A/N: I do NOT own Skip Beat!
I found this great funny website about the auto correct feature on smart phones and I just had to do a quick story about Kyoko's troubles with it. The title of the story is the same as the website so please do look it up. It's hilarious.
I would like to say that the following are REAL results from the auto correct function. People actually have these mistakes happen to them. I didn't fabricate any of them. Which makes this even more funny. I hope you enjoy. Rated T for language.
Bold = Texting Messages
Italic = Thoughts
Kyoko's never been one for technology. Being raised in an old fashion ryokan, there simply wasn't any top of the line gadgets around. She knows how to use a computer, surf online and look up things. Her school taught her the basics of that so she would never say that she was inept at it. It simply wasn't part of her life. So when the three LoveMe girls were given new smart phones as a replacement, she was a little overwhelmed.
"They are charged and come complete with all the features 3G, text and picture messaging, internet and such. Everything you girls and apparently my teenage daughter "must have"." Sawara sighed as he listed just a few of the things that his daughter mentioned. He was forced to buy one for her and was now paying an atrocious amount on the monthly bills.
"They all have your old number, except for you Mogami-san. Yours is different upon your request. Enjoy and…" Sawara tried to finish but Kanae's voice interrupted him.
"EH! You changed your number again!" Kanae turned towards her best friend annoyed. "You changed it like a month ago?"
Kyoko stammered in a fluster, "I'm sorry, Moko-san! It's that there is a certain someone who keeps getting my new number and he always keeps calling me." A dark and deadly aura shimmered around Kyoko. "That damn demon using his evil powers to get my number," she murmured. Kanae assumed she meant the emo singer and decided to drop the subject.
She rolled her eyes and walked away. "I need to get to my shoot…," she grumbled under her breath.
"Moko-san! I'm sorry. I promise I won't change my number again!" Kyoko yelled after her. Kanae waved her hand dismissively and walked out of sight. Kyoko left for the LoveMe Room with Chiori absentmindedly following as she played with her new phone.
"This is so awesome! I never thought I would have one of these." Chiori's eyes were glued to the flashing screen. Kyoko watched as she blindly started walking towards a potted plant. Fearing for her safety, Kyoko quickly took Chiori's arm and pulled her away from the threatening obstacle only to almost run into a man walking towards them. Kyoko twirled around the man, pushing Chiori back and forth until they were finally cleared.
"Kyoko-san, you're making me mess up, stop it," Chiori huffed as they finally made it safely into the LoveMe room.
"Sorry, Amamiya-san." Kyoko sighed and sat down next to her. Finally able to catch her breath, she peeked over to what Chiori was doing. Chiori's phone went from her contact lists to her Twitter page, she sent out a tweet and then to a little program on her phone that told her about the news of her latest show and then another program, she typed something so quick that Kyoko didn't have time to read it and opened another program… Kyoko got lost the moment she blinked.
"Wow, Amamiya-san, you're very good at this," Kyoko whispered and Chiori paused to look at her.
She waived her hand in dismissal. "Oh, this is nothing. I'm just testing it out and seeing what I can do. I'm so excited. Now I can take this everywhere instead of my notebook. It will make thing so much easier."
Kyoko looked at the opening screen. "There's a notebook in here?" She looked at the basic window of apps and pushed the Note button. A little yellow notepad appeared on her screen with a small keyboard.
"Oh cool." Kyoko smiled and pushed a single key. It did as it promised and typed out that single letter. She pushed a few more of the touch keys. Once she was satisfied, she pushed done and it asked to her to name it and Kyoko frowned. "How do I get out of it?" She didn't want to save it nor did she see a way to get out like a normal computer.
Chiori giggled. "Here let me show you how to use it."
Kyoko spent the next thirty minutes trying to catch everything Chiori was saying. She showed her all the different apps, how to use the camera, the map function, weather, how to download games and music, to add contacts, surf online and make a call and send a text.
"Why does it fill in the word on its own?" Kyoko noticed that Chiori wasn't typing in the whole word, only part of it.
"Oh, that is the autocorrect. It lets you text faster. I love it! It's great and it gets it right most of the time." Chiori finished her lesson on smart phones and soon Kyoko was on her own playing with all the different features.
She had all her contacts in and was eager to call someone. Her hand hovered over Kanae's number, but she was sort of upset about the number change. Kyoko scrolled down her list. She lightly tapped on Chiori's contact name and a smiling picture of her that Chiroi took of herself came up on her phone. Kyoko smiled at the grinning face. That's how she showed her how to use the camera. She returned to her contact list. Chiori took off saying that she needed to head back to Softhat for a new job, so she didn't want to bother her.
Kyoko sighed and then found his number. She tapped on his name and it was very basic with his name and number on a plain blue screen. I could probably use a picture of his from the internet. Kyoko searched for his name and was immediately flooded with millions of images of his handsome face. She scrolled through page after page of his picture, pictures of all his poses and screen shots. She didn't know which to choose. There was one that had him smirking up at the camera with an open red jacket and a simple black tank top with R Mandy's logo on it. Another had him posing with his thumbs on his belt or suspenders with the collar of his shirt showing off a peek of his chest. She blushed as he looked at her with those Emperor eyes.
She closed the app and went back to the simple screen. None of those pictures felt real to her, but she also knew that she could never ask to his face to take his picture for her phone. She would simply be too embarrassed. Though it would be nice to have a personal picture of him. She smiled and lightly caressed his name and the phone started to dial. She hopped up in a panic as the phone rang and quickly slammed her thumb down on the screen. Her thumb hit the speaker phone button and the ringing was now loud and clear to the whole empty LoveMe room.
"No, no, no! Stop ringing! Hang up, Hang up!" She yelled at the phone and finally managed to end the call. She stared at the phone for a moment waiting for the demon lord to come through and punish her for her audacity to call him. Ten minutes passed and nothing happened. She nibbled on her lip. It's going to show that I called him. I should call him back. Her hand hovered over his number. But then I really would be bothering him. She shook her head. I already called him, might as well apologize maybe he won't get angry.
Kyoko called him leaving a very apologetic voice mail on his phone. She let out a sigh of relief and her eyes noticed the time. Her stomach growled angrily now that she was finally done with the flashy distraction. She blushed lightly at the embarrassing sound her body made but was thankful no one was around to hear it. It was a little after one when she went to have lunch.
She sat down at LA Hearts and ordered her meal. The lunch crowd was almost gone so she was alone when suddenly her phone buzzed and shook on the table top. She jumped in surprised and grabbed the phone. On the screen was a semi transparent box.
Tsuruga Ren
I don't mind you calling me, Mogami-san.
Kyoko smiled sweetly at the phone. There were two buttons under the message, close and reply. He must be on break. She thought to herself and pushed closed. She smiled as she found his name on her list and intentionally called his number. It rang once and disconnected. She frowned and looked at her phone. She had signal and the battery was full so why…
Tsuruga Ren
I can't answer my phone right now. They are currently filming a scene.
Kyoko frowned and hit reply. A white screen popped up with the last two texts that he sent in a white bubble. She tapped on the text box and the little keyboard popped up and she typed her first message.
So what are you doing texting me? She hit the send and her little words came up in a green bubble. She smiled to herself. She thought the little keyboard would be difficult to use but the autocorrect really did help out immensely.
I'm not needed right now, and I wanted to respond to your mail.
She smiled. You didn't need to do that. You could have given me anal after you finish with your shoot. She pushed send without a second thought. She set her phone down as the waitress came by with her food.
"Can I get you anything else, Kyoko-chan?" Rin-san, her waitress, smiled at her and Kyoko shook her head and thanked her.
Ren stared at his phone. He blinked at the message and reread it for the twentieth time in less than a minute. He looked around for a moment and then softly whispered the words out loud. He felt his face grow red hot as he read it over again. Given me anal? As in… anal sex? He shook his head and he started to type out his reply but then froze with his thumb over the keypad. What do I say to that? It must be a mistake, but… she hasn't said anything about it. Of course it's a mistake, I'm the only one that would... nevermind.
Mogami-san, I think you mistyped that.
Kyoko's phone buzzed beside her, and she happily set her chopsticks down and looked at the message. She frowned and looked up at the message she wrote before. Her eyes grew into large saucers and her face turned crimson red.
I am so sorry, Tsuruga-san! I thought I typed a call! Mortified that she typed out something so perverted, she continued to type like a maniac. You could have given me A CALL. I didn't mean to type that out.
Ren grinned at the messages and apologies flooding his phone. Then he had to bury his mouth in his hands as he tried desperately not to laugh at the next text.
I swallow! Next was her correction.
I SWEAR!
Ren was bursting at the seams and tears were threatening to fall as he tried to contain his laughter. His thumbs flew over the keypad.
You normally aren't this bad at texting, Mogami-san. Is something wrong?
Kyoko was thumping her head on the table and more than a few patrons in the little restaurant left a little frightened of the girl in hot pink. Her phone buzzed again, and she blushed a deeper red as she read his message.
This time she took her time typing it out. I got a new phone from Sawara-san, and I'm not use to this new touch keypad.
Oh, Yashiro-san mentioned that I was to get a new phone today; however, I haven't had time to customize it yet. So I'm still using my old phone. Is it really that difficult?
Kyoko sighed. No. It's just the touch part. I'll get use to it. I'm sure you will be able to use it without any of my embarrassing mistakes.
Ren snorted at the confidence this girl had for him. I'm sure I'll make my fair share of typos too. Besides, you haven't had a mistake in two texts now. You are already improving. How are you doing today?
She smiled. It's been a simple day. I did some LoveMe work and Amamiya-san showed me how to use the phone. Now I am having lunch. She sent the message and then started a new one.
How is your dick so far? Have you gotten lucky yet?
Ren couldn't help himself and barked out a laugh. He slapped his hand over his mouth and tried to stifle his voice as several people turned to look at who made that sound. His phone flashed and he glanced down to read her next text.
DAY! How is your DAY so far! Have you gotten LUNCH yet? I'm sooo sorry!
Still snickering to himself, he answered her questions. My day was boring until I started talking to you and yes, I've already eaten lunch.
Kyoko didn't have the mind, heart or stomach to eat anymore. She could not believe what she was typing. Her phone buzzed and she fumed at his text. You're so mean, Tsuruga-san! I'm not typing those things on purpose. It's the phone! It's acting smelly!
He looked at the message confused… smelly?
Crazy! Not Smelly! She corrected and then sighed.
I don't mean to be, but it's extremely funny.
She growled to the phone. You wouldn't think it was funny if you were sending those texts to me.
Ren smiled complete absorbed in his conversation with Kyoko. He didn't even notice Yashiro watching him from afar. Sure I would. I know they are mistakes and not to take them seriously. You shouldn't either.
How could she not take it seriously, asking the Tsuruga Ren how his… his… thing was doing? Then telling him he could perform… that on her after his shoot? Her phone buzzed again and she read his next message.
What are you doing for the rest of the day?
She sighed. She didn't want to text anymore. She wanted her old phone back. Still she couldn't ignore him. That would be disrespectful.
Nothing really, there is a LoveMe job I need to finish and then I'm free for the rest of the night.
Ren looked at the clock. It was almost two and with the way things were going he would be free tonight as well. What time do you think you'll be done?
I don't know. Around four, I guess. She answered confused.
Would it be possible for me to convince you to have dinner with me? Ren watched his message send and the confirmation message filled his screen. He pressed his lips together in worry as he waited for her response but nothing came. Perhaps he should have phrased it another way. Lunch was awful today and I was hoping you could cook for me again. I got spoiled with your food as Cain.
Kyoko didn't know what to say or to do. She read his message and couldn't help the implication of his question. It sounded too much like he was asking her out on a dinner date, but that couldn't be possible. Then she got his next message and let out a sound of relief.
Of course, Tsuruga-san! I would love to cook for you tonight. What time do you want me to stop by?
Ren smiled as warm happiness spread through him. He will get to see her tonight. I don't know when I'll be getting off tonight sometime around 6 or 7. Tell me where are you going to be, and I'll pick you up when I'm done here.
Oh no! Please don't trouble yourself. Just call me and I'll come straight over. You'll be so tired after your day of work, you should guest.
She groaned at another mistake. At least this one wasn't perverted. Rest. You should Rest.
He sighed. Mogami-san, please let me do this. It's not a big deal. Are you going to be at home?
Kyoko knew she would never win with him. It would be best to let him pick her up and that way he could get home quicker and she wouldn't get him upset. Okay. You can lick me up and tonight will be my treat since I'm getting laid.
Ren read the message and couldn't help his wicked smile. This time it was not one out of laughter but desire. Oh, he truly did enjoy reading that message.
Deal. We can do that after dinner. Before Ren even knew what he was doing, he typed out that response and sent it to her. He closed his eyes in regret and his phone flashed furiously. A new message came rushing one right after another, and Ren couldn't help but let her continue her bad typing.
PICK. You can Pick me up and I'm getting Paid! Tomorrow I get paid from Box R. There was a short pause as she read his response to her first horrible, horrible message.
After Dinner? What is after dinner? Did you have something sexual planned for after dinner?
SPECIAL! SPECIAL PLANNED.
Tsuruga-san. I'm just going to stop here. I hate this thong.
THING. I hate this thing. I'm going to get my old phone back. I'll talk to you later. Please, please, please ignore this whole conversation. If you do, I'll blow you big time!
OWE! I'll OWE YOU. Never mind.
Ren had to step out of the studio he was hurting. He has never in his whole life seen so many horrible mistakes text messaging. The more flustered she got with her texting the more hilarious mistakes she made. He had to find out what was causing it. He walked up to Yashiro and told him he was going to the restroom. He bought it, but the twinkle in Ren's eye from his held laughter made Yashiro suspicious.
Ren found a secluded space and called Kyoko up.
"Good afternoon, Mogami-san," he said with contained laughter.
"DON'T LAUGH AT ME!" She screamed at the phone. "Do you have any idea how embarrassed I am right now?"
"Oh, I can imagine," he said with a huge grin on his face.
"This is NOT FUNNY, Tsuruga-san! I'm going upstairs right now and returning the phone. I've got a perverted phone."
"Wait, wait. Before you do that, tell me what's happening? I know that you wouldn't type those things." Even if I wish you would. Ren smiled to himself.
"It's the autocorrect feature! I make the smallest of typos, and it would assume something COMPLETELY different. But how it got THOSE words is beyond me!" She huffed. She stopped in a deserted hallway halfway between Sawara's desk and the restaurant and started to pace angrily back and forth.
"That's not even the half of it. I actually caught it trying to do other words too. Thankfully I didn't send those to you."
Ren's curiosity was bugging him. He really wanted to know what they said. "Like what?"
Kyoko blushed. "I'm not going to say those words out loud."
"Text it to me then. You've been saying naughty things to me all this time anyway," he teased.
"Tsuruga-san!" She cried out and he winced but that didn't stop the grin on his face.
"Alright, alright, but hey, is dinner still on for tonight?" He asked sincerely. He truly wanted to see her tonight. He didn't want her to back out of it because of her new phone.
"Only if you promise never to mention that conversation to me or laugh spontaneously when you see me or even think of anything that you read this afternoon ever again for the rest of your life." She pouted. Her cheeks still enflamed by her blunders. How she was ever going to face him, she didn't know but she already said she would cook for him.
"I'll be a perfect gentleman. I'll see you tonight, Mogami-san." He smiled. They said their goodbyes and he ended the call with a smile. He pushed a few buttons, recalled the conversation and reread it. He could spend nights alone with this completely happy. You can lick me up. I'll blow you big time. He smirked. His thoughts went dark, picturing his sweet Kyoko on his bed as he licked her clean. Then after he fills his room with her screams and moans, she would repay the favor. He could almost feel her lips wrapping around his shaft, her sweet little tongue flicking out and…
"Ren," a male voice called out to him and he looked up to see Yashiro calling him over. He coughed and slid his phone back into his pocket and quickly adjusted his sudden erection.
"They need you on set now. Is everything okay?" Yashiro asked. He really didn't know what had gotten into his client and he wasn't able to find out. Everything he could think of to discover Ren's sudden burst of humor would have been too obvious, so he stayed put.
"Everything is fine, Yashiro-san." Ren stepped through the door and back into the studio. Everyone was running around trying to get the next scene up and ready to roll. Yashiro sighed internally and followed Ren when suddenly he stopped and looked at him.
"Actually, Yashiro-san, do you have my new phone on you?"
"No, it's in your dressing room, still in the box. I thought you were going to have it activated later," he answered confused.
"Would you mind getting it activated now? I'll transfer everything over to it on the next break."
"Oh, sure. I'll do that right away." Yashiro took out a surgical glove and left the studio to Ren's dressing room. By the time Ren was done with the next set of scenes, Yashiro had his phone number transferred to the new phone. Ren smiled as he transferred all his information into his new phone.
Ren sighed in frustration as the day didn't end when he was hoping it would. It was almost eight by the time they finished shooting today's scenes. Still even with the additional hour, he really couldn't be upset about it. He needed to drop off Yashiro-san and then head over to Kyoko's. The rest of the night will not be a bad one.
"Good Night, Ren. Please remember, we have a show to do tomorrow at 9 AM and they want us there at 8 for make-up and a small meeting to go over everything."
"Yes, Yashiro-san. I remember. Have a good night and I'll be here bright and early." He smiled and Yashiro walked to his apartment. Ren smiled and pulled out his phone. He quickly pulled up the SMS program and sent Kyoko a little text.
When he arrived to pick her up, she was blushing so hard, her skin looked inside out. He smiled and then schooled his face.
"Are you okay, Mogami-san?" He asked her as she climbed into his car.
Her blush got darker, he didn't even know that was possible, "I'm guessing you got your new phone activated?"
"Yeah, I did. How did you know?" He said as innocently as he could.
"You didn't proofread your text did you?"
"Proofread? I'm very good at texting," He started and took out his phone as he spoke, "I don't think…"
"Just read it, Tsuruga-san." She interrupted him. He pulled the program up and read what he wrote.
Kyoko, I'm on my way there shirtless. I'm sorry it's so late. If it ends up being too late you can always sleep on my crotch. I'm okay with snuggling, but I was thinking of doing something with porn tonight. We'll talk about it. I'll come in you as soon as I can. Ren
Ren blushed lightly and glanced at Kyoko. Kyoko had her phone out and was blushing at the message. "I gather you meant to say" She paused and read off the text, "I'm on my way there Shortly. I'm sorry it's so late. If it ends up being too late you can always sleep on my Couch. I'm okay with…" She paused. She didn't know what that could mean.
"Anything," he answered.
"I'm okay with Anything, but I was thinking of doing something with Corn or Pork tonight. We'll talk about it. I'll come Get you as soon as I can." She finished and then promptly deleted the message. "See… It's not so funny when you send the perverted messages."
He pressed his lips together trying not to laugh. He swallowed. "You are absolutely right, Mogami-san. Can you forgive me?"
Kyoko turned to look at him as his voice sounded hurt and embarrassed. She knew exactly how he felt and that was his first message so he did the same silly mistakes as she did. "It's not your fault Tsuruga-san! It's the perverted phones! I'm just happy to know that now you understand what happened earlier."
"So then if you get another message like that from me again, you won't mind?" He asked.
She blushed. "Well, there is nothing we can really do about it but be mindful of what we type. You are always so busy so don't worry if you send it to me. Just be careful what you send to others."
"That's good to know, Mogami-san. I feel better about sending you those texts now." He smiled a good natured smile at her.
"You make it sound like you did it on purpose, Tsuruga-san." She blushed as she accused him, her eyes never leaving her lap.
"Mogami-san!" He sounded shocked which resulted in the desired emotion from Kyoko. He smiled to himself as he drove off with the sound of her apologies. He's never had a problem with texting, with his old phone or this new one, but she didn't need to know that.