Title: These Blue Eyes
Rating: T for some mild language and heart-break ):
Couple: Slight House/Wilson, Wilson previous marriage mentions
Type: Tragedy, Romance, Heart-break, Happiness, Sad!House- sort of out of character.
Disclaimer: I do not own House MD characters. I do own the plot and the two character: Gretchen and Felicity
A/N: Couldn't think of the best title, so this will have to do.
These Blue Eyes
And then he looked at the man holding him, he couldn't have these feeling for him. He stopped breathing for a second and looked in his friend's eyes. "I can't have these feelings for you, Greg."
"You can't," House stated realizing his grip, "but you do, I see a problem," he smirked sarcastically.
"You don't understand!" he shouted angrily, "everything is a joke to you! You are impossible," he felt his heart beat up. "It's impossible to love you."
"Yet you do."
"I never sai-"
"But you didn't stop me from kissing you," he had another smirk on his lips and Wilson melted a bit trying to push House away from him.
"I know," he said releasing himself from his friend. He went over and picked up House's cane. "Here," he said and noticed that House was still smiling.
+The car ride held all too familiar feelings. A man looked in his rear view mirror to see his daughter strapped in a car seat. She noticed him watching and gave him a soft smile. Her piercing blue eyes definitely were a reminder of something that he had wished he'd forgotten; the funny thing was that his wife had had green eyes.
Had, being the key word in the sentence. Gretchen Carrie Wilson died on April 16th at 6:37a.m. after having M.S. and not being able to stabilize it, it popped out of nowhere and when they had finally figured it out, after Gretchen had ignored all of the symptoms, it was already too late. And when they had found out on April 10th she had died only 6 days later.
Today is May 1st and James Wilson and his 4 year-old daughter, Felicity, are heading over to an old town with lots of memories, well for James at least. It was about noon and they were only an hour away from a town in New Jersey. Wilson was almost shaking with anticipation. He was being extra careful though, but he couldn't wait to be back.
"Daddy," the small child asked and he looked in the mirror to meet her eyes that never faltered. She hadn't understood why her mother was gone. But she accepted pretty well. She loved her mother, she had cried, but not as much as she should have. Wilson was worried for her. Maybe she was going through some sort of stress that a little 4 year-old should not be going through. He shook his mind clear for a moment and looked at the road quickly and then back to his daughter's stare. He shifted slightly feeling a tad bit uncomfortable, he didn't know why, maybe he felt guilty that he did something wrong.
"Yes, Felicity?" his voice was even and normal as it should be.
"Where are we going?"
"I told you," he repeated, "we are going to see some old friends of daddy's."
"I know, I know," she started in slight frustration, "but where? Who?" Even if he told him she would not have the slightest idea of where or who they were talking about. They had lived in New York very close to the city and Gretchen was a lawyer and Wilson was still an oncologist, but just for a bigger hospital.
"We are going to a hospital in New Jersey."
"Another," she sighed, she has obviously had enough of visiting hospitals. "Why? Is there someone sick we are going to visit?"
"No," he smiled, "this is for a good reason." He had always known his daughter to be very persistent. This was the thing. Only a handful of doctors at PPTH knew about Felicity Wilson. A handful meaning Cuddy and a few other close members, excluding House.
The father and daughter pair chatted about her preschool a little because Gretchen and Wilson enrolled her a little earlier in a progression school. She really loves it and is very smart. She says that she wants to grow up and help people when she is older just like her parents. She had the same eye shape as Wilson, but the heart shaped face of Gretchen. She had a color between Wilson's brown hair and Gretchen's blonde hair, so it was a sandy blonde and she had her mother's curls. The only thing that got everyone was her eye color. They didn't even understand that, Gretchen's family didn't have any blue eyes and neither did Wilson's.
Only half an hour did they pull into the lovely PPTH. Wilson had called Cuddy 10 minutes before to tell her where he was. She was going to meet him in the lobby of the hospital.
It was sunny outside, that was a fact. It had drizzled a little when they had gotten into New Jersey, but it cleared up quickly and left puddles that reflected the nature surrounding. It was still breezy outside and chilly because of the snow that had just melted away. Blame it on Global Warming? He parked between a Sudan and a Ford Focus. He got out of his car carefully and felt unsteady for a second.
He looked at the hospital. His best friend was in there. From where he was standing he saw the same motorcycle that he had been driven home on after he had an incident with one of his girlfriends. He was very drunk but he soberly smelled the normal dark and clean musk of his best friend. He let it slip out that he was in love with him, he had simply replied back that it was the alcohol speaking.
He heard Felicity kicking in her seat and jogged around the side of the car and opened up the door. He unbuckled her and she held out her arms and wrapped them tightly around her father's neck.
Wilson locked the door and took another look at the hospital.
"It's beautiful," she gaped looking at the large old building. He nodded his head and she turned back to face him and kissed him on the cheek. He gave her a smile and kissed her back on the cheek. She giggled and that's just what he needed to make his way over to the front doors. Everything seemed in slow motion. He wasn't in his normal suit like he would be wearing. He was wearing jeans, gym shoes, a long sleeved shirt and a light jacket on top while his daughter sported a small blue North Face and a light pink dress underneath with sandals that matched the North Face. Her short bobbed hair was just barely hitting her shoulders with definite curls and she had some freckles on her cheeks like her mother.
The pair continued over to the entrance, his grip tightened around her body and she felt the change.
"It'll be great, Daddy," he smiled at her as they reached the sidewalk leading to the doors. He took one last look at the sky and then heard the automatic doors slide open and he stepped through.
+He immediately met eye contact with a woman who was standing at a counter chatting with a fellow doctor. Wilson set Felicity down and held onto her hand and led her over to the woman who was smiling at them both, looking from each.
"You are quite a sight for sore eyes," and she stepped forward and wrapped her arms gingerly around his neck, she wasn't wearing anything as showy as she usually did. Her hair was in a loose bun and she wore a black v-neck shirt, a black skirt with yellow heals. She smelled slightly different then she had before. He remembered the sadness she had when he left knowing that the only person being able to control House would be gone and also that she would be loosing a dear friend. "I'm so sorry for your loss," she whispered into his neck. He felt hot tears on his neck and then she let go she wiped her eyes and turned to Felicity who was standing next to Wilson holding onto his pants.
"And this," she looked crouched down and looked at the small girl. Wilson put a hand on her head and rubbed it lovingly.
"Felicity," she moved behind his leg a little, "don't be shy, she's a good friend of mine." she then looked at Cuddy and then back to her father and tugged on his pants. She then motioned him to come closer to her and she whispered:
"She's really pretty, Daddy," Wilson nodded in agreement and then noticed Cuddy's red face.
"You can call me Lisa," Cuddy spoke to the girl and she nodded and then held out her small hand to her. Cuddy gripped in and they shook. Wilson laughed and Cuddy smiled admirably at her.
"How's it been here?" Wilson asked as he grabbed Felicity's hand again and she began to tug at it. "How's he been here?" Cuddy almost looked shocked, but it wasn't pretend. Her eyes widened and she shook her head.
"He's been a mess," she said, "the balance of obnoxiousness got so messed up; he done and still goes over the top."
"Has he had any relationships? Connected with someone else?"
"He had a girlfriend for a while and then she moved to Alaska, and he never does connect with anyone else." Felicity had finally built up enough power and released herself from her father's grip and raced to the window to look outside. She then spun around to see the inside of the building and noticed people watching her. She smiled and waved at them. Cuddy was watching her as well, "she is beautiful, James, she is definitely your daughter. Same eye shape, same personality. You're wife must've been beautiful."
"She was," he stated and looked at the small girl who was looking around curiously at everything and everyone. "She always will be," he smiled sadly at her and she patted his shoulder lovingly. Felicity then ran back over to them and ran right into Wilson and wrapped her arms around his leg. Cuddy began to talk to the small girl and then Wilson heard a ding of an elevator and it definitely caught his attention like someone was watching him. With a smile still on his face and Cuddy crouched down next to his daughter he looked over and saw piercing blue eyes watching him. There was a hint of hatred, disgust, regret and sadness in them. Wilson had never stayed in contact with his friend. House even had tried feeble attempts to talk with him. But when he left no one really knew why and he never said goodbye to his friend.
Cuddy looked up as if she was talking to him and noticed his darkened and frozen face. She stood up and turned around. House then looked at her and Felicity was still clinging onto her father.
"Wilson?" Cuddy asked seeing that he was staring at House.
"Daddy," Felicity said, "What is it? What's wrong?"
"N-nothing," he said and he watched House duck to the side and hobbled down the hallway to his left. "Cuddy, will you-?"
"Yeah," she said and took Felicity's hand, and he unlatched himself from his daughter. He then sprinted down the hallway after House. She looked up at Cuddy surprised. "How about I show you my office," Felicity's face lit up and she nodded happily and they walked over to the elevator and Cuddy pressed the up button. She looked to where Wilson was still running after House. She led Felicity into the elevator and they ascended the floors.
"House," he called and was almost caught up with him when he turned into a room. Wilson slowed down and stopped in front of the open, empty room. He stepped inside not seeing House right away. He walked in 5 steps and the door closed behind him. He jumped and turned around to see House standing there with his hand on the door. House moved to click the lock shut; there were no windows except for the one that looked outside to the courtyard.
Wilson assessed House's face and saw anger.
"So you return," House scowled and moved in front of the door leaning on his cane. He looked very similar to when Wilson had left at first. He looked a little thinner, but that was it. Wilson took a step backwards.
"Look," Wilson said and took another step back as he watched House walk forward.
"You think you can just shut me out," he said miserably.
"No I di-"
"You thought that I wouldn't notice that you moved to New York and had a new family, Cuddy was gone for a weekend, and I wasn't even invited to the wedding. Why? Do you hate me? Did all this time you just pretend to be my friend? Because I have been wondering that for the last 7 years of my life, I thought that I did something wrong to make you leave. I tried to contact you, but you ignored everything. You must've switched your numbers or something." House was glaring at him.
"House, I never meant to-"
"Never meant to what? Tear the only good thing away from me, that was you if you were wondering what I was implying. I never expected you not to leave me, I thought you might, but I was hoping we wouldn't act like a bad soap opera when a person just leaves and doesn't tell his best friend why he left. But apparently some of us aren't as mature as others." House took another step forward and Wilson felt the desk pressing into the back of his legs and House just kept getting closer. "I know about your wife," House whispered only a few inches from his face.
"I'm sorry," Wilson cried.
"You should be."
House had always been a little bit taller than him. Those striking blue eyes looked at him and Wilson began to cry, House dropped his cane and grabbed the sides of Wilson's face. He then brought the younger man into his chest for a hug. Wilson had known that he had forgiven him. He wrapped his arms around House and inhaled deeply through sobs.
"She has my eyes," House smiled and kissed the side of Wilson's head. Wilson clutched onto him tighter than before.
"I know," he spoke and wrapped his arms even more tightly around the older man; he clutched onto his jacket and continued to cry.
"My life has sucked without you," House stated and earned a laugh from Wilson who hiccupped, "I missed you, James."
"I missed you too, Greg." House wiped his thumb on Wilson's cheeks and rubbed away the tears. "You will love Felicity; she is a lot like you." Wilson pushed himself away from House while waving his hands in front of his face. Trying to get rid of all the marks of his crying and drying his cheeks in the process. They then walked out into the hall, towards the elevator and up the stories.
"Can you tell me that you love me," Wilson asked, he was lying on his couch, not expecting House to say anything. There were in Wilson's office and it was as if they switched places. Wilson was lying on his back looking at the ceiling and spacing off as House would usually do. House was at Wilson's desk drinking Wilson's coffee. Not that Wilson cared. He expected as much from someone like House.
"Could you repeat that," House said calmly. There was a squeak from the chair telling Wilson that he was leaning backwards.
"Can you tell me that you love me?" But it wasn't a creak that he was leaning backwards it was a creak that he stood up and walked over to Wilson.
"I'm not going to make some cheesy love scene like The Breakfast Club or other 80's movies. But I will show you how much I care for my Jimmy-Wimmy." House sat on the edge of the couch and leaned forward to press his lips to the unexpecting Wilson who even more unexpectedly wrapped his arms around House to make it even stronger. "That's how much." He finally said as they let go.
"I had a feeling."
+The elevator was a normal ride. Not too crowded (just House and Wilson), not to long (just a few floors) and definitely not that awkward (there could've been a vote for that one). It was extremely awkward. Both men had the same things running through their heads. The thing which reminded Wilson why he left. They stood as far apart as they could in this tiny elevator.
They had an infatuation for each other, almost an unhealthy feeling. They would make-out so passionately on a desk and then next House would be going and getting a hooker making Wilson feel miserable. And when they moved it to a couch or anywhere else, Wilson would go and get a date with a pretty brunette nurse and House would feel just as bad as Wilson had felt. So Wilson had to leave. Had to leave his life in New Jersey and marry some gorgeous lawyer who had problems of her own. House had been right, those ideas that he could only love the ones who were needy, it was true. That's why Wilson had been attracted to House, not that House was needy, he was, but also that he gave him a challenge.
Wilson had a change of heart, or so he tried to convince himself that he did. He had a daughter whom he loved dearly. That couldn't change-
The elevator clicked to their floor. Wilson stepped out first. It was the clinic level. Everything was similar and he got some gasps and waves from nurses and doctors on this level. He smiled and led House to Cuddy's office where Felicity was sitting on one of her couches. Cuddy was staring at her with a motherly admiration. Her cheek was in her hands and she stared at the four year-old smiling.
"You've got a very grown-up daughter. You should be proud." House looked around Wilson where Felicity was looking at House. Wilson stepped aside and Felicity stood up and ran around her father's leg.
"You don't need to be afraid," Wilson cooed, "he won't bite."
"Hard," House said, Wilson looked up at him, "I won't bite hard." Felicity giggled and that brought a smile to House's face. She then moved around her Dad and walked over to House and held up her hand. Getting the implication he bent down a little and shook it.
"It's nice to meet you." She was just like Wilson.
"Quick," House said with fake fear, "she's too much like Wilson; we'll have to perform brain surgery to fix that." Wilson rolled his eyes and Cuddy laughed into her hand. Wilson looked at Cuddy.
"What?" she smiled, "It's true she's a lot like you. And do you know what she wants to do when she grows up." Wilson looked at the ceiling and House raised his eyebrows. "She wants to be a doctor and help cancer patients, like Wilson."
"It's true," she smiled; her bright blue eyes glittered as she looked at House.
"Instead of the irresistible brown puppy dog eye that you have, she has my blue eyes."
"You just called my eyes irresistible," Wilson smirked, "I'm not surprised that you feel that way about my eyes." Then he remembered that the tug on his pants was from his little girl that was staring at him in confusion. "He's just my best friend, sweetie. We always joke around."
Cuddy had noticed House's face drop though, it was a sad thing to watch. Like all the happiness was sucked out of him. Like he was when Wilson left.
"But I do have his eyes." Wilson smiled and rubbed her head.
"You've got something," Wilson replied
"Hey," Cuddy began, "we'll meet you up with House's team. They are on their usual floor. They are doing work. They'd love a break, how about you two head up there and we'll meet up with you in about 10 minutes." Wilson nodded and grabbed Felicity's hand and they walked to the elevator. House looked at Cuddy, Cuddy looked back.
"You love him."
"You are in love with Wilson. All those jokes, flirting. It was all real. Does he know?"
"He does, he did. We had a thing…when I worked him. Ever wonder why he left. Why he really left?"
"Oh my god. He left because you two had a thing for each other, that you probably broke it off. Didn't you? Lost me my best oncologist."
"How is this about you?" He shouted.
"It's not," she shouted back, "it's about you and how you don't treat things correctly. How far did you two get? Probably not sex. But you probably messed it up. You probably called a hooker one night and then it brought on a whole chain of events. He just couldn't stay away because he is fragile and you have been the greatest thing in his life." Cuddy looked horrified, "how the fuck do you sleep at night."
"Like everyone else," he said through gritted teeth, "like a baby." He started for the door but she was quicker. She locked it and stood against it.
"You are sick. You broke your best friend."
"He was the one that left!"
"You should know better," she yelled.
"You know nothing about our relationship." And then it hit him, she knew all about there relationship, she just wanted him to admit it.
"I know enough to know how he was the happiest man alive when he got married to Gretchen, how that sparkle in his eye was when I got the email of him holding his new baby girl with his lovely wife next to him. How he got away! How he left without a word of objection from friends and just left because it was that easy. And I'm sure it killed him to know that he would leave you, lose you. But it won't be the same, House. Let. Him. Be."
"You can't be so sure," it wasn't as clever or as strong sounding as he wanted it to be. It came out more as a whimper or a cry for help. "You don't know anything." And he walked to the couch and buried his head in his hands and cried. The Gregory House was crying, crying because he knew that he had lost his best friend. He knew that Lisa Cuddy was correct about Wilson and his messed up relationship. She was a pain in the ass, but she was right. "He said that he missed me."
"He did," she sounded softer than ever and she took a seat next to him. "He talked to me, you know." She put his arm around House. "He told me about his feelings, about the hookers and it broke him apart. About not having sex with you, you had it with the hookers. Yes, you told him that you loved him, but he felt you were getting bored with him so he went out on dates to be more exciting, more like you. But it made him worse. He wasn't used to this. He was trying to make you happy." House finally sunk in against her arm. "He is truly happy, House. As a person, as a friend. Don't take that away from him. He's not staying in New Jersey very long, but he wanted to apologize to you. He wanted to make it right."
They ascended in the elevator and went to look for his team. They were where they normally were. They were smiling and looking content. But Wilson wasn't there. Felicity wasn't there either.
"Where are they," House asked. He had wanted to sort things out with Wilson, apologize, make things right again.
"They left," Foreman said skeptically as if that was the wrong answer. Taub shifted next to him.
"We thought you knew." And then House limp-sprinted to a window that looked out to the parking lot where he saw Wilson holding his daughter walking to their car. There was no possible way to call out to them, to reach them, to tell them anything. Not in House's condition. He pressed his hand against the window and watched his friend leave again. He saw Felicity's blue eyes, not focused on him. But they were still the flash of blue that had reminded House of himself.
There was never a good bye from Wilson, not this time, not ever. And watching him leave for the second time killed House even worse. He sank to his knees and cried again, cried even worse than before. His team and Cuddy ran to his rescue, but nothing helped. His heart had been torn out, it would've even helped if Wilson had turned back, but he didn't. He never would and House knew that he was smiling; he knew that Wilson was smiling at his perfect life or something like that.
I hope this everyone enjoyed, this was an...interesting experience, I liked writing this even though it made me sad. I really wanted to highlight how human House really was, how his feelings for Wilson were and how he felt about all of this (not that it's very much like the show (: ). Comments are welcome. Thank you very much!