His Christmas Snow Angel

Dean woke up with a start, clinging to his damp with sweat bed sheets and sighing when he looked over at the digital alarm clock, bold red letters staring him down like a demon. 3 am. Another nightmare. He sighed loudly and slowly pushed his way off the bed into the bathroom. As soon as he looked at the flower patterned shower curtain he realized he was at Bobby's house. Funny how it took him that long to figure out whose bed he was sleeping in. Sam was off on a witch hunt, specifically telling his brother that he needed to work this one alone.

"Probably PMS" he mumbled to himself, staring at his shaken figure in the mirror.

He thought for a second that he should probably take a shower, but forgot while in the process of trying to remember his dream. He was still dreaming of his days in hell almost a year after Cas had dug him out of the pit. He turned the tap on and he let the cool water soften his hands and dampen his face, closing his eyes and thinking of days when it was Sam who had the nightmares. Not that he didn't feel bad at the time, imagining his little brother waking up nearly every night was depressing, but it wasn't like he wanted to relive the damn torture and be tortured sessions over and over. He had been really pissed off about it for a while there, but right now he was too damn tired to be mad at anything or anyone. He just wanted to curl up back in his bed and have a night where he slept more than 2 hours at a time.

He sighed again, wondering where his angel was. Hell, it was Christmas Eve. Sam wasn't here, Bobby was either passed out drunk in the living room (why wasn't Dean?) or working on his cars, and Cas was... Well, he sure wasn't here. Dean tried to ponder why his whole family had practically abandoned him but could not. He didn't need any more depression. He guessed he just needed to sleep this Christmas away and remember to be thankful that he was still alive to be living through yet another one. He remembered not too long ago when Sam was the one who had been depressed because that would have been the last Christmas with his older brother.

Dean really wanted to go back to bed but he was too stubborn to even try, instead continuing to stare at his sad and pale little figure in the cracked mirror. He walked back to the bed slowly and grabbed a bottle of cheap whiskey, unscrewing the cap as he looked around the small room. That was when he saw faint red and green lights shining dimly through the window.

"What the hell?" Dean said louder than he wanted to.

Sam wasn't set to be back for 2 more days, at least. And Bobby, well what car has red and green lights? Considering Bobby hadn't even bothered to set up a Christmas tree this year, even though he had a whole collection of real ones just outside his doorstep. So why the hell would he have decorated a car? And then Dean stopped wondering about that and started wondering why the hell he even cared about this. He never did before. What was there to celebrate anyway? His brother becoming more distant from him? His angel only coming half the time when he called for him in desperation and anger? His father and mother dead? Lucifer being released from hell? And more demons than ever wreaking havoc on earth?

No. Dean Winchester did not celebrate Christmas. Dean Winchester was better off alone. Dean Winchester was...

"Shit", Dean sat down on the windowsill, holding his head in his hands.

Somewhere deep down inside of him, he had wanted this Christmas to be different. He had wanted to spend it with someone special. With his brother, his angel, and Bobby. Or even a stranger that he didn't even know. Just somebody to talk to. Somebody to drink with. Somebody to...

Enjoy all the joys of the Christmas season with. Sigh.

Dean turned his head away from the window and soon after heard a thump. His head flew around to see flickers of colored lights once again, and then the outside was cast out in pitch black once more. Except for the full moon shimmering high above the snow. He tried to look around but could see nothing. Only his pale reflection. He stood up angrily, dreading to go back out into the cold but too curious to crawl back into his warm bed. He walked downstairs feeling like a kid going to open his presents from Santa and pulled on his coat, which was still damp with snow from his early evening stroll before his delicious turkey burger dinner. Bobby must be outside or in his bedroom upstairs, since the living room was vacant.

Dean opened the door and stepped outside into the softly falling snow. The door slammed shut behind him as Dean pulled his leather jacket closer around his shivering body. He walked towards where his room was, knowing the sounds and lights came from around that area. After 5 minutes of walking he was becoming a great deal more frustrated. Everything in him was telling him to go back inside but he continued on.

"Cas?" he questioned loudly, although knowing he would get no answer.

It wouldn't be him anyway. Why the hell would an angel be snooping around the snow? That angel always had something to do, something to ask of him and Sam. Why would this Christmas be any different?

"Hello?"

Dean wrapped his jacket around him even more, hoping to soak up its last fragments of warmth. He was near the woods now. Surrounded by trees and now the snow was falling even harder. And that was when he saw it. The flickering red and green and now yellow lights. Just around the corner. He paused, hiding behind a tree. He wished he brought a gun or knife or some other weapon now, standing here, not having a single clue as to what lay down around the corner from him. He drew a deep breath and turned sharply.

Dean almost fainted at the shocking sight before him. He felt stupid now as he looked at those flashing lights, the fact that he had no clue earlier what they were for.

"Well, I'm the Christmas idiot this year."

Dean walked closer to the Christmas tree. The biggest tree he had ever seen. And as he walked closer, he realized that it wasn't just any Christmas tree, it was his Christmas tree. Unless there was another guy named Dean, who had his name on a sign hung near the middle of the tree. Words that said proudly and in big bold yellow letters:

Merry Christmas Dean!

Dean just stared up at it, for the longest amount of time, wondering who had took the time out of their Christmas to decorate it with hundreds of yellow and green and red and purple and all the colors of the rainbow lights. He smiled and stepped closer. Dean was so shocked and so happy and so bewildered that he did not hear the nearby flutter of wings, and the angel who now stood behind him. An angel who was smiling at how happy Dean was, at how all he could do was stare at his creation for him. He knew it was cruel to leave Dean out of the know for too long though, so he stepped up slowly to stand beside him. Not wanting to startle the shaking human. Dean looked over to see an angel, his angel, looking at him and him alone. Smiling at him and him alone. He could not help but smile back.

"Cas?"

Cas nodded at the question his human did not even need to ask. He looked before him once more at his creation.

"Merry Christmas, Dean."

"Why?"

"Because you deserve it. Because I want you to have a Christmas you will remember."

"Wow, Cas. I mean... Wow."

Dean was left there, standing in the snow with his angel, speechless. Cas actually did care about him. He could not even believe that Cas would go through that much trouble to want his Christmas to be merry. He knew somewhere in his heart that there was something else to all of this, but for the life of him, he could not see the signs right now. All he could do was stare up at his present and stare over at his angel, his Cas, who had given him a beautiful shining Christmas in the snow.

"Do you like it?"

"Do I like it? Cas... I love it!" And believe me, this is a Christmas I will remember."

Cas smiled over at Dean and surprisingly Dean put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him closer. Eventually, though it took him much longer than Cas would have ever thought, his hunter turned away from the tree to look him straight in the eye.

"But I didn't get you anything."

Cas just stared back and smiled.

"I do not need a gift, Dean. I have received what I have asked for."

"What's that?"

"You."

And that was when the young hunter lost himself in the depths of his angel's immensely beautiful clear blue eyes. And Cas forgot who he was as he stared and drowned in the hazel seas of his hunter. Cas was so swept up in the beauty of this snow covered night and the love of his life, that he had no clue whatsoever who had leaned in first, but he guessed it would have been Dean. All he knew was that this would forever be the best night of his life, and also the start of a new life to share with the one he loved. His lips opened slowly as Dean's covered his. He felt his human's arm wrap around his back, pulling him closer, and Cas was pushing himself farther into him, never wanting him to let go. It certainly didn't feel like Dean was going to let go anytime soon anyway, so Cas lost himself. He lost himself in imagining living a life with Dean. What it would be like. If Dean would be as happy as he would be. He smiled as Dean pulled away, only a few inches though.

"Don't let go."

Castiel placed 2 fingers on his forehead.

"I will never leave you, Dean Winchester."

Dean allowed himself to close his eyes, knowing Cas wanted to give him another surprise. He opened them again when he felt Cas's lips once more on his. They were standing in the sand on a beach, Dean guessed, was somewhere in Maine. Dean smiled, happy as he could ever be, as Cas pulled him down towards the sand. And there they lay together, for who knew how long, staring out at the ocean and gazing into each others eyes. And Dean realized in that moment, that there was nowhere else he would rather be. Cas had done all this for him and he loved him for it. He clung to him, clung to this place as Cas wrapped his warm and comforting arms around his frozen solid body. But he couldn't feel it, he could only feel the warmth of Castiel's love. The longing he had to spend every single Christmas after this with his angel. This was perfection. This was love. This was...

Without a doubt, a reason to live.

"Merry Christmas, Cas."

"Merry Christmas, Dean."

Cas zapped them back into Bobby's house. And 5 minutes later they curled up on the couch, sipping the hot chocolate that Dean had made and eating the microwave popcorn that Cas had figured out how to make pop. A fire was making them toasty and Dean, caught up in the tender moment, leaned in for a chocolate and buttery kiss. Castiel returning it with as much passion as his hunter had put into it. Dean curled up in his arms, head resting on his angel's chest, completely relaxed and warm. Cas leaned down to kiss his human's forehead, stroking his spiky hair back from his face and playing with it as he drifted off to sleep.

"Sleep now, Dean. There will be no more nightmares. Ever."

Dean smiled at his promise and slowly closed his eyes. He was exhausted.

"Tomorrow morning we will make snow angels."

"You're the only angel I'll ever need", Dean mumbled before drifting off into wonderland in his angel's arms.

FIN