Southerly Rivals.

A series of Hetalia ficlets starring the two countries at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, who could care less about the rest of the world…and the friendly rivalry that is ongoing between the two…usually displayed in the stuff that they swipe from each other and claim as their own. Despite what many people think, Aussies and Kiwis actually do like each other and only tease (unmercifully at times) each other…the way siblings do. I can say this with some authority, as I was born in NZ and lived in Aus as a kid and love both countries unconditionally.


Jessica Watson is a young lady born in Australia of New Zealand parents. On May 15, 2010 three days shy of her 17th birthday, she unofficially became the youngest person to sail solo around the world, non-stop and unassisted. Her maternal grandfather, in New Zealand started a small row between the two countries when he jokingly said that New Zealand could share in the claim to fame as she is a citizen of both countries. Jessica herself says she is an Aussie, but does recognise that she has strong New Zealand roots too.

It was May and autumn was in full force in the Southern Hemisphere. New Zealand hopped across The Ditch to hang at Australia's house and avoid the Southerlies that were blowing up from the Antarctic. The two were lounging out on the front veranda watching the television with an esky full of beer between them.

"You sure that thing knows it's a vegetarian?" New Zealand piped up suddenly.

"Eh?" Australia looked first at her and then over to the koala eyeing up her sheep like a potential meal.

"Baz is eyeing up Cecil like a kea would in the mountains," she continued.

"Nah, she's right!" he assured with a laugh. "Cecil won't get eaten…sheered maybe," New Zealand glared at him. "Wot? It's getting cold and…wait? Keas eat sheep?"

"Yeah," she replied matter of factually. "They get up on their backs and peck at them to get to their kidneys."

"And yet you have the gall to go on about the wildlife over here?" Aussie admonished. "At least we don't have carnivorous parrots!"

"No, you've just got carnivorous everything else," she shot back.

"You've got a point there," he conceded after a moment.

The two returned their attention to the telly and watched as a little pink boat navigated towards Sydney Harbour, surrounded by a flotilla of vessels all clamouring to get a good view of the boat and her young captain. New Zealand leaned forward and had tears in her eyes as she watched the little pink boat sail through the Sydney Heads, officially ending an epic voyage that had started 210 days earlier.

"Oh good on ya Sweetheart," New Zealand sniffled as she watched. Australia glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and smirked.

"I've got a bone to pick with you by the way," he said, which got her full attention. "What's this about her being a Kiwi?"

New Zealand rolled her eyes and snorted. "If you'd bothered to read the whole article, you would have noticed her granddad was joking."

"Joking…right. Sounded to me like he was trying to claim her as a Kiwi," Australia retorted.

"Yes joking," she snorted. "I joke about stuff like that on my side of The Ditch while you blatantly nick anything not nailed down and call it yours."

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Bloody well do NOT!"

"Oi!" New Zealand exclaimed suddenly, pointing behind Australia and glaring.

"Baz put the bloody clippers back ya bastard," Australia scolded when he saw the koala sneaking across the veranda. He was about to continue arguing with New Zealand when her jaw suddenly dropped and all the colour faded from her face. Baz had returned, this time with a bottle of mint sauce. Australia laughed as Baz skulked over to a pile of eucalyptus leaves in a corner of the veranda. "No worries Love, Baz likes mint sauce on his gum leaves," he chuckled. New Zealand just stared on in horror. Cecil had seen the bottle too and decided that the other side of the yard was safer grazing.

The Ditch – Aussies and Kiwis lovingly refer to the Tasman Sea, the body of water separating them, as 'The Ditch'.