Summary: One night, drinking more than he should with his brother, Sasuke learns why he will never be able to hate Itachi. Because however much he tries to grow up and stand on his own, no one knows him like Itachi does.
"Does the blonde know you're here?"
Sasuke's hands clench reflexively around the glass of alcohol he's holding.
He shouldn't be drinking; he's a minor. More to the point, Itachi shouldn't let him drink. He should know better than to let his younger brother get away with such things. But instead, it was Itachi who casually offered him the alcohol when he showed up at his door and Sasuke, of course, had to accept because he's a man now. He knows Itachi is laughing at him, laughing at his feeble attempts to challenge him, to top him. It doesn't help that Sasuke can't hold his alcohol the way Itachi can.
Itachi takes a sip from his own glass, glancing sideways at his otouto. The young man is obviously bowed beneath the weight of something he's struggling to say. Itachi marvels at the fact that after everything he did, he could not make Sasuke hate him. That despite their fights and his betrayal, when Sasuke is lost, in the middle of the night, Itachi is the one he turns to.
"I- healed faster this time."
The sentence drops loudly between them in the silence of the night.
"Is that so?"
Sasuke's other hand clenches in his lap. His aniki was really the only one who could make him so angry so fast.
"That means I am getting stronger," he tells him defiantly, "I will be stronger than you soon."
Itachi says nothing and Sasuke glares at him, willing him to get angry, willing him to care.
Don't look down on me like that, he thinks, the alcohol in his veins burning.
"Is that what you came here to say?"
Sasuke draws in a quick breath. "I- "
His glass is not yet empty, yet Itachi leans forward and pours him some more and Sasuke is too proud to say, enough. After all, Itachi has drunk more than he has and he's still perfectly sober.
So he takes a small sip.
"You should know," he says suddenly, voice too loud in the quiet night. "You should know that I will do everything in my power to be stronger than you, to defeat you."
Now Sasuke has said this a million times before so Itachi knows that is not what he really wants to tell him. What he really wants is for his aniki to ask…
"Because I hate you."
It is a swift reply and by all common sense, it should be true. But it's not because hate has more feeling attached to it.
Sasuke looks at him in surprise. His brother has never accepted it before. Then Itachi turns towards him and pins him with those hypnotic, snake-like eyes.
"But that is not what I asked."
Sasuke is sure his brother can hear his heart pounding violently in his chest.
"Then what?" he manages to say and even to himself, his voice sounds raspy.
"Why do you want to get hurt?"
The room slides out of focus as Sasuke's pupils dilate.
He slams the heavy glass on the table. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he asks roughly, looking down, letting his bangs cover his eyes.
Itachi does not deign to even look at him.
"I want to hurt you," Sasuke yells, "Not the other way around. Don't talk shit!"
Then there is the sound of glass shattering as Sasuke grips the table in an attempt to move away from his aniki who is leaning over him, gripping his chin in his long fingers.
"If that were true…otouto-" Sasuke hate's himself for the way his heart clenches at that word and Itachi's hot breath on his face. "-if that were true…then you would not be here in the middle of the night asking me…to destroy you."
Sasuke swallows, throat suddenly dry, his brother's soft ruthless words resounding in his ears.
Why do you want me to destroy you?
"I don't! " he shouts, shutting his eyes against the cruel words churning in his brain. "I don't…"
"That is why you fight," Itachi continues, "You have no other reason to fight."
Sasuke frowns up at him, glaring at him fiercely. "Are you saying that is why you fight…aniki?"
Itachi smirks at his little brother's guts.
"I fight because I enjoy it, Sasuke."
"Well I enjoy it too!"
Itachi has a sudden image of a very young Sasuke sticking his tongue out at him when he told the boy gently that he liked winter more than spring. Little Sasuke had insisted, just as adamantly, that he liked winter best too…just like his aniki.
A soft finger trails down Sasuke's cheek and the boy stares at it, alarmed.
"It gives me a rush," Sasuke states arrogantly. "It makes me feel alive."
That was true enough. When he had said it to Naruto, the blonde had looked at him with disgust mixed with admiration. It was a failsafe armour that Sasuke had perfected over the years.
"That is not the same thing at all," Itachi smiles.
Sasuke should have remembered that none of his defences ever worked with Itachi.
"I don't know what you mean," he lies.
The hand on his cheek is close to his throat now, caressing the pale flesh tenderly.
"Fighting and getting injured…pain…it makes you feel alive…because you no longer have any other reason to live."
And there is the truth of his life laid bare. There is his most vulnerable spot stripped of all the little white lies that keep him safe. He should have known better than to expose it in front of his brother who is known for his ruthlessness…
"That doesn't make you strong, otouto."
…and Itachi strikes.
"It doesn't make you a grown up."
"It means you never learnt to hate me, much as you tried.
Sasuke's breathing comes fast and shallow. Air…he can't seem to get enough air…
"You want to fight me…because you know I can destroy you."
The hand on his throat tightens.
"You want me to destroy you…because it is easier than destroying yourself…isn't it?"
Sasuke stares at the red glint in his brother's eye and knows that the time for games has passed.
"Because…" he whispers, "What else can I do? I could never hate you…but you do…you hate me."
For the first time, with his throat in his homicidal brother's grip, his life in Itachi's hands, Sasuke smiles, small and true and heartbreakingly innocent.
"You were always stronger than me…aniki."
Then the hand on his throat is replaced by lips, warms and urgent and Sasuke bares his neck to his predator, to the only man who conquered him without even trying.
There is no place for right and wrong now. He and Itachi have always been closer than brothers. He was with Naruto now. These things, these urges, he should only have for the boy he loved and the boy who loved him. But love…is a different thing entirely. This is not about love. This is about desire and need.
On this night, Sasuke has placed his secrets, his weaknesses, his fears in Itachi's hands. Their dance of pretend-hatred had gone on for long enough. It was time for it to end, one way or another. Till Itachi was gone, he could maybe convince himself that he hated the man, maybe he could force himself to love his best friend. But now that he was here, he could not live his life like that; he could not look in Itachi's eyes and tell him that he hated him.
He had never been strong enough to stand up to his brother.
Slender hands rip his clothes apart. All the while, Itachi's lips never once leave his brother's body. They don't feel like kisses; they feel like brands – hot and implacable.
There is nothing to stop him now; nothing to force him to pretend. When Itachi was gone, Sasuke tried desperately to rebuild and hold together the pieces of his life that shattered when he saw his parents dead and Itachi standing over them with a smile on his face. But he was tired of holding together what could never be mended.
Cool, calloused hands roam his naked body and Sasuke is pressed into the couch with Itachi's weight on top of him. Then Itachi's one muscled leg is between Sasuke's legs and Sasuke feels his brother's desire, hot and hard against his own. He moans shamelessly.
That day, so few years ago, Itachi destroyed everything Sasuke held dear, crushed his world and left him alive out of some sick, twisted sense of compassion but he won't do that this time. This time, Sasuke will either have his aniki back or he will die trying.
Itachi's hand is suddenly around his arousal and Sasuke's cheeks flush by how his brother's large hand dwarfs his modest cock. He lets his gaze travel downwards. His brother is much bigger in comparison.
The younger is pulled out of his musings on hearing his name said in that husky, deep voice.
"If we do this tonight," Itachi tells him, "Then tomorrow, your life is over."
Strange how the threat of death doesn't even cause his heart to beat faster the way Itachi's eyes on him do.
"Hai," he agrees and his lips are captured in Itachi's and he Sasuke can taste alcohol and something addictive. His brother's tongue pushes against his lips as both of Sasuke's hands are captured in one of Itachi's and slammed over his head. He does not struggle readily grants him entrance to explore as he pleases. Aniki is in charge here, after all, not him. Besides, if he had just one night to live, what was the point in spending it pretending? No one was going to know how he submitted to his elder brother except Itachi himself and however much Sasuke pretended, Itachi always knew the truth anyway.
When Itachi breaks the kiss, Sasuke is panting hard. But his brother gives him no time to recover and he is being turned over on the couch. Sasuke blushes. It would figure that Itachi would be as much of a control freak while fucking as he was in like.
There are cool, spit slicked fingers probing his asshole. "Has anyone entered you before?"
Sasuke smiles to himself. Itachi doesn't care if he's fucked Naruto. This isn't about the act of sex; Itachi is asking if Sasuke has given himself to anyone before.
"No," he answers and from his brother's low hum, he can tell that the sadist is pleased.
Soon the fingers are stretching him, slowly but roughly. Sasuke squirms, unused to the intrusion in his ass and he can feel Itachi smirk against his skin. The fingers are withdrawn and Sasuke can feel his elder brother – hard and heavy against his crack.
"Have you thought about this before, Sasuke? Of us…of me, doing these things to you?"
One night to live…what was the point in lying? Just for tonight, he would be aniki's Sasuke, the bright eyed little boy who worshipped the ground Itachi walked on. He would be what he had fought against, but longed to be, for all these years.
"Yes…I-" he has to swallow and gather his courage. "I used to jerk off with your name on my lips…aniki…"
Itachi pushes into him roughly and Sasuke cries out, tears gathering in his eyes from the pain. The elder leans over him, putting more of his weigh on his back in response, because he knows that Sasuke finds it comforting to be pinned down.
"Does Naruto-kun know you lust after your aniki, Sasuke?"
Even through the pain, Sasuke laughs breathlessly. "Naruto hates you, aniki."
Itachi smirks and slowly withdraws from his brother's gripping sheath. "He also fears me."
Sasuke grunts softly in agreement. "Who doesn't?"
Itachi says nothing because it is true. He has taken great pains to be feared and hated; there was only one person with whom he failed who is now writhing and moaning so deliciously under him.
The rest of the time, they are silent. The only sounds are their grunts and moans and Sasuke's cries as Itachi takes him, again and again. Soon, Sasuke is exhausted but his brother is insatiable. Itachi arouses him time after time and forces him to beg and plead for the exquisite release that Sasuke had never known before he lay with his elder brother.
Finally, Sasuke glances out the window and sees the first rays of dawn lightening the sky. Itachi is still pounding into him, simultaneously jacking him off. Sasuke stares out at the early morning sky, the last sunrise he will see in his life and smiles peacefully.
"Aniki," he whispers, voice hoarse from screaming. Sometime during the night, Itachi had released his hands and turned him over on his back. He places his hands gently on his brother's biceps. Itachi raises himself up and off his brother.
"…Aishiteru," Sasuke tells him. In response, Itachi bites his neck hard and Sasuke cums for the last time and loses consciousness.
When Sasuke opens his eyes, its late in the morning. He can hear the city traffic outside. Itachi is sleeping soundly on top of him.
"Aniki?" he says in surprise. He had never expected to wake again.
Itachi open sleep-laden eyes to gaze lazily at him and Sasuke's heart clenches in bone-jarring fear.
Was this…everything, was it a game of Itachi's? Was it another way to make Sasuke hate him? Tears gather in his eyes and he grips his elder brother's arms tightly. Hadn't he realized, no matter what he did, he couldn't make Sasuke hate him? Didn't he realize that if he abandoned his otouto again, Sasuke was no longer strong enough to even try and pick up the pieces? This time, Sasuke would stay broken.
"Aniki?" he whispers in a small voice, terrified. "Aniki! Aniki!"
That's the only thing that goes through his head. No, no…even his elder brother could not be that cruel…
"What is it, Sasuke?"
His heart never ceases to beat faster when he hears his name from Itachi's lips, especially in that deep, sleep drugged voice. And he still hasn't gotten off Sasuke.
"You promised," Sasuke says, no longer caring that he sounds like a small child. "You promised…you would kill me this time, aniki. Please…you can't do this to me…you can't, you can't!"
He is sobbing now, pushing weakly against his brother's torso. He knows he sounds hysterical but that is not the important thing right now.
"I promised no such thing," Itachi says, finally raising himself off Sasuke's body to meet his eyes.
Sasuke's eyes widen in panic. "You did! You said-"
"-that if you gave yourself to me, starting to today, your life would be over."
"Yes!" Sasuke breathes, relieved that he admitted it.
"That does not mean I would kill you," Itachi smiles.
"What-?" Sasuke asks, searching his eyes, trying to decipher the strange look in them. He is sure he's never seen that look in Itachi's eyes before. "Then what does it mean?" he manages to ask, heart pounding.
He winces slightly as Itachi presses his thumb against the now purpling mark on his neck.
"It means that today, you move in with me."
Sasuke stops, frozen. Then he blinks rapidly up at his brother.
"You're mine now, Sasuke," Itachi whispers, reaching down to roughly rub his over sensitive organ. "Your life…belongs to me now."
To Sasuke, those words sound too good to be true. His brother…his aniki…finally accepting him…?
"I- yours?" he asked in a small, vulnerable voice, heart pounding at the possessive words that leave no room for argument.
Then Itachi's weight is pinning him to the couch again. "Mine," he affirms. "That is what you wanted, Sasuke. That is what you came here for. To be mine."
It's not even question. It's a statement.
"I have been watching you…for all these years. These urges that are so wrong, these things that should never happen between brothers. I tried to save you, Sasuke. I tried to make you hate me…"
Sasuke gasped when Itachi rubbed his once again hard cock against his own.
"…but it seems you don't want to be saved. That is why you came to me, in the middle of the night, even after I took away everything you held dear, after I beat you within an inch of your life. You made your choice, little brother. You cannot back out now. You will always be mine."
In his elder brother's embrace, Sasuke smiled, tears of joy streaming down his face as his neck was once again attacked by possessive teeth. It was true; deep down inside, this was what he truly wanted, even though he had been scared to truly admit it even to himself, even as he tried to hide this consuming, burning love under the more acceptable guise of hatred. He had brought this upon himself.
And Itachi had really never let him get away with anything.
A/N: Do tell me what you think ^.^