Story: Twenty-Three Days in Harmony

By: Legal Humor

Disclaimer: I do not own Jeepers Creepers. I own my characters.

Chapter 1: Day 0 - The Day Before All Hell Breaks Lose

Embalmer - Harmony Loris Carter
Date - 10/9/10

Deceased - Zane Illus Marther [1943-2010]
Age - 67
Cause of Death [COD] - Cardiovascular disease [Figured out through an autopsy]
Funeral Date - 10/12/10

***Commentary: The following deceased expired on the date of 9/4/10. I received the corpse of Zane Illus Marther two days later at the time and date of 4:24, 9/6/10. The embalming process [36 days] is official labeled complete and therefore will be ready for the funeral on the date above. The funeral will take place at the ceremonial house of Ms. Marthers. After the ceremony is finish the body will be taken to Yale Dales Cemetery where it will be properly buried.

Signed, Harmony Carter


I thoughtfully bit the end of my pen as I read what I wrote four; five times wondering what else I could possibly write. I felt like there was something missing; do I write rest in peace or something at the bottom of my report in remorse for the now departed loved one of the Marthers even if I never knew the man.

At that moment my nose picked up the all to familiar scent of the sweet smelling coppery tint and I slowly dropped my pen and swiveled around in my stool to look upon the lifeless body of Mr. Marther as he lie on a metal table in the middle of my work space. I sighed, closing my eyes drawing in the very tempting scent. I got off the stool and made my way over to the table and stood at its side; observing. Mr. Marthers had a white sheet that covered his body from the top of his stomach down. My eyes at first landed upon his calm face; his wrinkled features, his white brows and hair. I looked further down to analyze the accurate stitching that began at the base of his torso leading down somewhere under the sheet to his abdomen; which was obviously necessary to remove all the appropriate organs and replace it with other 'items'. I placed a finger at the tip of the stitching and gingerly began to run my way down the lining; admiring my work. I immediately averted my eyes back to his face, catching the faint traces of blood building up at the corner of his mouth and finally spilling over his lips. I watched entranced at how the crimson liquid made the journey down his cheeks ever so slowly and-

I frowned at my thoughts and even caught myself slightly leaning over the table; as if about to lick the blood from his cheek. I recoiled, appalled by my urges and quickly backed off reaching for the blood stained towel on my desk to wipe the blood up with. Once the blood was properly cleaned up I covered the body completely with the thin sheet before rolling the table to a certain part of the room. There I pulled open a latch to reveal the small space in which bodies were placed in. I aligned the table parallel to the opened casket-like space; and with that I smoothly slid the table on the space removing the attachable legs as I did so. With that I pushed the body back in and closed the small door; securing the body safely. I rolled the metal legs to the side of my desk; leaving it there. I scooped up all the bloody rags and towels in my arms and proceeded to walk up the stairs, looking back once before flicking off the lights to my basement and emerging from the dark depths. With my right foot I lazily kicked the basement door closed and heard it firmly lock in place. [I had one of those heavy metal doors with the locks and password and everything. Strangely, in this world there are people called body snatchers; the name is exactly for what it implies. I take my job very seriously]. I stomped my way up the stairs [God! I have too many stairs] and walked down the hall to the laundry room where I dropped off my burden and hurriedly stomped back down the stairs.

Oh, forgive me, I bet you all are in a stump. Your probably wondering what the hell are my 'urges'. Well it's only proper that I perhaps start from the beginning; you see for some odd reason I have a thing for meat and well, the smell of blood. Ever since I was little I use to gorge myself with meat and nothing but it. [Maybe not all the time though; I spare myself and health with some different foods]. The whole blood thing wasn't really a problem back then till now; seeing as I'm practically always around dead, bloody things everyday. Anyways, I and many other friends and family, at the time, thought that that was normal [The whole meat thing]. Sadly, as soon as I moved here and got this job [Embalmer] everything began to make a turn for the worst. I'm pretty sure that wanting to literally nibble on your 'patients' isn't anywhere near normal. On top of that weird 'things' began to take effect that I never knew about. Does all of sudden sprouting wings and growing claws/talons fit the bill of being weird and or abnormal?

Once back on the main floor I made my way to my room where I walked over to my computer to turn it on. While waiting I sat in the chair in front of the computer and lifted my right hand before me. I squinted my eyes ever so slightly and used every brain cell imaginable to calm my nerves and concentrate. Slowly but surely black claws began to replace my once trimmed nails, adoring every finger with sharp tipped talons about an inch, give or take. I smiled. I'm getting pretty good at this concentration thing, I thought. All of a sudden a loud whooshing sound erupted from be hide me quickly followed by a loud crash. I abruptly stood up and looked over my shoulder to see black and gray [My wings?] I quickly turned around finding my computer and a vase that use to be on my night stand now on the hard wood floors; broken, shattered and now useless.

"Damn! I lost my concentration," I snarled, my wings on its own angrier flapping be hide me, reacting to my mood.

It was practically inches away from knocking and thus breaking my child. [My precious television] I quickly took deep, even breaths seeing as I was more in control of my wild abilities when calm. I closed my eyes and thought happy thoughts and imagined myself without the additions and sure enough when I opened my eyes and looked over my shoulder; no wings! I looked down at my hands and smiled that they too were talon-free. The 'happy' moment was short lived when I sadly looked upon my ruined possessions. It's a shame I can't close me eyes and imagine that those would magically appear fixed and unscathed.




Or can I.

I hurriedly closed my eyes and counted to three; on three I opened my eyes with a huge smile that instantly decimated into a frown at the items still lying on the floor. I sighed and looked at the computer first; it could be easily replaced. My eyes then landed upon the shattered blue and gold pieces that use to be a vase; sadly that on the other had been a gift from my mother. [Irreplaceable; it was truly one of a kind] She will be highly disappointed when she hears I broke her 200 something dollar gift. Ha, and what is my accuse: 'Uh, yeah my wing knocked it over'.


Authors Note: If there is something you don't understand then please tell me in your review. I know it was probably confusing, sorry! :| Hopefully I can make it up next chapter.