over his shoulder as he got his book, note pads and notebook out. He didn't see Sakura blinking in shock and disappointment or Naruto's wide eyed panic. All the blond could hear was sirens blaring and a voice likely Tsunade's saying 'Warning. Warning Naruto Uzumaki. Danger. Danger.' Sasuke was gay and thought Nara was hot. The last part made Naruto frown. When Sasuke turned to ask Naruto a question he saw the frown and sighed. "Is this a problem Naruto?" When he didn't get an answer he felt something drop in his stomach and started to gather his things, while growling about homophobic tiny picked jock bastard. Reaching out with one hand falling on Sasuke's slim shoulder Naruto swallowed at the heat he felt there. "Hey, hey Sasuke. It's not a problem for me. I'm still friends with Gaara and Shika and the other guys… you just surprised me." Frowning he looked suspiciously at Naruto before nodding and settling back in his seat as class started.

Halfway through a note slid onto his lap and he frowned opening it he blinked. : Sakura says you're gay but I bet you were just bi… if you want we could go out some time. – Ino : Looking over at the blond to his right he couldn't believe the note. Shaking his head he wrote back a simple, : No thanks. : He wasn't sure how to put 'pussy doesn't do it for me' nicely. Then he passed the note back. The blond's disappointment was obvious but she bit her lip. Turning to whisper with Sakura and show her the note. Sasuke rolled his eyes, teen-aged girls were really annoying. Class finally ended and Sasuke made it to his final period and was pleased to discover Naruto was in that class too, even more pleased to realize Sakura wasn't. This time when the note was passed to him it was from Naruto. : Want to hang out tonight? : Grinning Sasuke scribbled a quick. :Where and when?: Before passing it back. :I'll pick you up from your place at six.: Sasuke nodded and looked down at his notes smile hidden behind his hair.

The next six weeks were a blur. He spent his mornings with his friends in various classes, his afternoons listening to Naruto's Super Slut talk about what manipulative thing she'd done to get what she wanted, he was really starting to hate her, and his afternoons in class with Naruto. They'd started competing almost immediately. First it had been test scores, then overall average, and even note passed word games. Twice a week he spend evenings with Naruto and the rest of the time was usually spent with the guys. It was on one such night spent laying on Shikamaru's bedroom floor, with Shika's head in his lap looking up at the clouds painted on his ceiling, Gaara, Neji and Shino as close to cuddling as the three ever got on Shika's bed that Sasuke frowned. "Why is Naruto dating the little bitch?" He asked out of the blue. Gaara snorted the soda he was drinking and started choking. Shika sat up grinning, "Oh thank GOD. None of us wanted to bring it up. Are you two like secretly together or something? He's never ditched Sakura to spend time with anyone else." Sitting up straighter against the wall Sasuke shrugged and shook his head. "What? No. We were friends from a long time ago. He was my best friend. We just sort of picked up where we left off is all. And we only hang out when she's too busy. He cancels all the time." Gaara raised a brow at the raven and sighed. "But he always makes it up to you, because you've bailed on us before. Guys only bail on their friends for one reason." All of the other boys in the room nodded at him. Sasuke blushed pulling his knees up. "We're not dating or anything like that. We just hang out and watch movies or go watch the planes by the airport." Shino looked at him. "But you want there to be." Sighing Sasuke stood. "I just think he can do better than her. He's my friend guys, leave it alone." Gathering his things Sasuke decided to walk home instead of waiting to catch a ride with Neji. He was half way home when he passed Naruto's house and stopped looking up at the window, for just a moment he thought about climbing up the side of the house and onto the porch roof like he used to and surprising Naruto. Just before he took his first step onto Naruto's lawn he saw the flash of pink in the other boy's room. Shaking his head Sasuke went the rest of the way home. Sasuke spent the next two weeks with an odd feeling, he was sure he was imagining it but Naruto seemed to be acting differently. Sasuke would catch him starring at him from across the cafeteria, or his hand would linger when he passed Sasuke notes. When they hung out Naruto had stopped choosing loud public places opting more and more for tv or movies at his place or Sasuke's. He was starting to lose it a little.

"Guys, I don't know what to do!" He flopped next to Shika under the tree one afternoon and groaned putting his head on his friend's shoulder. "You could start by telling him you like him." Shikamaru smirked looking down at Sasuke. "You could tell him you don't like his girlfriend." Gaara grinned. "Yeah and what will that accomplish?" Shrugging Gaara said. "You could offer to be his new girlfriend. It's obvious he likes you Sasuke, he hardly takes his eyes off of you and you two are spending more and more time together." Looking up the raven haired boy bit his lip. "You think? I was sure I was imagining all of that." All four of the other boys groaned. "YES."

When Sasuke agreed to go out two nights later with Naruto he'd made a decision. Naruto had said something about going out to get some dinner and maybe see that new Sci-fi flick. So Sasuke dressed for going out. Naruto's jaw dropped when Sasuke opened the door. The raven's hair was spiked up in back, his bangs perfectly straight around his face black coal smeared under his eyes. The soft grey cotton t-shirt was at least two sizes too small and worst of all he had on tight black leather pants over black boots. He tried to swallow as Sasuke grinned and reached for his jacket. "Ready?" He looked up at Naruto expectantly. He secretly smirked as Naruto took in his outfit and was warring about something with himself. "Uh, what? Yeah…" Turning he glanced back over his shoulder as Sasuke opened his wallet and pocketed a few items. In the car he raised a brow at his friend. "You aren't bringing your wallet?" Grinning Sasuke shook his head. "Not in these. I barely fit in them." Naruto glared biting his tongue. He was heading for cinema when he turned toward his place. "Yeah, change of plan though…I'm broke after yesterday with Sakura so do you mind if we just hang at my place? Tsunade's out of town so we can hang out in the living room. "Um, sure… I have cash so we can order a pizza or something." Nodding Naruto couldn't help but feel relieved the idea of taking Sasuke out looking like that bugged the hell out of him. Why did he have to be so good looking?

The pizza was ordered and they settled on the sofa with a couple of tea's. Flipping through channels until the pizza arrived. "So Sakura drained you dry yesterday hu?" Sasuke glanced over toward Naruto. "Yeah… kind of. She loves to shop and we had a fight… I don't know it's just easier that way." Frowning Sasuke looked at Naruto. "I don't like your girlfriend." Sitting up Naruto scowled. "What? Why not, Sakura's great. She's pretty and kind of smart and she's a cheer leader" Holding his hand up Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Stop. She's a bitch. A manipulative, gold digging slut. She openly talks about how all she has to do is mention she might want to fuck and you roll over and play dead. Or when she wants something you buy it for her if she pulls out the puppy eyes. She's not a good person and she's a total bitch to everyone not in her circle. Do you know Ino and Shika didn't work out because Sakura convinced Ino she was dating below her social status? They liked each other, who does that to a friend?" Naruto frowned looking down. "I know you like me. I like you too… I have for years Naruto. You can do so much better than her. If it's not me, that's ok. But, I haven't dated any one since I got here and I've been asked out. Next time I'm accepting it and I might…" Sasuke was cut off from his well rehearsed speech by Naruto's mouth over his own. Breaking apart Naruto's eyes danced, "Hey, Sasuke will you go out with me?" Blinking a little from the kiss Sasuke nodded. Laughing as Naruto dragged him across the sofa and to straddle the blond's lap. "Good, cause I've been wanting to do this since you slid that cute ass of yours across my desk the first day back." Reaching around he squeezed the perfectly round leather incased ass. "I thought I was going to die when I saw you in this get up. There was no way I could take you out looking like this." Pouting Sasuke kissed down Naruto's neck. "It's one of my favorites." Sasuke grinned at Naruto's response. The kissing turned heated and Naruto's hands were caught in Sasuke's locks as the kiss deepened further. Moaning they started rocking their hips together. "SHIT." The bell rang and it was the pizza man, when Sasuke answered with the cash the boy looked Sasuke up and down and the dark haired boy just grinned. "Wow you're hot." The slightly shocked pizza boy stuttered. "Like what you see?" The boy was about to respond when Naruto put a possessive arm around Sasuke from behind. "You should go. Here's a tip for you, don't hit on guys with really jealous boyfriends." When the door closed Naruto popped the pizza into the oven which he set on warm. Turning back to pick up where he'd left off with Sasuke only to find the other boy with crossed arms. "Shouldn't you end things with Sakura before calling me your boyfriend? Frowning Naruto kissed Sasuke before pushing him onto the sofa. "Tomorrow morning I'll break it off. I promise." Glaring up at Naruto, Sasuke shook his head. "Which would make you a cheating bastard if we slept together now which is not appealing to the person you're trying to start a relationship with." Sighing Naruto nodded, he knew his friend was right but he was also hot and laying under the blond boy's body conforming to it so perfectly. Sasuke was the other half to his whole and he needed to speak to Sakura first thing. "Ok, I'll talk to her tomorrow." It took all his will power but he got up from where he'd maneuvered himself over Sasuke onto the couch. "So does this mean you're gonna be my girlfriend?" Sasuke gave a wicked grin. "We'll let you decide boyfriend or girlfriend. If you're really nice in your answer I will show you my tattoo." The blond's eyes glazed over a bit. "Fucking cock tease, Sasuke Uchiha."

It was a huge scandal in the halls of the small high school. Sakura had been dumped by one of the hottest nicest guys in school for another guy. She'd been so mad she'd hit him and Naruto ended up with a swollen lip. He didn't mind he was pretty sure he deserved it for what he was doing to her reputation wise and he was pretty used to it, Sakura was a hitter. Sasuke on the other hand had been furious and Naruto left the court yard running after him while the other four boys trailed in amused curiosity. Neji restrained Naruto once Sasuke reached Sakura. "Hey, Bitch." He pushed through the small circle of people around the crying pink haired girl. "What could you possibly want you home wrecking little fag." He stepped right into her face and furiously she moved to throw a punch but Sasuke caught it. "That was stupid, my brother owns a fucking dojo." Pushing her back into the lockers he growled in her face. "If you EVER lay a fucking hand on my boyfriend again, he might not hit you back because he's too good to hit a girl, just remember I'm not." Leaning in he whispered into her ear. "And I won't hesitate to tell the whole fucking school about those pictures of you Naruto took. I've got the negatives." Hinata was holding Kiba back glaring at him. "No. She deserves this. She's treated Naruto badly for years now." It was rare for Hinata to speak back especially to her rowdy boy friend. After that both Naruto and Hinata started taking lunch with Sasuke and Neji. Hinata walked out into the court yard giggling and sat down in the shade of the tree next to Shikamaru. After plucking the cigarette from his lips and putting it out, she looked at Sasuke. "On the way to school I heard a song on Kiba's car radio. "It reminded me of you." Reaching into her bag she passed over her iPhone. "I just finished purchasing it. The last song, it's called Girlfriend." Sasuke frowned but slid the earbud to his ear and listened. Blushing he thumped his head to his knees. When Naruto came out with juice for them both he started laughing then pressed the ear bud to Naruto's ear starting the song over. This time Naruto blushed, "Sasuke!"