Tora-chan: Okay, no procrastination! I can do it! Once again, some reviews wouldn't hurt…
Thor: This human does not possess Bleach or Marvel, or any of the many references made.
Tora-chan: hehe I love the Avengers! Especially Thor, Loki, Hawkeye… and Iron Man… and Captain America… and the Black Widow… oh, and the Hulk! Well, I'll get back to Bleach now!
Gin concluded that 30 minutes moved very slowly, looking up at the clock again for at least the twentieth time. 15 minutes left.
On the other hand, Ulquiorra had concluded that 30 minutes moved very fast, too fast.
Ulquiorra was already starting to feel weird. He couldn't describe it, he just felt different somehow.
He watched the clock move forward with dread.
Ulquiorra suddenly stood up. What was he so nervous about? He felt great. No, he felt wonderful!
Ulquiorra decided he would share this newfound happiness with the other Espada.
He was also feeling generous.
When 30 minutes had finally passed, Gin went to view his masterpiece.
He did not expect said masterpiece to glomp him in the hallway.
"Hiiiiiiiiiiii Gin-chan!" Ulquiorra squealed in a voice that sent shivers through Gin.
Gin attempted to remove the Cuarto Espada from him, but he was holding on pretty tight.
"I wanna do something funnnnn! Wanna come? Wanna come?" Ulquiorra continued to squeal.
"Sure!" Gin answered, hiding his shock. He pulled a camera out of one of his many pockets (who knows when you'll need a camera for blackmail). "Let's go."
Their first victim was Nnoitra (codename Mantis, but don't tell!). As one of Gin's secret agents, which were temporarily disbanded) he had been told some of Gin's plan, but he hadn't expected… well… this.
"Nnoit-chan!" Ulquiorra chirped cheerfully. "Come have some fun! It will be fun!"
"Ummm… I'm afraid I'll have to refuse your offer," Nnoitra tried to get away.
"I refuse your refusal!" Ulquiorra simply responded. (One Piece anybody?)
"But-"Nnoitra started. He didn't finish his sentence because Ulquiorra had already grabbed his arm and dragged him along.
Their crusade paused when the trio ran into Zommari.
"Greeting friends, would you like to join me on my quest to steal all my pumpkin brethren from the clutches of the human?" Zommari asked.
An awkward silence was born as everyone, including Ulquiorra, stared at the eccentric Espada.
This silence was interrupted when Ulquiorra replied, "Your quest isn't as cool as our quest for fun. Pumpkins are stupid."
Zommari let out an offended gasp. "Well then. I'll have you know that pumpkins are an ancient and noble family that are respected, and have been respected for centuries. My great-uncle Sir Pumpkinius sat in the dwellings of the great Napoleon!"
At this point, Zommari realized that his audience had already fled.
He shrugged to himself, and went to share his "wisdom" with others.
"Did you know that my great-nephew twice removed…" He began to an unfortunate fraccion.
Elsewhere in Hueco Mundo, Ulquiorra and his mainly unwilling companions had run into Barragan. Literally.
"Watch where you are going scum!" Barragan hissed. "Have you no respect for royalty?"
Ulquiorra already wide eyes got wider.
"Are you like a queen?"
Barragan's eyes narrowed. "What would give you that idea?"
"You said that you're royalty, so you must be a queen. Or a princess. Duhhh." Ulquiorra defended himself with solid logic.
"What?" That was all Barragan could respond with.
"Well bye bye your majesty, your prince will come for you!" Ulquiorra waved goodbye with a sing-song voice.
They were gone so quickly that Barragan was unsure if he had just been hallucinating. Ulquiorra definitely didn't act like that. Well when hell froze over… wait, wasn't Hueco Mundo technically hell? Barragan looked around. He didn't see any ice…
Szayel was the next to run into the questers. As expected, well expected to Gin and Nnoitra, Ulquiorra started babbling about their quest for fun. Szayel glanced at Ulquiorra, then turned to Gin and asked, "Can I experiment on him?"
"No Pinky!" Gin yelled. With Nnoitra and Ulquiorra, he fled away from the mad scientist.
"That was close" Nnoitra muttered.
The two sighed, then panicked. Where was Ulquiorra?
They frantically began running all around Las Noches, searching for the hyper-active Espada. The two were almost at full-blown panic mode when they heard familiar words.
"Wanna join my quest for fun?" They heard Ulquiorra ask.
"Uhhh what?" The recognizable voice of the Sexta Espada responded.
"He's with Nyan Cat!" Gin shouted to Nnoitra.
"Who?" Nnoitra asked.
"Grimmjow, duh." Gin rolled his eyes (without opening them of course).
When they arrived at the Sexta's room, it appeared that Ulquiorra had gained another quest member. He dragged Grimmjow out of his room.
"Oh, there you guys are" he greeted Nnoitra and Gin.
They had just started walking again, when Aizen started walking towards them.
"Shit," Gin muttered under his breath.
Aizen approached with his usual condescending smile.
"Ahh, Ulquiorra," he began. He never finished his thought, because Ulquiorra interrupted him with his cheerful banter,
"Hey Aizen-chan! I'm on a never-ending quest to save my girlfriend (hehe Link/Xanadir/ Drawn Together?)- I mean for fun! Join us! I like your curl. Why do you only have one?" Ulquiorra babbled.
Aizen's normal placid expression melted off into one of horror.
"Demon!" he shouted. "Kill it, kill it with fire!"
Aizen somehow managed to pull a flaming torch out of his robes and began to chase Ulquiorra with it.
Ulquiorra of course giggled, "Let's play tag! You're it!"
This demented version of tag continued to Ulquiorra's room, where Aizen made the biggest mistake of his life, which was pretty big, because the guy made a lot of mistakes (ex. Trusting Gin, underestimating Ichigo, breaking his glasses, choosing to style his hair how he did, well you get the point).
While waving his torch around, he set fire to Ulquiorra's most prized possession.
Now what is Mr. Bat, you may ask? Mr. Bat is something that even Gin didn't dare to include in his schemes.
He is at a terrifying height of 9 in, and was hand-sewn in the deepest, darkest pits of Uzbekistan.
Basically, he's a plushie bat. One that Ulquiorra was unfathomably attached to.
And right now, he was burning into a pile of ash.
At the sight of his beloved Mr. Bat's untimely demise, Ulquiorra began sobbing hysterically, and attacked Aizen, leaping on to his head and ripping out his hair.
"Get it off, get it off!" Aizen squealed like a little girl.
"Murder! Murder!" Ulquiorra screamed bloody murder.
Gin, Grimmjow, and Nnoitra managed to remove Ulquiorra from Aizen's head with only a few scratches here and there.
Ulquiorra continued hysterically sobbing, until Grimmjow awkwardly shuffled over to him.
"There there" he muttered, patting Ulquiorra's back, who in return, latched himself to the Sexta.
Before Grimmjow could react, Ulquiorra had fallen asleep, therefore trapping Grimmjow until he woke up.
"You got this all on camera, right?" Nnoitra asked Gin.
Gin smiled evilly. "Of course."
"I'm thinking Espada Movie Night tomorrow?" Nnoitra schemed.
"I like how you think Mantis," Gin approved.
"Uhh guys, a little help?" a forgotten Grimmjow called out.
"Hey wanna go on a random and unnecessary visit to the Human World?" Nnoitra asked Gin.
"Sounds perfect!" Gin agreed.
"Wait! Guys, you aren't seriously going to leave me like this, right? GUYS!" Grimmjow yelled to no avail.
"Damn you all," he growled.
Tora-chan: Whoaaaaa, I wrote this super quick! Fastest update ever! Yay me for writing this a day after my last update.
Loki: What an insignificant achievement foolish human.
Tora-chan: *fangirl shriek* LOKIIII! Why don't you say hi to all the nice readers?
Loki: I am Loki of Asgard and I am burdened with glorious purpose!
Tora-chan: Hehe that never gets old! Well, I'll try to make the next update quick too, so review or face Loki's Chitauri army. Peace out girl scout!