Hey there, fellow readers! Yes, I am back in the business! I'm really sorry I've been keeping you guys out of the loop for so long, but I had a lot of high school work to deal with and wanted to improve on my writing technique. Now, I'm back to hopefully finish this story :) But first, I'll need to revise it so be patient with me, it's been a while. For now, enjoy the fully revised first chapter!
February 14th. That fucking day. Every year. Every freaking year.
Someone really needs to murder Valentine, a raven haired teenager scowled.
His obsidian eyes glared at the white polished door, knowing full well what chaos the outside world would bring if he set one foot out of his house. Sighing as his fingers ran through his soft, midnight locks, he looked around his almost pitch black house. He hadn't moved any of the furniture since his brother had murdered their entire clan. He could still faintly remember his obsession with getting stronger in order to defeat his psychotic brother single-handedly, only to find out his brother was forced by the Hokage himself to kill his own family. And of course, as if irony knew him better than anyone else, he had only found this information out after he had killed his beloved brother.
I hate my life, he thought scornfully to himself.
He made his way to his bathroom and slipped into the shower. Closing his eyes, he let the warm water calm his senses and relax his tense muscles. He rested his head on the wall in front of him and listened to the soft, soothing sounds the water made as it dripped through his hair and off of his body. He sighed again, this time contently.
Yes, this is where I need to be on such a day. Right at home, training in my bedroom, enjoying the peaceful silence, he thought wistfully.
Unfortunately, today was grocery day and he needed to get some milk.
Hn. If only the gods randomly threw a cow down from the heavens into my house. I'd pray from then on every single day…well, maybe not.
It was no hidden secret that Sasuke Uchiha despised Valentine's Day with a burning passion. On that day, all hell broke out. His 'admirers' – and he used that word loosely – went absolutely crazy. Chocolates were piled relentlessly into his chimney. Love letters were chucked through his window and littered all over his floor. Baby dolls, of all things, were stuffed in his refrigerator. Sasuke hadn't known the reason for this strange event at first; until he noticed that all the dolls looked eerily like him in appearance. After that incident, he hid in the covers for about a week. While the dolls were admittedly creepy, Sasuke didn't mind the other gifts. Chocolates were delicious and the love letters were great for firewood. Even the baby dolls made excellent gifts for Kankuro on his birthday.
And he'd better be damn grateful, as I hardly ever hand out presents, Sasuke thought bitterly.
Nothing was worse than the carnage that ensued when he would step out of his house. All laws were broken. The girls simply ravaged him in every possible way. Fingers clung to him everywhere: his face, his hair, his shirt, his pants. One girl (ahem, Sakura) even managed to snag his underwear before he got away in time.
If that's not something that will send a man screaming for the hills, the violence and brutality the girls showed each other for his sake definitely did. Girls would tackle each other to the ground, pulling each other's hair out while saying, "Sasuke this, Sasuke that, Sasuke is mine." It got to a point where he felt sick after listening to his own name. And the nudity. Sasuke shuddered. Why was it every girl's plan to seduce him with their naked bodies? Yes, he was male and yes he has before experienced arousal induced by females. But there was nothing sexy about exposing oneself in public for everyone to see; at least in Sasuke's opinion. It was horrifying.
So yes. Sasuke was not looking forward to getting his small carton of milk. Determination set on Sasuke's face as he turned off the shower and stepped onto the fluffy, blue mat next to it. He stood there, wet and naked, contemplating how he could get out the house without his fan girl's noticing him.
They will not make a fool out of me again. I am an Uchiha! Sasuke smirked triumphantly to himself. Today was his day.
He reached blindly at his bathroom counter, still smirking smugly to himself. His smirk fell and his eyes widened when he realized he forgot his towel in the other room. Cursing his misfortune, he ran naked into his room, grabbed his towel roughly, and quickly adjusted it around his waist.
"SASUKE!" Sasuke flinched at the high-pitched voice. He covered his ears.
Oh God, no!
"Oh my god! Did you get a good look at his well-toned chest?!"
"OOH SEXY PECKS!"
"Aww he looks so flustered! How cute!"
"OH MY LORD! I SAW HIM 'DOWN THERE'!"
Sasuke turned his head around quickly to his open window and blinds and saw almost a hundred faces pressed against it. All faces had mad blushes and perverted smiles.
Fuck my life, Sasuke scowled as he sprinted over to it and locked his window before his entire fan girl service could come flooding into his house. Then he closed the blinds, shielding himself from their view.
Disappointment was heard on the other side as the girls whined and cried. Practically teleporting into his clothes, Sasuke hurriedly fixed his spiky, wet hair and stood rigid in front of his entrance door. All was silent. Hands trembling slightly, he extended his arm and turned the knob softly. Sunlight blurred his vision for several long moments. Thankfully, a large cloud blocked it out and Sasuke was able to focus again.
But wait…clouds don't smile like sex driven maniacs…in fact, they don't smile at all… Eyes growing slightly wide, he found himself looking at more than a hundred fan girls.
Screw this! Sasuke thought in terror.
If he didn't get out of there fast they'd probably rape him right then and there! With a very uncharacteristic cry of panic, he leapt through the window. Shouts rang all around him but he ignored their cries, focusing on a way out of his current situation.
Yeah, idiot, there is a way out of this situation. RUN! Sasuke thought angrily.
Sprinting as fast as he could down the street, Sasuke zigzagged between alley ways and people. He looked back only to see a whole mob of girls gaining on him. With a grunt, he leapt up on to the rooftops and took off even faster, this time using his chakra.
Hopefully, he thought, they wouldn't be able to match his stamina and would eventually give up.
He gave a small peek over his shoulder…and was hit in the face with a piece of fabric. Sasuke snarled and ripped the offending garment off him, blushing slightly when realizing what it was.
For God's sake, that goes under your dress!
This made him run all the more faster. He didn't stop running until he got to the store. Seeing that the coast was clear, he ducked inside and hid in one of the aisles. He let out controlled and careful breaths despite the burning in his chest and tried hard not to attract attention. It was bad enough that some very old women were giving him the eye. One even winked at him.
Sasuke sneered at her in disgust, watching as her grandson gently grasped her hand and led her to another part of the store all the while shooting frightened looks at him. The owner of the small grocery store looked on at the spectacle highly amused. He was used to seeing his favorite moody customer receive flirtatious looks from the ladies, old and young. The young fellow was so unresponsive, sometimes he wondered to himself if he preferred the…er…other gender. The owner chuckled slightly to himself as he thought this in his head. This caught Sasuke's attention and he sent the owner a glare as if reading his thoughts.
The owner raised his hands in mock defeat. "Hey kiddo. I'm not saying anything on the matter."
Sasuke gave a small snort, signaling that he didn't believe him.
The owner grinned. "Although, you could work on smiling a little. It's a wonder anybody gives you the time of the day when you're glaring at them as if they were a fly you want to completely crush."
Sasuke smirked humorlessly. "I'm not looking to be given the time of the day. Most of the time I have on my hands is very much wanted to be left alone and for all girls to stay the hell away from me. But what I really want right now-" He slipped behind the counter and grabbed his item. "-is a nice cold carton of milk."
The owner rolled his eyes, waiting for the raven haired teen to pay for his milk.
Little did they both know that a very perverted sensei was grinning down at the situation evilly as he sat in a tree.
Sasuke blinked into the fresh sunshine as he held a cold carton of refreshing milk in his hands. Cautiously, he lurked in the streets hiding away from his fan girls. Curious glances were given to the usually calm and collected Uchiha, but as far as he was concerned, they were enemies; spies reporting his whereabouts to every damn female in the Konohakagure village. Finally, he spotted a good hiding place in the distance: the forest. Its tall, luscious treetops would surely keep him inconspicuous. Tip-toeing to the edge of the forest, he slowly made his way over. Just as he was about to plunge into its depths, he heard a shocked gasp from behind him. He groaned.
Oh boy. Here we go, Sasuke sighed inwardly.
He turned around to scowl at his pink haired teammate.
Sakura Haruno. Even her name set him on edge. From all the rumors he'd heard, she had matured and forgotten her long and very much one-sided crush on him.
Well, those rumors were wrong.
As soon as Naruto had brought him back, beaten and bruised, the façade was off and she was back to being her annoying self. Sighing, he walked over to see what she had to say. Sakura stood there, blushing and shuffling her feet. She gave him what she thought was a shy and inviting smile. Sasuke, however, wasn't fooled. Sakura was anything but shy. That characteristic was usually saved for…what's her name.
Sasuke blanched, trying to figure out who she was. He honestly couldn't remember her name. He knew her by face. She was that girl, the really weird girl with the strange eyes. Strange eyes like…
"Hn?" Wait, what?
"I, um, asked you a question. Are you feeling alright?" Sakura asked, concerned.
Damn, I wasn't paying attention.
He huffed in annoyance, clearly wanting to get of there before the rest of his parading fan girls found him.
"Hn. Could you repeat that?" He asked calmly, but with a sharp edge in his tone.
Sakura smiled warmly. "Sure! I was just wondering if you'd possibly be interested in…well…" She began to shuffle with her feet and play with her fingers. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her behavior. It seemed really familiar to him…
"Sakura, please just ask whatever question you desperately need to ask so that I can get on with my life," he sighed irritably.
"Okay…" She said, chewing on her nail. "It's Valentine's Day as you probably already know and-"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "No."
Sakura looked at him, shocked at his blunt answer.
"Maybe if we could-"
"Perhaps if we-"
"No," Sasuke emphasized, sounding angry. "From now until we both sag, the answer is no Sakura. Give it up. You're only hurting yourself and irritating the hell out of me."
With that being said, he took off into the forest. His long legs stretched from branch to branch to run upon. Dodging branches and tree trunks, he climbed higher and higher. He enjoyed his freedom as he ran. In here, he was no longer the pretty boy heart-throb. Here, he was Sasuke, and that was just the way he liked it. This went on for a while until a sudden uneasy feeling washed over him. He stressed his hearing senses and heard a branch crack from unwanted weight.
Someone's following me, he realized. He sped up even faster, hoping it wasn't Sakura.
"Sasuke. Wait," someone called out. Sasuke instantly recognized the voice.
He rolled his eyes. Kakashi-sensei. Of course.
With a back flip, he jumped from the tree he was on and landed gracefully on the ground in front of Kakashi. A bored expression once again settled on his face as he surveyed his old sensei.
Now it was Kakashi's turn to roll his eyes. Typical Sasuke.
Kakashi smiled at him from under his mask. "Yo!" He called out, raising his hand cheerfully. "Having a wonderful day, Sasuke?"
Sasuke scowled at the stupid scarecrow and crossed his arms.
"Hn. Absolutely wonderful. Nothing like having a mob of hormonal teenage girls-"
"And adults," Kakashi corrected. Sasuke sent him a death glare.
"And adults," Sasuke said, gritting his teeth. "-chase me around all day and bombard me with crappy gifts. Does that sound very wonderful to you?"
Kakashi just smiled, his eyes crinkling in amusement.
This is my chance. The mission has officially begun, Kakashi thought.
Kakashi stared blankly at the drunken Hokage. She surely must be joking. Or maybe, perhaps a little too drunk. He had traveled all the way from Suna, enjoying the sun and sand (with a few bandits thrown in there), and all she wanted him for…was for this?
"Let me get this straight. You (he pointed a finger at her)...want me (he pointed back to himself) to find a girl…for Sasuke."
Tsunade rolled her eyes at him before settling further into her seat, hands locked together. "That's what I just said two minutes ago, Kakashi."
Kakashi still stared at her strangely before looking back down at the small piece of parchment she handed him. "And using…this specific technique, whatever this is…will help?"
"With all due respect Hokage, when did I become Konoha's cupid?" He asked sarcastically.
"…" Tsunade no longer looked happy (not that she was to begin with) and her fingers began to drum repeatedly on the desk.
"…" Kakashi held his tongue, fear growing steadily at her closed off expression and her calm reaction to his sass.
"…You're mad at me now, aren't you." It was not a question.
"Fine. But how does this even work?" He asked curiously.
He jumped back as she exploded. "Well go find out then dammit! Who the hell do you think I am?! I don't show my shinobi how to do the damn instructions! I give them! Now get your lazy perverted ass out of my office and go get me some results!"
Tsunade was getting a headache. Elite ninjas were supposed to be smart, she thought irritably. And all of the smart shinobi knew not to mess with her temper.
Kakashi gulped. Rubbing a hand through his silver hair, he smiled at the crazed blonde sheepishly.
"I guess I should get going then…"
"You guessed right." She grumbled.
Man, where was Shizune with the damned alcohol?
"Shizune!" She called out. "I'm awaiting my beloved sake!" Shizune rushed in hurriedly, a frown set on her face.
"Lady Tsunade, you've had one only two minutes ago. And what about the papers concerning-"
"Shizune…" Tsunade said menacingly.
Shizune sweat dropped.
"I'll get you another bottle right away." She darted out of the office before the Hokage could throw a fit.
Kakashi watched on slightly amused, but mostly terrified.
I'd better get going with this mission or poor Shizune will be scrubbing my corpse off the wall, he thought.
With a poof! Kakashi was gone.
It was then the Hokage had realized that she had forgotten to give him a specific detail.
"Damn. Forgot to mention the effects of the jutsu," she grumbled to herself.
Back in the present…
"Goddamit Kakashi! Undo the ropes right now!" Sasuke snarled viciously.
Sasuke was currently tied up and glowering at said sensei. Kakashi meanwhile ignored him and was preparing for his forbidden technique.
"Trust me Sasuke. After this technique is done, your life will completely turn around for the best. Who knows, you might become as cheerful and energetic as Naruto!"
Sasuke shuddered at the mental image.
After this "technique" as you call it is done, I'm gonna kick your sorry, scarecrow ass, Sasuke growled in his head.
Kakashi's hand started to move, first slowly and then very quickly began to speed up. His hands were a blur as he performed the hand signs, going way too fast for Sasuke to figure out which technique he was doing. A light purple energy began circling around in Kakashi's palm. Putting his arm back, he charged at the baffled Sasuke and yelled, "DOGBONE JUTSU!" just before he hit Sasuke square in the chest.
The pain was intense, starting from his core and radiating into his head. Sasuke refused to cry out despite the searing pain. Gritting his teeth, he took on the full impact of the attack until his body couldn't take it anymore and he passed out.
Kakashi sweat dropped. Was it supposed to knock my student out, he wondered.
He'd never used this technique before so he wasn't sure. Looking down at the teen, he almost jumped at the results of his jutsu.
Oh god. What the hell have I done? He panicked in his head. Was this supposed to happen?! Shit! Better get out of here before he wakes up or I am one dead man.
Whistling nervously, he made his way out of the forest. Like hell he would stick around with a soon to be very angry Uchiha. He may do stupid things at times, but he really didn't have a death wish.
Sasuke woke up feeling nauseated and disoriented. His body felt like it was on fire and his mind was fuzzy.
Ugh, where am I?
Suddenly all the recent memories came back to him. His eyes narrowed into slits.
Must. Kill. Kakashi. Sasuke growled to himself.
What should have only been a noise of agitation came out to be a rather fierce growl of an animal. Shaking his head, his fur gave a soft pat against his skin.
Wait a minute…FUR?
Sasuke stuck out his hands in front of him and instead saw two tiny little paws. Sasuke's eye twitched. He tried shaking his head.
Kakashi's technique must have really scrambled my brain…
He tried getting up only to face plant into the ground. He let out a small whine of frustration and immediately noticed something was wrong with his voice.
Uchihas do not whine.
He shakily got up on all…fours. Dread and realization dawned to him as his new legs adjusted themselves. He ran/stumbled to a nearby river to examine himself in the water. An angry growl escaped his throat. He was a…dog.
A toy dog, for that matter. He was extremely small, his ruffled and fluffy dark coat hiding his stubby legs and obscuring some of his face. An equally fluffy tail was also present, swaying slightly with the breeze. His nails were sharp and showing. Teeth as white as snow and as sharp as his nails were also accounted for. Obsidian eyes, usually held as a glare, were now slightly pointed but also round and cute. His duck butt hair was a lighter color than his fur and stuck up in the back, acting as a small mane. His ears were pointed and had bits of white hair coming out of them. Even for a dog, Sasuke was still as handsome as ever.
Or really, cute as ever now.
Cursing Kakashi using every cuss word available, Sasuke turned around and began to run off home before someone mistook him for a stray.
I have to see if I can find a way to reverse this mess! He thought desperately.
Elsewhere, Tsunade and Kakashi were watching as the Uchiha stray ran back to civilization.
"You really are evil." Kakashi whispered.
"Ow!" He cried out as Tsunade's fist landed on top of his head. He grumbled to himself, watching Sasuke as he rubbed his now sore head. If he had known what he was in for, he wouldn't have done this at all.
Great. Now the Uchiha prodigy really is going to murder me…
"Sorry about that, Kakashi." Tsunade apologized. "It kind of slipped my mind to give you all the details."
"You didn't give me any details," Kakashi huffed.
"Ow! Quit it!"
"Shut it, Kakashi!" Tsunade glared. "Now do you see how this plan of mine is going to work?"
"Yeah. When I transformed him, I made the bear hand sign which usually enhances the colors of your chakra. This produced a weird purple aura that is now present inside his body. At first I didn't get why I had to include the bear. The transformation would have gone perfectly well without it. But now I'm beginning to understand. The aura around him is-"
Tsunade interrupted. "Yes. It's an attraction aura. It's a very rare transformation. Almost no one knows about it. His aura is present for only a few to see. It's purple now, but when he begins to feel attracted to someone it will eventually turn orange."
"But how would we—"
"Know? Well, he's a stray, right?" An evil cackle rose from the blonde Hokage, making Kakashi fear for his safety. "Someone's bound to take him home. So I wonder what would happen if said person that takes him with them…was a girl?"
"And if they aren't?" Kakashi did not like where this was going.
Tsunade turned to him with an evil glint in her eye. Kakashi sighed.
Yep, he definitely did not like where this was going.
"Oh, trust me, they sure as hell will be. Because a certain someone is going to make quite sure it's a girl who gets Sasuke. Or their beautiful collection of naughty books will mysteriously become a great big pile of ashes." She shook her fist at him. "Understand?"
Kakashi sighed in defeat. "What do I have to do…"
Why is this so important anyway? Shouldn't we be worrying about Akatsuki? Kakashi mused to himself.
Tsunade grinned at him. "Alright, here's the plan…"
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