Title: He's a Puzzle
Summary: And she wanted him to stay that way. MariaxShin
A/N: I've only read up to chapter 47. So... I still don't know the end of the story, :P Warning: un-Beta'ed
Disclaimer: Mother once said that I don't own anything until I've moved out of the house. And right now, I'm busy trying to keep the keyboard from clicking too loud while I type in case she might hear me.
His nimble fingers stopped in their dance upon the piano keys. Anticipation and dread crawled up on her being, starting from her toes, ending at her fingers.
She still didn't know if it was the right time and place for such a confrontation. But, she had decided. Time had run out for her, for this.
She opened her mouth.
'I just want to say that I – '
'No, stop. I don't want to hear anything from you.'
It's ridiculous how his harsh tone - only his harsh tone - could make me feel so utterly insignificant.
He turned his score sheet to the next page. He doesn't need to, he had already memorised them. He just doesn't want to look at me right now.
Why does it feel this way? This is not me...
'Megu – '
'You pushed me away. You made me go to her, so you don't have the right to come to me now...'
'Why are you doing this to yourself?' I asked, raising my voice a little.
He slammed his hands on the piano keys creating a horrible mess of notes - mixing with each other, nonsensical and too loud for my ears.
'How about you, Kawai?' His voice was surprisingly calm - hard, lined with ice. 'Why are you doing this to yourself?'
My heart never felt so heavy then. I can't breathe; my eyes stung and I knew I was crying what with the scent of salt in my nose. I'm feeling claustrophobic and wanted to get away...
'It's because I love you, Meguro. I have ever since you've bought me those ridiculous shoes.'
His sharp breath was so loud it could've been a knife slicing between us.
Is he wavering? Knowing him, it would be futile to hope, for unlike others I don't know what he's thinking at all. He's a big puzzle and I want to keep it that way.
But, I still hope...
He turned to me and our eyes met.
I still don't know how or why, but with just his look, no matter how brief, he makes me lose my breath - no, hold my breath, make me anticipate, for what I don't know. But I would give it all just to have him look at me with his deep dark eyes.
But as sudden as his breath, he looked away. And just a little more, my heart breaks.
Slowly, as if bidding his time he gathered his score sheets and put them in his bag. Or was he waiting for the sound of my heart shattering? Lifting it to his shoulder, he closed the piano lid and went towards the door behind me.
Idly, the sound of the door opening and closing reached my ears.
Of course, why would he care? He didn't even answer my question...
I feel numb, as if I was drenched in iced water. My face became hot; my sight blurred and no matter how I keep it in, the tears flowed out.
Shin could feel Yuusuke's baleful glare on his person.
'If you won't take her, I will, you know.'
Looking away, he answered, 'I'd rather you not have her.'
'How can you say that? You've left her - deserted her, Meguro.'
'You care for her, Yuusuke...'
'Yes, I do.'
'...But you've never seen her cry before, have you?'
Yuusuke stilled as Shin began walking away. His footfalls on the corridor were resounding off the walls, sluggish, empty.
'You should, sometimes... Maybe, you'll see why I wouldn't have her...'
Yuusuke looked down in shame. No lovely transformation could save him from such misery.
His back collided with the wall; the cold on his back was a welcomed comfort.
When the footsteps were gone, in the middle of darkness, Yuusuke shook.
'You're a coward...'
The door slid behind her and she hugged herself. Her legs were dead under her weight and she was cold. Dried tears on her face.
'I love you...'
She did not flinch. She hadn't expected such confession now, but her mind was still cottony from her crying to register what he said.
'I'm not worthy of you. You have your own battles and I have mine. You still have to face your own demons. I may not be able to help you, but I'm willing to stay beside you. I won't be able to give you anything, but I'll be there... I'm willing to try... and I won't leave again...'
Slowly, she began to be conscious, to listen to him speak.
The silence between them was oppressing, heavy and dark.
Sobs began to shake her body once more, this time she let her tears flow and cried like a child, sniffing every now and then.
Her voice shook when she spoke, 'W-what did you say?'
'I'm not – '
'No... Not that.'
'... I won't leave again.'
She stood up; almost stumbling over her feet. She looked ahead and fumbled for her handkerchief in her pocket. Taking a deep breath, she blew her nose in it. And faintly, she could imagine what kind of face he made with her action.
She chuckled and took a fresh breath.
She heard him let out a breath.
'Look at me, Maria.'
She did and he gave her a smile. Her heart skipped a beat, and she thought nothing is ever more...
Why did you come back? What happened to Anna?
Yuusuke, he was outside the music room, wasn't he? Where did he go?
She didn't know what happened but she was not going to ask. Having him beside her was enough and she's not going to ruin them by asking such questions.
Shin was a very private man. He and silence are comfortable companions, sometimes more so than piano and music. There are times when frustration sinks in and she wanted to strangle herself from curiosity for his thoughts. But, she loved him that way.
She loves him that way.
A/N: So... It's been a while since I've written a fanfic... :P And, I'm actually nervous because I know Maria and Shin here are somewhat OOC – okay, make that simply OOC. Anyways, I'm not really asking for comments, but they are extremely appreciated. Thank you very much for reading! m(_ _)m