Title: Tell Me You're Not Leaving (Then I'll Tell You Everything You Need To Know)
Pairing/Characters: Puck/Kurt, Burt/Carole, Finn, Quinn, Mercedes.
Genre: Smut, Romance, Angst, Fluff
Summary: Kurt has been keeping something serious from Puck. When something life-altering happens he decides to tell him, but will Puck still want to stick around afterwards?
Disclaimer: SOO not mine! I'm totally playing with other people's barbie dolls!
Warnings: Mpreg, AU-ish/Future!Fic (Puck's a senior and Kurt's a junior)
Spoilers: Let's say for the entire season, just to make sure.
Word Count: 5,209
Authors Note: I wrote this for the Puckurt Diva-off competition! I chose the challenge prompt which was: this secret could make or break them. Absolutely no smut happens in this at all. GASP! I know I'm as shocked as you are. hope you enjoy it none-the-less! Please review :-)
Kurt bit his lip nervously as he sat in the waiting area of the doctor's office, waiting for his turn to see the doctor. He was getting his test results back today and he was extremely anxious. That was an understatement actually, he was beyond anxious. He was terrified. More so because he was ninety-nine percent sure he already knew what the test results would come back as: Positive.
How could he have been so stupid? So careless? And more specifically why hadn't he told Puck sooner? Telling his boyfriend the secret that Kurt had been hiding from him would be hard enough, but he'd stand a better chance of Puck sticking around. Kurt hadn't told Puck though; he kept it to himself because he was too afraid of how Puck would react, what he'd think of him, and most of all he had been afraid that Noah would leave him. Things were way more complicated now. On top of the already large bombshell Kurt would have to drop on Puck, he now also had to tell his boyfriend he was pregnant.
Pregnant. Fuck. How did this happen? I had been so careful! Kurt thought to himself and wiped his eyes hastily.
It had all started a year ago, back when he was fifteen and still a sophomore. He had woken up one random night with excruciating pain in his lower abdomen. He felt slickness between his thighs and reached a shaky hand down to check what it was. He nearly fainted when he raised his hand and found it covered in blood. Before he could stop himself a shrill cry tore from his throat, disrupting the peaceful quiet of the house. His father, Carole and Finn came scrambling down the stairs into his basement bedroom, more than a little worried by his scream.
The next thing he knew he was looking up into his father's eyes, and his dad was asking him if he was okay. He heard himself stuttering out, "Blood... on… on my thigh from... from my..."
Burt sighed and shook his head and muttered to himself, "I knew this day was coming. Kurt there's something I need to tell you..."
And that was when he found out he was one of the small percentage of men who were able to become pregnant. He was a carrier. His father went on to explain what the doctor had explained to Burt many years ago when Kurt's ability was discovered. Carriers only get a "period" once and that's when they hit puberty. Burt had said, "It's your body's way of saying it's ready to bake some bread now." After that night his dad had become even more protective than usual when it came to Kurt and boys, even though no one had any interest in dating him. Well, so he thought at the time anyways. He hadn't known that Puck was just days away from asking him out.
The only people that knew that he was a carrier were his father, obviously, Carole and Finn, and Quinn and Mercedes. He had made it explicitly clear to them that he didn't want anyone else to know. He was all too aware what the general public thought about carriers, and on top of everything he already had to deal with because of his sexuality he didn't need that tid-bit of info getting out as well.
When he had started dating Puck they all, especially Quinn and Mercedes, had urged Kurt to tell him that he was a carrier. Kurt never could though, he had been in love with Puck for as long as he could remember and now that he and Puck were finally dating, he was terrified of Puck freaking out and leaving him. He just couldn't lose him. The jock had ended up being the best thing to ever happen to him.
Just then, the doctor appeared in the small waiting room and called Kurt's name. Kurt shook himself out of his thoughts, took a deep breath and rose to his feet.
Kurt had a stricken expression on his face as he exited the doctor's office. Just like he thought, the results had come back positive. He was pregnant. What am I going to tell Noah? How am I going to tell Noah?
He really hoped Puck wouldn't leave him. Especially now that he knew he was pregnant. He couldn't raise a baby on his own. He supposed that Puck would at least be there for their baby. Even if he didn't want to be with Kurt he wouldn't abandon his child. Not after Beth. That still didn't make him feel better though.
He examined his reflection in the rear view mirror of his navigator and saw his tear-stained cheeks and red-rimmed eyes staring back at him. He hadn't even realized he was crying. He wiped his tears away and more spilled down his cheek. His breath hitched and a broken sob escaped from his lips.
Giving in, he rested his head against the steering wheel and cried.
Some time later, his cell phone began to ring. Kurt sniffed and wiped his eyes again and reached for his phone. He wasn't sure how long he had been crying, but it must have been for a long time if someone was calling to check up on him. He saw Puck's name flash across his screen and his heart throbbed with pain.
He had to tell him. He couldn't hide it anymore, not now. Puck deserved to know about their baby, to have the chance to be apart of the baby's life. Even the chance to say he didn't want to. Puck deserved that right, and Kurt couldn't in good conscience keep that from him. He had to think about the life that was inside of him now. It wasn't just him anymore.
With a shaky hand he pressed the answer button and held the phone up to his ear, trying to sound normal.
"Hey, is everything alright? Are you okay?" Puck responded.
"Yeah..." Kurt paused and swallowed, thinking of a response. He couldn't tell Puck the truth over the phone, "Yeah everything's okay, why wouldn't it be?"
Puck sighed, "You never came back to school after your doctor's appointment. I didn't even know you had a doctor's appointment. I had to corner Quinn and beg her to tell me where you disappeared to. Why didn't you tell me? Is it.. is it bad? Because I'll stand by you if it is. Every step of the way. I won't leave you..."
Kurt had to bite the inside of his cheek hard to hold back the sob that desperately wanted to escape. Puck was so wonderful to him, always had been. Not for the first time he found himself wondering why he couldn't have just told Puck everything sooner.
"It's not... it's... I'm sorry. I didn't want to worry you. It wasn't that big of a deal at first and I didn't want to worry you over nothing..."
Kurt could hear the frown in Puck's voice as he replied, "Not a big deal at first? So it is bad then? Princess, I swear to you-"
This time Kurt couldn't stop the sob from escaping, interrupting Puck mid-sentence. Puck was being too nice to him, and he felt like he didn't deserve it. "Why are you so wonderful?"
Puck's voice was soft and smooth as silk as he answered Kurt's rhetorical question. "Because you're amazing. Because I love you... Princess what's wrong? Please tell me."
Kurt's voice wavered as fresh tears began to trickle down his cheeks. "It's nothing serious. Well... actually, it is... but-but its... it's not life threatening. Nothing like that... I'm okay... but I don't want to tell you over the phone. Can you-can you meet me at my house?"
"Sure thing, princess. When do you want me there?"
"As soon as you can get there. I'm on my way back home now."
"I'm on my way then. I love you, okay? No matter what, I love you."
Kurt sniffed, "I love you too." He hung up the phone and willed himself to calm down. Once he was sure that he would be able to drive without crashing into anything he started up his engine.
Burt smiled at Puck as he held the door open and moved to the side to let his son's boyfriend into the house. "Hey Noah. Good to see you! Here to see Kurt?"
Puck gave a small smile in return and nodded, "Yeah, is he down in his room?"
"He is, you staying for dinner?" Burt asked
Puck shrugged, "Sure. Thanks" He nodded at Burt once more before making his way to the basement door. He made his way down the stairs quietly and stopped once he reached the bottom. Kurt was standing in front of the vanity mirror, hands on his stomach and a sad expression on his face. It must be his stomach that has the issue. Maybe he has that irritated bowel thing. Puck thought to himself and made his way across the room.
Kurt was worried. He was very, very worried. He had no idea how to tell Puck everything, and he had no clue how Puck was going to react. He was so caught up in thinking of ways to start his confession that he hadn't even heard the front door opening and closing or the soft steps making their way down his staircase. He had suddenly felt a presence behind him though and looked up into his mirror and locked eyes with Puck as he made to stand directly behind him. Big, warm, tan hands slid around Kurt's waist from behind and tugged him backwards a bit until Kurt's entire backside was pressed up against Puck's solid, muscular body. The jock's large palms settled over top of Kurt's stomach, his fingers splayed protectively. Oh God, does Puck know already? Kurt thought as he stared at Puck's hands.
Puck dropped a kiss onto Kurt's shoulder before murmuring softly into his ear, "What's wrong baby? Is it your stomach? If it is I'll help you with it if I can. I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable, even if I have to pick up some of that tums crap at three in the morning for you."
Kurt's eyes began to tear up again, his pregnancy hormones making him more emotional than he had ever remembered being in is entire life. Puck turned him around and cupped his face with both hands, gently wiping away Kurt's tears, "Don't cry princess, It's going to be okay. Whatever it is, I'm right here, you're not alone."
Kurt rested both hands over top of Puck's and slowly lowered them. He shook his head and swallowed around the lump that was forming in his throat. "Please sit down. It.." His voice faltered a bit and he swallowed again, "It'll be easier to tell you if you're sitting down.."
Puck looked at him with concern as he sat on the bed. "Princess, are you really okay? I know you said it wasn't fatal or anything but you're really starting to-"
Kurt suddenly couldn't handle it anymore. Puck was being too nice, too caring and he knew he didn't deserve it, so he interrupted the jock and blurted out, "I've been keeping something from you!"
Puck froze and blinked a few times as Kurt's rushed statement slowly sank in. His first thought was that Kurt had cheated on him, but he knew deep down that Kurt would never do that; Kurt wasn't that type of person. Not wanting to jump to conclusions Puck drew in a breath, "What do you mean? What is it? If it's about the doctor's visit, I told you-"
Kurt shook his head and interrupted Puck again, "It's not about the doctor's visit... well, it sort of is but that's not what I've been keeping from you, I only found that out today."
"What is it then?" Puck asked carefully, preparing himself.
Kurt drew in a deep shaky breath and exhaled slowly. No stopping now. He looked everywhere but at Puck. "Please don't say anything until I'm finished, this is really hard for me to say. I've known this about me for about a year now, I had found out about a week before you asked me out. And when we started dating... I just.. I couldn't tell you. I was so afraid that you'd hate me, that you'd be disgusted with me and leave me and I never really found the courage to tell you. I wish I could say that I would have told you sooner if I could do it over… but the truth is I don't know if I would. I'm still a little terrified of how you're going to react." Kurt shook his head when he realized he was rambling, "Enough putting off now. You deserve to know the truth, and if you decide you can't be with me, well you deserve to have that chance too. I realized I've been really selfish keeping this to myself... so..." He drew in another a shaky breath and finally made eye contact with his boyfriend. The jock had an expression on his face that Kurt couldn't read. It just made him even more scared and his voice shook as he spoke. "Puck, I'm a carrier."
Puck's eyes widened and he let out a rush of air. Kurt was a what? Puck had heard about a few carriers in the news. They weren't liked very much; people didn't understand them. Puck had never really cared though; people were people after all. Still he would have liked to have known that his boyfriend was one before they had been together and having sex for over a year. Puck was extremely well endowed, and very thick and he had a tendency to break condom's, even when he used the magnum XL's, he still managed to break through them somehow. It happened often with Kurt but he never thought it was that big of a deal. Apparently it was now though, and he was starting to freak out because after what happened with Beth... "You're... so you can get pregnant?"
Kurt nodded his head solemnly, "That's not all. Today at the doctors - Oh god, I'm so sorry. I tried to be careful, I was careful. I took my shots every three weeks like I was suppose to, made sure you wore a condom.. but.. I.. it happened anyways and I don't know how, but I guess maybe the condom broke last time you made love to me or something because.. well.. I'm.. Puck... I'm pregnant."
Everything around Puck slowed to a stop as Kurt uttered out those two life-changing words. Kurt was pregnant... with his child. He couldn't believe that this was happening again. Funny enough, though, it wasn't Kurt's pregnancy that bothered him. No, what bothered him was that Kurt was a carrier and hadn't told Puck until he was pregnant with Puck's kid. Would Kurt have told him if he wasn't carrying his child? The more Puck thought about that the angrier he got.
Kurt held his breath as he waited for Puck to speak and the longer he waited the more nervous he got. He could tell by Puck's, now stony, expression that he was definitely not happy with all he had heard, and although he had been expecting it, it still made his heart sink.
"Please say something." Kurt whispered desperately.
Puck's voice was even, and very calm as he replied, "Would you have still told me you were a carrier if you weren't pregnant?"
"I.. what?" Kurt said, taken back by the question.
"Would you have still told me you were a carrier if you weren't pregnant."
"Noah, I'm sorry. I know I should have told you sooner-"
Puck cut Kurt off, annoyed that the soprano was avoiding answering the question. "I didn't ask you if you were sorry. I asked you if you still would have told me that you were a carrier if you weren't pregnant. If you didn't have a moral obligation to tell me, would you have still told me? Or are you just telling me because you're pregnant and I have the right to know about my kid? I love you Kurt, I love you so goddamn much it scares me sometimes. I'd do anything for you; literally anything and you know that. At least I thought you knew that." Puck's voice slowly began to rise with anger the more he talked, "Jesus Christ Kurt, how could you keep something like this from me? How many other people know Kurt? Who else knows, when not even your own boyfriend knows? Your boyfriend that you have sex with! Above anyone else I would have thought I'd be the first person you'd want to tell!"
Kurt was shocked. He wasn't shocked that Puck was angry; he had been expecting that, he was shocked about what Puck was angry about. Kurt's voice trembled with emotion, "I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you so badly, but I was afraid. I love you so much and I just couldn't have handled it if you'd have looked at me with disgust and left me."
Puck shook his head, "Baby, you know I'm not like that though. I'm not that jerk anymore. I love you. I've always loved you. I thought you trusted me? I thought you'd let my past go? If you don't trust me enough to tell me something that important than what are we doing here princess?"
Kurt sucked in a breath, "What are you saying? Of course I trust you! I love you."
Puck looked at Kurt dead in the eyes, "Okay, answer my question then. If you weren't pregnant, would you have still told me that you were a carrier?"
"Answer me, Kurt. Would you have still told me?" Puck's voice was eerily calm.
Kurt's eyes watered and his voice was just barely above a whisper as he answered, "Not right away but I would have eventually."
Puck's face grew cold, his voice flat and void of emotion, "So you wouldn't have told me today."
It wasn't a question. Puck already knew the answer. A tear slipped down Kurt's cheek and he shook his head miserably, "No." He reached out to grab Puck's hand but the jock dodged the touch and moved back a step shaking his head.
"I have to go. I have to think. I love you Kurt; you know that. No matter what I'm going to be there for the baby, but I..."
Kurt's heart stopped and his breath hitched as he watched Puck turn around and head for the staircase. He called out desperately, his voice breaking, "Noah, please don't leave me!"
Puck stopped for a second, but he didn't turn around. Kurt couldn't know he was crying himself. "I'll be back, I just need some time."
"Please don't go." Kurt whispered brokenly.
"I'll be back. You have to trust me."
Kurt's legs gave out and he sunk to the ground as he watched Puck disappear up the stairs and when he heard the front door slam shut the damn inside of him holding back his tears broke.
A few minutes later Burt cautiously walked down the stairs to Kurt's bedroom and his heart broke when he saw his boy crying in the middle of floor. He walked over to his son and sat down beside him and wrapped him up in his arms. Kurt curled in to him and sobbed into his chest.
"What happened? Did he hurt you?"
Kurt shook his head and cried even harder, "I... I told him."
Burt sighed and held on tighter, "Shh... it'll be okay."
Kurt was sitting in the kitchen and talking on the phone with Mercedes when he heard a knock at the door. It had been a few days since he had talked with Puck, and as Puck suggested, Kurt was trusting that his boyfriend would indeed come back to him. He had to trust him. Puck not coming back just wasn't an option, he'd be lost if the jock decided he really couldn't be with him anymore. So rather than depressing himself more than he already was, Kurt remained hopeful.
He got up from the table and made his way to the door when the knocking continued and he realized that no one else in the house was going to answer it. "I know Mercedes. I do trust him. I know he's not going to abandon our baby or me; he'll help take care of it. I just really hope I haven't screwed things up too badly and he'll want to stay toge-"
Kurt's voice trailed off as he opened the door and saw Puck standing on the other side with a rose in his hand and a serious expression on his face. "Mercedes, I have to go. I'll call you later okay? I will...you too. Bye." He hit the end call button and clutched the phone in both hands as he looked into Puck's eyes, "Hi."
A small smile tugged at the corner of Puck's mouth, "Hi. Can I, uh, can I come in?"
Kurt nodded and moved to the side, "Of course."
Puck stepped through the threshold and toed his shoes off in the foyer. Just then Finn came bounding down the stairs, "Kurt who's... Oh.. hey dude."
Puck nodded at Finn, "Hey man."
Finn jerked his thumb in the direction of the upstairs. "I'm just.. going to go.. back to my room now. If you need anything.. I'm.. you know... up there."
Puck watched Finn jog back up the stairs, waiting until they were alone again. He cleared his throat and held out the rose to Kurt, "This is for you."
Kurt smiled softly as he reached out for the flower with one hand and then brought it up to his nose to smell it. "Thank you, it's beautiful."
Puck smiled back and nodded, "You're welcome."
"Do you want to talk downstairs?"
"Sure" Puck shrugged and rubbed a hand over his mohawk.
As Puck stood before Kurt in Kurt's bedroom once again, he was more than sure that he had made the right decision. He loved Kurt more than anything, and if Kurt could forgive all the shitty things Puck did in the past, Puck could forgive Kurt of this. Baby or not, Puck wanted Kurt for as long as he would have him.
Puck took a deep breath and began. "I've done a lot of thinking over the past couple days, about the baby and you, and what you told me and... I tried to be mad at you, tried to hate you, but I couldn't, I love you too much. I just hated myself for keeping myself away from you. All I wanted to do was hold you, kiss you, make everything better, and when I really thought about it, I realized that there's really no one else I want to be with.
"This baby, our baby. I want it Kurt. I want it so badly, want both of you. I couldn't... I can't... I can't give another child up. It nearly killed me the first time, I wouldn't survive it a second."
Kurt's eyes glistened with unshed tears, "I want it too. I don't want to give it up."
Puck gave a lop-sided grin and he swallowed thickly at the ball of emotion forming in his throat. He was a stud and he was not going to cry like some chick. Especially not in front of Kurt. He drew in a deep breath and began to tug his school ring off his finger. "I know it's not going to be easy baby, but as long as you're by my side I know we'll be able to do it. I'm not going anywhere, ever. I'll do anything and everything I can to be the man you need and provide for you and our baby. But... I have to know; do you trust me?"
Kurt nodded and whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "Yes, Noah. I trust you."
A big smile spread across Puck's face and he nodded, "Okay. I have one more thing I want to say then."
Kurt's breath hitched as Puck sank down onto one knee. He grabbed hold of Kurt's hand as he gazed up at him. "Kurt Hummel, I love you so much it hurts. I know we're young, but I don't care. You make me want to be a better man, and every day I thank my lucky stars that I have you in my life. And if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life loving you. Will you marry me?"
Kurt nodded emphatically as a few tears made their way down his face and he choked out, "Yes. I will."
Puck smiled and slipped his ring onto Kurt's finger. His fingers were bigger then Kurt's though so the only finger it would fit on was the brunette's pointer. He looked up at Kurt after slipping on the ring, "I know it's not perfect. We can get it resized so it fits your ring finger. It'll have to do though until I can afford a proper engagement ring."
Kurt tugged on Puck's hand until the jock took the hint and stood up. He threw his arms around his neck and whispered into his neck, "It doesn't matter, it's perfect to me. I love you."
Puck tipped Kurt's face up and pressed his lips against Kurt's softly. He kissed him slow and passionately, pouring everything he felt into the kiss as his arm snaked around Kurt's waist and held him tightly.
Puck was sure he was going to piss himself as he sat beside Kurt across the table from Burt and Carole. He was holding Kurt's hand in his own, their entwined hands resting on top of the table, and Kurt had just told his Dad and Carole that he was pregnant and that Puck was the father. An unreadable expression had spread across the elder Hummel's face while Carole's had remained neutral. He hoped Burt wouldn't chop off his balls, he really really liked them right where they were, he didn't want them stapled to his forehead.
"Daddy, I'm sorry you're upset. But I love Noah, and our baby, and I'm going to keep it."
Burt nodded stiffly and something twinkling on Kurt's finger caught his attention. He nodded at Kurt's hand, "What's that?"
Puck swallowed and spoke up for the first time since the conversation began. "It's a ring, sir. I... I asked Kurt to marry me. I love your Son, Mr. Hummel. I love him so much, and I know we're young, but I know how I feel, and I'd rather die than be without Kurt sir. I'd give my life to keep him safe, and I swear I'll do anything and everything I can to take care of him and to provide for him and our child. I'll do whatever I need to prove to you that I'm serious about him, about us. Kurt and I were talking and we think..." He locked eyes with Kurt for a second, silently asking permission to continue. Kurt nodded and so Puck charged on, "We think, if it's ok with you that is, that it would be good if I were to move in with Kurt. So that way I can save up some money and take care of him and the baby, and you won't have to worry about him as much. I'll take him to all his appointments and pay for everything he needs..."
Burt looked over at Carole when he felt her rest her hand on his shoulder. She smiled softly and nodded at him. Burt turned back towards the young couple and spoke to Kurt first. "You really love him?"
Kurt took a deep breath and squeezed Puck's hand, "Yes, Dad. More than anything."
Burt gave a short nod, "Okay then. I trust you." He then turned his gaze to Puck, "Noah. It takes guts, coming here and telling me all this. Instead of running away and letting Kurt deal with everything on his own you stuck with him, owned up to your mistake, and dealt with the repercussions. That's something a real man would do, and it shows me you really do love and respect my son. For that I'm proud of you. I'm far from happy about the mess you got yourself and Kurt in but if you follow through with everything you just told me, if you continue to love and care for my son and that little baby, I'll be happy to have you as a son-in-law."
Puck swallowed and nodded at Burt and squeezed Kurt's hand back, "I will Mr. Hummel."
Burt smiled warmly and laced his hands with Carole's. He looked over at her. "What do you think, honey?"
Carole's smile was big, and warm, and bright as she gazed at the young couple. They were so in love with each other, you could see it all over their faces. How could she ever stand in the way of that? She looked from the two boys to Burt and then back again, "Welcome home, Noah."
Puck nuzzled the back of Kurt's neck as he spooned the brunette from behind, his powerful chest pressed up against Kurt's back. He had been living with Kurt for a few weeks now, and as each day passed he fell more and more in love with the soprano. Moments like these, where he got to fall asleep holding Kurt in his arms every night, had quickly become his favourite and it made him wonder how he'd ever gone without before. Their friends in Glee Club had reacted quite well to the news of Kurt's pregnancy and Puck moving in. Puck had been worried about how Finn would react but he'd totally surprised Puck and was actually awesome about it. He smiled to himself and buried his nose in Kurt's neck and breathed in deeply as he tightened his hold.
"What's gotten in to you?" Kurt asked softly, a smile in his voice.
"Nothing. Just thinking about how awesome my life is and how lucky I am to get to hold you every night."
Kurt snuggled back into Puck's embrace, "Ohh, Noah. I love you."
Puck splayed his fingers and settled his big palm over top of Kurt's belly protectively; he kissed Kurt's neck and then murmured softly into his ear. "I love you too, baby. Both of you."