Okay so this would be my fourth story. I needed a little break from what I have been writing because well, sometimes things need to simmer, but i will continue on with them all I swear. This is a story line that's been stuck in my head for a long time and i wanted to put it out there. I'm unbeta'ed. Also why do people send you an inbox message to read their story if they never bothered to read mine? I will never understand the logic behind that. I have tried to correct any errors I see, hope you like it reviews are lovely!

CHAPTER 1

It was a big night. We had a sold out stadium in Toronto Canada, packed with thousands of screaming fans. I wish the screaming fans could drown out the screams coming from a certain dressing room of a certain band member. But that would be too much to ask for, wouldn't it?

Emmett and Jasper were already on the stage preparing their instruments, but Edward could not been seen, but definitely heard. Just stick something in my eardrums now I pleaded internally. Begrudgingly, I knocked on the dressing room door.

"YES EDWARD YES JUST LIKE THAT" You could hear Tanya's screams from the other side of the door

I cringed just thinking about what was going on in there. I knocked again, hoping this time someone would answer me.

"Fuck Edward I'm going to come!" She screeched and I wanted to vomit

"Edward, get the hell out here. The show is going to start in less than five minutes and I haven't even got to look you over." I yelled through the door

"I'm coming Bella, just give me a minute." He groaned back

I rolled my eyes. Yea he would be coming alright, but not in the sense that made me comfortable. I walked away toward Emmett.

"Can you get him out of there. I'm not in the mood for his bullshit tonight." I growled at Emmett

"I'm on it B." Emmett winked at me and began to bang on the dressing room door

"You really should cut him a break. It's been what? 24 hours since he last saw her." Jasper joked

I gave him the look of death while he gave me an innocent smile.

"Oh baby come here." Jasper tried to grab me, but I playfully pushed him away

"I'm just tired Jazz. I haven't slept in days." I grumbled

"Well after this concert, we are free for a week. We could go to Jacksonville and visit your folks. I know Masen would love that." He grabbed my face between his hands and kissed my forehead.

I instantly relaxed from the notion. Jasper always seemed to have a calming effect on me.

"I love you, you know that right?" I looked up at the handsome blonde

"I know." He winked and walked away

I sighed and looked through the pages on my clipboard for the ninetieth time. I knew everything would go fine, it always did. It had been almost a month since we had a break and I just missed real life. Living on a tour bus isn't the dream it seems to be, but at least I got to do it with the men I loved, especially Masen.

My sweet, sweet Masen. His birthday was tomorrow and Jasper and Emmett had planned a nice day out for him, just the guys. He was with Rose tonight. She mentioned something about bowling, that actually sounded pretty terrific, too bad I was stuck here.

Rustling behind me, brought me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see a cheesy smile planted across Edward Cullen's face. I rolled my eyes just knowing how it got there.

"You do this to me all the time, I'm going to start banning her from backstage." I warned

"You been saying that for like the last year and still here she is." He laughed

"Don't play with me tonight Cullen, I'm still pissed at you." I poked him in the chest

"How can you be pissed at me, I told you, it wasn't my idea. It was all Masen." He played innocent

"Are you kidding me? He's 6 years old! You're 25! Please explain how my 6 year old son convinced you to steal my bra and hang it on the antenna of the tour bus. Sometimes I wonder who is more mature." I threw my hands in the air in frustration

"Its all in fun, how about I use my boxers next time?" He smiled hitting my chin with his finger

"Get on the stage." I pushed him toward the opening

"I bet you want me to get on more than that." He wagged his eyebrows

"Edward, I swear, if you don't get away from me right now..." I gave him my no nonsense stare

"I'm going , I'm going." He fiend surrender

Once he was on stage in front of his mic I knew I could relax. I leaned against the wall and blew out a sigh of relief. Strolling over to me was none other than Tanya aka slut aka groupie aka Edward's fiancee.

She was the bitch of the worst kind. How Edward found anything appealing about her, I was clueless. Her constant attitude toward everyone was starting to really piss me off.

"Sorry I kept him from you." She said smugly

"No you're not." I glared at her

"Yea, you're right, I'm not." She gave an evil laugh

"Doesn't his career mean anything to you or is it just that hard to keep your legs closed?" I mocked at her

"His career is important to me, that's why I make sure he thoroughly fucked before every show." She wrinkled her nose at me

"I really don't know what he sees in you." I muttered under my breath

"Like wise." She said sarcastically swaying her hips away from me.

If you only knew
I'm hanging by a thread
The web I spin for you
If you only knew
I'd sacrifice my beating
Heart before I lose you
I still hold onto the letters
You returned
I swear I've lived and learned

The words echoed across the stadium. Edward's voice making women swoon all over the place. I had to admit, he could sing and it was always one of the things that drew me to him. His silky tone matched with sexy looks. God I need to get a grip!

We had known each other since we were 12 years old living in Forks Washington. Emmett, Jasper, Rose, Edward, and me had all been friends for so long growing up in a small town with big town dreams. Edward was the lead singer, while Jasper was the bass guitarist, Emmett the drummer, and James their keyboardist. They called themselves The Twilight Saga.

We got our big break in the summer of 2006, when the guys were playing an event for charity, which happened to be for a huge producer and he loved their style and had them signing a contract the following week. I had been their manager from the start. Later on we would meet Alice, who we haven't been able to lose since.

Alice was the band's Representative and Jasper's girlfriend. Not to mention one of my best friends. She was amazing in every sense, we would be lost without her. However Tanya would be like the enigma that just wouldn't go away. Fortunately for me, she would not be heading back with us, she had a flight to catch. Yes Tanya. She was a singer also, not as big as Edward and the guys, but her career was taking off.

The guys wrapped up their second set and said goodnight to Toronto. After all equipment was cleaned up and everyone was on the bus, it was time to head to the hotel and relax. We had nonstop gigs for the last month and a little rest was well needed.

"Mommy!" Screeched my son who was running full speed into me

"Masen, what are you still doing up?" I laughed wrapping my arms around his small body

"I missed you so much, I wanted to wait for you to come back." He gave me a heart clenching smile

"I missed you too baby, now off to bed with you. Where you good for auntie Rose?" I asked as he climbed into his bed.

"Yes I was a good boy. Tomorrow is my birthday Edward promised he would buy me a really big gift." He yawned as I tucked him in

"Did he now?" I kissed his forehead

"Yup. Edward is my best friend mommy." He looked at me with big brownish green eyes

"I know Masen, now close your eyes and go to bed." I smoothed my hand over his cheek and he nodded

I closed the adjoining door to my suite and plopped down on the couch next to Rose who was half asleep herself.

"Thanks for entertaining him for me." I sighed leaning my head against the soft cushions

"He's my godson its the least I can do." She smiled sitting up

"You should go see Emmett, I know he is dying to see you." I laughed holding the bridge of my nose.

"Of course he is." She smirked, trying to gain her balance getting off the couch.

"That belly is getting bigger and bigger, watch out where you put that thing." I teased my 7 month pregnant friend

"Yea that's what I tell my damn husband, but does he listen? No, he thinks we need to fuck as much as possible before the baby comes. I could kick his ass. He lucky he is so hot." She giggled

"Rose, that's my brother you are talking about, its gross." I made a face and she stuck out her tongue.

"Was Tanya there?" She looked at me with disgust

"Unfortunately and she made her presence known." I let out a ragged breath

"It should have been you Bells" Rose gave me that please confess your undying love look

"No, it shouldn't have. Things are the way they are. Just drop it okay." I said firmly

"Whatever." She mocked and walked out of the hotel room.

Giving thought to a relationship with Edward was like giving thought to cutting your own hair. You want to do it, but you know it will turn out terrible. Not that he was a bad guy, he just was a lead singer for a band and I had no intentions of being his groupie. Oh did I mention he's engaged?

I flopped back on the couch trying to get comfortable. It was too far to my bed and I just needed to relax for a minute. Barely three minutes later there was a tapping on my door. I groaned and pulled myself off the couch. Maybe Rose forgot something.

I looked through the peep hole to see a head of bronze hair looking awkward standing in the hall way. I flung the door open and Edward greeted me with a smile.

"Hey I was just wondering if Masen was still awake." He stood there with his hands in his pockets

"I just tucked him in."

"Oh, that's too bad." He nodded

"Do you want to come in?" I gestured with my hand

"Um sure, why not." He strolled into the suite

"I was about to get ready for bed, but if you want to hang out for a minute that's okay too." I bit my lip

"I don't want to intrude on your beauty sleep Bella I really just wanted to see Masen before I went to bed." Edward shifted his feet on the floor

"Well you know where his room is." I motioned my hand toward the closed door

He nodded and proceeded to open the door. I walked into my room and began to change for bed. Edward and Masen were like two peas in a pod, always together, always doing something incredibly immature. From a six year old its expected, but from Edward? Well he really wasn't my problem anymore.

After changing into something more comfortable, I fell onto my bed and drifted off to sleep. Something woke me up and I chanced a look at the clock, it was 4:12am. I decided to go check on my son and saw the most amazing site ever. Edward was sound asleep holding Masen in his arms

Not this this was anything new. Anytime Tanya was gone, I found Edward in bed with my son, but not in a perverted kind of way. It was sweet, like he belonged with us, with him.. That thought was dismissed immediately.

I kissed them both on the forehead and closed the door to the room. I scurried back to my own room and fell back into a wondrous sleep. I was awoken by a small child jumping on my bed giggling.

"Mommy! Mommy! Do you know what day it is!" Masen screamed excitedly

"Um, no I have no idea." I fend innocence

"Its March 15! I'm 7 years old today!" He jumped higher giggling

"Oh I completely forgot!" I smacked my forehead

He stopped jumping and crawled into my lap, holding my face between his hands.

"Not uh, you didn't forget, you are being silly mommy!" He gave me a big toothy grin

"Am I?" I grabbed him and tickled him

He squirmed and laughed the entire time and I looked up at the door way to see a smiling Edward, leaning casual in a pair of blue jeans and a tee shirt. God that looked good on him.

"I got a big surprise for you." I smiled at my son.

"Really? What is it!" He screeched

"Go in the closet, you will see." I smacked his bottom has he jumped off the bed

He pulled the large wrapped package from the closet with help of Edward and he dragged it to the bed, sitting in my lap. Edward sat beside our feet.

"This is huge mommy, what is it?" Masen looked up at me

"Open it." I grinned

He gave me a quick grin and tore open the gift. It was a wrestling ring he had saw on television that he had been asking for, for months.

"This is so cool, thank you!" He turned and enveloper me in a huge hug.

"You're welcome baby." I smiled happily at him

"Edward will you play with me?" He looked up at Edward with his big eyes

"You know it dude." Edward smirked ruffling up Masen's hair

"Let's go!" Masen jumped off the bed, handing the package to Edward

Edward shook his head and got off the bed holding the package into the other room. They spent most of the morning playing with the wrestling ring on the floor of the suite. I spent the morning cleaning and packing up our things. We were leaving tomorrow for Florida to spend time with my parents who had retired down there.

Around noon Jasper and Emmett came to take Masen out for the day, to do men things. Edward joined them. I however spent the afternoon with my girls, Rose and Alice.

We were sitting in the spa downstairs in the hotel having our toes painted and nails done.

"I'm so thankful we are finally getting downtime, even if its only a week." Alice sighed in her chair

"Me too, being pregnant and on a tour bus cramps my style." Rose sighed

"My parents will be thrilled to have their grand child back." I laughed

"Poor Masen, this must be rough on him." Alice let out a deep sigh

"I feel like the world's worst mother sometimes. Who does that to their kid?" I shook my head

"Bella." Rose touched my hand "You are doing an amazing job with that boy, don't ever think you aren't." She gave me a thoughtful look

"Maybe I should just leave him in Florida, let him go to school like a normal kid and have friends to play with. I'm taking so much away so I can live out my dreams, but what about his?" I could feel the tears building in my eyes

"Listen to me." Rose said in her stern voice

"You spend every moment with him that you can and you don't leave the parenting to someone else. You are involved full time with that kid and believe me, he will thank you for it later. Plus you have all of us to help you. Even better he will have a little cousin soon that he can bond with." Rose winked and leaned back into her chair

"I suppose your right." I huffed

"Are you ever going to tell him?" Rose leaned to the side looking at me

"Seven years as passed since then, why tell him now? It will only complicate things." I looked up at the ceiling

"I think he deserves to know. Wouldn't you want to know if you were in his position?" Alice chimed in

"In his position?" I mocked sarcastically

"He is at the prime of his life right now, a kid would only complicate stuff." I crossed my arms over my chest

"Or maybe it would make them better?' Rose chastised

"I'll think about it." I shooed the girl who was painting my toes and stood up

"Where are you going?" Alice asked

"I need to clear my head." I waddled off

I slipped on the flip flops they provided and went to head back to my room when I noticed a magazine stand. On the cover was a picture of Edward and Tanya kissing passionately. It must have been taken in Vancouver last week. Seeing them in person was torturous enough, but to see it plastered over every magazine, well lets say if a heart could break in a million pieces mine just did.

I moved quickly to the elevator and hit the button for my floor. Once I was in the safety of my suite, I climbed on my bed and cried. How was it after all these years Edward Cullen still got to me? My weeping turned into snoring and the next thing I knew it was time to get ready for Masen's birthday party.

Jasper promised to keep him occupied while we made sure all the arrangements were made for the small party. We had rented out the hall of the hotel in a wrestling theme and even got John Cena, Masen's favorite Wrestler to make an appearance. It also didn't hurt that Alice knew his publishest.

A lot of the roadies and member of the crew had kids of their own and we invited them all considering Masen was friends with a lot of them. A lot of people bring their families with them, surprisingly. Everyone was having a great time running around with championship belts on. Alice even was able to get a wrestling ring put in.

"This turned out great Bella, you amaze me as always." Edward said coming to stand next to me as I leaned against the wall with a drink in my hand watching the kids play.

"Thanks, Alice gets most of the credit. She is the one who is great under pressure." I laughed

"Yes she is. But she doesn't get the credit for your perfect little guy. That's all you." He rubbed my shoulder

For a minute I felt I could confess my sins and all would be forgiven. That this man by my side loved me.

"It's really messed up his asshole father couldn't be here." Edward gritted his teeth

Suddenly guilt wept over me.

"Its not important, he as all of you." I tried to sound even toned

"Every little boy needs his father Bella or even a father in some cases. Its been too long since you dated, maybe you need to get back out there. James seems to like you." Edward suggested

I wanted to tear his eyes out at the moment. How dare he suggest such a thing? Did he not know my feelings for him? Well apparently he didn't because I never bothered to express them. I huffed and walked away without another word.

James? Did he really just suggest James? Of all people I would never date it had to be him. He was the world's biggest womanizer. He was good looking blonde hair hazel eyes, toned body. Yes definitely good looking, but not the type of guy I could fall for. No nobody seemed good enough, not better than Edward, but that was a ship sailing off the coast. He's engaged to that irate blonde bitch.

Deep breathes now, deep breathes. I walked over to where Emmett was sitting with Rose and took a seat opposite of them.

"You enjoying yourself?" Rose asked sipping her soda.

"Just as much as going to the dentist." I gritted

"Oh boy, that's my cue." Emmett stood and walked away

"What happened?" Rose sipped through her straw

"He actually suggested I date James." I threw my hands up in the air slumping back

"Did he now?" Rose sly voice commented

"I just don't get him sometimes, I mean seriously, I'm like totally into him and he's so so..." I couldn't even finish my thought

"Clueless?" Rose interjected

"Yes." I sighed in defeat

"The only way he is ever going to know is if you open up and tell him, other wise, clueless he will always be. Are you going to wait until he is walking bitchily down the aisle before you confess your love to him?" She pointed her finger at me

"Rose, I mean, he's happy with her. Believe me I've heard how happy she makes him." I rolled my eyes

"But I bet you could actually make him happier. He loves Masen Bella, he is fantastic with him. Plus.." She lazily gestured her fingers in the air

"No Rose, no." I stomped my foot on the floor

"Time to cut the cake!" Masen jumped infront of me breaking my conversation, but I was more than welcoming the distraction.

I stood and he dragged me over to where the cake was, placing himself in the chair infront of it so he was eye level. There were eight candles glowing on the cake.

"Okay everyone on the count of three" Alice said sweetly

"Wait!" Masen put his little hands in the air and searched the room

"What's wrong baby?" I asked looking concerned at my son

"Where's Edward, he needs to be here too." Masen scrunched up his little eyes searching the crowd

"I'm here buddy." Edward came from behind us, placing his hand on my shoulder and his other arm around Masen's waist to steady him.

"Okay Auntie Ali, go for it!" Masen pointed his finger at her

She winked and smiled at me and everyone began to sing. Then it was Masen's turned to blow out the candles.

"What did you wish for?" Alice asked kneeling infront of him when Edward lowered him from the chair

"I can't tell you or it won't come true silly woman." He shook his head and took his piece of cake

"Kids." Alice giggled walking away

After the party was over, Edward carried Masen up to the room and laid his unconscious body in his bed. I watched them through the crack of the door as Edward patted his cheek. Masen stirred and grabbed Edward's hand, opening his eyes.

"I had a great birthday Edward." He smiled sleepily at him

"I'm glad little buddy and tomorrow you get to see grandma and grandpa." Edward cooed

"You know what I wished for?" Masen looked up at Edward

"What?" Edward asked

"That you could be my daddy."

I gasped and Edward turned his head to see me standing in the crack. I quickly moved to my bedroom and closed the door. I once again collapsed on the bed in tears...

Thoughts? Suggestions? This will not be a long story, but I kind of loved the idea, let me know what you think... Also I stole lyrics from Shine down, if you only knew. I will steal a lot of people's songs lol for my little band, but I will always give credit to those who deserve it!