DISCLAIMER: I don't own Degrassi or anything else.

Two stories in one day? Yeah I'm just as surprised as you are. Consider it my Christmas present to you. This one is a lot less depressing or sweet than the last few I've posted, and the next chapter or two will definitely verge on naughty.

Twitter: themusiksnob

Eli walked out of the bathroom in Fiona's loft, holding a wet paper towel to his forehead and looking worse than I had ever seen him.

"Woah, Eli, too much champers?" Fiona giggled.

He shook his head. "Food poisoning." He looked at me, his cheeks a nasty green color. "Can you get a cab home? I've got some cash if you need it. I want to get home right away."

"I've got my mom's car," Holly J said. "I can give Baby Edwards a ride home."

"And you'll cover for me?" Adam asked. "If my mom calls."

"Of course. I'll call you tomorrow, Clare. Fiona, have a great time in New York and good luck with college and everything," Eli said. He stopped in the kitchen to grab a plastic grocery bag before he left.

"That sucks that Eli's sick," Adam said. "Puts a damper on Fi's last night."

"Yeah, it does." Fiona latched onto Adam's neck, and he let out a murmur that I really wish I didn't have to hear.

"And that sounds like our cue to exit," Holly J said. "I've got some packing to do anyway."

Fiona tore herself away from Adam long enough to give Holly J a huge hug. "There's a train from Manhattan to New Haven. I expect that you'll be on it frequently," Holly J said.

Fiona laughed. "Like I'm really going to take the train. But I will be there, chauffeured limousine or not. I love you, Holly J."

I was surprised to see the usually stoic Holly J Sinclair wiping a tear from her eye. "I love you too, Fi."

I felt a little embarrassed intruding on their moment, and when they separated I gave Fiona a quick hug. We had gotten closer over the past few months that she had been dating Adam, and I was definitely going to miss her. "Email me when you get there. And keep in touch," I told her.

"Have fun," I winked at Adam as I followed Holly J out the door. Based on his grin, I had a feeling they were planning a nice last night together.

"Ugh, the two of them are so gross. I'm surprised they waited for us to leave before they started ripping each others' clothes off," Holly J said, as she unlocked her car and we climbed in. "Every time I try to talk to Fiona, she's always like, 'Gotta go, Adam's here,' or 'Holly J, you've never lived until you've gone down…" She stopped talking and glanced at me. "I'm sorry; I'm probably offending your virgin ears."

I laughed. I hadn't realized Adam and Fiona had gotten quite that far, but as far as I was concerned, it was good for him. I knew how many body issues he had before they had gotten together, and I was glad Fiona had helped him stop hiding himself, even if his physical experience didn't match up with his mental one.

Holly J turned the key in the ignition, but turned to look at me. "I'm surprised you're not saying a prayer for me. Or for them, for that matter"

"I'm glad she makes Adam so happy. I just wish she wasn't going away to college this year. It's going to crush him when she leaves."

"So it doesn't bother you that the two of them are probably screaming out God's name in vain right now?"

I knew Holly J was just trying to get a rise out of me. I didn't know her very well, but I knew she hadn't exactly gotten along with my sister, and the few times we had hung out in a group this summer, she was always teasing me. But Holly J wasn't exactly the first thing on my mind. "At least somebody's enjoying it," I muttered.

"Maybe if you'd let Eli past second base, you would enjoy it."

It was times like these that made me wish I had a girlfriend with some experience. Alli, for all her boy drama, had sex one awful time, and Fiona obviously had done stuff but since it was with Adam it wasn't exactly the same. Obviously asking Darcy for advice was out of the question.

"I'm the third house on the right." My voice cracked a little and I stared out the window.

She pulled up in front of my house and her expression softened. "Clare, is there something you want to talk about?"

That was the first time she hadn't referred to me as Baby Edwards or Saint Clare and for some reason that made me feel comfortable enough tell her my biggest secret.

"I had sex with Eli."

Her eyebrows raised. She shook her head a little, and turned off the ignition. "Wow, I wasn't expecting that." She waited for me to say something, but when I did, she asked, "So you didn't…enjoy it?"

"No, I did," I said quickly. "He was so sweet to me, and it only hurt a little the first time."

"The first time, eh? How long has this been going on?"

I blushed. "For about a month. Since my birthday."

She grabbed my left hand and peered at my ring. I ripped my hand from hers. "Are you ever going to take this thing off?"

"I don't want my parents to know," I said softly.

Holly J gave me a hard look. "You know, you don't have to be ashamed of having sex with your boyfriend. You're in love with him, right? And you were safe, I presume?"

I nodded. "I'm not ashamed." I said. "It's just my parents would never let me out of the house with him again, if they knew."

"Glad that's one thing I don't have to deal with." I looked at her in surprise. "I don't trade sex tips with my mother or anything but she let me spend the summer in New York with Declan. She didn't think we would spend all of our nights holding hands on the couch."

"That must be nice."

"Well, that's what you've got Holly J for." She poked me in the side. "Seriously, the idea of going back to my apartment and packing my life into boxes for the second time in a year kind of freaks me out, as does the fact that in three days, I'm going to Yale and have to deal with the fact that I'm not dating Declan even though we're living in the same dorm, and that Sav and I didn't exactly end things on the happiest note. Fixing your sex life sounds awesome to me right now."

Those felt like the most heartfelt words I had ever heard come out of Holly J's mouth. "I'd invite you in, but I don't want my mom to hear."

She laughed. "Car's fine, Clare." She turned the key so that the air conditioning and CD player came back on. She had an old Weezer album that Eli really liked on and the song 'Tired of Sex' came blaring out of her speakers, and we both cracked up. She turned the volume down.

"So what's the problem? Eli's so emo he prematurely ejaculates? You're too frigid from all the years of wearing a chastity belt to hit the big O?"

My eyes widened at her blunt words. "No!"

"You realize you're going to have to tell me what the problem is before I can give you advice right?"

She had a point. And me telling her was probably a lot better than her guessing every possible thing in such embarrassing ways.

"We've done it like…five different times. And it feels good, don't get me wrong. I like being with him like that. And he is really great, if I need him to go slow, he will, or if I want him to pick up the pace, he does."


"But it's really…emotionally satisfying…but it hasn't quite crossed the line into physically satisfying. And I'm not really sure what we're doing wrong."

"I know you enjoy the same Fortnight fanfics that I do, but you know those stories aren't real, right? I mean, just because you're having sex doesn't mean you automatically get multiple screaming orgasms because the guy touched you."

"I know that…" I took a deep breath. "But maybe…one would be nice?"

Holly J took one look at my face and cracked up. "Oh, Clare Edwards, this conversation is your punishment for mocking me after you brought a vibrator to school."

"It wasn't mine!" I covered my face with my hands. I couldn't believe I was trying to have a serious conversation with Holly J about this.

"Sure it wasn't, sweetie. But that's not the issue here. Or I guess, it's related. Have you ever…?"

I cut her off, immediately. "No!"

"So you haven't had an orgasm?"

Oh. That's what she was asking. "Oh, no, I have."

"You're sure?"

I thought back to the last time Eli and I were at his house alone, before my birthday. "Oh yeah," I said, trying to keep my memories of that moment out of my voice.

Apparently I didn't do such a good job of keeping it off my face. "Gross, Clare. Keep it in your pants."

"Sorry," I said weakly.

"And what caused this miracle of modern science?"


Holly J sighed. "Doing?"

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "Either with his fingers or mouth or both."

"Okay, well I'm going to assume his mouth isn't going to be much use to you in this situation unless he is freakishly flexible, and if he's anything like my exes, his brain is too scattered during sex to make his fingers do much of anything."

Holly J was not really helping me feel any less frustrated. "So I just have to hope for a miracle? I mean, he's so excited that we're sleeping together that he's not exactly going all out with the foreplay anymore."

"Well that is something you should talk to him about. Because sex or no sex, foreplay is always fun and will probably make the sex itself better."

"I guess."

"I hate to break it to you, Saint Clare, but if you really want to have la petit mort while Eli's banging your brains out, you're just going to have to take care of it yourself."

"You mean…?" As if this conversation wasn't embarrassing enough already.


I tried to wrap my head around doing that…especially in front of Eli.

"Isn't there some kind of position that we could try?"

"Well, girl on top is always fun, and doggystyle is a personal fave, but seriously, Clare, there's no magic answer. Some girls get off from sex alone, but most don't. Nothing to be ashamed of. You just need to figure out what works for you."

"I don't really know what works for me," I admitted.

"Should have practiced with the sex toy." Holly J glanced at the clock on the car dashboard. "Okay, it is officially time for me to go home and pack and for you to go practice." I made a face. "Go inside, and read some sexy fanfic and when you're really starting to feel it, just try it. If you really have to, wait until tomorrow and have some phone sex with Eli to get yourself in the mood. But you've got to get comfortable with yourself before you'll be able to do that with him."

I thought for a moment. I could do this. "Okay…Thanks, Holly J." I opened the door as she turned the car back on.

"And Clare?" she called through the lowering passenger side window. "It was nice chatting with you and all but no need to keep me updated on your progress." She drove away and I shook my head. Did that really happen?