This here is Nexis' request! Most of the chapter names hold a hidden meaning, truth be told. Care to give them a try for a request? ;3

Uuuuuuugh this is late but I've had a colossal writer's block and it is not budging.

I apologize in advance for the rhyming.

Christmas with the REDs

In Crater, across from the BLU base we all know, the RED team was toiling away, getting ready for Christmas day. Inside, Pyro and Medic sat on the floor, wrapping gifts as it was a job for all to abhor.

"Where's that double jumping half-pint when ya need him," grumbled Sniper, standing on a ladder to hang garland trim. Pyro did just shrug from its position on the rug. Even now, with the holidays in full sway, its suit and mask did stay. Suddenly, from outside, a great big THUNK did arise.

Knowing full well that this generally meant a cut or scrape, Medic immediately hopped up to treat the injuries from his team mate's latest escapade. He opened the door to implore on the condition of his colleague only to have him tumble onto the wooden floor. A grin was on his face, cheeks and nose red from the snow, and he popped right on up with no injury to show.

"Heya doc!" the Scout said, a bit too loud; from behind him came a deep rumbling sound. He stepped to the side and in came the Heavy, toting the freshly chopped pine tree which had brought him down the mountainside. "Man, ya shoulda seen us! Heavy liked it too, even if he fell off the bus."

The Russian grinned from ear to ear, putting up the tree in its proper place. Pyro looked up from its spot in front of the fireplace. Seeing this new danger, Medic abandoned the spry Scout, instead focusing on keeping an inferno from breaking out.

"Vhat do you mean, 'fell off ze bus'?" Spy asked from his place lounging against the wall, using a critical and loathing eye to take in all the holiday fuss. With a whoop and a holler, Scout jumped up and cheered, "We rode that there tree all the way down here!"

From the rooftop there was a great big bang, and Medic let out of a stream of curses skywards. Heading up to the source of the noise, he jabbed a finger at Spy and said, "Make sure Pyro doesn't set any fires!" With that he left in a hurry, shaking in a righteous fury. He was a doctor, damn it - he wasn't meant to baby-sit!

Up on the roof he found the origin of the sound - Demoman and Engineer, working together to create some Christmas cheer. Gunpowder could be smelled in the crisp air, and the doctor coughed at the smell of singed hair. "Oh, heya, Doc," said the slightly ruffled Engineer. Demoman waved from behind his beer.

Sighing, the German pushed his glasses up his nose. "Yes, vell … did you need help vid dose?" At the mechanical genius' blank look, Medic gestured to the fireworks with an annoyed look.

"Nah, we have it handled," the Texan said with a broad, gleaming grin. Medic rolled his eyes but went to go back in, pausing with the roof just below his chin.

"Yes, vell, hurry it up, dinner vill be served soon." Then he left, letting out a murmured breath of 'buffoon'.

Back downstairs there was a heavenly smell in place of the stink he had started to know so well. None of the REDs could cook, they had not the experience, patience, or finesse that it took. But sure enough, when he rounded the corner, a delicious feast spanned from one end of the table to the other. He stood by the door, dumbfounded and struck, only to be roused from his condition by a loud cluck.

"Sppp dndttt," said Pyro on the couch from behind its mask, having been bored easily of its assigned gift-wrapping task. The presents, however, were all ready to go - wrapped by Heavy if the tape still stuck to his hands was anything by to go. Now, as one, they all moved to the table, Demo and Engie appearing from upstairs. Peace lasted for all of ten seconds before a food fight had them all out of their chairs.