My Enemy, My Friend?

Fandom: Losers

Pairing: J/C

Rating: T?

Warnings: AU-ness

Archive: Ask

Author: Lily Zen

Notes: This was originally part of a piece that I am working on. However, after weeks of writer's block, I decided to remove this section from the story and take it in a different direction altogether. Still, I think there's some funny shit in this little section and so I thought I would post it. Again, this was part of an AU story I'm writing, so there are some elements of the supernatural in here. Finally, I wrote this before the repeal of DADT, so DADT is still in effect in this.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

The jungle was his archenemy.

Jensen's archenemy was a lack of signal towers (and wasn't it just sad that he'd been listening to Jensen enough to begin using the word 'archenemy' in his head?), but Cougar's archenemy was the jungle. As a sniper, it was imperative that he have higher ground to take aim from. Stuck in the sweltering heat and thick foliage, that was all but impossible. The entire team was wielding machetes and slicing through the overabundant plant life as they headed back from surveying the target.

The heat made him ornery. Not so much the heat, but rather the humidity. He was pouring buckets of sweat down his back and was pretty sure that he stunk to high heaven. His mama would be appalled. Then again, he was with four other men who smelled just as much, so he could hardly distinguish who among them reeked the most. Except he kept catching the faint odor of Fritos, so he was going to lay money down that it was Jensen.

It was over a week since they'd deployed on that clusterfuck of a mission (thank you, shoddy intelligence) and Cougar was getting hungry. Sometimes he could push it off longer than others, but his last feeding had been interrupted (he was so going to pay Pooch back for that) and it was beginning to affect him. Progressively, he'd become irritable, lethargic, and susceptible to illness, then death. In short, they needed to finish the damned assignment and get to civilization stat before Cougar had to make do with what was among them. Which was, oh, them, and some terrorists.

None of those options were particularly appealing. Except maybe Jensen. After he'd had a bath. Pooch was okay too, except Jolene might try to hunt him down and skin him afterward. Cougar thought he might be able to wiggle out of that predicament. He could be very charming when he wanted to. However, Roque and Clay were off limits, because Roque was scary (even to someone like Cougar) and Clay was Roque's (and did he not mention that Roque was scary?). The disturbing shudo-esque relationship that the two men shared, which no one knew anything about because no matter how off the grid they were, they still answered to somebody. Okay, not a lot of somebody's, but still…someone would give a shit out there. Anyway, their quasi-pseudo-non-relationship was weird and involved a lot of bromancing, love-hate, comrades-in-arms shit, but the bottom line was Clay was Roque's. Clay was just too stupid to realize it. Cougar, however, wasn't, and he had no intention of stepping in that pile of shit if he could avoid it.

So if worse came to worse, it was on Jensen to be Cougar's midnight snack. Not that the team's communications expert knew that. No, no one knew what Cougar was. He'd never told anyone aside from his parents, who'd known long before he had. However, Cougar was fairly confident that he could seduce the other man into some rule-breakingly-good sex. Jensen was fairly wild and liked to push the envelope. He'd never come out and stated his preferences—this was still the army, for fuck's sake, and he wasn't a moron—but Cougar had caught him eyeballing other men more than once. This wasn't to say that Jensen was gay—he'd also caught Jensen getting a blowjob in a bathroom once from a rather pretty brunette—but rather that he was flexible in his preferences.

Cougar was a confident man. He looked good and he knew it. He had the skills to live up to his promises in the bedroom; he could hit that shot from two hundred meters away. Confidence was not a thing he lacked. Women and men were attracted to his calm, self-assured nature, and being part incubus added an extra hit of charisma to the package. He'd never had to work very hard at being liked. Most people simply did without his having to put much effort into it at all. When they went out at night on leave, Cougar waited until someone approached him. It was nice, easy prey. He was the flame, and they were moths. In any case, Cougar was pretty positive that he'd be able to entice Jensen into a one-off and if the way he was always bouncing around was any indication, he had plenty of energy to spare.

Even hot and miserable, Jensen was still the goddamn Energizer Bunny. He just kept going and going… It made Cougar tired just watching. He kind of wanted to throw the kid down on the jungle floor right then, dirt be damned, and suck Jensen off just so he'd settle down a bit. The added benefit of this would be that, for Cougar, it'd be the equivalent of a much-needed cup of coffee.

Instead, Cougar put all of that out of his mind and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other and avoiding the branches that seemed to want to hit him in the face. Yet another reason to hate the fucking jungle. They had a job to do though. As soon as they did it, he could go get a decent fuck that wouldn't potentially have ramifications amongst his team members. Carlos spared a moment to wonder to himself if anyone else on the planet had similar problems. Maybe they could get together and commiserate?