Well this is it... My very first piece of work. I'm kind of happy how the whole idea flowed straight out of my head and I think it'll form a nice base to get used to the personalities i'm giving the three main characters in the story as well as get an idea for what they actually would carry with them on their long journeys. (Yeah right just a jacket. Umad?)
Since it's the first chapter of my first story, I'll be taking any and all advices gladly. What would you have included? What would you have changed? Be nice, punctuate and most of all be constructive and I might just make something nice out of this.
This will be a Matthew/Karis story inspired by TheOneAndOnlyT's The Angel and the Slayer (Amazing story, check it out!). I've seen a lot of Matthew/Sveta stories so far but that one just doesn't appeal to me. She's a nice character, don't hate, but it's just not the same as good 'ol childhood pairing.
Have fun reading this – if it's possible!
Chapter 1: Glimmer of Hope.
Something was off. Everywhere around the young adepts, figures were moving in the shadows. Were they monsters? Cave inhabitants? Simple wildlife?
It didn't matter to Tyrell at any rate - He had found his limit of patience of them scuffling in the shadows. He yelled through the cave, raised sword in his right hand and a fireball in his left.
"Come out already! I'll burn you down days before we will ever play along in hide and seek!" he yelled. Matthew glared at Tyrell scornfully, which he noticed, but chose to ignore.
Nothing happened though, the figures had ceased moving altogether after Tyrell yelled out and as the young adepts came closer, what they thought had been alive turned out to be mere stones, boulders and walls within this dreadfully large cave that they have been in for the past three hours.
"This can't be a good sign. I just don't like the feeling of this. What do you think?" Karis asked. But neither of her friends could really answer that question. All Matthew could do was to keep them going, so he turned around to his friends, and with a nod, resumed their attempts at finding the cave exit.
Yet no avail, the young adepts continued walking for several hours, passing through areas they have been before and caves they could swear not a soul would have ever seen before. But not an exit to be found. Eventually, the adepts' internal clocks cried for the mercy of rest. Especially Tyrell seemed awfully tired. The group had relied on him for a light source the entire time and the fire adepts' psynergy reserves were waning away as he depleted his strength in order to maintain vision.
Without warning, Matthew turned around. He inspected his two friends with a distinctly disappointed frown. Karis and Tyrell both stopped their march behind their leader wondering exactly why he had stopped. Whilst Tyrell looked away, inspecting one of the many dark side routes they had already passed and had no idea where those would lead, Karis stared right into Matthews concerned yet vibrant eyes, his shadow flickered against a wall behind him next to hers. Tyrell's would be on the wall behind them since he was third in the line.
Then she realized what Matthew already knew.
They had hit a dead end once more. A large stone wall, was blocking their path.
Matthew sighed, looking over his friends towards where they had come from as he spoke: "It should be night outside right now... Unless you've got a clue, Karis, I say we use this small dead end as a campsite." He looked down at the wind adept and, not to his surprise, she turned her head the other way. She knew it as well. Tyrell was much too drained to be of much tactical help, if he ever was. So it was down to the two of them to plan their movements. Yet neither had a clue, so all she could do was silently look away and in such, admit not knowing how to proceed.
Matthew sighed, and it became silent for a few moments. "Let's setup camp here then. Karis, you put down the tents whilest I look for anything left over in he cave around this part, maybe I can make some kind of small wall to ward monsters. There were plenty of decently sized stones back there. Tyrell, you just rest, light one of the candles if you can't keep it up anymore. Just be carefull. We're already down to the last three." To that, Karis nodded, and Tyrell grunted as if Matthew just belittled his best friend. They were silent for a moment, as if waiting on Matthew to continue neither Karis nor Tyrell spoke a word. But a few seconds later Karis turned around with a sigh, and dropped her bag from her back.
The boys dropped their bags aswell, Tyrell took a seat against the wall of the dead end, taking a well earned rest as Karis began unpacking their bags, placing the various items in the corner and then began assembling the tent with the components from everyone's bags in the left corner, two meters from Tyrell.
Matthew nodded and turned around. As he walked away he waved behind him saying: "I'll be back in a bit with something useful. Don't go eating dinner without me." He traversed back into the darkness, his yellow scarf the last thing either could see before he dissappeared. Long had Matthew been training his psynergy. And since some time he could use it to guide his steps. Unfortunately he was too inexperienced to find the exit at this distance. He could only plan his steps close to him.
In the meantime, Tyrell had lit one of the candles and placed it in the middle of their little hideaway, as he munched on a piece of bread that he took out of his personal provisions. He glanced at Karis as he ripped off another piece of the bread loaf. Her shadow danced across the wall as she secured the tents base.
Tyrell stared at her - her features were showing off in the light and she looked quite pretty in this light. Her body has been forming nicely and though she'd not win a beauty queen, she was definitely a good looking girl. These thoughts raced through Tyrell's head as he realized just how much she had grown up over time. They had known each other since they were but baby's. And despite her growing up so much he never really did look at her as a girl. But after a full month of traveling the land, Tyrell noticed that this was despite it all, still the case.
The fire adept rested his head against the rocky wall, muttering as he hit a small jut of rock instead of the vertical wall he was expecting. As he broke it off, smoothing the wall behind him, he muttered to himself. But Karis had good ears.
She turned her head from securing the last part of the tent, still squatted down as she looked at Tyrell with a curious look. "Talking to the wall Tyrell? Or plotting with the monsters?" She said, a giggle following.
Tyrell turned around and unexpectedly kept his cool as he spoke brashly and quickly, but without forethought.
"Nah. Talking with some ghosts. They're nice guys, told us we're doomed and everything. That death is coming to claim us and that this place has worse things than even demons..." He grinned wildly, almost looking like a maniac. Mission success it seemed as Karis was taken aback, he could see fear fluttering through her eyes as he mentally hit his own face, wondering why he had gone so far as to scare her for no reason but his pride. After a moment of silence he spoke up in an attempt to fix the damage.
"I'm joking. I'm just joking. Geez, whats with that look when I'm talking about ghosts!
A smile returned to her face, it was clearly faked but the fact that she went to the effort to do so meant Tyrell had indeed managed to save a bad case of fear. He sighed, laying his head back on the wall as he took another bite from the bread loaf.
Then he realized, none of them had stopped growing up. They were all getting older, and more mature by the years. Except for their parents maybe - though he still did not get all that Golden Sun effect talk. The fire adept relaxed against the wall, ready to take a small nap as Karis got the dead end ready to serve as a campsite.
And that was it... For the first chapter. I've got two more written and undergoing rewrites and spell checks. I'll be changing them according to the sanest advice you guys give me!
What I especially need right now, is some advice on conversations. Personally I'm as direct as a bullet, no jibber jabber b******t whatsoever. That makes writing longer conversations extremely hard for me since I am unable to put myself into that situation properly.
Any and all advice is welcomed on this topic.