Everything that I lost..

Chapter 1

It is strange how life sometimes changes everything. In a moment you can lose everything and at the same time gain the world. You don't expect things to fall down to your feet. You don't expect to be completely happy or completely sad and angry. Once I had it all..

My life was an easy life. The one that you see in those life style magazines and you wish you could be one of them. I was one of them. I used to be rich. I used to go to those parties that everyone knew who I was. Being wealthy and a child of Raife Davies, my family was well known. I grew up having the most wonderful family in the world. My dad and my mom were the best parents a kid could ask for. Even if my dad was a rock star he was always there for me and my sister. He didn't miss a birthday. As he always said his family was coming first.

When I was 18 year's old and my sister Kyla 16, our world crushed. It was Christmas when our house phone rang and I had to explain to my sister that our parents were not coming to celebrate with us. It was a week before that my mom flew to New York to see my dad and they would come back together so we could celebrate Christmas as a family. I still remember the voice on the phone. 'Miss, your parents were on an accident. I am so sorry to tell you that none of them made it'. I couldn't say anything. How could I? I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to call. I didn't have time to cry. And I think I didn't. Minutes after the phone call it was my dad's manager telling me that he would come to our house in 15 minutes. All I said was a simple yes.

Kyla wasn't home. She was at a friend's house for a sleep over. So I was home alone. Having questions of how and why. In 15 minutes indeed Ethan was home. When I opened the door he hugged me and that was when I cried. I fell into his arms and I let myself cry. Ethan told me what happened. My dad's private jet fell because of a snowing storm. It was winter time and that year we had strong snow blizzards. Ethan was the last one who talked with my dad. He told me that he didn't want to wait. The tower in the airport was saying that they shouldn't fly but my dad wanted to come home to his daughters. Their plane fell into a storm and they fell half an hour after they took off from JFK. I remember looking at Ethan but not understanding what he was saying. My mind was on Kyla. Now that our parents were dead we were all alone. We didn't have any grandparents. My mother had a sister but they didn't keep contact and my father was an only child. Instead of thinking my parents I was thinking my sister's and I's future. I was thinking that they would take my sister away because she was a minor but I realized that I was already 18 and I could be the legal guardian of her. I was thinking that I was a freshman in college and I didn't work. How we would support each other? Everything was coming to me one by one and I didn't take my time to sit down and mourn for my parents. I had to be strong for Kyla. When I told her she was devastated. I held her in my arms all night trying to calm her. Trying to tell her that I was here and nothing would happen. In a day I grew up several years older.

After a week my dad's lawyer called me to tell me that we should go at his office to open his will. It was something that we had to do as much as we didn't like it. When Mr Smith was reading my mind was on my parents. He was reading and in his voice I could hear my dad's words. "I leave all my fortune to my two daughters Ashley and Kyla and to my wife Christine Davies." Since my mother was dead too it was only me and Kyla to manage my dad's money. And I didn't have to work to supply us. The money was enough for a life time.

But it is well known that life continues after a death. And our life sure did. Kyla graduated from high school and I was enjoying my life being at clubs every other night and socialize as every other girl of my age. I didn't do any of that while Kyla was at school. I wanted to be a role model for her. I didn't finish college because there was no need to but Kyla wanted to do something with her life. She managed to be a student of UCLA and I was proud of her. Our relationship was perfect. I was her older sister and she was my little one. I would give the world to her and she knew it. When she was at college then I started doing what I missed. Being a child again. Go to parties and hang out with as many people as I could. Or you can say fuck as many people I could. Boys and girls. I let myself free. I didn't have to worry anymore. Kyla was older now and she could take care of herself and I needed to do the same. And that I did.

Kyla was like my mother. Sweet and a planner. From the other hand I was like my father. Carefree but devoted. Her first Christmas as a college student she brought home her boyfriend. I was surprised. It was her first boyfriend and I was kind of protected. It wasn't that they didn't know who we were. Everyone knew the daughters of Raife Davies. So I was looking at him and I knew he was a fortune hunter. And I wasn't wrong. I knew it the moment I saw him that day that he would be no good. But Kyla thought that I was jealous and I didn't want her to be happy. For a couple of months she stopped talking to me and coming home all because of him. All because of that asshole. He managed to take her away from me. I tried and tried but she made her choice and at some point I stopped.

I haven't heard of her for a year. I didn't know what was happening in her life and as for mine I was a total rebel and bitch. All these years trying to be a parent to my sister got me. I was alone and I was enjoying my life. It was one night after a night out of mine that I saw her waiting outside of our house door. I looked at her and she seemed so tired. It wasn't my Kyla. I wanted to tell her to go away but I couldn't. She was my little sister after all. I let her in and I didn't say anything except when I saw her belly. It wasn't big but I could understand that she was pregnant.

I wanted to say a lot of things but I decided against it. It wasn't the right time and from what I could see she just needed her sister and I could be that to her. Next morning though she told me everything. She lost all her money because of that asshole. I was right from the beginning. All he wanted was her money. She gave him everything till she couldn't pay for her college anymore. And he got her pregnant. She was only 19 year's old. She had a future ahead of her. And that bastard did that to her. She came home because she caught him fucking another girl. That's when she understood everything. And as she told me he didn't know anything of the pregnancy and I was glad that he didn't.

I had my sister back and all I cared for was her and her baby. I stopped going out and I was there for her all through her pregnancy that wasn't easy. When she was four months old she almost lost her baby. The doctors said that for the rest of the pregnancy she had to lie on bed and do nothing if she wanted to give birth to her little girl. That was when we found out what she would have. I was ecstatic. I would be the best aunt in the world. I was preparing the nursery room and I wasn't letting Kyla do anything. I said that I enjoyed being alone but now I could understand that was a lie.

The day that our little girl was ready to come into our world I was nervous but happy as well. Kyla was having some problems during her last months but I didn't want to think more into that. When they took her inside I stayed there waiting together with the other parents. One hour and they were still inside. Two hours and nothing. I was starting to get worry. After three and a half hours I saw her doctor. Let me tell you that he was one of the best. He was covered with blood and I felt my heart beating fast. He told me that our little girl was born healthy but they had some complications with Kyla. They lost her two times inside the OR. They brought her back but she was in a coma. From one side I was happy but from the other side I was crushed. Kyla was in a coma and she didn't even hear her daughter's first cry. My life after that day was a living hell.

I took our baby girl home after three days and I was back to the hospital to see Kyla. Of course she was still in the same condition. I wanted to be there all the time but I couldn't. And I didn't want to leave the baby alone with some stranger. Taking her with me was out of question. I was torn between my sister and my niece. And now I wished I had someone close to me. I wished for my parents to be alive and help me.

Kyla was in a coma and I had a baby in our house. The hospital had my number in case something happened but I had to take care our baby girl. Once again I had to made choices. Months were coming and going and Kyla was still in coma. The expenses were too many because she was at the hospital and I wanted her to have the best treatment possible. Also I had a baby that needed care and the money I had were becoming less and less till I had almost nothing. Ten months after the birth of my niece I got a phone call from the hospital. I was happy that maybe they were calling me to tell me that my sister was awake. But they called me to tell me that I had to make a choice once again. They told me that Kyla would never come back. That her organs were starting not to work and I needed to give an end to her living. How I could make a choice like that? How I could decide to end my sister's life? How I could do that to my niece? But I had to. I had to make the choice again. I left my baby girl with her nanny that I found after a lot of searching and found myself walking as a zombie at the hospital.

The last five months I was every day next to Kyla. Holding her hand and whispering for her to wake up. Now I was the one that had to let her go. I walk to her room and sat right next to her. I held her hand one last time, kissed her cheek and said my sorries and goodbyes. It was the most difficult thing I had to do. I couldn't stay to see the doctors ending her life. I couldn't. And for one more time I had to arrange a family member's funeral. My sister's. Once I was home I run to my baby girl's room to take her in my arms. Up until then she didn't have a name. I was waiting for Kyla to wake up and name her. But now she would never have the chance. And I had to do it. Now it was me and her. Emma..