So…I've been gone for forever and I apologize, but shit hit the fan in RL and ever since, I've been cleaning the walls… (0.o) … but I'm still sorry for leaving you hanging!

Enjoy! (:

DISCLAIMER: I don't own nuffin'. ;D


I still have nightmares. Almost every night they come. I see the flash of light, the cars, and the shock of it all making it all come out in slow motion. I see my parents laughing. I see it all, even the collision. I'm always glued to the spot, mouth sewn shut. I can't do anything.

Then, like always, it transforms and I'm suddenly enveloped in darkness, the flash of lights dimmed completely. But as I regain my body, I start to walk in the same direction every time. I never know why, but I do. And every time, there's a light. Dim, but it's still there. I follow it, which always leads me to them. Her. She's always crying. That's when I become paralyzed again. I can't do anything until he leaves. She's still crying and even though I know it's her and she's crying, I still check.

Every. Time.

And every night I wake up, sweating, panting, reaching for my phone.

Every time.

Before I click on Bella's number, though, my senses come back to me and I throw the phone on the bed before heading for a shower.

Every night. Same thing.

Esme was worried. Carlisle and Alice were, too, but they were better at hiding it.

I've always wanted to confront her about it. Him, too. Actually, I wanted to beat the fucker to the ground, and then send him to rot in a place the sun don't shine.

But dreams didn't mean anything.

I mean, I didn't see the crash; it's just something my overactive imagination decided to conjure up to torture me, because we all know our bodies are our enemies.


Then…there's Bella.

She took me to the kids, showed me herself. I visited with her, almost every day. Even brought a keyboard to contribute.

Actually, I kinda wanted to show off in front of Bella.

What? I'm still a hormonal teenage boy, no matter what happened.

I don't think she notices. To me I'm normal. Emmett's cool. Rose is kinda quiet, but I haven't seen her in a while. Alice is obviously crushing on Jasper and my big brother instincts kick in. I like Jasper, though, so I guess he's good. He's like the quiet to the storm that is Alice. He's calm and collected and she's all over the place crazy.

Love her, though.

Like a sister.

And Bella…

Jesus, she's amazing.

The thing with the kids? Not expecting that.

If only I knew for sure, I could go to the cops; I would have a reason to kill the fucker.

I've honestly never felt so much hostility towards another person in my life. I wanted to tell someone, anyone, but I always hesitated.

I pray to god it's just a dream, which it is, but there's that chance. This was the reason she went from bright yellow to black. The drastic change in the short period. It made sense, but I had no proof and I wasn't going to just outright ask her.

No, it was just a dream? But who the fuck dreams that?

I'm pissed off now. Fuck.

I adjust the leather jacket Alice bought me for my bad boy costume. Whatever. The shirt clung to me and the pants were just a little too tight, but I dealt, because Halloween was like Alice's Christmas.

And Alice enjoyed Christmas.

People in this small town went all out for this anti-holiday, except Bella.

Funny how all my thoughts always come back to her.

Anyway, she's not wearing a costume, though I know Alice will try to fix that by tonight. She insists we're not too old for trick-or-treating. Which is bull, but she could pass for a sixth-grader, so it's okay.

It's an unsaid agreement that I follow Bella to the hospital everyday where we entertain the children and then head home. We've done more than play music, though. Bella draws with them, I'm the judge.

They all get gold stars.

It's that look of pure happiness in their eyes that brings me back every time.

Especially when it's reflected in her brown ones.


My absence was forever long and I apologize and hope you liked this! (:

Edward's not handy-dandy, dude, though he's got a tough exterior, it's like a defense mechanism. When you lose someone close like your parents, especially both, it's hard, then to move far away to a new place where everyone else seems to have problems, it's easier to just shut down and go through the motions. Eventually, you can open up, but it takes time until you snap. Well, it was like that for me, but I didn't snap, I just started to be able to talk about it without sounding like a bitch.

This sounds confusing, and if you understand what I'm saying, great, if you don't…then sorry because I don't know how else to explain junk!

ANYWAYS! Thanks for anyone still around!

-Bianca! (: