Kitty Quest

A YUROANET Game
(A subsidiary of BAILESUCOM)

By Jason C. Ulloa
Based on a concept by John Walter Biles

Asleep
You are asleep.

)WHO AM I?
You're Barney the Dinosaur.

)COMMIT SUICIDE
You grab a nearby sledgehammer and repeatedly bash your head in with it until you die, thereby doing a great service to all humankind.

***You have died.***

[RESTART/RESTORE/QUIT?]

By the way, I was just kidding about you being Barney.

)REALLY?
Yes, really. Now, restart so we can get this game going already.

)RESTART

Asleep
You are asleep.

)WHO AM I?
You're definitely *not* Barney the Dinosaur. However, you are a gray, furry, little kitten that goes by the name of Diana.

)I'M A KITTEN?
That's what I said.

)I'M PLAYING A *KITTEN*?
Nothing gets by you, does it?

)FINE, I'LL BITE. GOAL?
Your goal is to be as pointlessly and as annoyingly cute as possible.

)HA, HA. NO, SERIOUSLY. WHAT'S THE GOAL?
I'm serious. That's the goal. You're a gray, furry, little kitten, after all. It's what they do.

)COMMIT SUICIDE
You have an Inability to Commit Suicide, so you can't.

)DAMN.
Sorry.

Oh, wait. There *was* something else, but I can't remember it at the moment.

)...YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING. A *GAME* CAN'T REMEMBER ITS OWN GOAL?
There have been great advances in text-based adventure games in the past few years.

)YOU CALL FORGETFULNESS AN ADVANCEMENT?
...shut up.

)TRY TO REMEMBER GOAL
You try to remember your goal, but it might take a while.

)WAKE UP THEN.
There is no one named "Then" here.

)WAKE UP
You open your eyes.

Chibiusa's Room

You are in Chibiusa's room in the Tsukino household. The room, which used to be the attic, is decorated in cute pink colors, but not overpoweringly so, thank goodness. You are lying on Chibiusa's bed, which is neatly made. There is a dresser and a mirror across from the bed and a nightstand sitting next to it. On one end of the room is a large wooden wardrobe. At the other end of the room, you can see a stairway leading down to the second floor.

)INVENTORY
You are carrying:
Bell Collar (worn)
Ability to Speak
Pointlessly Annoying Cuteness
Immunity to Diabetes
Inability to Commit Suicide
Invisible Bag of Holding

)LOOK AT BAG
You can't see the bag. That's probably because it's invisible.

)THEN, HOW DO I KNOW IT'S THERE?
You just do.

)THERE'S A COP-OUT ANSWER IF I EVER HEARD ONE.
Look, smartass, you're a kitten. You don't exactly come equipped with pockets, now do you? Now, stop trying to rationalize things and play the damn game already!

)CAN I AT LEAST LOOK INSIDE THE BAG?
You feel around for the bag, then open it up. Inside, you find a gold nugget, a Time Key, a universal remote control, a small bag of Cheetos, a can of Pepsi, a towel, a laser pointer, and Jimmy Hoffa.

)LOOK AT JIMMY HOFFA
Jimmy quickly shakes his head. "Look, just pretend you never saw me," he says and goes back into hiding somewhere within the folds of your bag.

)...
Perhaps you're better off not knowing?

)CLOSE BAG
You close your bag.

)HEALTH
You are in good condition.
You are hungry.
You are feeling pretty.
You are not a Jedi.
You are trying to remember your goal.

)JUMP OFF BED
You hop down off of the bed.

)DESCEND STAIRS
You climb down the stairs.

Tsukino Residence - Second Floor

You are in the second floor hallway of the Tsukino Residence. You can see doors leading to Usagi's room, Shingo's room, the Master Bedroom, and the bathroom. At the end of the hallway is a stairway leading to the living room. Behind you are stairs leading up to Chibiusa's room.

Usagi arrives from her bedroom.

)LOOK USAGI
This is Tsukino Usagi, otherwise known as Sailor Moon, Super Sailor Moon, Eternal Sailor Moon, the Moon Princess, the future Neo Queen Serenity, Odango Atama (or Meatball Head, depending on who you're asking), and Princess Angelina Contessa Lousia Francesca Banana Fana Bobesca the Third. She is wearing her usual pink rabbit pajamas and her hair is in its usual twin ponytails and odango. She is also the future mother of your charge, Tsukino Usagi, otherwise known as Chibiusa, or Small Lady.

By the way, I was lying about that Angelina Contessa... whatever.

Usagi looks at you and smiles. "Good morning, Diana. Have you come down for breakfast?"

)NOD AND SAY "YES, USAGI-SAMA!"
Usagi glances behind you and up toward Chibiusa's Room. "Is Chibiusa still up in her room?"

)SAY "NO, USAGI-SAMA."
Usagi frowns. "I didn't hear her come down from her room. That's strange." She shrugs and turns toward the stairs. "Oh, well. It's time for breakfast!"

Usagi descends down the stairs.

)HMM. DO YOU SUPPOSE FINDING CHIBIUSA IS THE GOAL?
Why are you asking me? You're the one who's trying to remember your goal.

)GO LIVING ROOM
You cheer for the Living Room. It thanks you.

)GO TO LIVING ROOM
You descend the stairs and head for the living room.

Tsukino Residence - Living Room

You are in the Living Room of the Tsukino Residence. There is a TV here as well as a couch and a comfy chair. Ahead of you is the door leading outside, while off to the side and behind you is the doorway leading to the kitchen. There are several pairs of shoes near the entrance; however, being a kitten, this has no significance to you whatsoever.

Shingo is here.

)LOOK SHINGO
This is Tsukino Shingo, Usagi's little brother. He used to have a fear of cats, but ever since Luna started living with Usagi, he hasn't shown any fear since. He is watching TV and hasn't noticed your presence.

)SO, DOES HE STILL FEAR CATS?
Don't know. Care to try and find out?

)SOUNDS FUN. MEOW AT SHINGO. LOUDLY.
You pad over to where Shingo is sitting and hop up on the couch. You take a deep breath and meow loudly at Shingo. Or, at least that was your intention, as the meow comes out as a cute, little mewl.

"Yaaagh!" Shingo yelps as he leaps a good meter and a half in the air and starts to run off, pausing only to put on his shoes before going outside. Looks like it worked all the same.

)LAUGH MY KITTY ASS OFF
You laugh your ass off, rolling on the floor for good measure.

)GO TO KITCHEN
You head for the kitchen.

Tsukino Residence - Kitchen

You are in the kitchen of the Tsukino Residence. It is a nice, well-kept kitchen, thanks to the efforts of Tsukino Ikuko, Usagi's mother. There is a table with what remains of breakfast after Hurricane Usagi.

Ikuko is here.
Usagi is here.
)ASK FOR FOOD
You meow at Ikuko, using your Pointlessly Annoying Cuteness for maximum effect.

"Good morning to you, Diana," Ikuko says with a smile as she lays a saucer of milk and a small platter of pancake pieces in front of you.

)EAT PANCAKE PIECES
Done. They are yummy and good.

)DRINK MILK
Done. Ah. That really hit the spot.

)HEALTH
You are in good condition.
You are no longer hungry.
You are feeling pretty.
You are not a Jedi.
You are trying to remember your goal.

)POKE IKUKO
You poke Ikuko with a paw.

"Yes, dear?" she says, glancing down at you.

)ACT OUT LOOKING FOR CHIBIUSA
You put on an elaborate performance, acting out your desire to look for Chibiusa.

Ikuko smiles. "Oh, how nice! I didn't know you knew the Hokey Pokey." She starts dancing the Hokey Pokey as well.

Apparently, you lack the skill to get your point across clearly. At the same time, Usagi bursts out laughing and starts to choke on her food.

)PERFORM HEIMLICH MANEUVER ON USAGI
Judging from the human-to-cat mass ratio, your feeble attempts would probably be ineffective at best.

)PAT USAGI'S BACK
And tell her what a good job she's doing choking on her breakfast?

)LOOK USAGI
She's still choking on her breakfast and flailing about wildly.

)LOOK IKUKO
She's busy putting her left leg in and putting her left leg out, oblivious to whatever else is going on.

)MEOW AT IKUKO
You meow at Ikuko.

"I haven't done this in years!" she says happily without looking up from shaking her left leg all about.

Usagi's face is starting to turn red.

)POKE IKUKO
You urgently poke Ikuko in the leg.

"That's what it's all about!" she says after turning herself around.

Usagi's face is red and she is starting to lose consciousness.

)CLAW IKUKO'S LEG
You start clawing at Ikuko's leg.

Ikuko yelps in pain and turns around to scold you. "Hey! Bad kitt-! Oh!" she exclaims upon noticing Usagi. She quickly rushes to her daughter's side and performs the Heimlich Maneuver on her, dislodging whatever she was choking on.

"Thanks..., Mom...," Usagi says as she gasps for breath.

"Usagi, you know you shouldn't be inhaling your food!" she scolds Usagi.

"Sorry, Mom."

)MEOW AT IKUKO
"Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I don't have time to do the Hokey Pokey again," Ikuko sighs.

)DESCRIBE THE ACT OF LOOKING FOR CHIBIUSA USING INTERPRETIVE DANCE
...no. Just no.

)DRAW A PICTURE OF ME LOOKING FOR CHIBIUSA
You don't have a pencil or a piece of paper.

)LOOK FOR A PENCIL AND PAPER
You notice a notepad on the counter. Its corner is sticking out just far enough for you to bat down.

)BAT DOWN THE NOTEPAD
You hop up and bat down the notepad.

)TAKE NOTEPAD
Taken.

)DRAW A PICTURE OF ME LOOKING FOR CHIBIUSA
You don't have a pencil.

)USE A PEN TO DRAW A PICTURE OF ME LOOKING FOR CHIBIUSA
You don't have a pen.

)USE MAPLE SYRUP TO DRAW A PICTURE OF ME LOOKING FOR CHIBIUSA
That wouldn't work very well.

)USE BLOOD TO DRAW A PICTURE OF ME LOOKING FOR CHIBIUSA
Whose blood?

)USAGI'S BLOOD
This sentence too disturbing.

Usagi notices you staring at the notepad. "Maybe you could try Daisuke's Odds and Ends Emporium or the Tokyo Mega Super Store of Stuff?" Usagi suggests. "I'm sure you could find something to write with there."

)BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID.
You wuss.

)LOOK FOR PENCIL
There is no pencil here.

)GO TO LIVING ROOM
You head into the living room.

Tsukino Residence - Living Room

You are in the Living Room of the Tsukino Residence. There is a TV here as well as a couch and a comfy chair. Ahead of you is the door leading outside, while off to the side and behind you is the doorway leading to the kitchen. There are several pairs of shoes near the entrance; however, being a kitten, this has no significance to you whatsoever.

)LOOK TV
You notice that the TV is still on.

)WATCH TV
MacGuyver is on. In this episode, you watch as MacGuyver makes a rocket launcher out of hair spray, Vaseline, a cardboard tube, a couple of rubber bands, and a stick of Wrigley's Spearmint gum. It's a classic.

)LOOK FOR PENCIL
There is no pencil here.

)GO OUTSIDE
You exit the house.

Tsukino Residence - Entrance

You are in front of the Tsukino residence. It is a nice two-story house, similar in appearance to other two-story houses in the area.

)NORTH
You head north.

Street

You are on a street going north and south. There are several nice two-story houses in the area. You can see the Tsukino residence just south of here. There is a small shopping plaza north of here.

)NORTH
You head north.

Shopping Plaza

You are near a small shopping plaza. There are several small shops located here, such as the House of Paint; The Chopstick Shoppe; Fish, Fish, Fish, Fish, Squid, and Fish; Roscoe's House of Chicken 'n Waffles; Yumi's Express Floral Shop; Hiroshi's Bakery; and a branch of the Nekohanten. There is also a dental office, a family medical clinic, a veterinary clinic, and a law office.

You hear a strange rumbling sound approaching.

)SAVE
Game saved.

)LOOK AT RUMBLING SOUND
How exactly do you look at a sound?

You hear a strange rumbling sound approaching.

)EXAMINE RUMBLING SOUND
It sounds like something that rumbles.

You hear a strange rumbling sound approaching.

)WELL, THAT'S HELPFUL.
As you are trying to figure out what that rumbling sound is, you are suddenly hit by the right front tire of a red 1990 Alfa Romeo SZ.

***You have died.***

[RESTART/RESTORE/QUIT?]

)...THAT'S *NOT* HELPFUL.
Well, what were you expecting?

)RESTORE
Game restored.

)GET OUT OF THE WAY
Of what?

)GET OUT OF THE WAY OF THE RUMBLING SOUND
Which way?

)JUMP RIGHT
You jump to the right, avoiding the right front tire of an oncoming red 1990 Alfa Romeo SZ. However, you are instead hit by the left front tire of an oncoming red 1990 Alfa Romeo SZ.

***You have died.***

[RESTART/RESTORE/QUIT?]

)RESTORE
Game restored.

)JUMP LEFT
You jump to the left, avoiding the right front tire of an oncoming red 1990 Alfa Romeo SZ. However, you jump too hard and smack head-first into the front door of a veterinary clinic.

)HEALTH
You are poor condition.
You are suffering from a head injury.
You are no longer hungry.
You are feeling pretty.
You are not a Jedi.
You are trying to remember your goal.

)LOOK VET CLINIC
It's a small veterinary clinic owned by a Ninomiya-sensei, according to the name on the front of the clinic. It doesn't seem to be too busy at the moment.

)ENTER VET CLINIC
You run smack into the door. Ow. Your head injury worsens.

)OPEN DOOR
Which door?

)OPEN VET CLINIC DOOR
You attempt to open the door, but it is a push/pull door and your side says "Pull" and you are too small to effectively pull it open.

)USE CROWBAR TO PRY OPEN DOOR
You don't have a crowbar.

)USE PSYCHIC POWERS TO OPEN DOOR
You don't have psychic powers.

)USE THE FORCE TO OPEN DOOR
You are not a Jedi.

)BECOME A JEDI
There aren't any Jedi to train under here. You'd have to go to a galaxy far, far away. Not to mention they all existed a long, long time ago.

)KICK THE DOOR IN FRUSTRATION
You kick the door and stub your little kitty toes. Ow.

A moment later, someone opens the door and peers outside. "Yes?" a middle-aged man asks as he looks around. "Is someone playing a prank?" He stops as he looks down at you. "Oh! You poor thing! Let me bring you inside!" He picks you up and takes you inside the clinic.

Ninomiya Veterinary Clinic

You are sitting on a table in one of the patient rooms in the vet clinic. It's very sterile-looking with several vet-related posters and such decorating the walls alongside all the veterinary degrees hanging on the wall.

The middle-aged man is here.

"Ninomiya-sensei will be with you in a moment, kitty," he says and turns to leave.

The middle-aged man departs.

)WAIT
Time passes.

Ninomiya-sensei enters from the next room.

"So, where's our little patient with the head injury?" she inquires as she glances around the room.

)LOOK NINOMIYA-SENSEI
This is Ninomiya Kaori, an experienced veterinarian. She is very skilled; however, she is both getting on in age and is prone to forgetfulness.

Like, for example, that she needs to wear glasses. And that her glasses are sitting on top of her head.

)SAVE
Game saved.

)MEOW
You meow.

"Oh! There you are. Now then, let me see..." She examines you for a moment. "Okay, I'm going to give you a dose of sleeping gas while I stitch you up. This will just be a moment." She attaches a facemask to your face and turns a knob on the wall.

You start to feel funny.

)HEALTH
You are critical condition.
You are suffering from a head injury.
You are no longer hungry.
You are feeling pretty.
You are not a Jedi.
You are trying to remember your goal.

)CRITICAL CONDITION? LOOK AT WALL KNOB.
Which one?

)LOOK AT OPEN WALL KNOB
You look at the label underneath the knob Ninomiya-sensei turned. It says, "Sevoflurane."

)WAIT! THAT'S NOT SLEEPING GAS!
It's too late. You quickly fall unconscious as the elderly veterinarian accidentally puts you to sleep.

***You have died.***

[RESTART/RESTORE/QUIT?]

)THAT IS JUST WRONG.
Probably so.

)RESTORE
Game restored.

)JUMP UP AND BAT NINOMIYA-SENSEI'S GLASSES DOWN OVER HER EYES
You crouch down for a moment, then leap up toward Ninomiya-sensei's head and bat at her glasses. The glasses slip and tumble down onto her face, landing squarely on her nose.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, jumping back in surprise. "Well, that's certainly much better." She turns to you and smiles gratefully. "Thank you, dearie. I forgot I wasn't wearing them again. Silly me."

)FACEPALM
You smack a paw onto your forehead in vexation.

Ow. You resolve to never hit yourself in the head while you have a head injury.

"Now then, let me see..." She says as she examines you for a moment. "Okay, I'm going to give you a dose of sleeping gas while I stitch you up. This will just be a moment." She attaches a facemask to your face and turns a knob on the wall.

You start to feel sleepy.

)HEALTH
You are sleepy.
You are suffering from a head injury.
You are no longer hungry.
You are feeling pretty.
You are not a Jedi.
You are trying to remember your goal.

You fall asleep.

Asleep

You are asleep.

)WAIT
Time passes.

You feel the effects of the sleeping gas wear off.

)WAKE UP
You open your eyes.

Ninomiya Veterinary Clinic

You are lying on a table in one of the patient rooms in the vet clinic. It's very sterile-looking with several vet-related posters and such decorating the walls alongside all the veterinary degrees hanging on the wall.

Ninomiya-sensei is here.

)HEALTH
You are no longer sleepy.
You are no longer suffering from a head injury.
You are no longer hungry.
You are feeling pretty.
You are not a Jedi.
You are trying to remember your goal.

"There you go, dearie. Good as almost new," the vet says with a pleased smile on her face. "Please try to be careful to not get banged up like that again."

)THANK NINOMIYA-SENSEI
You meow a thank you to the veterinarian.

"That'll be 250,000 yen, please."

)JUST FOR A HEAD INJURY?
Medical bills are expensive, you know.

)BOGGLE
You boggle.

)USE POINTLESSLY ANNOYING CUTENESS ON NINOMIYA-SENSEI
"Aw...," the veterinarian says. "The bill is still 250,000 yen, though."

)WAVE A PAW AND SAY, "I DON'T HAVE TO PAY THE BILL."
You are still not a Jedi.

)HAND NINOMIYA-SENSEI THE GOLD NUGGET
Ninomiya-sensei gazes down at the gold nugget for a few moments, eyes wide open in shock, before fainting from euphoric financial security.

)LOOT NINOMIYA-SENSEI
She's not a dead body, you know.

)LOOT NINOMIYA-SENSEI!
Fine. You rifle through her pockets and find a gold nugget, a pack of gum, and a set of lockpicking tools.

)WAIT. LOCKPICKING TOOLS? ON A VET?
Yep.

)EH, WHATEVER. TAKE ALL.
Pack of Gum: Taken.
Lockpicking Tools: Taken.
Gold Nugget: Not Taken.

)HEY! WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE THE GOLD NUGGET?
That's payment for fixing your head.

)SO? TAKE IT ANYWAY.
This isn't some kind of game where you can just knock people unconscious and steal back your money. What's next? Planning on stealing a car?

)STEAL A CAR
There is no car here. Don't be stupid.

)LEAVE VET CLINIC
You exit the veterinary clinic.

Shopping Plaza

You are near a small shopping plaza. There are several small shops located here, such as the House of Paint; The Chopstick Shoppe; Fish, Fish, Fish, Fish, Squid, and Fish; Roscoe's House of Chicken 'n Waffles; Yumi's Express Floral Shop; Hiroshi's Bakery; and a branch of the Nekohanten. There is also a dental office, a family medical clinic, a veterinary clinic, and a law office.

)TRY TO REMEMBER GOAL
You try to remember your goal, but it might take a while.

)STILL? HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE?
As long as it takes.

)SIGH
You sigh.

)GO TO MAMORU'S APARTMENT
You don't know how to get there from here.

)SOUTH
You head south.

Street

You are on a street going north and south. There are several nice two-story houses in the area. You can see the Tsukino residence just south of here. There is a small shopping plaza north of here.

)SOUTH
You head south.

Tsukino Residence - Entrance

You are in front of the Tsukino residence. It is a nice two-story house, similar in appearance to other two-story houses in the area.

)ENTER TSUKINO RESIDENCE
You go inside.

Tsukino Residence - Living Room

You are in the Living Room of the Tsukino Residence. There is a TV here as well as a couch and a comfy chair. Behind you is the door leading outside, while off to the side and behind you is the doorway leading to the kitchen. There are several pairs of shoes near the entrance; however, being a kitten, this has no significance to you whatsoever.

)LOOK FOR IKUKO
There is no Ikuko here.

)SEARCH FOR IKUKO
You don't find any Ikuko in the living room.

)LOOK FOR CHIBIUSA
There is no Chibiusa here.

)SEARCH FOR CHIBIUSA
You don't find any Chibiusa in the living room.

)RELEASE THE HOUNDS
You call for a team of bloodhounds that suddenly burst into the room, sniff all over the place (including all over you), then drag you out the door, down the street, past the shopping center, past Mamoru's apartment complex (unfortunately, you're going too fast for you to get a good idea of where it is), past Daisuke's Odds and Ends Emporium, past the Tokyo Mega Super Store of Stuff, past the condos where Ami and her mother live, past the Kino's apartment complex, past Sendai Hill while Rei watches on as she sweeps the top of the stone steps leading to the Hikawa Jinja, past some fast-food chicken place with a plastic statue of a an elderly, bespectacled, white-bearded man in a white Southern Colonel's outfit, past Minako's house with Minako waving cheerily as you fly by, and finally back to the living room of the Tsukino residence. The bloodhounds all give you looks that are equal parts 'Sorry, Boss, couldn't find nothin',' and 'WHEEEE! That was FUN! Can we do that again?' before departing the way they came.

)...I HATE DOGS.
Seeing that you're a cat, that's understandable.

)CLIMB STAIRS
You climb up the stairs.

Tsukino Residence - Second Floor

You are in the second floor hallway of the Tsukino Residence. You can see doors leading to Usagi's room, Shingo's room, the Master Bedroom, and the bathroom. At the end of the hallway is a stairway leading to the living room. Behind you are stairs leading up to Chibiusa's room.

)CLIMB STAIRS
You climb up the stairs.

Chibiusa's Room

You are in Chibiusa's room in the Tsukino household. The room, which used to be the attic, is decorated in cute pink colors, but not overpoweringly so, thank goodness. You are lying on Chibiusa's bed, which is neatly made. There is a dresser and a mirror across from the bed and a nightstand sitting next to it. On one end of the room is a large wooden wardrobe. At the other end of the room, you can see a stairway leading down to the second floor.

)LOOK FOR CHIBIUSA
There is no Chibiusa here.

)SEARCH FOR CHIBIUSA
You don't find any Chibiusa in Chibiusa's Room.

)RELEASE THE HOUNDS
Do you REALLY want to go through all that again?

)LOOK FOR CLUES
You are not a blue cartoon dog.

)LOOK IN DRESSER
You rummage around in the dresser, but you don't find anything useful other than some clothes that would fit a girl Chibiusa's size.

)OPEN WARDROBE
You reach for the handle... okay, crouch down to leap for the handle. You leap and grab the handle, using your weight to help open the door. The handle turns and the wardrobe opens.

)LOOK IN WARDROBE
You peer into the wardrobe, but it's dark in there and hard to see. It looks like there's room for you to climb in.

)IS THIS THING SUPPOSED TO TAKE ME TO NARNIA OR SOMETHING?
It's just a wardrobe. Don't be silly.

)...RIGHT. CLOSE WARDROBE
You close the wardrobe.

)LOOK UNDER BED
You look under the bed. There really isn't anything under the bed, except for a couple of shoes.

)DESCEND STAIRS
You climb down the stairs.

Tsukino Residence - Second Floor

You are in the second floor hallway of the Tsukino Residence. You can see doors leading to Usagi's room, Shingo's room, the Master Bedroom, and the bathroom. At the end of the hallway is a stairway leading to the living room. Behind you are stairs leading up to Chibiusa's room.

)GO TO MASTER BEDROOM
The door is locked.

)GO TO SHINGO'S ROOM
The door is locked.

)GO TO USAGI'S ROOM
The door is locked.

)USE LOCKPICKING TOOLS ON USAGI'S DOOR
You don't know how to pick locks.

)DO IT ANYWAY
You fumble with the lockpicking tools, but they were obviously meant for human hands, not kitty paws.

)GO TO LIVING ROOM
The door is locked.

)WAIT. WHAT DOOR?
Just kidding.

)GO TO LIVING ROOM
You descend the stairs and head for the living room.

Tsukino Residence - Living Room

You are in the Living Room of the Tsukino Residence. There is a TV here as well as a couch and a comfy chair. Ahead of you is the door leading outside, while off to the side and behind you is the doorway leading to the kitchen. There are several pairs of shoes near the entrance; however, being a kitten, this has no significance to you whatsoever.

Usagi enters from the kitchen.

"Oh, you're back," she says as she plops down on the couch and reaches for the TV remote. "Say, have you seen Chibiusa? I haven't seen her all day."

)SHAKE MY HEAD AND SAY, "NO, USAGI-SAMA. I HAVEN'T SEEN HER, EITHER."
Usagi frowns for a moment. "That's strange," she says, then shrugs. "Oh, well. It's still early. She probably went outside to play or something. I'm sure she'll turn up whenever she gets hungry." She regards you for a moment. "If you're looking for Chibiusa, then you might as well grab something from the kitchen. I'm sure she'll be hungry if she hasn't eaten yet."

)LOOK FOR IKUKO
"If your looking for Mom, she went shopping a little while ago," Usagi tells you helpfully. "She won't be back for a while."

)ASK USAGI FOR DIRECTIONS TO MAMORU'S APARTMENT
"Mamo-chan's apartment? It's downtown at..." She proceeds to give you detailed directions to Mamoru's apartment.

"Wait," she says as a thought enters her mind. "You don't suppose that that brat went to go see my Mamo-chan, do you?"

)SUGGEST USAGI CALL TO SEE IF CHIBIUSA IS AT MAMORU'S APARTMENT
Usagi nods. "Good idea!" she shouts and rushes toward the phone.

)GO TO KITCHEN
You head for the kitchen.

Tsukino Residence - Kitchen

You are in the kitchen of the Tsukino Residence. It is a nice, well-kept kitchen, thanks to the efforts of Tsukino Ikuko, Usagi's mother. There is a table that looks freshly cleaned. It also looks like there is a fresh bowl of fruit sitting on the table.

)LOOK BOWL
It is a simple bowl of fruit. There are apples, oranges, and bananas in the bowl.

)TAKE BOWL
Taken.

)GO TO LIVING ROOM
You head into the living room.

Tsukino Residence - Living Room

You are in the Living Room of the Tsukino Residence. There is a TV here as well as a couch and a comfy chair. Ahead of you is the door leading outside, while off to the side and behind you is the doorway leading to the kitchen. There are several pairs of shoes near the entrance; however, being a kitten, this has no significance to you whatsoever.

Usagi is here.

"Hmph," she says as she hangs up the phone. "Looks like Mamo-chan's not home." You can hear the gears grinding as Usagi's brain attempts to shift to a higher gear.

)I SENSE A FOREBODING SENSE OF DOOM
It's very doomy.

)GO TO MAMORU'S APARTMENT COMPLEX
You start to leave when Usagi's thought process suddenly finishes with a strangely audible ding. "You don't suppose that brat's out with Mamo-chan? She probably thinks it's a date or something." Usagi scowls. "That's it! I'm going to go find her right now!"

Usagi runs off without another word.

)CALLED IT.
You get a brownie point. Well... not really. Care to follow her?

)NOT REALLY.
Oh, where's your sense of adventure?

)STUFF IT. SO, CAPE BOY'S NOT HOME, EH?
That's what Usagi said. Is your memory THAT bad?

)SHUT UP. GO TO MAMORU'S APARTMENT COMPLEX.
You go to Mamoru's apartment complex.

Outside Mamoru's Apartment Complex

You are standing outside of Mamoru's apartment complex. The street you are standing on runs east and west. To the east is more of Downtown Tokyo. To the west is a shopping center.

)ENTER APARTMENT
You enter the apartment complex.

Apartment Complex Lobby

You are in the lobby of Mamoru's apartment complex. It's not very fancy, but it is quite pleasant. There are a few potted plants here and there. A hallway leads to the front office where the manager works at. A revolving doorway leads outside. Over to your right is a door leading to the stairway and a pair of elevator doors.

)ENTER ELEVATOR
You run smack into the elevator doors. Ow.

)LOOK ELEVATOR
The elevator doors are closed. There is a button nearby with an arrow pointing up.

)PRESS BUTTON
You leap up and tag the button. The elevator doors open with a soft mechanical whir.

)ENTER ELEVATOR
You enter the elevator.

There are several buttons here.

)LOOK BUTTONS
There are several buttons on the panel. There's one for each floor, one labeled "Close Doors," one labeled "Open Doors," one labeled "Emergency Stop," one labeled "Emergency Go," one labeled "Emergency Evacuation," and one labeled "DO NOT TOUCH!"

)SAVE GAME
Game saved.

)PRESS DO NOT TOUCH BUTTON
The elevator doors close and a cheery voice announces over the PA system, "Thank you for pressing the 'Do Not Touch' button. This elevator will now self-destruct. Have a nice day."

The elevator explodes before you even have a chance to say "Thank you."

***You have died.***

[RESTART/RESTORE/QUIT?]

)WHAT THE HELL?
Well, it did say not to touch it.

)WHO THE HELL DESIGNS AN ELEVATOR TO EXPLODE?
Someone who thinks that people who deliberately touch buttons that say "DO NOT TOUCH" should be blown up.

)...
What?

)...YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT A STRANGE FEELING THAT I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE.
That's probably just your paranoia talking.

)RESTORE
Game restored.

)PRESS CLOSE DOORS BUTTON
The elevator doors close.

)PRESS BUTTON FOR MAMORU'S APARTMENT FLOOR
The elevator whirs to life as it slowly ascends to the floor where Mamoru's apartment is located. The door opens with a pleasant sounding ding.

)EXIT ELEVATOR
You exit the elevator.

Mamoru's Apartment Floor

You are standing in the hallway on the floor of Mamoru's apartment. The hallway stretches a good distance to the east and west, each direction leading to an elevator, stairs, and another hallway. From what you remember from Usagi's instructions, Mamoru's apartment should be east of here.

)EAST
You head east.

Outside Mamoru's Apartment

You are standing outside of Mamoru's apartment. The hallway stretches a good distance to the east and west, each direction leading to an elevator, stairs, and another hallway.

Usagi is here.

)SAY "WEREN'T YOU GOING TO LOOK FOR SMALL LADY, USAGI-SAMA?"
"I looked all over the place, but I couldn't find her," she said with a scowl. "I came here to see if Mamo-chan came back yet, but I knocked and no one answered," she added with a shrug.

)GIVE USAGI LOCKPICKING TOOLS
Usagi's eyes widen for a moment before taking on a more scheming cast. "All right," she said, whipping out a handkerchief and tying it over her head like the time she did when sneaking around Rei's shrine that one time. "Give me a minute."

Within moments, the door lock clicks open. "Yes!" Usagi cheers, basking in the joy of a successful breaking and entering as she enters Mamoru's apartment.

)DID... DID I JUST HELP TURN USAGI INTO A CRIMINAL STALKER?
Nice job breaking her, hero.

)ENTER MAMORU'S APARTMENT
You enter the apartment.

Mamoru's Apartment

The single bedroom apartment is rather large for a complex in downtown Tokyo. The living room and kitchen areas are really neat and clean. The door to Mamoru's bedroom is near one corner of the living room area with the kitchen area just across the room in its own corner. In the corner opposite of the kitchen area is a door leading to the bathroom. In the remaining corner is the door leading out of the apartment. There is a TV against the wall in front of you with a small couch sitting a reasonable distance away.

The door to Mamoru's Bedroom is open and you can hear the sounds of rummaging and, oddly enough, squeeing.

)NOT. GOING. IN. THERE.
A wise choice.

)LOOT THE PLACE
You look around for anything interesting. However, all you can find that's not too heavy to take with you is a pack of four AAA batteries and a pencil.

)TAKE ALL
Batteries: Taken.
Pencil: Taken
Olive Green Blazer: Taken.

)WAIT. WHAT?
Just kidding.

)INVENTORY

You are carrying:
Bell Collar (worn)
Ability to Speak
Pointlessly Annoying Cuteness
Immunity to Diabetes
Inability to Commit Suicide
Invisible Bag of Holding
Notepad
Pack of Gum
Bowl of Fruit
Pack of 4 AAA batteries
Pencil
Your Invisible Bag of Holding contains:
Time Key
Universal Remote Control
A Small Bag of Cheetos
A Can of Pepsi
Towel
Laser Pointer
Jimmy Hoffa

)LEAVE MAMORU'S APARTMENT
You leave Usagi to her illegal activities and exit the apartment.

Outside Mamoru's Apartment

You are standing outside of Mamoru's apartment. The hallway stretches a good distance to the east and west, each direction leading to an elevator, stairs, and another hallway.

)WEST
You head west.

Mamoru's Apartment Floor

You are standing in the hallway on the floor of Mamoru's apartment. The hallway stretches a good distance to the east and west, each direction leading to an elevator, stairs, and another hallway.

)PRESS DOWN BUTTON
You leap up and tag the button. The elevator doors open with a soft mechanical whir.

)ENTER ELEVATOR
You enter the elevator.

There are several buttons here.

)PRESS CLOSE DOORS BUTTON
The elevator doors close.

)PRESS BUTTON FOR GROUND FLOOR
The elevator whirs to life as it slowly descends to the ground floor. The door opens with a pleasant sounding ding.

)EXIT ELEVATOR
You exit the elevator.

Apartment Complex Lobby

You are in the lobby of Mamoru's apartment complex. It's not very fancy, but it is quite pleasant. There are a few potted plants here and there. A hallway leads to the front office where the manager works at. A revolving doorway leads outside. Over to your right is a door leading to the stairway and a pair of elevator doors.

)GO OUTSIDE
You walk through the revolving doorway and exit out the other side.

Outside Mamoru's Apartment Complex

You are standing outside of Mamoru's apartment complex. The street you are standing on runs east and west. To the east is more of Downtown Tokyo. To the west is a shopping center.

)GO TO AMI'S CONDO
You go to Ami's Condo.

Outside Ami's Condo

You are standing outside the condos where Ami and her mother live. The white building is pretty tall and has a lot of balconies and windows and whatnot. It looks kinda like Mamoru's apartment complex, only nicer and more expensive-looking.

)GO INSIDE
You enter the condo.

Condo Lobby

You are in the lobby of Ami's condo. It's not as fancy inside as you might have guessed, but it is very nice. The walls are painted a soft, light blue, and the dark blue carpeting is very lush. There is a security desk in front of you, which is manned by a uniformed young woman, likely a security guard. Over to your right is a door leading to the stairway and a pair of elevator doors.

)MEOW AT SECURITY GUARD
You meow at the security guard. She looks at you and grins in excitement. "Oh, how CUTE!" she squees as she gets out of her chair, rushes over to you, and picks you up. "Aren't you just the cutest thing!" She nuzzles her left cheek against your face.

)SAVE GAME
Game saved.

)ACT OUT LOOKING FOR CHIBIUSA
As soon as the guard stops nuzzling you, you try to act out your need to search for Chibiusa. Halfway through the part where you're acting out your need for the guard to tell you what floor Ami lives on, the guard lets out an explosive squeal as her brain breaks from cuteness overload.

"THAT'S IT!" she declares as she runs out the door while carrying you under one arm, not unlike the way a wide receiver would carry a football. "I'M TAKING YOU HOME WITH ME!"

)SCREAM IN HORROR
I feel your pain.

)RESTORE
Game restored.

)DESCRIBE THE ACT OF LOOKING FOR CHIBIUSA USING INTERPRETIVE DANCE
Now you're just being stupid.

)DRAW A PICTURE OF ME LOOKING FOR CHIBIUSA
You take out your pencil and draw a quick series of 4-koma of you searching for Chibiusa.

The guard seems impressed at your drawing skill. "Are you a mangaka, nyanko-chan?" she asks, looking from the notepad to you. Before you can answer, her gaze rests on the picture of you coming to see Ami. "Oh, I know this girl! That's Mizuno Ami-chan, fifth floor, suite 505."

)ENTER ELEVATOR
You can't go anywhere while you're being held.

)HOP DOWN TO FLOOR
You jump out of the guard's arms and land on the floor.

)ENTER ELEVATOR
You run smack into the elevator doors. Ow.

)SIGH
You sigh.

The security guard winces in sympathy. "You poor thing. Here, let me help." She presses the up button for you. The elevator doors open with a soft mechanical whir.

)ENTER ELEVATOR
You enter the elevator.

There are several buttons here.

The guard leans in and presses the fifth floor button for you. "There you go. Oh! And be sure to visit me again on the way back!" she adds and presses the Close Doors button. The elevator whirs to life as it slowly ascends to the fifth floor. The door opens with a pleasant sounding ding.

)EXIT ELEVATOR
You exit the elevator.

Ami's Condo - Fifth Floor Elevator

You are standing in the hallway on the fifth floor of Ami's condo. The hallway stretches a good distance to the east and west, each direction leading to either stairs or another hallway. On the wall opposite you, you can see a sign that reads the following:

{- 500 - 509

510 - 519 -}

)WEST
You head west.

Ami's Condo - Fifth Floor Hallway

You are standing in the hallway on the fifth floor of Ami's condo. The hallway stretches a good distance to the east and west, each direction leading to either stairs or another hallway. To your left, you see a door numbered 500. To your right, you see a door numbered 501.

)WEST
You head west.

Ami's Condo - Fifth Floor Hallway

You are standing in the hallway on the fifth floor of Ami's condo. The hallway stretches a good distance to the east and west, each direction leading to either stairs or another hallway. To your left, you see a door numbered 502. To your right, you see a door numbered 503.

)WEST
You head west.

Ami's Condo - Fifth Floor Hallway

You are standing in the hallway on the fifth floor of Ami's condo. The hallway stretches a good distance to the east and west, each direction leading to either stairs or another hallway. To your left, you see a door numbered 504. To your right, you see a door numbered 505.

)KNOCK ON DOOR 505
You knock on the door. "Just a minute!" you hear Ami's voice call out on the other side. "Yes?" she asks as the door opens, then frowns as she looks around. "Oh!" she then says as she looks down, noticing you at last. "Hello, Diana. Please come in. What brings you here?"

)ENTER AMI'S CONDO
You enter the condo. Ami closes the door behind you.

Ami's Condo

You are standing inside the condo where Ami and her mother live. It is very expensive-looking and spacious with a lot of nice furnishings. To your right is a closed glass door leading to the balcony. Further back lies a large kitchen. Ahead of you is a hallway leading further back into the condo.

)SAY "HAVE YOU SEEN SMALL LADY TODAY, AMI-CHAN? I'M LOOKING FOR HER."
Ami considers your question for a moment before shaking her head. "I'm sorry, but I haven't seen her at all today."

)SAY "DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO A SEARCH FOR HER USING YOUR MINI-COMPUTER?"
Ami shakes her head. "My mini-computer isn't working right now."

)SAY "IT'S NOT? WHY?"
"I spent most of last night trying to fix it after the operating system crashed," she sighed. "Again. And this was AFTER I had to download and install a critical update patch that was SUPPOSED to keep this from happening!" Another sigh, this time of annoyance. "And to top it all off, just as I managed to get things stable again, the batteries had to run out of power! And now I can't find the power cable to charge it!"

)...THAT THING TAKES BATTERIES?
Of course it does. What did you think it ran on? Magic?

)WELL, YEAH. I MEAN, EVERYTHING ELSE THEY USE RUNS ON MAGIC.
Well, you know what they say, "Assumption makes an ass out of you and umption."

)...A COMPUTER GAME DID *NOT* JUST QUOTE A MOVIE AT ME.
Great advances in text-based adventure games. Remember?

)...LET'S MOVE ON.
Suit yourself.

)SAY "CAN'T YOU JUST REPLACE THE BATTERIES?"
"Mom used the last couple of batteries for her-" Ami cut off quickly, shaking her head again. "Never mind. Anyway, since we're out of AAA batteries, I can't power up my mini-computer."

)GIVE AMI PACK OF BATTERIES
Ami's eyes brighten. "This is just what I need! Thanks, Diana!" She hurries off to her room to get her mini-computer and hurries back, her expression all smiles.

"Thanks once again, Diana," she says as she types away at her mini- computer. "Now I can replace the OS. Apparently, this thing doesn't like Windows, so I'll just use Linux instead."

)SAY "DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO A SEARCH FOR SMALL LADY USING YOUR MINI-COMPUTER NOW?"
Ami considers your request. "Well, normally, my mini-computer is calibrated to detect negative energy, in case we're attacked by an enemy. I'd have to recalibrate it to search for Crystal Tokyo-aligned energy. That would take a while."

)SAY "HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE?"
"Three days."

)SAY "I THINK I'LL JUST KEEP LOOKING, THEN."
Ami nods understandingly. "Well, good luck in finding Chibiusa-chan. I've got to get back to working on this," she adds, tapping her mini- computer.

)ASK AMI TO OPEN DOOR
Which door?

)ASK AMI TO OPEN FRONT DOOR
Ami walks over to the front door and opens it for you.

)EXIT ROOM
"Bye, Diana," Ami says as you leave and closes the door behind you.

Ami's Condo - Fifth Floor Hallway

You are standing in the hallway on the fifth floor of Ami's condo. The hallway stretches a good distance to the east and west, each direction leading to either stairs or another hallway. To your left, you see a door numbered 504. To your right, you see a door numbered 505.

)EAST
You head east.

Ami's Condo - Fifth Floor Hallway

You are standing in the hallway on the fifth floor of Ami's condo. The hallway stretches a good distance to the east and west, each direction leading to either stairs or another hallway. To your left, you see a door numbered 502. To your right, you see a door numbered 503.

)EAST
You head east.

Ami's Condo - Fifth Floor Hallway

You are standing in the hallway on the fifth floor of Ami's condo. The hallway stretches a good distance to the east and west, each direction leading to either stairs or another hallway. To your left, you see a door numbered 500. To your right, you see a door numbered 501.

)EAST
You head east.

Ami's Condo - Fifth Floor Elevator

You are standing in the hallway on the fifth floor of Ami's condo. The hallway stretches a good distance to the east and west, each direction leading to either stairs or another hallway. On the wall opposite you, you can see a sign that reads the following:

{- 500 - 509

510 - 519 -}

)PRESS BUTTON
You leap up and tag the button. The elevator doors open with a soft mechanical whir.

)ENTER ELEVATOR
You enter the elevator.

There are several buttons here.

)PRESS CLOSE DOORS BUTTON
The elevator doors close.

)PRESS BUTTON FOR GROUND FLOOR
The elevator whirs to life as it slowly descends to the ground floor. The door opens with a pleasant sounding ding.

)EXIT ELEVATOR
You exit the elevator.

Condo Lobby

You are in the lobby of Ami's condo. It's not as fancy inside as you might have guessed, but it is very nice. The walls are painted a soft, light blue, and the dark blue carpeting is very lush. There is a security desk in front of you, which is manned by a uniformed young woman, likely a security guard. Over to your right is a door leading to the stairway and a pair of elevator doors.

)DID THE SCARY SECURITY GUARD LADY SEE ME GET OUT OF THE ELEVATOR?
No, it looks like she's busy right now.

)SNEAK OUTSIDE WITHOUT LETTING THE SCARY SECURITY GUARD LADY NOTICE ME
You carefully pad over to the entrance, being extra careful not to make a sound. Fortunately, you reach the entrance without being seen or heard. Quickly, you slip out of the building and dash out of the scary security guard lady's field of view.

Outside Ami's Condo

You are standing outside the condos where Ami and her mother live. The white building is pretty tall and has a lot of balconies and windows and whatnot. It looks kinda like Mamoru's apartment complex, only nicer and more expensive-looking.

)...OKAY, NOW WHAT?
You're asking me? Aren't you the one who's supposed to be playing this game?

)HMM... INVENTORY

You are carrying:
Bell Collar (worn)
Ability to Speak
Pointlessly Annoying Cuteness
Immunity to Diabetes
Inability to Commit Suicide
Invisible Bag of Holding
Notepad
Pack of Gum
Bowl of Fruit
Pencil
Your Invisible Bag of Holding contains:
Time Key
Universal Remote Control
A Small Bag of Cheetos
A Can of Pepsi
Towel
Laser Pointer
Jimmy Hoffa

)USE TIME KEY
You raise the Time Key over your head. Nothing happens.

)WHAT? WHY?
Maybe you should consult the user's manual.

)CONSULT USER'S MANUAL
You don't have a user's manual.

)USE THE FORCE TO ACTIVATE THE TIME KEY
You are still not a Jedi.

)GO TO SETSUNA'S HOUSE
You walk for a very long time, but you eventually reach the house Haruka, Michiru, Hotaru, and Setsuna all live in.

)KNOCK ON THE DOOR
You knock on the door. After a short wait, Michiru answers the door. "Oh, Diana! What brings you here?"

)ASK IF SETSUNA IS HOME
"Setsuna? No, she went out shopping, since we're out of tea at the moment. She left a while ago, so she should be coming back soon. If you want, you can wait for her inside."

)THANK MICHIRU AND GO INSIDE
You thank Michiru and enter the house.

Outer Senshi Residence - Entrance

You are in the Entrance of the Outer Senshi Residence. Behind you is the door leading outside, while off to the far side is the doorway leading to the kitchen. There are also stairways on both sides of the chambers leading to the second floor, where the bedrooms are. Up ahead is the door leading to the living room. There are also several pairs of shoes near the entrance; however, being a kitten, this has no significance to you whatsoever.

Michiru is here.

)GO UPSTAIRS
By which staircase?

)DOES IT MATTER?
Not really, but I'm asking anyway.

)WHICHEVER.
Not exactly the answer I was looking for, Mr. Decisive. Look, you want to go up the stairs or not?

)FINE. THE RIGHT ONE.
This sentence no verb.

)OH, SHUT UP. GO UP THE RIGHT STAIRCASE.
You go upstairs. As you start climbing the stairs, you hear someone call out from the direction of the living room, "Michiru, have you seen the remote?"

Michiru sighs and shakes her head wearily. "That's the seventh time you've lost the remote, Haruka," she shouts back over her shoulder. "Have you checked the cushions? Under the couch? Where was the last place you remember seeing it?"

Outer Senshi Residence - Second Floor

You are in the second floor hallway of the Outer Senshi Residence. You can see doors leading to Setsuna's room, Hotaru's room, a few other rooms, a couple of bathrooms, and the Master Bedroom, which Haruka and Michiru occupy. Behind you and to the left are stairs leading back to the entrance.

)ENTER MASTER BEDROOM
You enter the bedroom.

Master Bedroom - Haruka and Michiru's Room

You are in the Master Bedroom of the Outer Senshi Residence. The room is somewhat neat, which you suspect to be due to Michiru, although there are a few items lying around here and there. Racing magazines, jogging shorts and boxers, a pair of sunglasses lying on the neatly made bed... More than likely that is Haruka's doing. Other than the usual bedroom fixtures, there isn't really anything that catches your attention other than the fact that the closet isn't closed properly.

)OPEN CLOSET
You work your little kitty paws underneath the door and start tugging it open. It takes a little bit of work, but you finally open it enough for you to walk in.

)LOOK IN CLOSET
It's too dark in there to see anything.

)TURN ON LIGHT
What light?

)LOOK CLOSET
The closet door is only open just enough for you to get in.

)OPEN CLOSET DOOR ALL THE WAY
You push with all your kitty might, opening the closet door enough for daylight to stream inside.

)LOOK IN CLOSET
There are several articles of clothing in there, as well as several pairs of shoes. There is also a red box tucked away in a corner that doesn't look like a shoe box. It looks like someone tried to hide it, but didn't do a very good job of it.

)OPEN BOX
Which box?

)OPEN RED BOX
You open the lid of the red box and look inside.

...

You close the lid of the red box and try to forget that you ever looked inside of it.

)WHAT? WHY?
I refuse to go into detail as this is a family game. More or less. All I'll say is that Haruka and Michiru have really inventive imaginations and that I hope this room is soundproof.

)...
...

)...UM, CLOSE CLOSET DOOR.
You close the closet door.

)EXIT MASTER BEDROOM
You leave the Master Bedroom.

)ENTER HOTARU'S ROOM
The door is closed.

)OPEN HOTARU'S ROOM DOOR
It won't open. The door seems to be locked.

)KNOCK ON HOTARU'S ROOM DOOR
There is no answer.

"Diana!" you hear Michiru's voice from downstairs. "Setsuna just came back!"

)GO DOWN RIGHT STAIRS
You descend to the first floor.

Outer Senshi Residence - Entrance

You are in the Entrance of the Outer Senshi Residence. Behind you is the door leading outside, while off to the far side is the doorway leading to the kitchen. There are also stairways on both sides of the chambers leading to the second floor, where the bedrooms are. Up ahead is the door leading to the living room. There are also several pairs of shoes near the entrance; however, being a kitten, this has no significance to you whatsoever.

Michiru is here.

"Setsuna just went to the kitchen to put her tea away," she explains. "Would you mind waiting in the living room for her?"

)GO TO LIVING ROOM
You head for the living room.

Outer Senshi Residence - Living Room

You are in the Living Room of the Outer Senshi Residence. There are a couple of couches and comfy chairs sitting in the room surrounding a wide coffee table. There is also a wide-screen TV, an entertainment center with a couple video game consoles, VCR, and a stereo system, while on the other side of the room sits a grand piano and a couple bookshelves. Haruka is sitting in one of the comfy chairs, looking incredibly annoyed.

Haruka is here.
Michiru enters the room.

)LOOK TV
It looks like a soap opera is playing right now.

Haruka turns to look at you and Michiru. "I've looked everywhere and I can't find that damn thing!" she gripes irritably. "I bet someone stole it."

Michiru snorts lightly. "All of these valuable things and all this imaginary thief takes is one remote control?"

)OFFER HARUKA MY UNIVERSAL REMOTE
Haruka's eyes light up at the sight of the remote. "Here! Give it here!" she shouts and almost lunges for it. "Oh, blessed remote! Save me from this mind-numbing crap!" she intones as she changes the channel. "ESPN, take me away...," she sighs happily as she settles back into her comfy chair.

)LOOK TV
It looks like a baseball game is playing right now. You don't recognize either team, partly because you don't really follow sports, but mostly because they are American teams.

)THEY GET AMERICAN CABLE CHANNELS IN JAPAN? HOW RICH *ARE* THEY?
Rich enough to afford to watch American cable channels in Japan, apparently.

)WAIT FOR SETSUNA
You sit down and wait for Setsuna to finish putting her tea away. A short time later, she arrives from the kitchen, a freshly brewed cup of tea in hand.

"Ah, bliss," she murmurs to herself after a sip, then turns her gaze to you. "Now, you wanted to see me about something?"

)ASK SETSUNA ABOUT TIME KEY
You are about to ask about how to operate the Time Key, when Haruka suddenly jumps to her feet and starts yelling at the TV. Something about how someone or another sucks and can't catch a fly ball worth a... well, there's a lot of cursing involved.

)NOD TOWARD THE KITCHEN
You nod toward the kitchen, suggesting that your conversation continue elsewhere. Setsuna agrees and heads back toward the kitchen.

)GO TO KITCHEN
You head toward the kitchen as Michiru thwacks Haruka upside the head for cursing and being rude around guests.

Outer Senshi Residence - Kitchen

You are in the Kitchen of the Outer Senshi Residence. It is immaculately clean with several cupboards and shelves full of assorted foods, spices, and cookware. A large refrigerator sits in one corner, humming softly as it keeps its contents cool or frozen, in the case of the freezer compartment on top. A large combination oven and gas stove sits next to a counter with a two-part kitchen sink with a built-in garbage disposal in the right sink. A hanging plant or two bring some additional color to the mostly light blue room. On the counter, you notice a tea pot with its strainer left in, likely full of tea leaves.

Setsuna is here.

)ASK SETSUNA ABOUT TIME KEY
"Yes, I know about the Time Key," she says, nodding. "What do you want to know?"

)ASK SETSUNA ABOUT HOW TO USE TIME KEY
Setsuna blinks. "THAT?" she asked, surprised. "You mean, you haven't read the user's manual?"

)SAY, "BUT, SETSUNA-SAN, I DON'T HAVE A USER'S MANUAL."
She gives you another surprised look, then sighs. "Don't tell me you *lost* it." She sighs again and rolls her eyes as she reaches up and pulls a book off a nearby shelf.

"Here," she says as she hands you the book. "It's fortunate that I have another copy on hand. Now, make sure you read it thoroughly. Don't blame me if you use it wrong and wind up dead."

)SAY, "DEAD?"
Setsuna nods. "Yes, dead. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be heading back to my room. I was in the middle of watching a MacGuyver marathon before I ran out of tea, and now that I have tea again, I'd like to get back to it. You're more than welcome to watch with me if you want."

Setsuna leaves the room.

)TRY TO REMEMBER GOAL
You try to remember your goal, but you still can't remember it.

)WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?
Because the outcome was obvious from the beginning.

)NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE IT, HUH?
Nope.

)SIGH AGAIN
You sigh again.

)INVENTORY

You are carrying:
Bell Collar (worn)
Ability to Speak
Pointlessly Annoying Cuteness
Immunity to Diabetes
Inability to Commit Suicide
Invisible Bag of Holding
Notepad
Pack of Gum
Bowl of Fruit
Pencil
Time Key User's Manual
Your Invisible Bag of Holding contains:
Time Key
A Small Bag of Cheetos
A Can of Pepsi
Towel
Laser Pointer
Jimmy Hoffa

)READ USER'S MANUAL
You read the Time Key User's Manual. You discover that the reason you couldn't activate the key before is because you didn't enter your user name and password.

)...MY WHAT?
User name and password. According to the manual, your Time Key had recently received a new security upgrade in response to repeated misuse. One event in particular is mentioned, involving something called a Gray's Sports Almanac or whatever. At any rate, a new access system was implemented requiring the input of a user name and password.

)BUT, I DON'T KNOW MY USER NAME AND PASSWORD!
A second look at the User's Guide reveals that you can also request a new user name and password.

)REQUEST NEW USER NAME AND PASSWORD
A small golf ball-shaped sphere of light emerges from the Time Key. "Speak your new user name," a light, non-descript voice prompts from the sphere.

)SAY "DIANA."
The sphere flickers for a moment. "Processing. User name already in use. Analyzing voice patterns. Match found. Would you like to change your password?"

)SAY "YES."
The sphere flickers for a moment. "Processing. Request received. Please enter a new password. Password must be between 14 and 1024 characters. Password must contain at least 3 uppercase letters, 4 lowercase letters, 5 numbers, and 6 non-alphanumeric characters. Passwords must not contain any portion of your name or any words in any spoken language, forward or backward. Passwords may not have 2 uppercase or lowercase letters or numbers next to each other. Letters cannot be in alphabetical order and numbers cannot be in either ascending or descending order. Passwords may not contain the names of family, friends, family friends, friends' families, perfect strangers, imperfect strangers, pets, owners, professional sports teams, unprofessional sports teams, actors, actresses, musicians, teachers, janitors, liquor store owners, convicted criminals, or your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate."

)...
Password requirements seem to get more and more complex nowadays, don't they?

)SAY "CAN I JUST MEOW?"
The sphere flickers for a moment. "Processing."

A few moments pass before the sphere flickers again. "Acceptable."

)MEOW.
You meow.

The sphere flickers for a moment. "Processing. Password set. Logging in. Hello, Diana." The sphere fades from sight.

)USE TIME KEY
You raise the Time Key over your head. Reality seems to warp around you as everything fades to black. Looks like the Time Key itself got an upgrade, too.

Near Gates of Time

You are near the Gates of Time. It's really, really dark here. I mean, you can't even see what's in front of your face. Or, behind you. Or, to your sides. Or, up or down or... well, you get the point.

After a few moments of trying to get your bearings, your eyes slowly begin to focus on a set of double doors in the distance. The doors are very familiar, considering that they are the very ones you used to come to the past- er, the present. Standing next to the doors, keystaff in hand, is the guardian of the Gates of Time, Sailor Pluto. You also know her as Setsuna Meiou, although this is a different version of the Setsuna you had just spoken with a few moments ago. Or, it might not be. Time travel is weird that way.

)GO TO GATES OF TIME
You approach the Gates of Time.

The Gates of Time

You are in front of the Gates of Time. The doors are decorated with moons, each one showing a different phase, from full to waxing to half to waning to new. Other than that, the Gates lack any other decoration. Sailor Pluto stands in front of the Gates, keystaff in hand. A short distance to the side, and partially shrouded by the darkness, you can just make out the pale, ghostly glow of a television set illuminating what looks like a fold-out couch. Well, now we know how she managed to stand this watch for centuries without going insane from boredom.

Sailor Pluto is here.

"Well, hello, Diana," the Senshi of Time says with a nod. "What brings you here?"

)SAY "I'M LOOKING FOR SMALL LADY. HAVE YOU SEEN HER?"
Sailor Pluto shakes her head. "She hasn't come through here at all. Sorry."

)LOOK AT TV
The TV is on. There are open DVD cases sitting around the TV.

)WATCH TV
MacGuyver is on, or rather, the episode selection screen is on. The cursor is on an episode you haven't seen yet.

Sailor Pluto sees you looking at the TV. "Oh, I was just watching some episodes of MacGuyver. It's a really good show." She reaches for the remote and presses play. "In this episode, MacGuyver makes a lightsaber out of a laser pointer, a soda can tab, a wrapper from a bag of chips, and an 1/8th carat cubic zirconia ring. It's awesome."

She moves past you and plops down on the couch, setting the keystaff down on the floor. "Say, you wouldn't happen to have anything to eat or drink on you, would you? I can't leave the place unguarded and my future self is supposed to relieve me so I can go grab something to eat. However, she's running late for some reason, so I'm stuck."

)OFFER SAILOR PLUTO BOWL OF FRUIT
"Thanks a lot, Diana!" she says as she takes the bowl of fruit from you and takes a bite into an apple.

)OFFER SAILOR PLUTO BAG OF CHEETOS
"Thanks!" she says as she takes the bag, opens it, and eats the contents.

)OFFER SAILOR PLUTO A CAN OF PEPSI
"Pepsi!" Sailor Pluto exclaims as she takes the can. "My favorite!" She takes a long gulp of the soda and smiles happily before finishing the soda.

She then gives you a thoughtful look. "Can you do me a favor? Can you go to the future and see what's happened to my future self? Hopefully, she's not just glued to the TV or something. Oh, and can you toss these for me?" she asks, tossing you the empty soda can and Cheetos bag. "There aren't really any trashcans around here, you know? I'll leave the Gates open for you."

)SAVE GAME
Game saved.

)INVENTORY

You are carrying:
Bell Collar (worn)
Ability to Speak
Pointlessly Annoying Cuteness
Immunity to Diabetes
Inability to Commit Suicide
Invisible Bag of Holding
Notepad
Pack of Gum
Bowl of Fruit
Pencil
Empty Bag of Cheetos
Empty Can of Pepsi
Time Key User's Manual
Your Invisible Bag of Holding contains:
Time Key
Towel
Laser Pointer
Jimmy Hoffa

)HMM. PULL TAB OFF OF PEPSI CAN
Done.

)FIND 1/8TH CARAT CUBIC ZIRCONIA RING
You don't see one here.

)ASK SAILOR PLUTO FOR A 1/8TH CARAT CUBIC ZIRCONIA RING
Sailor Pluto shakes her head. "I don't have one. Sorry."

)ASK JIMMY HOFFA FOR A 1/8TH CARAT CUBIC ZIRCONIA RING
Jimmy Hoffa frowns. "What's in it for me?"

)OFFER JIMMY HOFFA PACK OF GUM
He eyes the gum for a moment, considering. He then furtively glances around before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a ring. "Here," he says, handing the ring to you. "You didn't get this from me. Got it?" He grabs the pack of gum from your inventory and once again disappears within the folds of your Invisible Bag of Holding while humming the Juicy Fruit jingle.

)MAKE LIGHTSABER FROM TAB, RING, EMPTY BAG AND LASER POINTER
...

)WELL?
...done.

Let me take this moment to remind you that, not only are you STILL not a Jedi, there was absolutely no point in doing this whatsoever.

)SO WHAT? I'VE GOT A LIGHTSABER NOW.
Whatever floats your boat, kid.

)USE GATES OF TIME
You approach the Gates of Time. A voice echoes in your mind:

When would you like to go?
1. The End of Time in the Far Far Future
2. Crystal Tokyo in the Far Future
3. Tokyo-3 in the Near Future
4. Tokyo in the Far Present
5. Tokyo in the Near Present
6. Tokyo in the Near Past
7. Edo in the Far Past
8. Pangaea in the Far Far Past
9. Return to the Gates of Time

)THE END OF TIME? SOUNDS COOL!
You sure about this?

)YEAH! CHOOSE OPTION ONE
You travel to the End of Time in the Far Far Future. Unfortunately, nothing exists at the end of time, including you. That's just the way things work. Sorry.

***You have died.***

[RESTART/RESTORE/QUIT?]

)WAIT, WHAT? HOW LAME.
Maybe. Still, it had to be done. I'm way behind on my Player Death Quota and I needed an excuse to kill you.

)...YOU HAVE A QUOTA?
...please pretend you didn't hear that.

)...RESTORE
Game restored.

)USE GATES OF TIME
You approach the Gates of Time. A voice echoes in your mind:

When would you like to go?
1. The End of Time in the Far Far Future
2. Crystal Tokyo in the Far Future
3. Tokyo-3 in the Near Future
4. Tokyo in the Far Present
5. Tokyo in the Near Present
6. Tokyo in the Near Past
7. Edo in the Far Past
8. Pangaea in the Far Far Past
9. Return to the Gates of Time

)CHOOSE OPTION TWO
You travel to Crystal Tokyo in the Far Future.

Gates of Time (Far Future)

You are in front of the Gates of Time in the Far Future. The doors are decorated with moons, each one showing a different phase, from full to waxing to half to waning to new. Other than that, the Gates lack any other decoration. Sailor Pluto stands in front of the Gates, keystaff in hand. A short distance to the side, and partially shrouded by the darkness, you can just make out the pale, ghostly glow of a television set illuminating what looks like a fold-out couch.

Sailor Pluto is here.

"Well, hello, Diana," the Senshi of Time says with a nod. "What brings you here?"

)SAY "YOUR PAST SELF IS WAITING FOR YOU TO RELIEVE HER SO SHE CAN GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT."
Sailor Pluto nods. "Yes, I know. However, I can't leave the Gates of Time unguarded here in the present just to relieve the me of the past." She grimaces for a moment. "I really should've thought this out better."

)OFFER TO WATCH THE GATES OF TIME FOR HER
Sailor Pluto brightens. "Thank you, Diana. That would be a big help." With that, she steps through the Gates of Time and disappears.

Sailor Pluto departs.

)LOOK AT TV
The TV is on. There are open DVD cases sitting around the TV.

)WATCH TV
It looks like Sailor Pluto was watching Back to the Future. How apropos.

Sailor Pluto arrives from the Gates of Time.

)SAY "BACK ALREADY?"
Sailor Pluto smiles enigmatically. "Time travel is funny that way. At any rate, thanks for your help."

)TRY TO REMEMBER GOAL
You still can't remember your goal. Maybe you should just give up and di- er, start over.

)USE GATES OF TIME
You approach the Gates of Time. A voice echoes in your mind:

When would you like to go?
1. The End of Time in the Far Far Future
2. Crystal Tokyo in the Far Future
3. Tokyo-3 in the Near Future
4. Tokyo in the Far Present
5. Tokyo in the Near Present
6. Tokyo in the Near Past
7. Edo in the Far Past
8. Pangaea in the Far Far Past
9. Return to the Gates of Time

)CHOOSE OPTION FIVE
You travel to Tokyo in the Near Present.

The Gates of Time

You are in front of the Gates of Time. The doors are decorated with moons, each one showing a different phase, from full to waxing to half to waning to new. Other than that, the Gates lack any other decoration. Sailor Pluto stands in front of the Gates, keystaff in hand. A short distance to the side, and partially shrouded by the darkness, you can just make out the pale, ghostly glow of a television set illuminating what looks like a fold-out couch.

Sailor Pluto is here.

)GO TO TSUKINO RESIDENCE
You can't go there from here without using the Time Key.

)USE TIME KEY
Nothing happens.

)WHY NOT?
Your login session has expired.

)HEADDESK
There is no desk here.

)SAY "DIANA," THEN MEOW
Done.

)USE TIME KEY
You raise the Time Key over your head. Reality seems to warp around you as everything fades to black.

Tsukino Residence - Living Room

You are in the Living Room of the Tsukino Residence. There is a TV here as well as a couch and a comfy chair. Ahead of you is the door leading outside, while off to the side and behind you is the doorway leading to the kitchen. There are several pairs of shoes near the entrance; however, being a kitten, this has no significance to you whatsoever.

Usagi is here.
Chibiusa is here.
"Oh, hi, Diana!" Chibiusa waves as your feet touch the floor. "Welcome back!"

)WAIT. WHAT? WHERE THE HELL WAS SHE?
Maybe you should ask her.

)ASK CHIBIUSA WHERE THE HELL SHE WAS
Chibiusa blinks and frowns. "I was staying at a friend's house. I already got permission from Ikuko-mama, but since Usagi wasn't around at the time, I asked you to let Usagi know before I left so she wouldn't be worried. Remember now?"

You suddenly remember your goal.

)...
What?

)...I KNOW I'M GOING TO REGRET THIS, BUT WHAT IS MY GOAL?
Your goal is to let Usagi know that Chibiusa had spent the night at a friend's house.

)...YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
Afraid I am. And the being cute part. That's there, too.

)USE LIGHTSABER TO KILL PARSER
You activate your lightsaber, only to have it blow up in your face due to shoddy construction. You're not a Jedi, after all.

***You have died.***

[RESTART/RESTORE/QUIT?]

)QUIT

Asleep
You are asleep.

)NO! I SAID QUIT! QUIT, DAMMIT!
I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

)...CRY
You cry like a little girl.

)WAKE UP
You open your eyes.

Chibiusa's Room

You are in Chibiusa's room in the Tsukino household. The room, which used to be the attic, is decorated in cute pink colors, but not overpoweringly so, thank goodness. You are lying on Chibiusa's bed, which is neatly made. There is a dresser and a mirror across from the bed and a nightstand sitting next to it. On one end of the room is a large wooden wardrobe. At the other end of the room, you can see a stairway leading down to the second floor.

)JUMP OFF BED
You hop down off of the bed.

)DESCEND STAIRS
You climb down the stairs.

Tsukino Residence - Second Floor

You are in the second floor hallway of the Tsukino Residence. You can see doors leading to Usagi's room, Shingo's room, the Master Bedroom, and the bathroom. At the end of the hallway is a stairway leading to the living room. Behind you are stairs leading up to Chibiusa's room.

Usagi arrives from her bedroom.

Usagi looks at you and smiles. "Good morning, Diana. Have you come down for breakfast?"

)NOD AND SAY "YES, USAGI-SAMA!"
Usagi glances behind you and up toward Chibiusa's Room. "Is Chibiusa still up in her room?"

)SAY "NO, USAGI-SAMA, SMALL LADY HAS SPENT THE NIGHT AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE."
"Oh, is that so?" Usagi says. "Well, then I'll see you downstairs at breakfast."

Usagi descends down the stairs.

***You win!***

Total score: 183 points out of 210.

Game Over.

[RESTART/RESTORE/QUIT?]

)THAT WAS IT?
That was it.

)YOU MEAN, ALL THAT OTHER CRAP I DID WAS POINTLESS?
Yup. Just about.

)...
...

)...I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH.
You know, I live for moments like this. ^_^

)QUIT

Disclaimer: All original materials belong to their respective owners. Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi and a bunch of big companies. No copyright infringement is intended.

Questions? Comments? Anything?
Email: jasonulloa (at) hotmail (dot) com
http: (slash slash) eschronicles (dot) webs (dot) com

Copyright© 2010 YUROANET, Jason C. Ulloa
All Rights Reserved.

C:\KTYQUEST)_