I do no own Degrassi the next generation

*I will warn you that Eli and Clare are totally out of character in this, but what is the fun of fan fiction if you can't remodel some things ? Also please leave a review if you read my story, otherwise how will I know people are actually reading? It doesn't have to be a critique just tell me what you thought and feel free to leave suggestions. Hope you enjoy!*


I nervously looked at the building I had to enter in five minutes to avoid being punished for too many tardies… Degrassi, it used to be a place where I came to learn, and socialize… It was not ever a place that made my stomach bubble with dread. Not until the day Elijah Goldsworthy started attending. He seems to have it in for me. I guess you could say, I'm being bullied by him. Maybe it's because he can smell the fear on me, maybe it's because he simply wants to make me a millisecond away from peeing my pants every day. Whatever it is he wants to achieve though, he's doing it.

I walked into the school and I looked around the corner before going to my locker. I think today the coast might be clear… finally at least a morning of relief. I spoke too soon though. No sooner than I exhaled I heard a fist pounding the locker beside me, making a loud thud that made me jump. It felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.

"Well well well Saint Clare. You snuck in this morning and you didn't even say hi to me. My feelings are kind of hurt."

"Please not today."

"Please not today? That's what you say every morning. Does it ever work Saint Clare? Why do they call you Saint Clare anyway? Is it because you are a Christian… Is it because you are a virgin?"

"None of your beeswax."

"Ohhh nice one, are you gonna fudge me up later? Are you sick of my sugar?"


"Oh I forgot, you are a saint… So of course you aren't going to fuck me up and you will never get sick of my shit because you'll turn the other cheek… Is that it?"

"I have to go to class now."

"Oh but this was just getting fun sweet cheeks."

"Please move out of my way."

"I'll move when I'm good and mother fucking ready cunt, you don't tell me what to do."

I turned around to try and go the other way but he was quick. He jumped in front of me and continued to block my path in all my attempts to escape him. The tardy bell rang, I was late again… I'm going to be put in detention. I tried pushing the evil boy but it was a useless attempt. He responded by knocking my books from my hands and kicking them before walking off… What did I do to deserve this? I can't remember doing anything wrong to him, he just targeted me. I would tell Mr. Simpson but he loves the donations Eli's parents are giving. He'd never believe me.

I picked up my belongings and went to the bathroom… every morning I'm reduced to tears. I've never felt so helpless, so voiceless and invisible. I guess I just lost my voice somewhere along the way. I couldn't convince my parents to stay together, I couldn't convince my best friend Alli to stay at Degrassi. Everybody I used to hang with is running with a new crowd and there is no room for me. I walk the halls like a fucking ghost, and Eli notices, though I'd rather be completely invisible. Even in the prayer group I'm involuntarily silent. I speak but nobody hears my words.

I walked out of the bathroom and I started to my class. I kept my eyes on the ground, so it's no big surprise that I bumped into somebody. It was Mark Fitzgerald, he's a bully too but he's never bullied me.

"I'm sorry…."

"You're cool just watch where you are going."


I didn't listen to him. I lowered my eyes to the ground once more and went to class that way. Once I arrived there was more embarrassment in store for me. I became visible for a mere moment but not in a good way.

"Ms. Edwards! How gracious of you to join us. Tell me, do you make your own time? Do you make the rules?"

"No ma'am Ms. O, I just…"

"Then why do you think you can be late to my class whenever you feel like it?"

"I'm sorry, I tried to get here I just."

"Don't try, do… Maybe a day's suspension will put a fire under you."

"Please, I'm sorry…"

"To the office."

"That's not fair!"

"To the office young lady or I will buzz for you to be escorted."

"Yes ma'am."

I was like a water balloon… Held together by thin material, but that was the pin, the needle that made me burst into a thousand pieces. I sobbed hard as I walked through the halls to the principal's office. It's not fair! I tried! Nobody cares.

I got into Simpson's office and I sat there wiping my eyes. I couldn't stop my sobbing… It's been building I guess. He handed me a box of tissues and waited for me to calm down before he spoke.

"Clare Edwards… you know you are a good student. Why can't you be on time to Ms. O's class?"

"I try, I swear I do… I try so hard but I always get stopped."

"By who?"

"Eli Goldsworthy."

"Clare lover's play is no excuse."

"It's not like that… He blocks my way and calls me mean things."

"That's a big accusation."

"It's true."

"You have no proof, so drop that silly notion. Now, since you aren't a regular trouble maker I will send you home for today but I won't put it to your record."

"Thank you sir."

"Now go…"

"Yes sir."

I don't want to go home. There I'm not invisible but the light I'm seen under isn't good. My mother is always nagging me since my father left. I would blame it on her emotional state, but it's more than likely caused by her drinking. The only thing I have is my religion. Prayer group is ineffective but church soothes me… I wish it happened more than just on Sundays.


I walked by her locker at the time she is usually there. No Clare. I wonder where she could be. The first time I saw her it's like a light shone down from the heavens… It led me right to her and even since that day I've made it my personal mission to fuck with her every day. It's fun. It's not like I'm actually hurting her. I've never hit her… I don't even hit girls. It's just some harmless play. Adam came up, I didn't even recognize until he spoke.

"She got suspended."


"Clare got suspended."


"Too many tardies to Ms. O's class."

"Ms. O suspended someone? She hardly ever suspends…"

"She must hate Clare then."

"I would have paid to see that. I'll bet she tried to make excuses."

"It was kind of sad actually… When she left the room everybody could hear her crying down the hall."


"Why do you hate her so?"

"I don't hate her; I just love to fuck with her."

"Well, that might not be a good idea."

"Come on, it's not like I'm using her as a punching bag."

"Not a physical one."

"Yeah yeah yeah… I'm going to the Dot to have a latte and a few Black and Milds. You in?"

"Coffee yes, but no smoking this time… My mom caught the scent on my clothes and I had to tell her I walked through a cloud on my way home."

"Fine, no smoking for you, more for me. Let's go dude."