All Alone this Christmas by DD Agent
Disclaimer: I do not own The Closer or any of its characters, or its settings
All he wanted for Christmas was his two beautiful children and a large pizza in front of the football game. Nothing too fancy, nothing too complicated, nothing too expensive. Even if he went the traditional Christmas dinner route, it still would be pleasant and simple. But that would not satisfy the universe, determined to sour the worst year of his life even more. Even the year he had got divorced from Estelle had been made easier by the fact it was all over by August.
He wanted 2010 to be over.
The year had started off so well. The Christmas before had been great, he had spent it with his kids and spent New Year's Eve with Sharon Raydor, determined to move on from the betrayal of one of her own officers. They had danced; they had kissed and made love as the clock chimed into 2010.
For a few months everything had been fine. They had gone to dinner and gone dancing but she began to grow distant come the summer. Once the Chief Job had been announced and he had put in his application, he barely saw her. The day that he discovered she had twisted Brenda's arm to put her application in was the day that they broke up.
After that his life got steadily worse until he was left hanging onto his job by a thread, with barely any contact with the woman he had effectively fallen for. Now Christmas had come and his kids were with their mother, he was a second rate Chief spending the holiday watching the game with an equally depressed Taylor and having to endure his ex girlfriend making holiday plans to be with her family and the fit ski instructor she was sure to be romanced by.
"Well, once again it's just you and me, huh?" Will opened up his jacket pocket and pulled out the engagement ring, setting it down on the table. That was probably his biggest disappointment of the year. It wasn't that she had said no, it was that he hadn't asked her at all. He had planned to do it on the day he was announced Chief, but they had broken up long before then. "What do you want to do, huh Ringo? Let's watch some more football."
Will unscrewed a beer and stuck his feet up on the table, watching the game, eating some of the food that Taylor had brought in. From the moment he had woken up with Sharon Raydor on New Year's Day, he had known they had something special. They ended up having a long weekend together, spending every waking moment with the other. But in the end not even his love, true and honest for the first time in many years, could save their relationship.
Thankfully, he wasn't the only one miserable this Christmas. Everyone was still working the case, and they weren't happy. People had cancelled plans; people were still going to be in LA for Christmas. Brenda and the rest of the Johnsons had gone home, Tao had sat in Brenda's office in silence, Gabriel had smacked something. The only one who had managed to enjoy his holiday plans was Flynn, who Will had covered for so he could go see his kids at Christmas. He wished he could do the same.
His depressing thoughts were disturbed when there was a bang on the door, and Will turned around to see that Sharon Raydor was dragging her suitcase behind her into his conference room. He pressed pause on the television, and turned to see his ex lover standing, looking furious at him. Again.
"I thought you would have gone home," she declared, her hands resting on her hips.
"Nope, nothing to do there but mope. Can do that here, with a big TV. I thought you'd have gone home and…I don't know, dropped your suitcase off? Are you determined to carry it around with you everywhere?"
Sharon slammed it down on the floor, angry and determined to take it out on him. "Why are you so angry with me? Why are you determined to piss me off? Is it because I broke up with you, or is it your childish desire to punish me for backing Brenda in the Chief race?"
"You know, surprisingly, the world isn't about you, Sharon. I didn't arrest that boy so I could piss you off, I did it so this case would get finished quicker, everyone could go away for Christmas and I could be left in peace with my misery." He left his chair and walked over to the television. "Dear God, it's like being married again. Right down to you trying to steal my goddamn remote!"
"Oh don't start that crap with me, Will." He expected her to lecture him and yell at him but all he got was silence. "What's that?"
Will looked around and grimaced as he realised he hadn't put the engagement ring away. She held it up to him, and he decided to explain. "That's Ringo. You know how men who are left at the altar keep the idiotic plastic grooms? Well men who get dumped before they propose to the women they're in love with keep the rings because they're too ashamed and embarrassed to take them back."
He moved over to where the ring was, took it out of her hands and sat back in his chair with his beer. Sharon looked down at the floor, her ever composed face breaking. "You were going to propose to me?"
"No, I was going to propose to Provenza." He rolled her eyes, not wanting to have this conversation. "Yeah, I was going to propose to you. I had a speech; I was going to take you to dinner. Go down on one knee, whole shebang. I was even searching for a bigger house so Emma could have her own room."
Sharon sat down on the edge of the table, looking solemn. Emma was her fourteen year old daughter, the last child to leave the Raydor nest. "I didn't know."
"Yeah, that would probably be because you dumped me. Ah well, life goes on."
"Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you just propose the day I called it quits?"
He shook his head, putting the ring back on the table. She reached over and looked at it, smiling. "You don't propose to someone three seconds after they've dumped you! Completely pointless. Listen, I'm going to go home. Going to drink some beer there, do whatever. I just don't want to have this conversation with you. Hope you get to Park City to see your family," he added as an afterthought, truly meaning it. Someone should have a good Christmas.
Will moved back into his office to grab his keys, looking at the ring in her hand before sighing. That wasn't how he wanted to give it to her, but he couldn't be in a typical relationship anymore. He was tired of the women he loved, truly loved, not loving him in return. He made it to the door when Sharon reached over and held his arm.
"You know there's a little church that I go to, just a few blocks from here. They've got a midnight service, and I wasn't planning to go, but now that I'm here...could you walk me there? I don't really want to walk by myself, and I think we should talk."
He looked up at Sharon, noticing the pale smile highlighting her features. It was Christmas Eve, there were crazies around. As much as he didn't want to share her company, didn't want to continue on their conversation, he couldn't let her go alone. Slipping on his jacket, he watched as she reached for her suitcase.
"Okay, let's go."
They headed out, enjoying the quiet of the LAPD Building. Sharon turned to him, smiling once again. "You let Flynn go see his kids. It was sweet of you." She got no response for him, instead saw that his neck had tensed up. "I'm sorry that Morgan and Sam couldn't be here."
"So am I. But that's life; their Mom does deserve a chance to see them, as much as I hate it." Will kicked the lift floor as they headed down to the foyer. He knew that Sharon missed her three, even more so now two of them were grown up. His kids were still at home, still growing into adults. He hated the feeling of not having them around at Christmas. He hated being alone.
They started walking along the streets, heading for the small church that Sharon went to. As he treaded the pavement, he started to remember the way. They had ended up there late on New Year's Eve, Sharon needing to just feel like there was some master plan, instead of it just being one screw up after another. He had been there as support, and had enjoyed the atmosphere of the church. He smiled as he remembered that night, and Sharon reached down for his hand as they walked. She looked like she had something on her mind, and Will squeezed her hand to encourage her.
"Will, you deserve an answer about why I ended things."
"No I don't. I'm happy not knowing. Really, ignorance is lonely bliss."
Sharon made a sad sound before squeezing his hand tight. He looked at her, she was almost crying.
"I broke up with you because I couldn't deal with being in a serious relationship again. Flings with handsome lawyers, fine. The last time I was serious was with my kid's father, and you know how that ended. I thought you were going to be just another fling, Will. I'm sorry that I was wrong."
He nodded and he swung her hand as they continued to walk. They found the church, and there was a nativity in the front. Will remembered old school plays with his kids dressed as wise men, and one time Morgan was Mary. Sweet memories; cherished ones. But he wanted more, wanted more than memories to sustain him for the rest of his life. He wanted her.
Before she went inside, Will reached over and held both her hands. "Is that still what you want? I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't want a fling, I want something serious. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Sharon closed her eyes tight before looking back at Will. "I can't, I'm sorry. I was with Jack for years, and I can't open myself up to that again. I thought he was charming and I loved him, and what he did…I'm sorry, Will. Maybe if I had met you twenty five years ago, we could have made this work. But we can't."
Will kissed her hand, understanding. Jack had beaten her within an inch of her life, and he suspected had raped her also, not that she had told him so. He understood that falling in love was not a good idea for her, even if she knew he would never hurt her. "Merry Christmas, Sharon. I'll see you tomorrow, we can wrap up this case and you can be with your family."
He watched her walk inside the church before turning back and walking to find a taxi. Maybe he could go out of state with his kids, find another job somewhere. He could always call Andrew; see if he had any work going for him. As he was lost in his thoughts once again, he heard someone call his name. He turned back to have Sharon fling herself into his arms and kiss him on the mouth. He kissed her back, and grinned when he realised she was still carrying her suitcase.
"Back so soon?"
Sharon smiled, clutching onto his face. She was shaking, she was crying a little. "I love you, Will. I really do. I don't want to jump in, I want to run away and hide. But I keep thinking that this Christmas stuck here would be bearable if you were with me."
"So what do you suggest, Sharon?" He held her tight around her waist, enjoying her smile. He had missed her smile, her smell, just the way her body moulded to his. He was a man in love, and it showed. "I'll do anything to hold you again."
She nuzzled against her body before reaching down and grabbing his hand. She exhaled. "Come with me."
Sharon took his hand, and reached for her suitcase, but Will took it in his hand. They walked towards the church, Sharon smiling all the way. They got to the archway of the church when Will turned to her. His heart was beating hard in his chest, but he couldn't think of anything more wonderful than that moment with her.
"I don't have a ring."
She produced his engagement ring from her jacket. "I do."
They walked into the church, gripping each other's hands tight: horrified of the past, scared for the present and excited for the future. Will reluctantly admitted in his bed later that night with his new wife that 2010 would end just as it had begun. Perfect, and with a beautiful FID Captain by his side.