Title: Devil's Little Sister

Pairing: Zoro x Robin, Luffy x Nami, Usopp x Kaya, Kohza x Vivi, etc.

Rating: T for f-bombs, sexuality, crude humor

Summary: AU. Life, for Zoro, was just fine. Life would be just same ol' same ol' routine had it not been for the fact that he had some crazy individuals he liked to call his friends and for the fact that he had this nasty little habit of sneaking out during the wee hours of the night in order to fight illegally in a notorious and ruthless fight club known as the Grand Line. If that' not enough to keep him occupied, an intelligent and mysterious black-haired beauty has appeared; the first step in a series of chain events which will change his life irrevocably.

Note: I revised the chapters since more people are reading this than I thought. Heh.

Prologue

Keep holding on when
My brain's ticking like a bomb
Guess the black thoughts have
Come again to get me
Sweet bitter words
Unlike nothing I have heard
Sing along mocking bird
You don't affect me

"Coming Undone", Korn

~0~

The day had the trappings of normality. When he had woken up, his bed was still there, the ceiling was still above him, gravity still held him in his grip, he was still in America, and his hair was still green. When he had eaten breakfast and gone outside, the bright star they called the sun still hung proud and golden in the sky. The day was simply like every single day that had come before it. There was absolutely nothing to warn him of what the day had in store. There was nothing to inform him that this was the day that he met the devil's little sister.

When he met her he was unaware that somewhere, far off, people whom he had never heard of before, called her a variety of colorful and macabre names. Demon's child. Devil's bride. Daughter of Satan, to name just a few.

Later, when things exploded and the shit hit the fan, to be metaphorically vulgar if you will; he would think back to this day and wonder how shit had gone so wrong. The day had been decidedly normal, after all.

~0~

Zoro really didn't know why he went to school. There were quite a few things he could have done instead, namely drinking, sleeping, and training. Walking to the Red Line High School at six in the morning sometimes made him feel like punting little kids across the field. But his zero period weights class waited for no man. And was he going to become a top-notch swordsman if he didn't drag himself up and force himself to benchpress for one steamy, hellish hour? He thought not.

But fuck, they needed to change the school rules so that they could lug a beer cooler into the Weights rooms with no questions asked. I mean, a man couldn't survive in such a hard, cruel world without the comforting pop and fizz of an opened beer can, now could he? What was training hard without the sour, grainy fermentation of Coors hitting the flat of his tongue and rolling deliciously down the back of his throat and hitting the steam of his belly with a satisfying hiss? The school would have been a happier place if it was beer-friendly.

He glanced at his watch, a cheap little digital thing. he should hurry up; he was going to be late. Zoro picked up the pace, his feet hitting the ground in a rapid tattoo. His exhales coming out as a fog in the cold October air.

~0~

"Wake up man," a voice hissed in his ear, "something hot just walked in. Wake up and enjoy the view while it lasts."

He groaned, not wanting to wake. Zero period always sucked every single joule of energy from his body it seemed. First period was always the same: walk in with bleary eyes, all but fall into his designated seat next to his best friend Sanji Allblue, close his eyes, sleep, and suffer as Sanji annoyed him in all ways possible.

But Sanji was relentless, "Zoro! I think she's a new student type of person!" His voice all but gloated.

"So?" he muttered back, "This isn't your personal harem cook." Though the way Sanji acted, it sure seemed like it sometimes.

He always called Sanji cook. Just like Sanji always called him mossy. It was their form of fucked up affection. All rights reserved.

"It should be, I've laid half the girls here," Sanji answered loftily—though Zoro would have been surprised if Sanji had scored with even Kokoro in the corner—and continued to poke him in the ribs, "But this one Zoro, is like nothing I've ever seen before. She would be the queen of my kingdom, come on, at least look. Humor me bastard, just like I pretended to awe and ooh over your sword collection last Tuesday."

Zoro looked up, glaring, "You were pretending? And I trust you?"

"How the hell do you expect me to understand swords when you don't understand why I use fifteen different kinds of spices in one meal?" Sanji snapped back, eyebrow twitching.

"Point taken."

"All right, but at least look—"

"All right cook, all right—" Zoro turned his eyes to where a tall girl was talking to the teacher, her back to them. He couldn't see anything except her sweatered back and the fall of medium-length black hair which clung close to her head. There was nothing remarkable from the backside. Except that he could tell that she was rather tall and had a good form underneath her sweater and long, sweeping skirt.

"She's all right I guess. I can't see her face," he made to bury his face in his arms, but Sanji nudged a toe under his ribs.

"No, wait, she's turning—oh hot baby."

Zoro looked up again, eyelids all but dropping—oh damn. Oh, damn. Just…damn. Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. Bronzed skin, cornflower blue eyes, silky black hair, a clear-cut nose, full lips, high breasts, high cheekbones. Her lips moved soundlessly as she continued to talk to the teacher, who was nodding and shifting through papers at the desk in front of the room.

An internal scoreboard went up in his head. Ching! Ten!

Next to him he could hear Sanji murmuring, "Excuse me miss? Is your name Summer? Because you sure are hot. Oh, I'm Sanji, is your name board? Because I want to nail you. Are you a light switch? Because you just turned me on."

Zoro snorted laughter and dropped his head between his arms again. Immediately Sanji was offended, as if Zoro had just personally slighted him. "Hey! How can you not look at her? She's a babe!"

He refused to acknowledge the shoe nudging him, "Sure she is. I've noticed it, documented it, and stored it for further use. But respect the woman Sanji. One ogle is enough. Poor thing, she's probably terrified transferring into a new school."

The bell rang. Sanji ignored it. "Should I go ask her to sit with us? You know, be nice? Get her some friends?"

"Were you even listening to me idiotcook?"

"Huh? What's you say?" Sanji's eyes were shining as he admired the mystery girl from afar. Zoro swore he could see a trickle of drool just barely escaping from his open mouth.

"Goddamn you. I hope your dick rots from syphilis."

Usopp Sogeking, another good friend, trudged into the room and plopped down next to Sanji in time to catch the last comment, "Hey guys. What up? No love lost between you guys eh?" He tossed his purse-ish thing onto the desk and fixed his bandana.

Sanji glared at him, and then suddenly smiled sweetly, "Oh hey Usopp, we're changing seats today. You don't sit there anymore. Get your ass out of here."

Usopp rolled his eyes, "Uh-huh. Why are you sitting with Zoro then and why is everybody else sitting exactly where they're supposed to be sitting?"

"I hate to break it to you man, but teacher actually told me that since you talk too much he's moving you to the front. I tried to ease you up to it," was the smooth answer from the flirt's chainsmoking mouth.

"Sanji, I have a ninety-eight percent in this class and both 'outstanding' in my work habits and citizenship. Mr. Montblanc loves me. It's you two jokers he hates," Usopp smirked, "Baby, don't bullshit a bullshitter."

"Yeah, fuck you longnose. I'm mighty proud of my eighty two percent," Sanji said, grinning. Zoro backed him up by putting the middle finger up lazily. He had to admit, Sanji and he were pretty bad and Mr. Montblanc really did hate them.

"I think you added twenty percent there Sanji," Zoro put in from where his head was lying sleepily on the desk, "And that reminds me…you're barely passing AP Calculus aren't you?"

"Shut up. That's 'coz all we do in that class is mess around mossy."

"So? I have a B."

Usopp, frowning, interjected, "Sanji, you're pretty damn smart. Why the hell aren't you passing your classes?"

"I am passing them!" Sanji snapped back, outraged.

"Well, why aren't you getting at least B's?" Usopp demanded.

"I know the answer to that," Zoro remarked, "It's 'coz he does more thinking with the thing in his jeans than the thing in his head."

Sanji scoffed, "I just don't turn in my work. I ace the tests though."

Mr. Montblanc clapped his hands enthusiastically as the bell rang for the second time, signaling the commencement of class, "Students! I'm pleased to announce a new student from Argentina, Ms. Robin Nico everyone."

"Robin…" Sanji sighed dreamily. Zoro took a look around; more than a few guys were either salivating with their eyes, or were leaning back in their chairs, trying to look like the shit. He snorted and his head hit the desk again. Idiots.

"Well, hopefully you'll like Grand Line High School as much as your old school. It's different, but I'm sure you'll like it Robin," Mr. Montblanc said warmly, "We give you a warm welcome."

"Thank you," the girl said, and smiled softly, her tone carried well and Zoro was pleased to notice that her voice wasn't like all the other girl's—high, sweet falsetto—but was a true butterscotch alto. Low and vibrant. He could swear Sanji was moaning in the sea beside him.

He grabbed a pencil eraser and threw it playfully at the blond, "Hey, watch it. I don't need you getting happy down there. Two guys in the back, best friends? It wouldn't look right."

Sanji gave him the finger and went back to worshipping Robin Nico.

Mr. Bontblanc pointed to an empty desk in the third row, near the door, "Why don't you take that seat Robin? You can just relax and watch how the class works for today. I'll give you a few days to adapt so then you can start learning about our great country, okay?"

Robin nodded again and moved through the students and desks to her seat. As she was passing by and as the class began to be filled with the noise of students taking out their notebooks and pens, a blonde girl called Kalifa, whom Zoro knew and disliked, said quietly but in a voice which carried nicely along the rows, "Lesson number one: long skirts have been out of fashion since the civil war, darling." The two or three girls with Kalifa giggled.

There was a hush as Robin froze, mere feet from her seat, the bag on her shoulder right about to slip off.

Zoro's mouth turned down at the corner. Whatta bitch Kalifa is.

Luckily, Sanji saved the situation. He could be a complete idiot most of the time too horny to think straight; but that there was a true streak of self-sacrificing chivalry, Zoro couldn't deny and would be the first to defend.

The blond perked up, "So? She looks hot in it. It looks good. And by the way, my name's Sanji Allblue, I'm currently single, and my number is—"

The class burst into good-natured laughter and the moment passed. Robin sat down and, turning her head, favored Sanji with one of the slowest, most luxurious smiles that Zoro had ever seen. Sanji's chest puffed out in pride.

He nudged Zoro, "See that bro? I believe I just made a conquest."

Zoro snorted and shaking his head, tried to sleep without the teacher noticing. That was how he met Robin Nico and how, unbeknownst to himself, his destiny had just been irrevocably changed.

~0~

To be Continued xD You lyke?