One scan of the hallway was enough to tell me that we were alone. Just like at the gazebo, when Kevin first revealed his true identity to me, it was just us, him and I. After that, our relationship began and it was the best month of my life…until the end of summer camp which is an entirely different story for an entirely different day. Anyway, if I did not act, it would be just me alone at the gazebo. "Hey Kevin?" I asked as I walked over quickly, again making sure no one was watching.
Kevin quickly turned around toward me, "Yo, what's up?" he asked. His expression changed when he realized who it was. "Um…Russ, this is not the right time."
Again, I quickly scanned the hallway. "Actually it is," I said. "There is no one here. We need to talk. I have wanted to have this conversation for awhile."
Kevin shook his head. "Listen Russ…, I am cool with you but everyone knows you're gay."
"Kevin, I came out and I know you can too. When we were together, you said you like who take risks. I came out and if that's not a risk, I do not know what is," I said, folding my arms.
"Bro, I gotta keep my friends," Kevin said. "You know them, they will never talk to me again if I come out."
"Then we need to meet privately like before," I said. "We will go to the pink gazebo, just like the old times. No one caught us." Even I could sense that my words were floating.
Apparently, Kevin agreed. "Again Russ, I just can't stay with you."
"The Kevin I knew would stay with me," I said. "All you care about is yourself."
"Well, maybe I do," Kevin replied. "Maybe I do not even want to talk with you anymore."
He turned and stormed down the hallway. "Wait!" I shouted but Kevin ignored me. I shook my head and sat down next to my locker. What had I done? I should have played it safe and not become so argumentative. Then again, I could not let Kevin walk all over me. I needed a better plan, I needed to lead the conversation and rehearse it properly. Instead of just waiting for the first chance to talk to Kevin, I had to set it up, slowly and deliberately. Yeah, these ideas seem cool but will they work? Wanting to plan out a conversation is easier said than done. A tear fell down my cheek as I wiped my face. Why was Kevin such a coward? No one caught us before, no one will catch us now. I know we can get back together.
"Hey Russ," a voice said. I looked up to see Belinda smiling at me.
"Hey Belinda," I said, weakly waving my hand. Although Belinda was definitely sweet and understanding, I was not sure if I wanted to tell her about Kevin.
"So, guess what? I found him!" Belinda said, smiling.
"Who?" I asked.
"Ike's boyfriend," Belinda said. "Russ, Min told me you like Kevin so no, it's not him."
I breathed a sigh of relief. I thought Min might try to set Kevin up with Ike because she was jealous of me. Last summer, I found a guy but she found nobody. Anyway, trying to find Ike a boyfriend instead of me was pretty mean of her. "So, who is it?" I asked, guessing one of the political kids or maybe some closeted jock (although I was sure Kevin was the only one.)
"Nope," Belinda said. "It's one of the transfers actually. I work in the school office so I know he is new here." I almost laughed, remembering how Belinda discovered our club because she worked in the office.
"So, how do we know he is gay?" I asked.
"I overheard him say he likes guys. Also, he is perfect for Ike. This guy is a Senior like us but he was held back last year! This guy is so hot and I want him but if he is gay…nope. His hair is so wonderful, I love his expression, his brown eyes are amazing and have you seen his hair?..."
Belinda seemed to have forgotten for a moment that I was gay and just as interested in guys as she was. I know Min liked talking about hot guys in front of me but why was Belinda doing it now? Anyway, this guy looked pretty similar to another guy I knew and disliked.
"What's his name?" I asked, noticing how familiar this guy was to someone else.
"Some people called to him as he walked past them. His name was…no, that wasn't it," Belinda said.
My face felt tense. "Just spit it out," I said. Inside my mind, I said, "Please have your name not be Web."
"I was walking by and someone called out to him saying "Hey Bast" or something," Belinda said.
I almost breathed a sigh of relief. The name did not begin a W but had I heard a name with "Bast" in it before? Something in my head poked me, I definitely have but where?
"Now we have to set up Ike and him," Belinda said. I very nearly shook my head. I was the one who needed a boyfriend and if Kevin said no, then I wanted this guy.