For a while i was truly happy with Peeta and the kids but the night terrors and the loss ofmy sister life seemed almost unbarable. My mom left again. I was more disapointed with her now more than ever. She chose to be a nurse and help people which was great but it was in a whole other district and it meant she wouldn't be with me. I understand that she wouldn't want to stay in the house we were currently living in because it was a constant reminder of prims death but not being with me in district 12 cost her me. By choosing not to face her fear of living without Prim she lost me. Peeta and i are in love and i can't imagine not being with him. I chose the man that i could not live without but it doesn't mean that i still don't miss Gale. He was my best and only friend for a long time. I have learned to live without him but my heart still longs to be with him. I don't regret my decission about choosing Peeta but i hate that by choosing him i'll probobly never see Gale again. I need my best friend now. He would have known better than i how to win the hunger games and win, and probobly lead the revolution and have handled it better than me. I am constantly reminded of the events that occured during the hunger games, they haunt me in my dreams and in my flash backs. Peeta keeps another house in the Victor's village where he stores his painting. The hunger games haunt him too, and the only way he knows how to cope is by painting them. I can never bring myself to look at them because they are too painful to bear. I wake up screaming most nights because of the nightmares but when i sleep with Peeta they aren't so bad. Whem i'm in Peeta's arms i have this sense of safness that i don't have anywhere else and it somforts me especially when i think of the games.

My life has become less and less eventful but i like it that way. i like the simplicity of my life. i like that all i have to worry about are my kids and my husband...