AUTHOR'S NOTE: In simple words, So Contagiously is a fanfic of a fanfic. AN author here hidden by the name of CP Coulter wrote a story based on Glee called Dalton, which is the story that this one is based on. Though neither of us own the characters Blaine and Kurt, CP Coulter does own Logan, Shane, Reed, Wed, and the 'twins.' Theo, who is only mentioned in the story, although he has never been in Glee or Dalton.
This was posted on 12/29/10, where the latest chapter of Dalton was Episode 17. This story takes place one year after the circumstances on that chapter.
12/30/10: I just realized I've put some really atrocious typos in this. And to think, I honestly thought I've proof read this. And for the record: yes, I have asked CP Coulter if I was allowed to do this, and she said and knows the existence of this fic.
Kurt was thinking three days before Christmas, if only he could write Santa Claus a letter. It felt like it was times like these when he needed to go back to being a kid. Back to the basics, as Christina Aguilera would say. It came to the point where Kurt woke up at two in the morning in the middle of the luxury suite, which Logan, who was fast asleep beside him with only a pair of shorts on, so that he could sit on the desk with the lamp on in front of a pen and an empty memo pad.
Dear Santa, he started. I think I maybe want Blaine back.
The thought crossed him a few times before it actually made its way on the paper. By then, Kurt already reviewed his history - the big fight that ruined them, the crying, then more crying after that. Then there was Logan, who saw him run out of th house. Logan who caught him in his arms and soothed and whispered, No, no, no, I got you. I got you, Kurt.
But he wrote it down anyway. He was aware of the fact that Logan himself was just a few meters away from him, and he wasn't terrified of the fact that Logan might wake up and look over to his shoulder to see what Kurt was writing. In fact, Kurt kept a nonchalant expression when it eventually happened.
"Santa?" Logan laughed as he dragged another seat next to his boyfriend. He put a long, pale arm around Kurt's neck, pulled him close to plant a kiss on his forehead. "Really now?"
"Shut it, Logan," Kurt rolled his eyes, his tone making it sound like Logan's been picking on him since they landed from Ohio, but despite this, he leaned back against Logan's touch.
Logan placed rested his chin on Kurt's shoulder, reading over the words a few more times. Logan was no suspect to Kurt's feelings towards Blaine. Logan knew Kurt loved Blaine. But he also knew that Kurt loved him, even though. Romance that involved the blond boy always seemed to have a way to make things fucked up.
There was always more to relationships when it came to Logan.
"You know," he started, remembering that he took his pills, "If you think you should… feel free." Kurt then reached up to grip Logan's hand.
The countertenor, though, rolled his eyes. "Do not talk to me about this, I swear to God."
Logan laughed, shaking his head, looking at Kurt through the mirror on top of the dresser. "That was six months ago, Kurt. It's also Christmas - a time for miracles and all that."
"I don't believe in miracles," Kurt mumbled under his breath, facing away from Logan as he spoke.
The other boy reached out with his other hand, catching Kurt's chin to make him look at his boyfriend. WIth a stern tone of voice he said, "I said miracles. Not God."
This was always a touchy subject to Kurt. Always will be, too, but Logan was never afraid to pick it out of the basket in front of his boyfriend. How else was he supposed to get to know him? Kurt's expression softened, "I know what you said."
Kurt then let go of Logan's hand, and right when he did, the taller boy's expression dropped, too. His shoulders slumped down and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I think he'll make you happy," he whispered on Kurt's ear.
"You know, if you wanted to dump me, there are other ways to do it."
Logan stood up at that, letting go of Kurt. He walked over to their bed saying, "Trust me when I say that I know how to dump someone without beating around the bush." He slipped under the covers without another word. Logan was always like that - always letting the words sink in.
Kurt turned around on his chair, a hand clenched into a fist as he bit down on his lip. "I'm sorry," he said. "I love you."
"I know," Logan replied, his voice muffled by the covers already.
"I'm happy here with you," Kurt's voice was softer this tIme.
There was a laugh from Logan. It still always amazed Kurt how Logan could be one mood and then another so fast. "I thought our New Year's resolution was that we wouldn't lie anymore?"
Kurt didn't have an answer for that one. He tried to think of another comeback - months of being together with Logan taught him how to be wittier and quick on the remarks - in return, he taught Logan to be calmer, less intense, and gentle - but by the time he thought of something to say, he could already hear Logan's even breaths. So instead he lied down next to the blond boy, letting himself be pulled close and kissed on the forehead before his heart stopped racing as he let himself sink into something that Kurt knew was familiar and safe.
It Christmas again. Blaine was in the kitchen with his brother, Shane, peeling apples and cutting pineapple bits. It was always like this, it was a simple tradition that Blaine liked to keep, but this time, he wished that he maybe might've pretended to be sick instead this time - anything not to be having a discussion with Shane about Kurt, and Theo, his boyfriend. Everybody that was close to him always thought the former was better than the latter. Blaine just wanted them to stop thinking about it.
"Theodore didn't want to come?" his younger brother quipped cheerfully, acting like it was perfectly okay to be asking a question like that when it was absolutely not.
But Blaine kept his composure and his raised his brow, continuing on his work with the apples. "I told you, he's in Vegas with his family."
Shane didn't miss a beat. "You didn't want to go with him? Shame."
Blaine sighed, cutting a piece of apple before popping one inside his mouth. He didn't want to really ruin Christmas Eve by telling his brother to mind his own fucking business. "Why don't you just say it, Shane? Get it over with."
The other boy shrugged. He had all the pineapples in a glass bowl and he proceeded to bring into the dining room where everybody was, and as Blaine let his gaze follow his brother, Wes slipped into the kitchen, apparently to continue what Shane started.
"What is this?" Blaine asked. "Tag-team? Am I missing something?"
But his friend ignored him. "You just obviously haven't moved on, man," Wes said, crossing his arms. "It's not like we don't understand what you feel about Kurt, but it's Theo. Maybe you should give him a real chance this time." Not waiting for Blaine to answer, he turned around to the plates and started picking out the ones to be used.
There were still three more apples that Blaine wasn't touching, because he wasn't peeling apples anymore. He rested his hands on the counter with a blank expression. Surprisingly, this kind of behavior didn't make him angry, but he just hated thinking about it altogether. It wasn't like he didn't try getting over Kurt.
He acted mature. He stayed in Windsor - more importantly, his room, which was right across from Kurt's. He was civil when Kurt still ate with them, and even more civil when Kurt brought Logan around, although he did falter when they started holding hands in school. After he saw that, Blaine was pretty positive that Kurt was never coming back.
Well. Maybe only half sure, but still.
So what if it's been six months? Blaine's pretty sure that he's been in love with Kurt longer than that. So what if Kurt was with Logan? Things could turn around any time now, nobody ever knows. At least Blaine stopped crying himself to sleep. At least Blaine's stopped sleeping while hugging one of Kurt's shirts.
"I'm breaking up with him," he thought out loud. He didn't even notice that Wes already stepped out of the kitchen and that he was alone now. He wiped his hands dry and walked towards the front door, his phone in his hands, ready to dial a number.
Kurt was with Logan at New York for a party that Logan's father arranged. Kurt knew of Logan's whole distaste of the city itself because of what it reminded him of, so he didn't think twice before he grabbed on to Logan's hand and said, "I'll go with you." Needless to say that Logan was more than happy. But when Kurt got back into their hotel room from a few hours of shopping - with the help of Logan's credit card (he insisted) - there was a oneway ticket back to Ohio and the "letter to Santa" that he never finished with Blaine's address and driving instructions from the airport to it in Logan's handwriting.
Logan was nowhere to be seen. To Kurt, this was a clear sign that this was hurting Logan more than he lets show. Kurt then continued on like he never saw the ticket or the note, even when Logan arrived. He wrapped his arms around the green-eyes boy's frame, closed his eyes and pressed his face on Logan's chest.
Logan held him, too, figuring that it was something they both needed. "Come on," he said, hand resting on the back of Kurt's neck. "Let's go for dinner downstairs."
In the middle of eating his food, Kurt looked up when he heard Logan clear his throat. Oh no, he thought. What now?
Logan always wanted what Kurt wanted. Always. If Kurt wanted to go back to Blaine, then okay. If Kurt didn't want to talk about, then that was fine. Either way, he'd always still be there - he'd grown into that kind of love for Kurt. Putting himself out of the equation. And he was absolutely sure that Kurt wanted Blaine.
"I'm uninviting you from my father's party," Logan said, staring into Kurt's eyes in that intense way that Kurt knew him for. The stare that let Kurt know if Logan decided to miss out on meds for the day. "Now you don't have an excuse not to go back to Ohio."
He went back to look at his steak, popping a bite in his mouth before he went for his wine. "W-What? Why?" Kurt didn't really mean that why part - of course he knew. But this move was absurd, even for Logan. "Uninvite me? How did you ever manage that?"
"I told the old man that I had a fight with you and that you won't be attending." Logan looked up and smiled at Kurt. "No need to thank me."
Kurt wasn't sure if Logan was telling him that he loved him more than himself or that if he was getting a slap on the face. Usually it was Kurt who slapped Logan. He couldn't gather words.
"I think you forget sometimes that I loved Blaine, too," Logan said. The rest of the night, Kurt didn't touch his food (to which Logan just said, "Baby, are you gonna eat that? Oh - never mind, we'll ask for room service if and when you get hungry later."
As to where Logan was with Blaine, nothing was considered "good". Blaine hated Logan, he accepted that. What was important to Logan was that he knew that one way or another, they both needed each other at one point in the past. Blaine might've felt boxed into a corner with his relationship with Logan, but Logan needed him there. Always, and that was his way of making sure of it. There was no way in explaining his actions. Logan just doesn't think sometimes. Before he could ever muster enough courage to find a way to apologize to Blaine, he'd already been to deep into all the shit.
The giant what if always dwelled in his mind. What if I fixed it? He always thought that he'd never be able to forgive himself for letting Blaine slip away, and now he had no idea what he was missing. He wouldn't ever allow that to happen the Kurt.
And because Logan loved Kurt, and because he still could love Blaine, he told himself this was the right thing to do. It didn't mean it didn't hurt, though, and that he won't be doing anything stupid once Kurt left.
Blaine had a few box full of things from his room in Dalton that he was returning home since he already graduated. There were books and clothes, and after his phone call with Theo, he thought it would be a good way to take his mind off of things.
In one box, he had his Physics book. He flipped through it for a moment before it opened to a page with a picture of him and Kurt when it was Spring earlier in the year. They were kissing, sitting somewhere in Blaine's room. Blaine was the one taking the picture, his arm raised and angled with the camera, but his eyes were closed, his mind in on the kiss. Kurt had both of his hands at the sides of Blaine's face, but he had one eye open peering at the lens. Kurt was always awkward and clumsy - but he was always eager. Blaine loved that about him.
Blaine wiped the tears away before they made the trip down his face. With a small sniffle, he continued down the box.
The next relevant thing he saw was a grey sweater with the Stuart crest at the front, though the red of it was a bit worn out through the years. Blaine held it in his hands like he wasn't really sure what to do with it, but he remembered why it was there. A couple of times when they were still together, the stress of being a student at Dalton always caught up with Blaine and Logan would sneak in through the window at night without question. Blaine was shivering that night, he could barely speak. At the sight of him, Logan took off his sweater and he slipped in next to Blaine, shirtless and honest and warm. He soothed Blaine to sleep, pressed him against his body until he stopped shivering. The next morning, Logan wasn't there anymore, and he left with one of Blaine's shirts, but he left that sweater.
Without really thinking, Blaine pulled his shirt off and replaced it with the sweater instead, finding it to still fit that way it did years ago. He hugged himself, pulling the clothing closer to his body. Then he started crying.
The drive from the airport was quiet. Neither Burt or Carole knew that Kurt was back in town - nobody but Logan did. He didn't want to open the radio or pop in a CD because it was situations like these that, despite how much he wanted to sing them, made him hate love songs and the Christmas songs on the radio only reminded him of first Winter festival in Dalton.
"No thank you," he muttered to himself when he slammed the radio close.
The silence gave him enough time to think of the many scenarios that this could possible turn out. The one that Kurt was aiming for was:
Somebody would open the door. And whether or not it Blaine, Kurt would smile and greet them a Merry Christmas. Of course, if it wasn't Blaine, he'd ask to talk to him, then he'd be invited inside. After that, Blaine would come in, hug Kurt - maybe even kiss him - and they wouldn't need words. Not right now, anyway.
His personal favorite, however, was that Blaine would come down from the stairs with the rest of their friends behind him with different stuffed animals that all varied size. Then, all at the same time, they would throw them at Kurt and eventually suffocate him to death with it.
When Kurt was leaving from the airport, Blaine was just sitting on the stairs, watching his brother and friends, his nieces and nephews, and some cousins gather around the Christmas tree to act all festive. Blaine was still wearing Logan's sweater and the twins eyed him strangely, but offered him cookies anyway. His hand was in the pockets of it, and in his hand he held the glossy surface of his picture with Kurt.
An hour and a half later, Blaine went up and back to his room. He even caught the knowing look and the sad smile Reed sent him on the way up.
He laid on his bed, arm over his eyes, and he thought about how it should be illegal to be feeling this way on Christmas. After a while, he looked at his phone. Maybe Kurt texted, or tried to call. Maybe even Logan (even though Blaine wasn't too sure why he was thinking about Logan, too). Nothing.
After that there were pebbles hitting his window. Blaine's heart stopped - What was that?
He opened the latch and poked his upper body out, his breath hitching when there was one Kurt Hummel down there with the same kind of smile, beckoning for him to keep quiet and to meet him behind the house.
Kurt decided to ditch knocking-on-the-front-door gimmick in the last minute. He was thankful enough when Blaine disappeared from the window, but Kurt's heart started beating a lot more faster when he realized that he didn't exactly have a whole speech ready for this moment. "Oh my goodness gracious," he breathed out, hand on top of his hammering chest.
When he heard the backdoor open, he faced Blaine probably looking like he just saw a ghost. No matter how much Kurt's wanted to see this moment, he would never be able to deny the fact that it still scared him to death. He didn't know what to say, and kissing Blaine didn't seem like such a good idea at the moment.
"Kurt?" Blaine said the single syllable like he couldn't believe he was actually there.
"Yeah." Kurt nodded and before he could stop himself, a shaky, awkward laugh went past his lips. "Me."
"What are you doing here?" he asked. Blaine's hand twitched like he just wanted to reach out for Kurt.
Kurt bit down on his bottom lip, hard. His hands clutched into fists. His nose started to sting and he tried to push back tears. He tilted his head back and brushed his knuckle under his eye. "I just - I - I was hoping…" Kurt was not going to cry. He'd come too far.
Blaine started to nod, talking a few steps closer. Inside, he was taking his heart apart at the sight of Kurt crying. "Yeah. Now would be a good time," his voice was soft, calm, but they both knew there were still things Blaine wanted to say, but he was guarded this time and Kurt couldn't blame him.
Kurt took two steps towards Blaine, feeling the courage run through his veins now that he knew that Blaine was just as scared as him. "I never stopped loving you," he said. "I should've never left."
The other boy shook his head in agreement. "Never."
"I don't think I know how to be completely happy without you!" Kurt then shouted, his voice coming out a lot louder than he intended. He gulped nervously.
Blaine reached out, hands gripping Kurt's arms and he pulled Kurt towards him, arms around his body, close enough to breathe him. He remembered how it felt always being able to have Kurt this close, and that's when Kurt started to let go, tears flowing down from his eyes to Logan's sweater. "I tried," Blaine whispered, his fingers trailing at the back of Kurt's neck where his hair started. "I tried to forget you, but I couldn't."
The moment he felt Kurt's tears on his skin, Blain pulled back with his hands cupping Kurt's face. He looked into Kurt's eyes through the tears, looking at him the way he did under the mistletoe last year before he brought their lips together for a kiss.
"I love you." The words punched against their lips, and neither of them were sure which one of them said it.
"Don't - don't ever do that to me again."
"No, no, no, never," Kurt muttered, tears still falling off his lashes. He kept them close enough so that their noses touched. "I'm sorry it took so long."
They were still kissing when the rest of the Windsor boys and Shane finally opened the door, grins stretching from ear-to-ear. Reed was crying harder than the both of the boys.
Logan was back inside what used to be his and Kurt's hotel room. He made a mess again - it would impress most, he believed. He was on his back, on the carpeted floor with just his slacks on. An hour later he thrashed around, he took his medicine. And now, he was on the phone with Kurt.
"Merry Christmas," Kurt said from the other end of the phone. His voice was softer, in the way that Logan's never heard it in a while.
"I hope you know," Logan started, bringing his hand up to rub his chest where his heart's supposed to be. "The best present you could ever give me is dumping me for another man that you're in love with."
"I still love you, Logan." There was something guilty in his voice. Logan could tell.
"I know, baby." Logan paused, waiting to see if Kurt would speak up that he wasn't allowed to call Kurt anymore. "Just… visit? Soon? And bring him with you."
There wasn't any way to explain what Kurt was feeling. But he was sure that it was Christmas. With a smile, Logan said, "I love you."
"I love you, too."
The line went dead. Maybe there are such things as miracles.