AN: Hey! I'm back with a new fic! This one is gonna be cute and angsty! ENJOY! Oh, and its definately a Usagi and Mamoru fic, the pairing category is not incorrect!
Usagi Tsukino walked down the street towards her boyfriend's house. They had been dating a whole year. Usagi's long blonde hair swayed gently in the wind as she walked. They were in their regular odangos, something she really should have stopped wearing when he left her. Each day the memories were too strong, yet she couldn't pull herself away from making them each morning. It seemed as if her hands had a mind of their own.
She shook her head as she approached his front door. No thoughts of him tonight. She sighed in excitement; she was finally opening up to him after so long of keeping him at bay. As much as Usagi wanted to fall for him, her memories of her old flame constantly came to mind. He had been the love of her life, her lover, and her best friend. She had lost all that the day he left her. She shivered. So much for not thinking of him. Her mind drifted to his touch, his kisses, and her heart ached to be his again.
Usagi's mind jolted back to the present. She was dating someone else now. The memories had to stop before she ruined what she had going. He was dead. She couldn't do anything about that but move on. It did her no good thinking about him; he was gone, gone forever. She wanted to grieve all over again.
Chastising herself once again, she focused on Seiya, her current boyfriend. He was whom she had turned to during those months when she had learnt about his death. He had comforted her and somewhere along the lines they had become more. He was a rock star, and that little piece of knowledge did wonders to her ego. He loved her. Clutsy Usagi. She still had trouble believing that it was true sometimes. She knocked on the door, dedicated to making this a good night for both of them. No more trips down memory lane, she told herself harshly. Within a few seconds, the door opened. There stood Seiya, looking as handsome as always. His long black hair tied back. He smiled when he looked at her and took her hand in his.
"You look beautiful," he said, admiring her long evening gown, her gloved hand small in his. "Shall we go?"
Usagi nodded and he lowered his head to kiss her. It was a chaste kiss that ended as soon as it started, but tonight she couldn't do more than that. She was still unable to give him her body in its entirety. Not after what she had been through. She wondered if she would ever be able to truly love again. Seiya's smile pulled her away from her dangerous thoughts. His mood seemed as if he hadn't even second guessed why she'd pulled away so soon. He was smiling sweetly and lovingly at her as he gently ushered her to his car of the month. Just a small perk of being a rock star, Usagi grinned. She smiled politely as he held the door open for her. She quietly got in.
Usagi gazed at her boyfriend, who sat across from her. He smiled at her lovingly. For their one-year anniversary he'd taken her to a fancy restaurant where apparently only the crème de la crème of Tokyo dined there. They had just finished eating and proceeded in staring into each other's eyes. As Usagi watched his expression she found he looked nervous for some odd reason. But what was he nervous about? Did it have something to do with her? Brushing it aside, she waited for him to say something, anything, but nothing came! Their dinner, for all that it was supposed to be romance wise, was turning out to be almost annoying in that they weren't talking even a tiny bit. Maybe he just thought no words needed to be said. Seiya reached over and grabbed her hand causing Usagi to blush slightly through a smile. She wasn't one for much PDA. Well not with him…she had never had that concern with him. Still, she savoured the moment. After some time, Seiya pulled her hand and got up. After paying for their meals, he took her for a romantic carriage ride, which led them to a beautiful sunset.
"Usagi," Seiya started as they sat on the grass and watched the sun setting. She turned and faced him and his eyes held on to hers never leaving them.
"Yes?" she responded with a happy smile on her face.
Taking a noticeable deep breath, Seiya continued. "Usagi, I know we have only been dating a year, but I feel as if that doesn't matter! I love you so much, Usa! That is why I want to take the next step in our relationship!"
Usagi's eyes widened wearily a frown forming from his words. "You know I am not ready for that! Seiya we've talked about this!" she said upset, letting out a big sigh. "After what happened with Mamoru…" she said mentioning his forbidden name… and causing an annoyed look on Seiya's face.
"That was not was I meant," he sneered, his words full of malice now that his name had been mentioned. He should have known better than to expect his proposal to go smoothly without involving him. He was willing to brush it off however. She had just misinterpreted his words. He tried again wanting this too bad to stop and wait for another night.
"I mean, that I want to take the other 'next step' in our relationship! I want you to be my wife!" he said so straightforwardly and without any build up that Usagi nearly fainted.
"What?" she asked as she stood to her feet, her blood freezing in her veins. It was too soon… she couldn't… she still loved Mamoru! Seiya remained silent for a few minutes as he sat on the ground. Then he rose on one knee and took her hand in his.
"Usagi Tsukino," he tried one last time. "Will you marry me and let us live our lives together? I want to share every moment with you! Please say yes and make me the happiest I've ever been!"
Usagi instantly withdrew her hand as if she had been burned, her eyes huge against her small face. What was he thinking? She was only twenty… she didn't want to be married… a war started inside her head because she knew that those words were not true. She just didn't want to be married to Seiya. Her eyes fell to her left hand and to that special finger. On it already shined a brilliant ruby heart, diamonds surrounding its shape. She'd never told Seiya that the ring she had never taken off had been his ring of eternal happiness together. Tears came to her eyes and forced through her barrier. She couldn't contain her pain any longer. The memories were just too strong. Tears ran down her now pale face as the memories haunted her mind. No. she couldn't marry Seiya. She looked up at him and knew tears were still running down her face but she didn't care. He smiled lovingly at her still… taking her tears as a sign of happiness. She wanted to say no point blank but didn't want to devastate him by her conviction in that one word. So instead she took a breath and looked down at him.
"I… I need some time," she lied, hoping that postponing the refusal of his proposal would help, making it look as if she was truly thinking about it. This way it seemed as if she might change her answer, but it would never be the answer he wanted, it couldn't… not when her heart ached for him.
Seiya's heart tore a bit in his chest at her words but nodded, placing the ring in the palm of her hand. He loved her so much that he didn't mind waiting a few days for his answer. He was confident that she was just too shocked by this all and needed some time to talk to her friends before she said yes. He wasn't afraid of the answer… though he should have been.
Usagi forced a smile on her face as she strained herself to focus on the object in her hand. It was a gorgeous ring… the rock as huge as she had ever seen with tiny ones all over in the design of the ring. Still… as her eyes couldn't help but fall back to her own ring… that was far from what she cared about and him not knowing that only proved that he did not know her as well as he thought he did. Looking back at him she studied his face before lowering her gaze to the floor. He stood fully and closed the distance between them, trying to be romantic even though the mood had died. Usagi shook her head in one swift move as she simultaneously stepped out of his reach.
"Not now…" she said in a low voice, the words sounding harsh even to her, despite her soft tone. He didn't say anything. She was about to apologize and tell him that she just needed space when her pager buzzed in her purse. Her fingers dug into the purse and pulled it out. On the little screen flashed several of her friend's icons. Her friends were in trouble. They needed her help! Perfect timing, she thought to her self. She began walking backwards.
"I… I got to go!" she said suddenly, not being able to look him in the eyes. "My friend needs me right now!" she finished as a few more tears slide off her chin. Even though she didn't love him, it still pained her to know he was suffering right now and even more to know that she was the cause. Her body turned around and she began to run, her back the only image of her he saw as she ran into the night. In the distance she heard a fading "Usagi!" from a pained Seiya.
Once she knew that he was long behind her, she opened the pager. Her eyes instantly drifted over the small keys to the image of a single red rose. Mamoru's button. He'd never use it again. She would never see his face there… or anywhere else… ever again. Why were all her memories attacking her tonight? She had thought things had been getting better… tonight everything just seemed worse! She knew she needed to focus though. She clicked one of the flashing buttons. Her best friend Minako appeared in the small window after a few seconds. She was out of breath.
"We need you. Park. Now!" she said in short breaths before she closed their conversation, obviously needing to concentrate on the trouble at hand. Usagi dropped the pager back in her pocket and ran in the direction of her friends.
That was another thing, she thought as she ran. Seiya didn't know about her biggest secret. She was a superhero that saved Tokyo on a nightly basis. She had never felt safe enough with him to tell him the truth. She still couldn't open up enough to tell him about her real purpose in life. That was just another reason why they wouldn't work as a permanent couple. As she neared the park, she forced her mind off thoughts of him and transformed beside a crowded area of trees. Standing there as her alternate persona, Sailor Moon, she ran into the battlefield to ad her allies. When her presence was known, her friends looked at her and saw two things: tears rolling down her face and uncommon determination. She watched her friends' faces as they stared at her concerned. She harshly wiped her face with her arm.
"You okay, Girl?" Minako, or Sailor Venus at the present moment, asked as she shot a beam of hearts at the venomous creature intent on destroying them.
Sailor Moon shook her head. "No. Long. Story," she said in quick pauses. "Let's kill this sad excuse for a villain and go home!" she said with force, as she turned and faced the monster. At once she closed her eyes, focusing on all the anger and sadness and pain, before opening her eyes and pointing her sceptre at the beast. A deadly blast came from it and utterly disintegrated the being before her. She turned around, a proud look on her face as she walked over to her friends. She had had a bad night filled with so many memories she had thought she had long buried. She just wanted to get home and let the pain overtake her essence… at least for a few hours. Bottling up her memories and happiest times had only caused her to break when the bottles did. Her friends were all looking at her in amazed shock.
"Wow," her somewhat frienemy said in awe. "It's been a long time since you've been that determined!
"Crappy crappy night!" Sailor Moon replied in a loud huff. The four best friends de-transformed and then surrounded Sailor Moon more closely, all concerned about their friend.
"You wanna talk about it?" her friend Makoto asked as she gently touched Usagi's shoulder.
In that precise moment, all of her energy left her and she fell to the ground, her legs beneath her small body. She couldn't take it anymore; she had no strength left to get home. Her pain was just too much. Her eyes closed as she felt the tears pour down her face as she held her breath to keep from sobbing violently. She had learnt to control her body in such a way after months of sheer agony. Her friends sat down beside her on the cold grass, but none of them cared about that, their thoughts only on their leader.
"Seiya…" Usagi started, through controlled sobs, her throat already aching from holding them in. Silent tears poured down her face leaving behind a hot trail against her delicate skin.
"What about him?" Ami asked. "Is he hurt?"
Usagi shook her head. "He… took me out for a nice dinner… and…and a carriage ride… we…we were watching the sunset when he…" she gulped back a mouthful of air, she couldn't say the words. Her body began to shake as she gently rocked herself back in forth in an attempt to comfort herself.
"He what…?" Rei asked softly.
"Proposed," Usagi said the word so silently before letting her sobs take over, wishing for them to drown out the sound of that bitter word. Her friends instantly knew of the pain she was feeling and all cuddled beside her in a tight protective wall, all their arms wrapping around her in a comforting way, forcing her shaking and rocking to stop. They loved her so much and she took comfort in this, knowing that she was so grateful that she hadn't been left without them as well.