Because Kurt isn't female, despite his love of fashion and showtunes. This is something a lot of writers forget: even if they're gay, they're not women. Essentially, men don't really want the same things women do in a relationship. This is my take on it.
As much as Kurt enjoyed the chivalry Blaine was showing him, it was seriously getting annoying, and, frankly, insulting. It was nice when Blaine first pulled out a chair for him, but he continued to do so on every one of their dates, and Kurt didn't appreciate it. The reason guys pulled out chairs for girls was because the girls' skirts would get crumpled in the back otherwise. Kurt, however gay and girlish he may be in demeanor, was still a guy, and there was no way in hell he was going to wear a skirt at any point of his life, not again. The first time had gotten him enough teasings to last him a lifetime, and he wasn't keen on repeating the experience. (It was all Mercedes' idea anyway. She forced him into it.)
There were other acts of chivalry Blaine did that was charming the first time round, but was starting to piss Kurt off. For instance, holding doors open for him. It was getting to the point that Blaine was actually rushing forward and pushing the door open. Kurt seriously just wanted to yell at him, "What the fuck, man?" because seriously, Kurt was capable of opening doors by himself! He didn't need someone to fucking open doors for him all the time!
Kurt wasn't a bitchy brat of a girl who made her boyfriend do everything, from holding her purse to pulling her chair out for her to driving her around everywhere and taking her shopping. Kurt was a guy, and he honestly did not expect Blaine to pick up the tab after lunch all the time, or pay for his movie tickets all the time, or even bring flowers when he picked Kurt up for a date all the fucking time. Kurt wasn't a fucking girl that wanted you to do crap like that. He was a guy, and he had his pride. He wanted to pay sometimes, he wanted to be in control sometimes, he wanted Blaine to stop treating him like a fucking girl!
Kurt was just as much of a romantic as a regular guy like, say, Finn, was. Of course, due to his uncloseted homosexuality, he was perfectly free to express this love for all things romantic without being hindered by any notion of romance being not macho or whatever. But seriously, this was too much. Too fucking much.
One day, when Blaine was sleeping over at Kurt's, they argued about who should get the bed.
"You're a guest," said Kurt. "You sleep on the bed. I've had years of sleeping in this bed."
"No," protested Blaine. "I can't do that. You're my boyfriend, Kurt, and I'm not going to let you sleep on the floor of your own house."
"Well, you're my boyfriend, Blaine, and plus, as a host it would be rude to make a guest sleep on the cold floor," retorted Kurt.
"No, I should sleep on the floor instead because I couldn't bear to see that beautiful, fragile frame of yours sleeping on the hard, unforgiving floor," said Blaine, smiling flirtatiously. Kurt's last strand of patience snapped.
"Goddammit, Blaine," Kurt growled uncharacteristically. "I'm not some fucking doll of a girl that's going to break! I am male, Blaine, I've played fucking football! I've been tackled by some of the hugest fucking guys in McKinley and I haven't broken beyond repair! I was tossed into a fucking dumpster every fucking day for two years without getting so much as a scratch! I've broken bones before and I'm still fucking whole, so please, for five fucking minutes, just stop treating me like I'm going to fall apart at the slightest tremor because I'm not a fucking girl who needs your fucking protection!"
There was silence as Kurt glared at Blaine, huffing in his rage. Blaine stared back in wordless shock. He obviously hadn't seen it coming, and Kurt's ferocity on this matter was probably a big surprise to him. Kurt was unrepentant. He'd said what he meant, what he felt, and he was going to stand his ground.
"I'm sorry," were the first words out of Blaine's mouth. "I never meant– God, I'm so sorry, Kurt. Really, I am. I didn't realize– Shit, I'm really sorry."
"Explain yourself," Kurt demanded quietly, crossing his arms across his chest.
"I'm sorry. It's just–" Blaine sighed. "The last time I was in a real relationship with anyone, it was with a girl. After I figured out, you know, that I was gay, all the guys I knew just wanted a lay, or were still in the closet. So every time we went out, it was made to seem completely platonic." Blaine smiled bitterly.
"This whole chivalry bit worked really well for the girls, and soon it became routine for me. I didn't do the same for the guys I dated because they wanted it kept secret, and any sort of chivalry was bound to get people suspicious, so I dropped it. I guess that when we started dating openly, I was reminded of the girls I used to date, and I was so nervous about our date that I naturally fell back on what my usual routine was for this kind of romantic date. When you had such a great time on that first date, I guess my mind just kept the routine going. Go with the method you know works, you know?"
Blaine ran a hand through his hair with a bitter, self-mocking chuckle. "Whatever. It's over. Go on, Kurt. Do it. Dump my ass to the curb."
Kurt blinked. "What?" he asked, sure he'd misheard. "Why in the name of Finn's Grilled Jesus would I do that?"
Blaine looked at Kurt hopefully. "Usually when a girl explodes in my face, she dumps me right after," he said. Kurt opened his mouth to say something, but Blaine cut him off, "But of course, you're not a girl."
Kurt smiled triumphantly and kissed Blaine softly. "I forgive you. And I'm not going to dump you," he said, smiling. "I'm just warning you not to forget that I'm a guy, too, and you can't treat me like a girl because I will get pissed and castrate you."
Blaine laughed, half-nervous and half-disbelieving.
"I will, you know," added Kurt, grinning mischievously as he poked Blaine in the shoulder.
"I know you will," sighed Blaine. "Now I wish I were a girl. You can't castrate a girl."
Kurt smiled slyly. "Oh, trust me," he said seductively, crawling over to Blaine and straddling him, "you'll be very happy you're male."
Blaine grinned, then moaned. Looks like they'll be sharing the bed tonight then.
Thank God for Kurt's male pride.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own Glee because if I did, you'd know. There'd be a lot more boykissin' going on and less of Rachel bitchin' about some crap that doesn't really matter.
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