They sit in the bed of his truck in the snow, just as the sun starts to go down, her head on his shoulder.
"Where's your boyfriend?" There's a certain bitterness in his voice.
Quinn shakes her head. "I just need a distraction right now."
And so it is, he's her distraction, just like he's always been. There's something sour on his tongue but he'll take her anyway he can get her, and right now, this is it. A distraction.
"Where's your girlfriend?"
Sam fiddles with the strings on his jacket. One is longer than the other, and it doesn't fit, it never has; it bothers him.
"Oh, I just…" He frowns. "I dunno. I need a distraction, I guess."
Kurt feels like a part of him should be annoyed, but he doesn't say a word.
Only a broken boy can love a broken girl.
"Do you ever think about her?" Her voice is airy and soft, like it could fail at any moment. She floats above the lake with her arms outstretched, and he feels himself sinking to the bottom.
He swims over to her, like a moth to a flame. "Everyday," he promises.
She nods. "Me too."
Under his breath, he hums Beth, and she looks at him like she's afraid of him. She's absolutely terrified.
Kurt curls into bed with his phone, tucking the covers over his head like he's a child hiding from the darkness again. Sam breathes on the other line.
Finally, in a slow, easy voice, he says, "Do you ever… think about being with a girl?"
"I've been there before." He rolls his eyes, and then again, "Do you ever think about being with a guy?"
There's a silence on the other end; it says things that are probably better left as unsaid.
"Kiss me." She shivers next to him, until his breath is hot on her face, his hands on her shoulders.
He nods and licks his lips. "Yeah."
He tastes the same, she thinks; maybe a little darker, a little softer. He slides his hands to her waist and presses his lips to her collarbone. She listens for what he's saying but all she hears is blood drumming in her ears, all the way down to her fingertips.
Her fingernails dig into his arms until they draw blood.
They're quickly stepping into uncharted territory.
"Oh, my God." Kurt picks up a copy of The Little Mermaid. "You would so judge me if I told you this is my favorite Disney movie."
Sam shakes his head. "Nope." A smile, then, natural and wide. "It's mine, too — but that's a secret."
Kurt looks up and laughs. "Really?"
He realizes they're too close, but that doesn't matter. It shouldn't matter. Sam nods a little, like an eager puppy, and laughs. "Yeah, I know, that totally doesn't help my reputation or anything —"
It's a quick breath of air. "I'm going to kiss you." It all comes out in a rush of words and thoughts, tumbling out before Kurt can stop them.
Sam kisses him first, and it tastes like so many things that he shouldn't know.
They've been here before but that doesn't stop them.
He trails slow, soft kisses down her neck and her stomach, licking his way up her thighs tortuously until she's squirming.
Her hands curl into the pillows and he smirks in between her legs, again and again and again, like a song she can't stop listening to.
She feels like she's on fire.
"I can't be doing this." It doesn't stop him, but still Kurt says it, like it'd rid him of a guilty conscience. "Quinn's like one of my best friends —"
Sam hushes him with another kiss until Kurt doesn't remember Quinn's name, much less that they're friends, and it's wrong but it isn't because, well — it can't be.
"Does she even know you're —"
"Shh." Again and again.
Okay. Okay. He focuses on nothing more but that, but kisses against his skin and hands just everywhere.
It can't be. It can't be, because he feels like he's walking on air.
She pulls her wet hair into a bun, sliding underneath the covers with his arms around her waist. She turns to face him, and he's smiling, like a child who knows a secret.
"What?" She brushes his cheek with her hand, and she feels herself smiling, too, like an idiot. "What?"
"Nothing." It's always nothing. "I just feel like this is…"
She blinks at him, pressing her forehead to his, like nothing's changed. Maybe it hasn't.
He sighs. "This is the beginning… you think?"
She can't help but laugh, softly, right into his lips. "This began so long ago," she tells him, her thumbs pressed against his lips, her breath even with his. She likes to pretend that they're simply one whole person, broken in halves and tossed in other directions until they find each other.
He kisses her. It feels like the beginning again.
"Are you going to tell her?"
Sam nods. "Yeah. I am." The air is crisp and cold, and even in his mittens, his hands are frozen cold. "I promise. As soon as I can."
Kurt blinks at him. His eyes sting from the cold, but suddenly he's warm all over. "And then what?"
Sam wraps his arms around Kurt's waist, his lips upturning into a smile. "Well, first thing… you need to leave Dalton."
"Yeah?" Kurt breathes, and he realizes he's smiling, too. "And after that?"
Sam plays with Kurt's fingers. His hands burn like the hottest flame. "Then… I don't know." He can't make promises; he doesn't even know what's going to happen in hours from now, let alone in days to come.
Kurt reasons that they'll figure it out. He can taste the change in the air, like everything's about to shift.
He smiles. "I might be in like with you." He laughs at his own pun, shaking his head.
Sam grins stupidly, a lovesick pigeon learning how to fly. "That's a good thing, right?"
There's a warm beginning on his lips.