Insert witty disclaimer here. It's basically humour, and so read and review please. Watch how one of Dumbledore's simplest plans, can get a thousand year old rivalry to come to a peaceful understanding.

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Phineus Nigellas's POV

There was a gleam in Dumbledore's eyes today and not his usual twinkle. Don't ask me how I can clarify the difference. He was up to something. Isn't he always? His mind was now centered on this article posted in the Daily Prophet:

Wizard healer misperforms Caesarian charm and transfers unborn child to himself.

Of course he was up to something, and Dumbledore was special. Unlike most Gryffindors, he thought before he took a step. You could say he planned everything two steps ahead, but I would gladly tell you- you're wrong.

He had thought ten steps ahead. For example, when he sunk his teeth into the apple during breakfast- it wasn't breakfast. . It was an elaborate unending scheme of cycles.

When he took a bite from that green apple, he could see the students do the same to please him. And after breakfast they'd head out, but not before passing a rather disoriented painting of green apples, which would undoubtedly capture their attention. So they would make it worthwhile to pass around the shabby painting every day, and often more than never they would come in contact with house elves whose rooms were behind this painting. And so on and so forth these little children took time and patience to learn about the house elves and their past- often taking pity. Understanding would surface. So in Dumbledore's world, a bite from an apple would lead to world peace.

And for another mind numbing example, he drank 3 glasses of water before he went to sleep. He knew he would wake up in 3 hours times, which is the time when most of the students felt their tummies grumbling. Gryffindor's had distaste for certain rules; Slytherin's thought they were above it, naturally; Hufflepuffs took it in their responsibility to charge out into the lurking dark and provide food for the starving group; Ravenclaws couldn't imagine waking up with a hungry stomach- for alas, how could they study and lecture the Gryffindors then?

He knew it was around this time that the children would surrender to their stomachs, disregarding the merciless Filch on the prowl. And so Dumbledore would get up from his snooze, with a smile plastered on his face. He'd calmly walk down the stairs whistling a rather uncommon tune. Then he'd search for the loo, while chatting up with Filch. The students, who were unaware of their savior lurking in some dark corner talking about flesh eating cabbages, would then slip into the kitchen and request the house elves for food.

Now. Now. Don't think Dumbledore has done anything wrong with interfering with the thousand year old rules and regulations. He merely chatted up Filch, and in the fat book of useless rules, there is no such misconduct mentioned.

But of course, Dumbledore knew this all along.

More often than not, his ideas did not have much to do with learning, but instead accepting. His students could know about practically anything in this vast realm, but it was only for them to accept it. And more often that not, his wonderful pearls of knowledge did not leave a much desirable effect on the students, but it was indeed a necessary evil, albeit unorthodox.

So what did the Professor have in his mind today by reading a simple article? Was he thinking of world peace, squib equal rights, more nightly escapades, free flesh eating cabbages…I guess you'll never know.

But I sure will, and I do (for I am above you by all means and standards). Today, he announced the plan with gleaming satisfaction in his eyes. All the portraits mumbled and cheered and muttered their agreements. Though I am fairly certain, if it were the other way around he'd still continue with his elaborate schemes.

I admit at first his ideas took me back, but then his gleamy eyes, made me think so otherwise. He knew what he was doing. Didn't he always? Well why aren't you answering me?

Sometimes I wonder, truly, does the old man know what he's doing? Sometimes I wonder if he takes a topic, and thinks of a completely unrelated one, and then flicks out a paper, connecting the points from which to take the topic to the unorthodox result. I do wonder.

But you've got to admit. Dumbledore's old, but he's got style.

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So this is my first chapter, and there is definitely going to be a plethora of humour to continue. This was just a teaser :):] R/R please and tell me if you want me to continue :D