A/N: Based entirely on one comment received when visiting with a Welsh mate of mine recently. Rugby is New Zealand's national sport…swimming is Aussie's…three guesses who figures that the Webb Ellis trophy belongs to her and only her?
The nations of the world were wrapping up a meeting and the subject had somehow changed to sports. America and Canada were enthused that they'd been invited to New Zealand's house for a rugby tournament; the other countries invited were less enthused. The tiny Principality of Wy was playing with her new touch pad and cruising the internet for any dirt on what Kiri might have stashed up her sleeve for the upcoming rugby tournament. She finally found what she was looking for and glanced up at her older brother, Australia.
"Yeah what Kylie?"
"You're dead," she stated simply, holding the pad up for him to see. Tonga got up and looked over Shane's shoulder.
"Oh," the island nation muttered.
"Feleti mate…we're fucked," Shane stated.
"Yeah…oh hell she's sending them after me first?" Feleti groaned. "Fa'a man…we are dead," he added to his cousin Samoa. Feleti began rattling off the names of the team Kiri had put together and Fa'a paled.
"That's not fair," the large man swallowed. Nearby Britain, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales also heard the roster of players Kiri had rounded up. Three jaws dropped in horror, while Wales voiced what everyone was thinking.
"You bloody cheat!" Rhys hollered. Kiri grinned.
"I'm with the sheep shagger on that one," Shane muttered. Rhys glared and Shane shrugged. "I heard about the dare," the continent grinned. Rhys reached back and smacked Scotland hard in the back of the head.
"I agree…about the cheating thing," South Africa sighed.
"Oi Adam? Not my fault my boys are talented," Kiri defended cheerily.
"While mine are beat to hell," Adam muttered darkly.
Arthur glanced between Adam, Shane, and Kiri and swallowed audibly. "Problem mon ami?" Francis asked.
"If Adam and Shane are worried about what Kiri wrangled up for the rugby tournament…the rest of us hasn't got a hope in hell," Arthur sniffled. He liked the Webb Ellis cup, it was pretty.
Realisation dawned on France's face and he gulped. "Oui…d'accord…we're dead."
Nearby, Tahiti leaned on her hand and snorted. "I don't know what he's sweating bricks over," she grumbled. "It'll be my people tossed into the hangi pit." The Cook Islands patted her on the back.
"Nah, we'll spare our brothers and sisters, Alani," Rangi grinned. Alani just shot him a glare out of the corner of her eye.
"Sure…" she intoned, not believing him for a second. Kylie meanwhile had been digging around for more information regarding the upcoming tournament.
"Gave yourself an easy enough pool Kiri?" Kylie snickered, as she read the names.
"I could have thrown your brother, Adam, Arthur, and anyone of those three in my pool and still clobbered the lot," Kiri smirked, indicating Ireland, Scotland, and Wales.
"Instead you're dining on the Frog, Feleti, Kiku, and the yank first," Kylie chuckled. Kiku's head fell back as he muttered something about supplying his team with tanto in the event seppuku was called for. The last time his team faced Kiri's, it ended up in the record books as the most lopsided victory ever.
"Wait? Dining on?" Alfred gulped. Hawai'i developed the most sinister grin on her face at the question.
"Yeah, you didn't know that they eat their defeated enemies?" Leilani teased.
"Oh yeah! All of us Polynesians like a side of defeated enemy every now and then," she grinned.
"What did I agree to?" Matthew whimpered.
"Being slaughtered," Arthur commented. "Along with the rest of us it seems."
Far from the world meeting, the elders were gathered at their own meeting. Warrigal had a somewhat bemused look on his face as Aroha stood triumphantly over the cowering form of Rome. "So that's where Feliciano got it from," he muttered as Aroha vowed to devour all that fell before her.