Uncover the Memories
Beast boy awoke to the sound of his alarm going off in ringing echos of his all too empty room. He warily sat up on his top bunk, head spinning with the wrecked room. Through blurry vision he looked around the mass carnage that he had been cornered into. 'What happened last night?' he thought in a practically drunkenly way inside of his dazed mind.
Sniffing once the smell of blood hit his nostrils full force. The aroma was cold, rusty, and notably his own.
Taking in another heavy breath he forced his brain to stop spinning with the confusion and his eyes to focus on the mess that was left of his room. It all seemed like a bad flash back into the past; back when his inner beast had been unknowingly taking tolls over him emotionally and physically. His room was a mess as usual but it was more than that.
The claw markings that stretched out over the walls and dug into random pieces of furniture that had more than likely gotten in his way of rampage, blood stains dotted the wall, floor, ceiling, and everything else that was littered destructively over his room...it looked like a crimson red hell had run through the trashed space he had called a "room".
"Dude...what did I do?" he asked himself aloud rubbing his head and blinking his eyes rapidly making sure what he was seeing was real and not a trick. Jumping down from his bed Beast boy walked over to the claw marks, his steps wary and unsure. Running his fingers over the length of one of the gashes he shuddered. This wasn't just being ticked off, this wasn't even anger.
This was rage.
Beast Boy jerked his hand away from his wall as a heavy hand pounded away on his door. He sighed heavily the smell of cool metal seeping through the metal door; Cyborg. Something in him didn't want his best friend in his room. To see this...out burst of fury scattered and damaging his room so openly...it made him insecure.
"Beast boy get up! We ain't got no time to be sleeping! Terra's missing!" Cyborg yelled through the steel doors. Nothing happened for a minute.
Cyborg's frenzied beating faded into the back ground. The scars on the wall melted away until all he saw was black, the smell of blood and tears drifted away until there was nothing. Everything just went away and he was stuck with knowing that the girl he loved had run away again...again.
Was his love not enough for her? Did he not do something right? Had he not held her close enough at night. When she smiled and told him she loved him...was it all a lie?
Beast Boy's senses seemed to dim in the reality of the future around him. His head swung in the darkness that he had seen that was slowly beginning to puff up with flashes of bursting lights of every color.
"You get no second chances. Only to mend what seems broken." a humbly fierce voice whispered around him in the blankness of dark nothingness.
And as Beast Boy let the words slip away from around him into the hole of black, he slipped away into the darkness too. Back to the night before...
He and Terra had wanted to play another round of Monkey Brothers 6. One round turned into two, which soon became three and ended at ten with a horribly defeated Beast Boy and a triumphant Terra lingering around the main room.
"Dude! Not fair!" he had yelled throwing the remote control at the ground in his defeat pulling at his short green hair at the blinking screen that displayed his lose in vibrant colors. Terra jumped up off the couch bouncing around tauntingly, "Oh yeah! That's skill baby!" she exclaimed falling back on the couch smiling proudly at beating her boy friend.
Beast Boy looked at her in a mix of envy and embarrassment his green gems glimmering with defeat. Terra smiled sweetly as she batted her eyelids over her shimmering baby blue orbs, "Oh baby don't get emotional! Maybe one day you'll have my skill." Terra had said landing next to him and leaning her head on his shoulder.
Beast boy's ears had laid down in his defeat but with one last sigh he let it go; Terra had won the game and she was his girl friend...if it made her happy he wasn't going to sulk about it. Lightly pecking his check Terra had giddily bounced up off the couch and happy-danced her way to the kitchen. "Want something to drink?" she had asked curiously as she leaned half her body into the fridge. "Nah." he'd replied nonchalantly turning around on the couch and watching Terra, a dreamy smile forming on his lips as she goofily danced around going through the cabinets for no apparent reason.
Leaning up on her tip-toes to peek into a higher pantry Terra glanced at a few stacked rows of beautiful china that was darkly designed and boxes of...something."Hey," Terra's curious voice brought Beast Boy out of his meandering daydreams and back to reality. "What's this?" she asked turning around holding a small packet between two pinched fingers as if it contained some deadly plague.
But Beast Boy knew what was in the little folded paper container, and he knew who it belonged to just as well.
And something in him didn't want Terra touching what was hers.
"Aye! Don't touch that stuff!" he barked out harshly as he jumped over the couch and rushed up to Terra, roughly snatching the packet of tea away from her. "It's Rae-Rae's." Beast Boy murmured gently a defensive growl sneaking into his tone.
The insecure and emotional blonde quirked an eyebrow instantly going into an attack."Rae-Rae, huh?" Terra spat questioningly putting her hands on her hip and tilting her head so her hair covered her right eye that was just burning with a fire kindled by insecurity, jealousy, and defensiveness.
Beast boy could feel his green cheeks burning red with a blush in the moonlight and the glow of the TV. "Y-Yeah. It's her nickname. Whats wrong with it?" he said looking at Terra, twisting the packet around his fingers unsure to be nervous or go on the defensive. A small, irritated smirk pursed against Terra's lips as she spoke."Ooh nothing. She has several nicknames. And nothings wrong with any of them,"
In his naïve way Beast Boy thought it was over and the beginning to Terra's snapping was the end.
How terribly wrong he had been...
"Other than the fact almost all of her nicknames were made by you." Terra seethed bluntly through a hard frown. "And, me, your girl friend is just...T. The first letter of my first name." every word was spoken with the utmost hatred and spite. Usually Beast Boy would have tried to fight back with jokes and a few light hugs and kisses, but something once again was different in the way he was about to react. Something...primal.
"You like her don't you?" Terra asked bitterly taking a step towards her blushing and uncomfortable boyfriend. Blushing because he knew the answer to her question but he couldn't answer it truthfully and uncomfortable because he was fighting off the urge to snap back at his girl friend just as hard as she was biting at him. "S-Sorry," he stuttered forcing himself to stop the other words burning on his tongue from slipping past his dry lips. "It's just h-her name is easier to make up nicknames for. Y-Y-You know Rae, Rae-Rae, Sunshine, Blue."Beast boy tried to remember all the nicknames Raven had been called throughout the years through the struggle of keeping his speech in check. Terra rolled her darkening sapphire gems. "She is anything but sunshine." she scoffed heatedly as she snatched the tea bag from him and threw it back into the cabinet were she had found it.
It had all went downhill from there...
"Shut up! You don't know her! Unlike you, Raven, has had it tough since birth! And, yeah, maybe I do like her! Maybe I love her! You wouldn't know!" the animalistic urge he had been fighting back to snap on Terra had broke loose and now he wasn't sure if he could tame himself once more...or if he wanted to. Terra backed away a bit her eyes quivering in their sockets as Beast Boy's figure seemed to widen and tremble over her suddenly. Terra knew of Beast Boy's inner beast...but she wasn't going to fear it.
Glaring up, or what seemed to be like up, at the raging changeling she balled her fist tight by her sides and let the words roll like raging waves off of her tongue. "I would too know! And you don't know my life! None of you do! You all don't know why I was running when ya'll found me, you'll never know why I traveled around the world...You just don't frigging know! They don't, you don't and she especially doesn't know!" Terra had took a threatening step towards Beast boy as she had yelled out her feelings.
A twisted smile perked on the sides of Beast Boy's lips, curling up to reveal his sharp teeth and one fang. Once again he seemed to raise himself over Terra and take up more of the little space between them...almost as if she was an intruding mice in the lion's den. "I know why. Hell everyone knows why. Because nothing is ever good enough Terra! Because you seem to think everything is going to break. Everyone has it out for you so you run. You run because you can't accept change wether it be good or bad. And because of that little twisted fear of change, you won't allow people in. You won't tell your story..because your scared of a change that some will accept you for who you are and what you've done, because you think in the long run there's always going to be a down fall." Beast Boy's emerald eyes burned even hotter than Terra's with every furious emotion a beast or human could ever feel.
"But we know Raven's story. What she has done to protect us because of something she never wanted. Raven is scared of change too, Terra. If she had it her way we would have never known her, or her father, or helped her to change her fate and herself. But she did something you can't, she thrived for change. And she tried and hoped! Something you can't do! You can't do it! So that's why you hate Raven, isn't it? You know she's better, she can do something you can't. And it scares the hell out of you." Beast boy was shocked of his sudden under standing of the silent girl, Raven and also the understanding of Terra. For so long he had thought they were total opposites. But they weren't, not truly. They were more a like than anyone else but there was a difference.
One of them could face their fears.
Beast Boy was snapped out of his thoughts by Terra smashing a delicate line of tea cups onto the hard floor. "I am so sick of this! I am so sick of you! Of them! And especially her!" she screamed in a terribly hoarse and tear streaked voice. Beast Boy's anger boiling inside him raised to new levels, his voice bubbling with the frenzy of angry feelings, "Fine!." he roared feeling his whole body quivering with fury."I'm so fuckin' tired of you! All you've ever done is hurt me, lied to me, betrayed me...I don't know why I even wasted my time even tryingto love someone as twisted as you."
With a second thought Beast Boy figured this could at least lead to a new branch of the argument, one that lead away from Raven. "And leave her out of this!" he growled rather loudly and threateningly hoping to get it thought he thickness of Terra's ignorant mind.
Terra leaned away from the enraged green young man her hair falling back into place and showing both her eyes once again, each one hazed with tears and a mix of emotions. Anger, hate, disgust, disbelief, hurt and a gleam of hope that he didn't want to uncover the meaning of anytime soon. Her trembling lips slowly twisted up into a crooked smirk her voice barely above a whisper and so low it took all of Beast Boy's enhanced hearing to catch onto the words. "This whole argument is about her. No one else but her."
Beast boy shook his head huffing out a sickly amused laugh as he whispered back to her his eyes staring into hers and for once seeing the twisted evil in them he hadn' seen since the day Terra had attacked the Titans under Slade's command. "No T. This is aalll about you. Since you can't drink her tea or have several nickname like her you feel that you need to get what you want. Which is to be Raven, to be important and loved like she is. Well T you can't be Rae-Rae!"
Terra's sapphire jewels shrank into small raging beads of...defeat. What Beast Boy said was true. She had hoped this fight would be used in her advantage to show BEast Boy the truthfulness of Raven's being an crusht he feelings she knew he had for her dark girl. But it wasn't working out like she planned. Beast Boy wasn't denying it, he wasn't hiding the truth in Raven or in Terra's cases. And every word he screamed, whispered or roared was the cold hard truth.
And it was scaring her away. Still though she would not allow him to have the last word in this, she would leave him and his little team. But not without her opinion being the last to be said in this relationship shattering fight. "Of course you would defend the demon! You don't get it do you? She hates you. She hates everyone. She's a emo, emotionless, freak. Think about it for a second. She does notlove you, I do." Terra said her voice sharp with the sting of a possible truth but silky and cunning with the love she did hold for BEast Boy over riding the hope she was crushing every other aspect of the fight before only leaving this for him to think about. But he had given no response...he couldn't think of one and nothing burned to be yelled off the tip of his tongue. He just let it go...
Terra stared at him for a brief second wondering if she had gotten through to him or if he had simply just shut down. His eyes flashed up from their place glued to the floor that suddenly seemed so interesting in the darkness of the twilight. He wasn't that beast anymore, but he wasn't Beast Boy...and he wasn't going to answer. A shrill scream broke through the silence of Terra's answer of where she was in the fight, "I'm done!" she turned on her heel and stormed off for the doors. Something in Beast Boy that did tell him he was losing the girl he was in love with and he moved after her for a few good, misleading steps. But then he stopped thinking about the words she had spoken about the girl he did truly love. He watched motionless as the double doors slid open and Terra began whispering once to someone, but this time her voice was mixed with hurt, realization, and pained truth that she didn't want to admit or have to think of ever admitting. But she did. Then, just as she cut her whispering off, her head slightly swiveling around to glance back at Beast Boy who simply glared at her on instinct, ran away.
And in the wake of her disappearance there stood a worried and hurt-
Beast Boy whispered the name as it all came back to him and once again he was standing in the middle of he disastrous room, staring blankly at a clawed up and bloody wall, with the now rougher beatings of Cyborg's heavy hand pounding against his door he had yet to answer.
He tried to remember what he had done after seeing Raven in the doorway. He'd talked to her, that was for sure he wouldn't just leave her there in that vulnerable way possibly knowing she was the cause of a fight such as the one he had battled out with Terra. But what had he said to her? What had she said to him? Was it all about the fight? Had she overheard it all? There was the undoubtably truth that she had, at least a small part she had at the most.
Why had she been up anyway? Nightmares possibly.
He squeezed his eyes shut trying to go back to last night, up to where he had seen Raven standing there her face confused and perplexed with hurt and something he could place but wasn't sure if he was right about. He saw her face reddening as she stared up at him, barely remembering that expression from when he had asked her if she liked him. He knew she had lied he could see in it her eyes. The way she hesitated and thought of what to say. The way she stared at him looking for an answer. He remembered the anger boiling in him at her lies.
He looked at the blood staining his glove, a horrible thought crossing his mind. Had he hit her for lying to him when he knew what the truth was behind her words and forced expressions. No, he would have remembered something like that for sure. You don't forget hurting the girl your madly but unwillingly in love with.
Punching the wall in frustration at his loss of memory Beast Boy let a low maddened growl pass through gritted fangs. "B.B ya alright man?" Cyborg called worriedly and a little annoyed. Beast boy had forgotten his friend waiting for him, letting his knocking sink into the background against his thoughts and force of trying to re-fresh his memory. "Yeah, dude, just...gotta find another glove." he said as half an excuse as he walked to his wooden drawer that was tossed over on it's side up against his closest silently picking his brain for any drop of enlightenment of last night that he could.
"What? Man get your tail out here before I go in there and get your little green butt." Cyborg had said in a somehow pissed voice that held a hint of playfulness in it. "Dude, just give me a minute." Beast boy responded stubbornly. "Dude," Cyborg taunted hotly "A minute to search for something in your room is like searching for a needle in a very,very big and messy hay stack." Cyborg said as he pressed in a code into his arm too impatient to wait for Beast Boy anymore. Stepping into his friend room Cyborg took it in with shock. He knew Beast Boy wasn't the cleanest person in the world but...
"Dude!" Beast boy exclaimed at his privacy ruining friend. "Make that a very,very big, messy and nasty haystack." Cyborg mumbled "Now come on." he said grabbing Beast boy by the wrist and into the hall, down the hall and at the doors of the main room. There Cyborg let go of Beast boy's wrist. "Dude that hurt." the changeling complained. "Yeah well this is going to hurt a lot worse." Cyborg said walking through the open doors and Beast boy followed.
Raven sat at the table in the main room looking down into her lap at her hands that she nervously twisted and bended trying to stop the thoughts of what could be going on that was so important, and praying it had nothing to do with Terra. Robin was leaning against the counter looking at a slip of paper in his hands, eyebrows tightly knitted together and his eyes probably going back and forth along the paper behind his mask.
"That's the thrid time he's read it." Cyborg informed in a worried whisper. "Is it from her...?" he asked a slight drop in voice as he remembered Cyborg yelling Terra was missing just before he blacked out. Everyone turned to look at him, all of their eyes holding sympathy but he only looked at Raven. Her eyes looked him over and then that old frown that was a mask came over her. "A note. It's addressed to the two of you." Robin answered looking between him and Raven. Beast boy didn't feel like asking why he was reading the letter if it was addressed to him and Raven. Beast boy, just because he was the leader didn't mean he had to go snooping through ever body's stuff. But he wasn't going to get into it with the boy wonder and simply plucked the paper away from Robin and turned to Raven who was once again staring blankly at her hands. "Rae, it's for you too." he said hs voice soft and gentle as he approached her. Slowly he slid his way into the table booth with her holding out th leader between the both of them Blue and green orbs roamed over the cursive letter,
Dear Raven and Beast boy,
I hope you two find true love since me and Beast boy weren't meant to. Beast boy I'm sorry for making our last few moments tense and angry.
Please forgive me for that. And Raven I'm sorry for coming between you and Beast boy. So for separating you to for so long I've decided to leave
so that you will both have a chance to be together. Besides I don't want to feel the pain of watching you two fall in love but I do hope you find it. Good luck!
It took Raven only a minute to read Terra's swirled hand writing while it took Beast boy a bit longer not only to unscramble her writing with what he thought would match not words but also to let it all sink in.
Beast boy stood giving the letter back to Robin, wasn't like he hadn't read it all ready. Raven stormed out of the room, head lowered and brushing by Cyborg without a word to anyone. Beast boy stared after her as the sliding doors closed and he wondered if that was the image he had been left with last night too.
"Whats is wrong with our dear friend Raven?" Starfire asked her hands clasped together as she slid off the bench across from where Raven and Beast Boy had been sitting and stood staring examining her friends faces as best as she coul to uncover the human feelings displayed on them. "I don't know but I'm going to find out." Beast boy said rushing out of the room to find the girl he had defended and stood up for only a night ago and had lost his girl friend over. And who was now somewhere in the tower dealing with her emotions by herself which would never ever be a good thing under any circumstances and especially not these. "I don't know what her problem is but I'm going to find out. Everything."
When that voice that sounded so much like Raven had spoke to him, just before flashing back to last night, he thought he was going to be mending his and Terra's relationship yet again. Now he was mending a relationship he didn't even know was broken.
One more chapter to go sweeties! Hope you like dit, writing this at 1 in the morning, really tired from school shopping but hope you enjoy it! Peace, Love, & Godo tImezx! ^_~