I'll be your only.
Brooding. That's all I seem to do anymore. I've only been here in Degrassi for a month, it feels like fifteen years. Sure, I'm wealthy. I must not be too hard on the eyes either, every last damn female at this school has fallen at my feet at one point or another. All it takes is a smirk in their direction and they're a puddle of goo in the floor. You would think I would be happy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong. Don't feel bad, most people are wrong in my opinion.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to be all knotted up inside over the one woman I can't have. She says I only want her because I can't have her. She's wrong too. I need her. I need her to function. She's my other half, literally.
Fifi has always been the good twin, I'm the bad one. That's what everyone says anyway. I guess I can understand why they feel that way; since these feelings for Fiona have surfaced I've had an attitude problem. I have to keep my feelings bottled up inside. People wouldn't understand, they just can't understand what it's like to love someone so deeply, so fully, and know that it will never be the way it's supposed to. Sometimes my feelings explode; I have a violent temper that I never had when I was younger. She's the only one who can calm me down. One touch and I'm like those bitches in heat at that damned high school. I'd do anything for her, anything for her time and attention.
You're probably wondering why I'm currently sitting alone in my room, in the dark, nursing a busted lip and a swollen cheek. For one, I do my best brooding in the dark, also that violent temper I mentioned, it was unleashed this afternoon when Fiona's latest boy toy was manhandling her by our locker. We share a locker, it's a twin thing. In a month she's dated a dozen meat heads and half a dozen artsy wimps. I've had several fantasies where they're all on a deserted island together and I'm in control of multiple varieties of explosives, including a rocket launcher.
Anyway, I was minding my own business sulking from one class; I don't even know which, to another boring unnecessary class. I was late and everyone else was in class, I took a detour to the soda machine, too bad they don't have a vodka machine. On my way back to wherever I was supposed to be I heard some noises coming from the hall perpendicular to me and decided that whatever was going on was probably more entertaining than geometry , the history of ashtray making or whatever neurotic class my substance dependant advisor picked out for me. I was wrong, what I found was not entertaining, it was gut wrenching.
"Fitz stop!" Fi didn't sound like herself, her voice was small, like a scared child. "Please?" She whimpered as the meathead pushed her up against OUR locker and ravaged her neck with his disgusting peasant mouth. "I told you, I'm not ready for anything physical!"
"And that's why you're the biggest fucking tease in this school" He all but barked at her and kept her hands pinned against our locker. "I'm not like the other pricks at this school; I don't deal with wishy washy bitches like you." Tears were streaming down her face. "You're mine, start acting like it!" He growled.
"You're wrong." Fiona gasped when she saw me grab Fitz off of her and my fist connected with his jaw. "She's mine" I said gravely, as his body hit the floor with a loud thud. In seconds my Fiona was in my arms. Her slight frame fitting so perfectly inside my larger one. I shushed her and slid my hands down her slim back and down to the curve of her waist. "It's okay FiFi" I was nuzzling the top of her head which was nestled in the crook of my shoulder.
I piercing pain gripped my throat and I was ripped out of my dream world with my beautiful sister. Fitz had apparently woken up and was not in a mood to sit down and talk about this like gentlemen. Lucky for him, neither was I. I shoved my Fiona out of the way, she crouched down beside the lockers and Fitz socked me in the mouth. The pain permeating as the back of my head hit the locker's was viable, but nothing as excruciating as seeing this despicable excuse for a man mauling my precious twin. The memory of her crying as he attempted to defile her had rage bubbling inside me and I swear I growled as I tackled him, punching him square in the face. He yelled and I heard his nose break. He threw me off of him and my cheek hit the corner of the lockers. So much for my good looks. It dawned on me that Fiona wasn't hiding any longer. Where was she?
"Mr. Coyne, Mr. Fitzgerald…MY OFFICE NOW" Famous last words. Fitz gave me one last shove as we started walking toward our principal. We followed him down the hall to his office; I stuck my leg out causing Fitz to trip and fall into the water fountain and trashcan. "Mr. Fitzgerald , if you cannot walk down the hall like a decent human being maybe you don't belong here at Degrassi" Our principal wasn't happy with either of us, but I couldn't help but smirk at the situation. I just hoped my sister was okay. She had to be scared. She needed me. I could feel it when I was holding her against me. Her body instantly relaxed in my embrace. She needed my touch as much as I needed hers.
One week suspension. That was my reward for heroically defending my sister's honor. Seems fair, no? My sentiments exactly. To top the "best day ever" off, I'm not only bruised, suspended and still lusting after my own twin, but now that same twin(as if I had more than one) is currently not speaking to me. That's right, the dreaded silent treatment. The whole limo ride home, not one word. As soon as we arrived at the Coyne mansion she was flitting out of our ride, up the stairs, through the foyer and up the spiral staircase. My stomach flipped and my heart sank as I heard her door shut. She never shut me out, even when we fought; her room was never off limits.
So what else could I do? I sulked all the way to my room and flopped on my bed. I managed to muster up enough strength to loosen my tie and unbutton my stuffy uniform shirt. I hated being away from Fi, she was only a few steps away, but it felt like a thousand miles. I sighed to myself and finally slid my tie over my head. My button down followed and landed in a heap of clothes in the floor. I was too miserable to be tidy. I flopped back in my overstuffed bed. I don't know how long I laid there on my back, my forearm resting behind my neck, before I fell into a restless slumber.
I awoke to a warm wetness soaking my bare chest and silken strands of hair sliding across my arm. I groaned audibly as I regained my senses and realized my hand was gently gripping a female's hip as she kissed my chest. Fiona's sweet and classy scent infiltrated my nose, inducing a feral growl to erupt from my chest. If I didn't get a hold of myself I was going to do something she would regret in the morning.
"FiFi" I slid my hand from her hip, up her delicate side. The swell of her breast was so tempting as my hand slid all the way up, over her shoulder and rested on her swan like neck. "Darling, look at me. You need to stop. I can't control myself around you"
When she lifted her head to look at me, her glistening eyes were proof that my chest was not wet from her kisses, but rather her tears. "Fiona, what's wrong?" I clasped her beautiful face in my hands. She must still be angry with me for my outburst with Fitz.
"I'm. *sob* so *Sob* sorry" she was hyperventilating. I gathered her in my arms and pulled her on my lap. She gasped when she felt the evidence of my desire for her slide across her backside. "Fiona, sorry for what? You've done nothing wrong" I kissed the apples of her cheeks, tasting her tears. God, I loved her.
"You got hurt today, because of me and my stupid reckless judgment" She was calming down with every stroke of my hand down her back. "I never liked Fitz…I just…I"
"You don't have to explain yourself to me Fi; it's none of my business." I pressed my forehead against hers. "I thought you were mad at me for acting like some territorial cave man. I can't help it sometimes. It kills me to see you hurt." I pulled back to look at her as she began to speak.
"Dex, I am your business. Just like you're mine" She gave me a small smile. "I know how you feel. I hate that every blustering bimbo on campus has the hots for you, especially Holly J. "She gave the cutest little flustered huff and continued "Everyone knows she always gets whatever she wants. And she wants you!"
"I'm not available" I smirked, liking this jealous side I was seeing of my other half. "How do you think I feel? Seeing you parading down the halls with one loser after another. None of them are even remotely good enough for you FiFi"
"I thought maybe if I dated around I might be able to get rid of these feelings" she gestured to my chest with one hand and held her hand over her own with the other. "It hurts Declan"
"I know baby" I brought her hand to my lips. "It rips me apart inside when I'm not with you". She shifted on my lap, her legs on either side of my body. It was then that her panties slid deliciously across the tent in my slacks. My breath rushed out of my mouth, she literally stole my breath. My hands gripped her hips, more forcefully than before. God, I needed her. I wanted her. I had to have her.
"I've dated nearly ever boy in school…none of them compare to you Declan" She brushed her thumb across my swollen lip. "I couldn't stand to let them do more than hold my hand" She made the cutest face "Just the thought of kissing them was repulsive." I pulled her hips toward me, letting her feel just how hard she made me.
"Oh Dex" She gasped and her hands fell to my shoulders.
"I need you Fi" my voice was hoarse, my hands slid down her back and beneath her pajama bottoms. I gripped her backside in my hands and flipped her under me. Her skin was like pure silk. Her wild hair made her look so sensual, lying against my pillows, her chest heaving beneath me.
"I need you too" she nodded when I gave her a hesitant look. Did she realize how far I needed to take this? Did she know my whole body ached for her? "Make love to me Declan" Her voice was like honey.
And that was all the motivation I needed.
Before I could even process what was happening, my hands were already stripping her clothes from her beautiful body, my pants were added to the pile of discarded clothes. I moaned against her neck as I felt her bare breasts slide against my chest for the first time. She arched her body beneath mine and my heart thundered in my chest.
We always fit together like puzzle pieces; it was time to see if that theory held up in every way. I kissed each of her cheeks, her nose and crushed my lips down on hers. Her tongue snaked out and flicked across mine, her soft wet tongue, firm breasts, taut stomach and silky legs wrapping around my hips was almost too much to handle.
I positioned myself at her tight opening, normally I would have taken my time, exploring every inch of her delectable body, but I couldn't. Not tonight. I'd been waiting too long for her. Just for her. I needed to be inside her, I needed to feel like we were finally connected the way we were meant to be.
"Declan wait!" her whisper was breathless. Wait? Wait? I couldn't wait! But I did anything for her. "What is it Fi?" My voice was tight, I leaned down, kissing her right breast, and then her left, eliciting a moan from her sweet mouth.
"I don't…I didn't…I don't have any" I imagined her face flushing, even in the dark. Condoms. Damn it. She wanted me to wear a condom. I just wanted to feel her hot silky skin wrapped around me.
"Don't you get the shot every month?" I'd been angry when I found out the parental units put my virginal sister on birth control, but after reassurance from Fiona that they were just overreacting, I had calmed down. She nodded slowly, still unsure "I'll go find us protection if you want FiFi, but the shot will be enough." I leaned down, kissing her lips softly "Whatever you want"
She didn't answer me; instead she raised her hips sliding her opening down over the tip of my penis. I kissed her earlobe. "Are you sure?" It was barely audible.
"I want you to be my first" With that, I was halfway inside her, she winced, evidence of her virginity. "I'm going to be your only" was my guttural response.
Her arms wrapped around my back, she knew it was going to hurt, and she found safety in my arms, even when I was the one hurting her. That thought alone made me love her even more. I kissed her deeply, showing her how much I truly did love her. I could feel her body slowly adjusting to mine and knew there was no easy way to do this. "I love you Fi, it won't hurt for long" my mouth covered hers and I plunged deep inside her. Our hearts were thudding against our chests, her legs wrapped tightly around my hips, and her nails scraped down my back. She whimpered my name and I groaned. She was mine, she had always been mine, but I didn't doubt that now. I rocked back and forth, slowly. She was too tight, so exquisitely tight around me. After a few moments her hips began moving up and down, matching my rhythm, we moved perfectly as one. Our eyes locked and I felt her muscles tightening around me, she gasped as she climax, writhing under me. I wouldn't last much longer, I'd waited too long. I pulled nearly all the way out, ignoring her pleading to stay within her silky folds. I steadied myself and plunged deep inside her, burying myself to the hilt. She arched backwards and I captured her lips beneath mine, silencing both our moans of pleasure. Her legs locked around me, and I couldn't hold on any longer. I buried my face against her sweet scented neck and emptied myself inside her. We were both gasping for breath, clutching one another tight. We were finally whole. She was mine.
A few moments later I rolled over on my side, spooning her delicate body in front of mine. I kissed her flushed shoulder and toyed with her spiral curls. "I'll love you forever Fi" I whispered. It gave me chills when she repeated my words, kissed my wrist and nestled back against me, falling in to a deep and peaceful slumber.
If you think I should be happy, you'd be right.