A/N: Another idea stemming from boredom with an English paper. Don't get me wrong. I love that Bob Dylan's grandpa's name is Zigman Zimmerman—I love that fact too much—but I needed to get this out. Now, why don't we see what our favorite Canadians were up to for Christmas? I hope you read it, review it, and most importantly enjoy it. :)
Disclaimer: If it's recognizable, it ain't mine. I still want Edge though…
Christmas In Canada
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, one blonde man sat terrified on his couch…
"Adam!" screamed Amy at the top of her lungs. "You told me Chris and Jay were not coming for Christmas! What the hell is wrong with you?" She threw a perfectly aimed notebook at him.
It hit him right in the back of the head. "Ouch," he muttered, rubbing the spot where he was attacked and turned his attention to his girlfriend. "I swear to God, Ames, I had no idea that they would be here."
"Yes, you did," she countered.
"No, I didn't."
"Yeah, you did."
"Okay, now you're just being childish," Adam said, not realizing what he was getting himself into.
Amy just stared at him. Not a stare that would scare him, but a stare nonetheless. "What did you just say?" she asked, eyes locked on his.
Adam's eyes widened and he loudly gulped. "Well, uh…I, um…I may have said that you were being…" He swallowed again. "…a bit childish," he finally finished. He quickly recovered and said, "But y-you know that I didn't mean it though. I-I was just talking, you know?"
Nodding, Amy said, "I know, Adam. You're always just talking. Which is why I expect you to talk yourself out of this. I don't want them here for Christmas." When Adam looked like he was about to say something, she held up a hand to stop him. "I know. They're your friends. And they're mine too. But I was planning on spending the holidays with you. Only you."
Adam's eyes lit up but he didn't reveal what he was truly thinking. Well, duh. Who wouldn't wanna spend Christmas with me? He shook his head. "Okay, Ames. I'll take care of it. Just let me think." He pondered and pondered. Then, it hit him, and it wasn't Amy injuring him this time. Instead, it was an idea. "I got it!" he shouted. "Chris! Jay! Can you come into the living room?"
"This better be good," Amy muttered to Adam but he wasn't paying attention.
Jay and Chris appeared, looking quite joyous. "You called?" the latter said.
"Um, yeah," said Adam. "I was thinking, since it is Christmas Eve, that we should get into the whole holiday spirit and sing some Christmas carols." He ignored the death glare he received from Amy.
"Hey, Adam," she said. "May I speak to you in the kitchen alone?" There was an edge to her tone.
"Sure, honey." Adam took Amy's outstretched hand and allowed her to drag him into the kitchen.
"What are you doing?" she said as loud as she could without letting Jay or Chris hear her. "Christmas carols? What's the catch?"
Adam sighed. "All right, see, I can't exactly tell you the plan 'cause I'm not so sure about it myself. Just trust me and go with it, okay?"
"Fine," she groaned. "But it better be good."
They went back into the living room where their two friends were waiting.
"Gather 'round, everyone," Adam announced in his booming voice. He took a seat on the couch, Amy by his side. Chris and Jay just sat on the floor, like the little children that they could be.
"You guys ready?" Adam asked. Not waiting for them to respond, he said, "So I came up with some new tunes for you guys 'cause I thought the other ones were kind of boring. I hope you're ready for change." He looked hopefully at Amy before he began—well, tried—to sing.
"On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…" He took a deep breath. "…Jericho's formerly long hair."
"Hey! Everyone tells me that my new hair is just beautiful! Quit laughing, Jay!" Chris snapped instantly. "I hear you."
"Oops," Jay said quietly.
Another long inhale from Adam. "On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Christian's old huge sunglasses—"
"And Jericho's formerly long hair."
"Adam," whined Jay. "This isn't funny. I'm hurt now. Aren't we best friends?"
Adam wasn't to be distracted. "On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Jericho's old pants, Christian's old huge sunglasses, and Jericho's formerly long hair."
"This is ridiculous!" Chris shouted.
"Well…" Jay began, hesitant.
"Well what?" said Chris.
"Maybe you should go back to wearing the pants. You know, for old time's sake."
"Will you just shut up, Reso? I'm sick of your comments." Then, Chris looked at Adam. A look that made the younger Canadian slightly terrified. "You think this is funny, Adam? You get a kick out of your songs? Well, you know what you are, don't you? You're…You're…You're an ass-clown!" He exhaled loudly.
Everyone looked shocked that Chris would say that. When was the last time that they heard that word come from his mouth?
"You like songs, Copeland? You wanna hear my song?" Chris pressed. Nobody said anything. "Huh? Do ya?"
Amy spoke. "S-sure, Chris. We'll hear your song."
"It's a continuation of sorts of your crap, Adam," he said, then began. "On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Edge's other six abs."
No one said anything. It was deathly silent.
"Well, Copeland? You like that one? But wait, there's more. This one's for you, Amy, 'cause I know you put him up to this."
"On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me birth control for my stupid friend, Amy."
Just then, a new voice was heard. "Christopher Keith Irvine!" Everyone turned at the voice. "How dare you say that about poor Amy?"
"Mom?" Adam questioned. "I didn't know you were coming."
"Do you think I wouldn't spend Christmas with my only son?" she asked rhetorically. "I'm just upset that I had to come at such a bad time." She glared in Chris's direction.
"Uh…Ms. C-Copeland. I…I…That wasn't me!" Chris eventually got out.
"Oh?" questioned Adam's mother, Judy. "I believe I heard your voice, Chris."
"I was just upset," he defended. "You weren't around to hear what your son had to say about me!" He was indignant. Of course, he wasn't at fault. In his mind anyway.
"That gives you no right to speak that way about Amy though, Chris," Judy said in a patient voice. "She did nothing wrong, I'm sure. She's much too sweet." She looked caringly at her son's girlfriend.
"You don't even know half of it," Chris muttered.
"Nothing, Ms. Copeland."
"That's what I thought," she said, her tone final. "Now, just apologize to them all, all right, dear?"
A sullen Chris replied, "Yes, ma'am." He turned to Adam, Jay, and Amy. "I'm sorry, you guys for ruining your Christmas Eve. I shouldn't have let my temper get the best of me."
"Apology accepted," said Judy on everyone else's behalf.
With his shoulders slumped, Chris sounded like a little boy when he said, "I guess I'll be heading home now. Merry Christmas, guys."
He made his way to the door and was about to open it when Adam called out, "Wait!"
Chris turned around, hoping for good news. That's not what he got.
"You gotta take Jay with you, ya know?" Adam reminded him. "The two of you came together."
Jay looked at Adam. "But I didn't say mean things to you!" But he saw the look on Adam's face and he knew that there would be no point in arguing. "Fine, I'm leaving. Bye, Judy. Happy holidays."
"Good-bye, Jay. Merry Christmas." She looked over at Chris. "See you around, Christopher. Stay out of trouble now. 'Tis the season to be jolly, right?"
"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled and left the house, Jay behind him.
When she was sure they were gone, Judy shot a disapproving look at her son. "Now, what in the world was that about?"
Adam merely shrugged. "We didn't want them here for the holidays so we had to get rid of them."
"Oh, I see," Judy said. "Good job, Adam."
Messed up, right? Once again, boredom…Hopefully, this will be some motivation to get back on track with all my other stories. Fingers crossed. Anyway, I hope you liked it a little. Tell me what you think, good or bad, in a review. They mean the world to me. :)
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! :)