Author's Note: Wow! It's been almost a year since I've updated this! And so much yet so little has happened! I guess it really is true what they say: "The more things change, the more they stay the same." I still love this story and I have even renewed passion to finish it!

Ooh, Lookie UST

"How could she? She brainwashing him! Telling him not to tell me! Telling him I would hate him! What kind of nonsense is that? She's probably going to use this somehow in court to take him away from me!"

Ryuichi did not like it when Tohma yelled. He did not like it one bit. And Tohma was yelling quite a lot.

Tohma's rants quickly turned into English, and then French, and then something that sounded reminiscent of a monkey having a temper tantrum. Ryuichi poked Kumagoro's head up from behind the bed.

"Toh-kun, you're being very scary," he voiced. "Ryu-tan and Kuma-tan don't like it when you get scary. Please don't be so sad like that."

Tohma froze, his heart breaking in two right there. He crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. "C'mere Ryuichi…" he mumbled, returning to their native language. "I won't yell anymore, promise."

Ryuichi whimpered, but crawled up onto the bed, still cowering behind Kumagoro.

"Ryuichi…" Tohma started with a frown. He reached forward, but let his hand hang in the air.

Ryuichi was afraid of him. Just like everyone else. He didn't want to scare him. He didn't want to upset him. He loved Ryuichi.

He withdrew his hand. "Ryu, I'm tired."

Ryuichi nodded. "Toh-kun should take a bubble bath and a nappy."

Tohma blinked. "A…what?"

"Here, I'll help."

Tohma's face turned red as his tie and shirt were done away with. "What? Ryuichi, no! I'm not a child!"

"Tohma! Stop struggling!

"As soon as you stop trying to undress me!"

"But I wanna give you a bathy!"

"Baths don't solve everything, you overgrown baby!"

"Wahh, Tohma! That's not very nice at all!"

"Don't try to change the subject!"

"What subject?"

"The fact that you're stripping me!"

Ryuichi giggled, pinning Tohma's hands above his head. He already had the blonde's legs pinned down under his own, and he leaned forward, almost able to feel the heat pooling in Tohma's cheeks.

Oh god, Tohma had never been able to see Ryuichi's eyes up so close before. He watched those decisive pupils zoom in and out and examine his every move. He memorized where each and every sun-kissed freckle was on his pale skin. He watched those soft lips, far from how virgin they looked, as they pulled up into a dastardly smirk and-goddamnit-he wished he hadn't worn skinny jeans today.

"Tohma…" Ryuichi breathed. He placed his other hand on Tohma's soft ivory chest.

He felt like jelly, completely and entirely powerless to the beautiful man above him. This was all wrong. He was Seguchi fucking Tohma. He wasn't going to just lie down and take it from some hyperactive little brat. He-oh God, the way Ryuichi was touching him felt so right! It didn't matter, all he knew was he wanted Ryuichi and he wanted him now!

Tohma moaned, not caring how pitiful he sounded. "Ryu…please…"

Ryuichi raised an eyebrow, stroking the clothed bulge slower. Whimpers resounded from the blonde, only further boosting Ryuichi's ego. "Please what, Tohma?"

He whined, his face reddening more. "T-touch me…"

Suddenly the magnitude of what was happening hit Ryuichi like a truck. Tohma was begging. He could easily take what he wanted, he could easily fill that request and defile the man before him. But…

He sighed.

"I'm sorry…" he stood up, grabbing Kumagoro by the ear. The confident sexy Ryuichi that had been moments ago was no more. Now his smirk was replaced with a frown full of shame and regret. Tohma almost felt tears in his eyes. He had been so sure that that was real, that Ryuichi had felt it too. If Ryuichi really wanted to have him, he easily could.

Am I not good enough? Tohma sniffled. Is being attached to one person that you love too much for the famous, wild child Sakuma Ryuichi?

But Tohma had no chance to ask, or to tell Ryuichi that he loved him, that he didn't care, that it didn't matter if he was taken as long as it was by the man he loved, the man who made him feel fantastic and happy in every way, for Ryuichi had already fled the room. He sighed.

Maybe you don't love me at all…

Ryuichi couldn't believe himself. He had nearly deflowered Tohma! Oh God, he'd never forgive him! He'd pack his things and leave tomorrow for sure!

"Dammit!" He slammed his fist into the kitchen counter. This wasn't how everything was supposed to happen! "Dammit, dammit, dammit!"


Ryuichi froze.

"I finally got him to stop crying. He really did believe that Seguchi-san would hate him. Mika-san spun him quite the tale."

The brunette sighed. "I know…"

"Seguchi-san looked very upset."

Ryuichi opened one of the cabinets, searching for some ramen to make as a quick dinner. Perhaps then Tohma would forgive him, if it was possible to find it in your heart to forgive an almost-rape. "He was…is."

Keita walked over to Ryuichi, watching him fill up a pot with water. "You look pretty upset too."

Ryuichi smiled sadly. "No, I'm fine, thank you."

"Are you sure?" Keita frowned.

Ryuichi merely nodded.

"Alright then. Would you mind if I stayed for a while? I wouldn't want to leave Kazu-kun and then have him wake up confused and alone."

The brunette sighed, flicking on the burner and putting the pot of water on it. "Of course, Keita. Make yourself at home."

There was silence, but finally Ryuichi was awarded with the sound of Keita's retreating footsteps down the hall and back into Kazune's room.

Standing there, alone, pot of water simmering, all Ryuichi could think of was how much he missed the feel of his skin against beautiful, beautiful Tohma's. How he dearly wanted Tohma's lips upon his own. How with every fiber in his entire soul he wanted to see Tohma smile and forget everything.

Pat. Pat. Pat.

"Huh?" Ryuichi turned around to see Tohma pat-patting his way across the floor, his hair still damp, some comfortable clothes thrown on quickly, his feet bare. His glasses were dangling on the edge of his nose and his face was the cutest rosy shade Ryuichi had ever seen in his life. "Tohma? What are…is something wr-"

The rest was muffled and then quieted by pure bliss. Ryuichi was dizzy with confusion and euphoria and the lack of oxygen as Tohma pulled the brunette closer, tripping and nearly knocking them both over in the process. Tongues mingled, quiet moans surfaced, and hearts fluttered with each and every touch. Ryuichi had no idea what drug Tohma was on, but he hoped the man would never sober up.

Tohma gasped for air, wrapping his arms around Ryuichi's neck tighter as the brunette nipped and licked around his neck. "Ryuichi…wanted…for so long…" He had so much to say, yet it seemed that now he could only get out bits and pieces, his mind numb.

"I know Tohma, I know…" he mumbled against Tohma's skin, all youth gone in his eyes for the moment. "I have too…" His hands slid down to Tohma's bottom, kneading them slowly, receiving a noise that was somewhere between a moan and a whine.

"Oh god, Ryuichi…" he whimpered.

Ryuichi nuzzled Tohma's hair with a sly smile. "Hmm?"


Well that's weird. That time it sounded more distant.


"GYAHHH!" He jolted up, slamming his head into the cabinets above him.

"It's no good to sleep on the countertop! You'll get hair in the food! And look! Now you've burnt the ramen! Who burns ramen!" Kazune continued to yell and scold him, smacking him again and again on the head with a rolled up newspaper. "Stupid stupid stupid!"

Ryuichi teared up. "Kazu-tannnnn! Don't say such mean things to me! Owwie, owwie, owwie!"

Kazune sighed, pouring the burnt ramen down the drain. "You're so stupid…stupid…stupid…stupid…"

Ryuichi looked up. "…?"

Kazune was a bit pale, his eyes still a bit red from crying, but when he looked up, he looked more tired than sad. "Ryuichi. He's locked himself in his room."

Locked…himself….in….his room?

Ryuichi heard himself ask, "Who, Kazune?"