FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

Token and Clyde patted a depressed Craig on the back. "It's okay, dude." Clyde soothed. Tweek raised an eyebrow and walked over to where Wendy was sitting. He ignored the angry looks he got from her friends. "It's cause you're a lesbian, right?" Tweek asked bluntly.

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

Craig dialed the number, looking at a sleeping Tweek, feeling hatred bubble up as he noted the tear tracks. "Hello?"

"Seven days," he hissed before hanging up.

FRIENDS: Will help you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Will keep on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

Tweek fell, tripping over his own feet. Token helped him up as Craig walked by. "Walk, spaz, it's not that hard." He commented.

FRIENDS: Will help you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap him and brings him to you.

Craig sighed. Token and Clyde had signed him up for dozens of dating sites and still nothing. He walked into his bedroom and froze as he saw Tweek adjust the crown on a bound and unconscious Kenny's head.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry.

Tweek cried softly, ignoring Clyde who continued to hug him. "Hey," Craig suddenly spoke "Token, let me borrow your car." They looked up to see a smirking Craig holding a shovel, with a large, moving bag at his feet.

FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

The blonde sipped at the soda Token had gotten him, wishing he had coffee. Craig smirked. "Can I have some?" without a second thought, Tweek poured the sticky liquid all over him.

FRIENDS: Will give you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Will take yours and run.

Clyde handed Craig his umbrella. Tweek kicked Craig in the leg and took it, running down the street.

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

Tweek drove quickly, taking as many back roads as he could. Craig stayed silent, thinking about the bodies stowed in the trunk.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

As they waited for Token to come and bail them out, Tweek tried to ignore Craig's shouts of "Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

"You want something to eat?" Tweek asked, munching on an piece of cake, knowing Clyde and Token were to polite to ask.

"Damn Tweek," Craig said suddenly. "Stop offering them my food, we keep running out."

FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

"Hello, Mrs. Tweak." Token said, smiling at her.

"Hey, Mom, we're out of dip." Craig called from the other room.

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

Although he knew Token and Clyde had never seen the almighty Craig Tucker cry and he knew he should feel privileged, it never stopped Tweek from mocking him when they were alone.

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Ask you to write down their number.

"So, Craig," Wendy said, smiling at him sweetly. "Can I have your number?" The boy opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted as a skinny blonde threw himself onto Craig's back.

"Hey," Tweek said bluntly. "Write down mine too, I lost yours."

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give them back.
BEST FRIENDS: Lose your stuff and tell you, "My's a tissue."

Tweek collected the books he had leant to his friends and turned to Craig expectantly. He shrugged and threw Tweek a napkin. "Lost it, here, have a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

"And Craig Tucker remained un-potty trained." Tweek said, continuing with his best friend's biography. Craig blushed as the entire class began to learn facts about Craig Tucker they had NEVER wanted to know.

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

Craig cracked his knuckles as he faced the crowd. He hefted up the baseball bat and smirked. "It's ass kicking time." He stated before turning to Token and Clyde. "You guys are first."

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."

Token knocked on the door, waiting for Craig to answer. Tweek pushed him and Clyde aside, flinging open the door. "I'm home!" he yelled

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

As Tweek stood outside with Craig, ignoring the rain that pelted them both, he hugged his best friend tightly. "I won't tell anyone." He commented. Craig hugged him back.

"I know you won't"

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life

Craig Tucker had lost touch with Token and Clyde in college, but, as he watched Tweek walk towards him, he was glad the only one who mattered had stayed.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say, "Drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

Tweek called out to a drunken Craig, slurring his words. "Finish 'er 'ah will!" Without a second thought, Craig downed the last of his whiskey.

FRIENDS: Will help you find your way when you're lost.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with your compass, stealing your map and giving you bad directions.

While Token tried to direct his friends' home over the phone, Tweek smirked as he flipped the map over, grinning as he called out fake directions.

FRIENDS: Will help you learn to drive.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance.

"Clyde taught me how to drive," Tweek said as he unbuckled. Craig nodded and did the same.

"That was cool of him. On the count of three?" Tweek nodded. Craig began to count as they neared the lake. They opened the door and tumbled out, watching Tweek's hand-me-down Chevy drive into the water.

FRIENDS: Will watch your pets when you go away.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't let you go away.

"Hey, Clyde will you watch Stripe for me?" Craig asked, handing his friend his beloved pet.

"Sure, Craig"

"Thanks, dude." He sighed deeply and looked at his legs where Tweek was sitting, holding on for dear life. "Fuck, Tweek! Let go of me!"


FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with you.

Token and Clyde are probably waiting for the concert to start, Craig mused, glancing to the backseat where Tweek cuddled the unconscious members of Green Day.

FRIENDS: Hide you from the cops
BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they're after you in the first place

"Why did you call the cops on me, Tweek?" Craig yelled over the phone. Token raised an eyebrow as he drove Craig to the safe-house at the reply.

"If I told you once, I told you a million times, stay away from my coffee, Tucker!"

FRIENDS: Let you make an idiot of yourself in public
BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with you making an idiot out of themselves too.

Tweek swallowed hard as Craig danced on the stage, drunk off his ass. Taking another swallow of liquid courage, he pushed his was through the bystanders, joining his best friend in drunken antics.