Disclaimer: Own Toby.

A/N - Okay, there's a Mel fic coming real soon but its in the making. For now, enjoy a little Brotherhood mischief.

"Time is twenty one hundred hours. Subject has left room to shower. Moving in. Crrrrrrrr Roger Roger." Moonlight glinted on a sapphire blue eye and then it was gone.

- - -

"Hey Pietro, what's so funny?" Todd asked as he walked into the speedster's room.

The slender teen sat on his bed, in boxers and a tee shirt, bent double with laughter.

"J-Jean. T-Tv. She, she," he collapsed laughing.

"Huh?" Todd frowned, moving forward to where Pietro's tv (daddy's present) sat. On the screen was Jean, in her bedroom, and she was talking to the mirror.

"Aye?" Todd frowned, leaning closer. "How did Jean get on tv?"

"I p-planted a camera," Pietro managed between laughs. "But l-listen. She, she," he collapsed laughing again. Todd listened.

Jean was holding her hairbrush to her chest and pretending to wipe away imaginary tears. "I'm just so happy," Jean was saying, "I don't know what to say really. It came as such a surprise. I'd like to thank my mom, she's been a God send; and Professor Xavier. You helped me through tough times. And I'd just like to say that I really do want world peace and as Miss Universe I'm going to make the country and indeed, the world, a better place."

"She's practising her Miss Universe speech!?!" Todd cried in between hysterical laughter. "Oh god, oh god, oh god! Its priceless!"

"I know!" Pietro gasped. "She's been doing it for half an hour! Before that it was the whole Marsha Bradey thing with the hair counting. 998, 999,1000!"

"Hey, hey!" Todd hushed Pietro, "she's stopped. What's she doing now? Oh my god, she isn't is she?"

"She is!" Pietro crowed triumphantly. "Go Jean!"

"No!" Todd cried. "That's just morally wrong!"

"Line dancing! Oh god, I think I just died and went to Jean's shame faced heaven."

"This would make perfect blackmail," Todd mused.

"Don't I know it," Pietro grinned.

The next day

"Is Big Brother watching?" Todd asked, poking his head into Pietro's room.

"With popcorn," Pietro grinned, holding up the bowl. "Come on in."

"What are you two doing?" Lance asked.

"Watching Jean make a fool of herself," Todd answered. "Pietro planted a camera in her room."

"Really?" Lance said. "I'm in."

"Be my guest," Pietro made a sweeping gesture about his room. "I've got popcorn."

"Popcorn?" Freddy said, walking in.

"Hey. What are you all doing in here?" Toby asked, walking in after Freddy.

"Jean watching," Lance answered. "Come. Sit."

"I don't know if you should - "

"No. Its not morally wrong," Pietro interrupted, "she's the enemy. Now sit." Obediently Toby sat.

Jean was sitting in front of her mirror again, smiling, and again brushing away imaginary tears.

"I'm just so happy," she said. "I knew from the moment I saw him that he was the one."

"I'm betting Duncan," Lance said.

"Scott," Pietro grinned.

"You're on," Lance said, slapping Pietro's open hand.

"And even though some have been trying to keep us apart," at this Jean glared at a teddy bear labelled 'Taryn,' "I've managed to triumph over all odds. Though that's no surprise seeing as I am the prettiest girl in the school." She flicked her scarlet hair.

"OOOOOOOOOH!" all the Brotherhood boys went, "BITCHEEEEEY!"

"Anyway," Jean continued, "I'd just like to say that I'm so happy that Toby and I are finally married...."

"WHAT!?!" Toby yelled.

"Mwahahahahaha!" Pietro collapsed laughing, (as did the rest of the Brotherhood), "s-she's marry, m-marrying. She, she, oh my god this is the priceless!"

"No its not!" Toby wailed, "its terrible! She wants to marry me!"

"And when we have kids....."

"And have your children!" Lance and Pietro chorused.

"How will I ever look at her again?" Toby moaned. "I feel so...........violated."

"New verse to our cheer!" Pietro grinned, leaping to his feet whilst he still stood on the bed. "Toby, Toby, Jean still luvs 'im. Only cause she wants to fuck him!"

'That's vulgar and disgusting!" Toby cried, diving at Pietro. Pietro easily dodged him and laughed.

"Calm down Mr Grey, you don't want to tire yourself out before the wedding night."

"There will be no wedding night!"

"Too late now," Lance snickered. "You're supposed to say that when the priest goes, 'speak now or forever hold your peace,' and then you go - "

"I OBJECT!" Pietro cried, punching a hand into the air.

"But we're not married!" Toby cried in exasperation.

"Not yet you ain't," Todd agreed, "but just you wait. She'll get you when you leeeeeeeast expect it."

"And then.......WHAM!" Pietro said. "Game over."

"Don't let her get you Toby," Freddy said wisely, "or there's no turning back."

"And he speaks from personal experience," Todd nodded, patting Freddy on the back.

"I only wanted a soda!" Freddy wailed.

"There, there big guy," Todd said, patting his broad back. "There, there."

"You're all nuts!" Toby cried in exasperation.

"What ho, I say, peace in this prison!" Pietro cried, leaping to the floor.

"Who calls there?" Lance grinned, catching the play.

"Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Toby the lunatic," Pietro recited, grinning madly.

"What?" Toby frowned. "You're all insane! I'm not a lunatic, and I don't want to marry Jean!"

"Out hyperbolical fiend!" Pietro cried, smacking Toby across the head. "How vexest though this man? Talkest though of nothing but ladies?"

"Well said Master Parson," Lance put in.

"What the hell!?!" Toby cried. "What are you talking about?"

"Fie thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the modest terms; for I am one of the gentle ones," at this Pietro smacked Toby over the head again, "will use the devil himself with courtesy. Sayest thou that the house is dark?"

"I didn't say that!" Toby yelled. "And stop quoting Shakespeare!"

"Madman thou errest!" Pietro cried, pointing a finger at Toby in horror. "To the dark house with thee!"

"NO!" Toby yelped. "Go away! Help! Lance, leave me alone! Freddy! Not you too! Don't do this to me! I'll give you food. Arrgh! Not the cellar! Pietro? Todd? Lance? Freddy? I HATE YOU ALL!"

Some weeks later

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Pietro's voice rang out over the cafeteria, "well, geeks, preps, norms, losers etc etc....I give you a new moment in Bayville history. I call it, 'Portrait of a not so lady like Lady.' "

"Like, what's he up to now?" Kitty whispered to Bobby, who sat beside her.

"Beats me," Bobby shrugged.

"You will notice," Pietro continued, "that there is, placed for your viewing pleasure, a number of tvs about the room. I shall now play my master piece. Enjoy."

The screen filled with a picture of Jean dancing in a ridiculous way to some country western. A voice over cut through the music, (Freddy).

"Every once in a while one is born. A girl that all admire, look up to. A girl that other girls bitch about behind her back. That girl is Jean Grey, and this is her true story."

"What!?!" Jean gaped, looking at the screen in disbelief. A few snickers came from a few students.

A cut of Jean carefully brushing her hair as she sung slightly off key, 'I've met so many men and, its like they're all the same. My appetite for lovin', is now my hunger pain. And when I'm feeling sexy, who's going to comfort me," at this point she pouted into the mirror, "who's gonna comfort me? My only problem is, their insecurities." She grinned at the mirror and yelled, "EAST SIDE!"

The entire cafeteria erupted in hysterical laughter and Jean went bright red. The next cut was the Toby speech. As she reached the part, 'after all, I am the prettiest in school,' she got glares from nearly every girl in the room; but when she said the next line the cafeteria erupted.

"YOU BITCH HE'S MINE!"

"

"NO, HE'S MY HUSBAND!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU PRETTIEST IN SCHOOL!" Mind screeched, rushing for Jean, "LET'S GET HER GIRLS!" Jean fled in the face of the new threat.

"Well, well, well," Pietro grinned, standing up on a table, 'looks like the ladies have left. What do the guys say to a little underwear modelling?"

"HOO HOO HOO!"

"YES!"

"BRING ON THE LADY!" Came a chorus of shouts.

"It would be my pleasure," Pietro bowed low and the screen was once more filled with the popular red head, though this time, clothes were hardly anywhere to be seen.

- - -

Mwahahaha. That was evil and fun. *grins* sorry taken so long but I have had so many papers due. I'm actually supposed to be working on one right now. Oh, and before I forget, I was asked by celestial elf if I could do a kinda alternate universe Pietro/Toby for just one fic. (She begged okay). I said I'd see what others thought and if they wanted a little Valentines Pietro and Toby romance. Tell me K? Till next time, Becs.