Warnings/Disclaimer: Definitely crack, definite OOCness, possibly just a bare hinting of a sprinkle of yaoi if you squint and tilt your head precisely 70 degrees to the left… I own nothing but the crackass idea :D
Ichigo sighed. He now truly thought he knew how his inner Hollow felt like on a daily basis.
Goat-face, Karin, and Yuzu had left to go on an impromptu picnic and were going to be gone for another few hours. Ichigo had opted to stay home because he had had to finish his homework but he had finished that about ten minutes after they'd left. No Hollows were showing up and for that he was semi-grateful. Even Rukia, Renji, and all the other shinigami that frequently came to the real world were gone for some reason or another.
He was absolutely bored out of his mind and even tried talking to Zangetsu but his zanpakatou spirit didn't seem to be in the talking mood since he wasn't dying or anything so he was left lying on his bed, blowing air through his slightly parted lips. Out of different methods of pursing his lips, only about three positions could make his hair move. He sighed. Sheer boredom was not helping any with his sanity.
The orange head rolled over, forgetting he was already on the edge of his bed. The substitute shinigami yelped when he fell off and landed on the floor with a loud crash that would have had his family running to see if he was alright if they were at home. He cursed wildly at the pain of it and then froze when he heard insane laughter in the far corners of his mind.
His Hollow. He'd completely forgotten about him from beside that random thought earlier. The albino duplicate was still suppressed, hidden deep in the furthest reaches of his mind but in certain quiet conditions, like now, Ichigo could hear him. Mostly it was mutters of utter boredom and insults about him but right now it was mirth filled laughter at his face fault on the hard floor under his bedroom carpet.
Ichigo didn't even think about the consequences of going and talking to his inner Hollow. It was just a mindless action that he seized upon the slim chance of escaping his ultimate boredom of all time and he was sure that his albino duplicate wouldn't be too protesting to a lessoning of his own boredom either.
The Vizard immediately fell into his inner world and when he opened his eyes, he jumped backwards in surprise. There was his inner Hollow just a few feet in front of him. Apparently thinking about a specific person or place while entering your inner world could automatically bring you there. That could have been immensely helpful earlier.
His Hollow was equally surprised by their sudden face-to-face encounter and the albino visibly jumped, but he tried to hide it with a cruel sneer. "Well, hello there King. Whatcha doin' down 'ere an' visitin' yer chained horse fer?" His echoing voice and accent was something that Ichigo suddenly found very interesting, probably proof that boredom was indeed affecting his sanity.
Ichigo took that moment to reevaluate what his Hollow had said. Chained horse. And indeed when the orange head looked closer, there were thick black chains shackled to the white form's wrists, ankles, and there was even a thick iron collar around his Hollow's throat that connected to the building he was sitting on, one that Ichigo had never visited before. That clearly signified that it was merely there for the sole purpose of holding the albino there.
Curious, Ichigo stepped forward (completely disregarding his safety) and picked up one of the chains and examined it, plopping down and sitting cross-legged in front of the equally same sitting Hollow in front of him. Each link was at least an inch thick of black metal and it was icy cold. It made his fingers tingle and Ichigo switched the chain from hand to hand while he looked at it so they wouldn't go numb.
He didn't notice his Hollow looking at him with a blank look on his face until he spoke. "Uh…. King? … Wha' th' fuck are ya doin'?"
Ichigo looked up at him and then whistled when the action caused him to temporarily stop switching the icy chain from hand to hand and the lack of motion made his skin go numb. Ichigo hurriedly dropped the chain and started rubbing his hands together to get feeling back in them. "Man, its cold!" He exclaimed with a goofy grin as he blew hot air onto his numb fingers, grimacing as they tingled with uncomfortable pins and needles as warmth seeped back into them.
The albino deadpanned. He didn't know what to say. What the hell was King doing? Was there something wrong with him? He didn't think so because the buildings were still standing and the sky wasn't falling so he was just clueless as to why King had suddenly literally dropped in on him and started examining his restraints.
Ichigo's curiosity skyrocketed at his Hollow's stunned expression and he leaned forward on his hands, peering at the band around the white form's neck. "Is this one as cold?" He questioned, picking up one finger and touching the metal before withdrawing the digit with a light whistle. "Wow, it's freezing. How can you stand it?"
The Hollow was sure Hell had frozen over or something because this was so messed up. The sheer randomness and oddity of it all was making his head spin and his thought process completely shut down in his shock of the simple complicity of this ludicrous meeting.
Ichigo tilted his head to the side curiously when all he got for an answer was the frozen deadpan look from the albino in front of him. He was about to call the Hollow's name to ask what was wrong when he realized he didn't know what it was. He blinked and leaned forward again.
"Hey, you okay?" The orange head waved his hand in front of his 'twin's face. "And by the way, do you have a name?" The orange head inquired, his sanity having not yet returned from under his curiosity. The childlike behavior surely resulted from his boredom.
The Hollow snapped out of his daze when the tan hand waved in front of his face and he flailed briefly, making the chains clink together loudly. The albino form scooted away quickly from his seemingly insane King. "Wha' th' fuck is wrong wit' ya?" He shrieked. He wasn't scared, just unnerved.
Ichigo blinked at him before pouting. The albino blinked. Ichigo pouted.
"I was bored and so I came in here to talk to you because I've heard you muttering about how you're bored all the time so I figured that we could talk to each other to not be bored and then I got distracted by how cold these chains are, and seriously how can you stand them, and then I was about to ask you why you looked so stunned but then I realized you didn't have a name and so I asked what your name was and then you flailed and then we're back to the present." The orange head babbled, switching positions from cross-legged to on his hands and knees in front of the Hollow, their faces incredibly close together and so the Hollow could clearly see his King looking at him with looked like genuine confused innocence.
The albino stared at him until he was certain that Ichigo wouldn't say anything else after that breathless tirade. "…uh, okay. I don' have a name. I've told everybody tha' already." He figured he'd play along with this crazy game otherwise he'd lose what little he had left of his sanity as well. "An' I don' really have a choice wit' th' chains. Not like I can control their temperature or nuthin'. Tha's yer job."
Ichigo blinked at him. "Really? Well then you should have a name. Everybody I know has one so you should too." He paused thoughtfully. "And how would I make the chains warmer?" He mused over this, sitting back into the cross-legged position.
The Hollow was flabbergasted that they were actually having this type of conversation and that it was somewhat civil, if not a little disturbing. "Well either ya can give me one or I'll jus' remain nameless. An' I guess jus' focus…?" Their conversation had two parts apparently: his name and the chain temperature. This was so very messed up.
"Oh okay." Ichigo said simply, closing his eyes as he thought about a name and focused on making the black metal restricting his Hollow no longer icy cold and trying to warm them. "Alright, how about Shirosaki? You know cuz you're basically a white me? And since white is opposite of black, it's appropriate. And are they any warmer?"
The Hollow was dumbfounded that Ichigo actually had spent some time thinking about a proper name and it was appropriate, no matter how unoriginal. "Uh, okay. Shirosaki is good." He blinked, realizing the chains actually were a little warmer and didn't burn like dry ice anymore. "An' they are."
Ichigo beamed. "Oh good." He said simply for both factors before the sudden atmosphere changed in the inner world and the orange head looked up curiously and heard a voice calling to him.
"Oh, it's Yuzu. They must be back." Ichigo realized aloud as he stood up, about to dematerialize back into the read world before he remembered the Hollow who he had just named and made his imprisonment a little more comfortable. "Sorry Shirosaki. I gotta go but I'll be back later to talk, ne? We could both use a little less boredom."
The newly named Hollow blinked before answering. "Uh, sure, no problem King. An' thanks…?" He was sure he'd just lost that little remaining sanity.
Ichigo grinned and waved before he disappeared back into reality, opening his eyes to see Yuzu bending over him. "Hey Yuzu. Sorry I fell asleep. How was your picnic?" He questioned, sitting up and then listening attentively to his little sister babbling about what they had done while they were out.
Back in his inner world, Shirosaki was regarding his chains curiously. They were indeed much warmer, almost heating him, but not burning, and they were looser, no longer digging into his skin every time he moved. He was still bound, but no longer as tightly as before. He grinned tentatively. Maybe talking to his weird-ass insane King some more would make his life a little more comfortable in the future. Then possibly more than that…
So yeah, no plot, just random actual boredom crack :3 I feel confident that its better than the first one ^^ well grammer-wise. There's a whole lot less run-on sentences and its much more comprehensible now :3
Please review again my loves ^^